Escaping the Past
by retailavenger85
Summary: Lt Kaidan Alenko learns to let go of the things that haunt his past with the help of his odd new Commander. His overwhelming urge to protect everyone is derailed by a woman who can take care of herself. An expansion of the "canon" story of ME1, with my own headcanon mixed in. Followed by 2 sequel stories that span the entire game.
1. Chapter 1

(Author's note: Basically this is a novelization of my Mass Effect Head Canon. It is my first fan fiction ever. I appreciate constructive criticism, but please be gentle. I've got the ego and self esteem of a large eggplant.)

__Chapter 1

_The golden haired angel came to him every night in his dreams._

_There were so many systems, so many planets in the broad expanse of space._

_When was he going to find her on one of them and show her the man he had become, the man who could protect her from everything...?_

Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko stared mindlessly into his screen, his finger idly tapping the arm of his seat. He heard the sounds of conversation behind him, but let them blend into muddled noise as he drifted back into his memories.

_He sat elbow to elbow with other teenagers around a small table, gleaming white and smelling slightly of disinfectant. Cards and small personal items were scattered everywhere. Across from him, a wiry young man was trying to comfort a girl with her face in her hands._

_"No, its okay, Rahna!" He cooed, putting an arm around the back of her chair. "I'm sure Kaidan will give you the locket back! I know you wouldn't have bet it if you knew he was bluffing. He's not so mean as to keep it from you, it's all you have to remind you of home."_

_Rahna raised her head, her blond hair falling in front of her face, slightly covering her bright blue eyes. As she did, nine other pairs of harsh eyes swiveled to glare at him._

The booming voice of Captain Anderson echoed through the cockpit. He jumped slightly, and didn't react in time to hear what was said. Even out of his thoughts, he still felt like he was being watched. He glanced to his left and saw Joker, the ship's pilot, staring at him, obviously expecting a reply. He fumbled through his brain, and went with his gut on the most likely response to the unheard question.

"He sounds mad."

"Eh, he always sounds that way when he talks to me." Joker went back to studying the controls. Kaidan sighed, content to have pulled himself out of a potentially awkward situation. Yet he still felt the eyes on him. He turned even more in his chair, and let his gaze fall upon the third person in the bow. The recently assigned Commander Shepard stood behind Joker, an almost ever-present look of amusement on her face. Kaidan's stomach sank. She knew he hadn't been paying attention, and that was definitely not a good impression to make. She thankfully didn't comment on it, and went back to what she and Joker had obviously been talking about before, the Turian Specter on board. After a few minutes of good-naturedly listening to Joker's theories of Council politics and Nihlus's actual motives, she headed back to the debriefing room for the mission update. The first real trip of the Normandy was to the colony of Eden Prime, to pick up and transport an ancient Prothean artifact, referred to as a beacon.

"Well, that was interesting." Joker glanced over the console at him. "No Commander has actually taken the time to listen to me. Usually it's 'just fly the ship, Joker.' 'You can't go that fast this close to an Volus cruiser, Joker.' 'How did you get that up here, put down the sandwich and pay attention to what you are doing, Joker.' It creeps me out to know she's really listening."

Rolling his eyes, Kaidan heaved himself out of the chair, and started wandering towards the stairs aft of the CIC. Shepard was indeed an odd Commander. She had proved that the moment she stepped foot on the Normandy.

She had come aboard earlier than her scheduled tour, and wandered the ship, talking to people, poking around in corners... Kaidan had been in the mess, eating lunch and reading the news on the extranet. They had been taking on a lot of crew; he was fairly new to the ship himself, so he had assumed her to be just another marine. Nothing about her really stood out, she looked to be around the average of most girls in the Alliance. Only slightly younger than him, years of running around in full armor had given her a thicker, more muscular midsection and thighs. Her hands had the strange female marine texture of being callused from gloves and weapons, but lotioned to prevent cracked skin and blisters. Hair that could only be described as mousey brown framed her face in a choppy hairstyle the girls he once knew called a bob, and had a slight wind-blown texture to it. A warm, friendly face had greeted him though, a small mouth, straight nose and dark brown eyes that seemed to radiate humor at something she was not going to share. It almost seemed familiar somehow, but that could have just been his current mental state that most Alliance girls looked alike. When he thought about it later, he had to admit that she was cute, one of the better looking marines he had encountered, but nothing compared to Rahna. Her tall, willowy figure danced gracefully through all parts of his brain, leaving no room for any other women.

They had spoke for a few brief minutes. News from around the fleet, a few pointed questions about the ship, and the reports of growing impatience from some renegade L2 Biotics about reparations. This last topic came after her notice of his amp, and with genuine interest in life as a biotic. Then with a look at the clock, she had apologized about interrupting his meal, and left him to eat in peace. It wasn't until several hours later, while standing at attention on the flight deck, did he recognize her as the hero of Elysium, Commander Shepard. As she and Captain Anderson walked past, she made eye contact and gave him the tiniest of smiles, more a sign of acknowledgment and approval than anything. He thought about hunching down slightly, until he noticed several of his fellow crewmates had the same mix of panic and recognition that he knew was on his own face. The worry gave way to relief; he wasn't the only one she had fooled.

Before he got to the stairs, he was intercepted by ball of energy Corporal Jenkins. His excitement over talking to the Commander and just seeing Nihlus was almost radiating off him. He opened his mouth for what was most likely going to be a hurricane of words, when Joker cut him off over the comms. He sounded agitated, all traces of his normal attitude vanished.

"Lieutenant, you and Jenkins are going down to the surface with the Commander and Nihlus. There's been a big change in plans."

Jenkins' eyes lit up, and he practically skipped off to find his gear. Kaidan shook his head, and trudged off after the corporal. He stopped briefly when he felt a hand on his arm. Doctor Chakwas held his gaze firmly.

"So many young people leave excited for combat." She said softly. "And so many of them come back to me in states I can do nothing for." With a sigh, she turned away from him and disappeared around a corner, heading back to her med bay.

Down on the flight deck, he strapped on his armor, checking that each piece fit snugly against the other. He gave a quick burst of his biotic power to make sure everything felt normal, and then started checking his guns. Jenkins stood on the other side of the deck, bouncing on the balls of his feet. In his excitement to get into combat, he hadn't fully clipped on his chest plate, and the constant jiggling was causing it to come loose. Resigned to go help the excitable marine, he swung his arm back to hostler his pistol, but his elbow met resistance where there should have been air. He turned quickly, but Commander Shepard leaned back to let his arm pass over her head. She said nothing, just raised an eyebrow at him, then jogged over and secured Jenkins into his armor. She then set him at going through his inventory check, taking care to show him how her routine differentiated. When she started doing fancy things with her own modded pistol, he casually sauntered over to watch.

"I make a point to try and know all my marines as people, Lieutenant." She didn't even look up from what she was doing. "They are marines first, and people second, but always individual people."

Before he could ask her to clarify, she locked her pistol in its holster and headed towards Anderson and Nihlus, gesturing with her head they should follow.

They were halfway through the briefing when they hit the atmosphere. It immediately became too loud to talk, so their instructions for the planet surface would have to wait. Kaidan leaned back against a bulkhead, closed his eyes, and retreated again into his mind.

_The minute you met her, you knew that all you wanted to do was protect her. She just gave off this feeling of helplessness. She was so fragile and clumsy with her biotics; it felt cruel to not want to help her. All she had to do was look at you with those giant bright blue eyes and you were ready to die for her._

A jolt through the flight deck shocked him back to the present. A quick glance around revealed Jenkins bouncing on his toes again, Nihlus reviewing some data with Anderson on his omni tool, and Shepard sitting on a crate, staring at him. It took him a moment to realize it wasn't him that she saw, she seemed to looking past him, lost in her own thoughts. No one knew anything about her pre-military life, but he knew enough about her service to know she probably had plenty of memories to reflect on.

The next few minutes were a blur, suddenly they were on the surface, Nihlus had gone off on his own, and they were making their way towards the dig site. Jenkins was excitedly telling them all about the terrain, the colony, and the gasbags that drifted slowly in the clearings. The sound of approaching thrusters caused a hush to fall over the group of marines, the seriousness of the situation finally hitting them. They cautiously rounded a corner, and three flying drones unfamiliar to their military training came into sight. Kaidan felt helpless as Jenkins burst out of cover and tried to take them all out at once. His lifeless body crumpled among the rocks, the drones moving ever closer. Pushing away the anger and grief, he reached out with his biotic power to grab onto a drone and flung it into a tree. As it exploded in a flash of sparks, he turned to sight on his next target. But there were no targets. Shepard was clipping her assault rifle onto her backplate, and walking towards the sad heap that once was Corporal Jenkins.

She crouched over him and closed his eyes.

"We'll be back for you. I promise." She whispered to the body.

Kaidan grabbed her arm to help her up, and was shocked by the transformation of her face. The gentle good humor was replaced by a cold, distant hardness. She shook her arm out of his grip, and motioned that they should press on.

An almost robotic efficiency took over her fighting style. Her moves became automatic, her excellent training showing off in the way she methodically took down drone after drone. Kaidan found it almost difficult to keep up with the pace. The loss of their third squad mate forced him to change his standard tactics, and he found himself using his pistol more than his biotics, to save strength. He was almost excited to see another human form barreling towards them before it dove behind a large boulder. After taking out the pursuing drones, they ran forward to check on the new arrival.

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212, Ma'am!" Her visor flipped up to reveal a thin face whose main feature was a rather large mouth. Not unattractive, just strangely wide. Said mouth was pursed tightly in a frown as she regained control over her composure. A few minutes of questioning revealed her to be the sole member of the 212 not killed in the ambush. A change again came over Shepard. Her body seemed to loosen, the hardness washed off her as she reassured Williams that the loss of her squad was not her fault.

"You're going to come with us, soldier. Stay close." Kaidan was glad to have another gun handy; he could go back to using his biotics as best he knew. He caught a glimpse of Shepard's face before she flipped her visor back down. The distant look in her eyes was gone, but the hardness remained. He wondered if she shared his need to protect people. If she did, the loss of Jenkins must have hit her hard. No wonder she was so insistent Williams came with them. She needed to prove to herself that she could get people through this.

Approaching the dig site, Williams seemed shocked that the beacon they were originally there to recover was gone. All that remained were tools and dead bodies impaled on spikes.

"Probably moved to the spaceport, Ma'am." Kaidan's gaze followed William's outstretched hand that pointed up a small embankment. A guttural moan interrupted whatever Shepard was about to say next, and the squad turned as one to view the horrors behind them. The spikes were retreating, and the corpses on them were twitching their way off the pedestals. Lumbering towards them, mouths open wide, they were possibly the most horrendous things Kaidan had ever seen in his life. At some point, they may have been the colonists of Eden Prime, but at this point all he could do was put them out of their misery before they got too close. He didn't even want to imagine what would happen if they got their hands on him.

_Or Shepard._

The thought stuck him so suddenly that his shot went over the head of his targeted creature. Williams came to his aid and caught it in the chest with her shotgun. She threw him a glance that essentially said, "What the hell, man?" and went back to blasting away. Finally, all of the monsters were dead. Or more dead than they were a few minutes ago. As Shepard and Williams opened a shed and questioned the traumatized scientists they found hiding inside, Kaidan racked his brain to figure out what had just happened. Shepard was not Rahna. She was a fully competent N7 marine, a Commander at that. He had had female squad mates before, and never felt a need to protect them beyond the camaraderie that military life built. He shook the strange thoughts away and tried to focus on what the female scientist was saying.

_Geth? Impossible._ Yet when he compared what he knew of the synthetic species with what he seen, he knew it was true. They left the scientists in their office, locking the door behind them, and started back toward the spaceport. The odd sound of a single shot quickened their pace. What awaited them brought an even larger cloud of doom down upon them. Nihlus lay sprawled on the ground, a halo of blue blood spilling out from the gaping wound in his head.

"Get out from behind there!" Williams yelled, drawing her gun and advancing on a stack of crates. Kaidan pulled his pistol out and followed her cautiously. From behind a large box came a rumpled looking dockworker.

"There was a second Turian here. Seemed to be a friend. Like they new each other. Called him... Uh... Saren. Then turned around. Blam." The dockworker mimed a gunshot with his thumb and forefinger. Shaking her head, Shepard sighed.

"Let's move out! We have to get to the beacon."

There were several Geth between them and they tram, but they buckled down and fought their way through. Kaidan leaned against the rail, catching his breath as the tram took them to the main loading dock. The short, quick ride down the rails deposited them at Spaceport Platform Two, and a sharp beeping noise from his omni tool demanded immediate attention.

"Commander! I'm detecting four explosive signatures!" He shoved his arm towards her, so she could see the proximity alarm flashing on his omni tool. As she tried to pinpoint the locations, a shot whistled past her ear. Gritting her teeth, she ducked and took off towards the nearest bomb. Kaidan and Williams followed, Williams bringing up the rear, shotgun at the ready.

They made short work of the Geth, the combination of biotics and shotgun efficiently tearing through the ranks as Shepard disarmed each bomb. Down the last stairs they encountered one final group of the not dead colonists, but eventually they were all put down. Distracted by the fighting, none of them had noticed the large tower at the end of the dock. The beacon. Relieved, Shepard walked off and called the Normandy to pick them up.

"I should probably find out if I can hitch a ride off world with you guys." Kaidan nodded distractedly as Williams trotted over to the Commander. He couldn't take his eyes off the beacon. He took two steps towards it, and was caught. It felt like something had reached through his chest and grabbed him by the spine. His feet scrambled against the ground as he was dragged towards the beacon until he was lifted into the air. Pain more intense then his worst biotic migraine began at the back of his head. Suddenly, there was a sensation of being knocked aside and he hit the ground. He rolled onto his side and to his horror saw Shepard had taken his place suspended in the air. A light surrounded her as if her biotic powers were too strong for her to control. But it was wrong. She had no biotic powers. He reached out for her. He was Kaidan, the protector. He had to protect.

"DON'T TOUCH HER!" Ashley roared, snatching his hand back. "It's too dangerous!" They watched together in shocked silence as the Commander twitched in the blue electric glow, until it released her and she dropped to the ground like a rag doll. With the Normandy landing in front of them, he gathered the limp Shepard in his arms and carried her to the ship.

Somewhere in his subconscious, without him even knowing it, the death grip Rahna had on him was loosening.


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N, I love that there are gameplay footage clips on youtube. It helps me get the dialog right, though I have changed some of it slightly to fit how I'd like. Just saying. Also, I love the mass effect wiki for all of the details that I forget. The combination of the two makes it so I don't have to replay the game for a 4th time. Yet.

Also, forgot to mention all of the intellectual property and such belongs to Bioware. Which I love.)

_In his mind Rahna ran down a long hallway, her blonde hair flowing gracefully behind her. _

_Doors flung open as she past, revealing all parts of his mind, she was everywhere in his thoughts. _

_But now, there was a door where there had never been a door before. She stopped and frowned at it. Even when she frowned, she was ethereally beautiful. When the door didn't open at her glance, she tried the handle. Locked. Why was something in his brain locked away from her? What new thoughts were growing that she was not to be a part of?_

Kaidan didn't know why he was still in the sick bay. He had brought the Commander back and delivered her to Doctor Chakwas. There were other things for him to attend to, there would be a debriefing when she woke up. But he couldn't bring himself to leave. His thoughts raced. HE had screwed up and activated the beacon, SHE had to knock him aside. In protecting him, she had gone through intense pain and potential brain damage. That was wrong, it wasn't suppose to happen like that.

His constant pacing must have worn on the poor doctor's nerve, as he completed yet another length of the room, he turned to find her standing in his path.

"Lieutenant, this isn't doing anyone any good. You also took quite the pounding on the surface. You need rack time." The doctor pointed forcefully out the windows to the sleeping pods. He must have had some kind of pathetic look on his face, because she lowered her hand, and placed it on his shoulder. "If you go sleep for an hour or two, I promise to wake you when the Commander does. If she doesn't wake by then, you can relieve me, so I can get an hour of shut eye. Now GO."

Before entering a pod, he turned to take one last look at the small figure curled up on the bed. Unfortunately his view was obstructed by a grumpy looking Doctor Chakwas, who again pointed at the sleeper pods. Lowering his head, he stepped in and closed the door. Immediately he fell into a dreamless sleep, which was odd. He had dreamt every night since leaving BAaT. When the doctor woke him up a few hours later, it was like he had just gone in. He shook it off as having been exhausted, and grabbed a datapad. He could catch up on the latest news while Chakwas took her turn sleeping on one of the cots.

Several hours later, just as he was about to finally give up and go do something productive, Kaidan noticed the Commander finally starting to stir.

"Doctor! I think she's waking up..." Shepard sat up, cradling her head in her hands. The doctor rushed over to check her out, and inquired as to how she was feeling.

"Not too bad. Minor throbbing. How long was I out?" A look of shock crossed the Commander's face as she was told she had been out for 15 hours. "Must have been something with that beacon."

This was the part he had been dreading.

"It was my fault, I must have triggered some kind of security beacon when I approached it." He felt his cheeks flush with humiliation. "You had to push me out of the way."

Turning slightly, Shepard gave him a sympathetic look, and told him he had no way of knowing what would happen. The fact that she not only didn't blame him for activating the beacon, but also wasn't going to bring up his rescue came as a major relief. He gratefully gave her a small smile. Doctor Chakwas quickly filled her in on the destruction of the beacon, and the extent of her injuries, then shooed him out, most likely there was going to be a more thorough exam.

Lingering by the mess table, he tried to process the last few hours. Sure, the mission had gone to hell, but that had happened several times over the course of his military career. He certainly wouldn't be lingering near the med bay if it had been Williams that had been hurt. To be fair, he did not know the Chief very well since she had joined the crew, but in their short acquaintance, she had needed a lot more rescuing than Shepard. Why did just being around Shepard make him feel... warm? Maybe he had been in space too long, he was a man after all. But then why not WIlliams? To be fair, her face was more aesthetically pleasing then the Commander's, but it lacked the warmth and good humor. _A door in his mind slammed shut before Memory Rahna._ His head shot up as he heard the med bay doors opened. Frantically, he tried to look like was not really doing something, but not actually slacking off. It ended up as him standing awkwardly by the table. The perpetual half smile back on her face, Shepard wandered up and stopped in front of him. Before he could stop himself, words came tumbling out.

"Commander. I'm glad to see you're ok." Ugh. Could he sound more wooden? He mentally kicked himself. _Lighten up a bit, dammit!_ "Losing Jenkins was hard on the crew. I'm glad we didn't lose you too." He felt the blush returning. Too light! Thankfully, she again didn't bring up his obvious awkwardness.

"Things were pretty rough down there." She agreed, and folded her arms across her chest. Her small chest, he noticed. Well, not exactly small, just smushed down by her uniform.. _stop looking stop looking! _Feeling panic rising, he continued babbling.

"You never really get used to seeing dead civilians. It doesn't seem right." _Thank you, Lieutenant Obvious. Change the subject, and quickly!_ "At least you stopped Saren from wiping out the whole colony." The half smile on her face spread into a grin.

"I couldn't have done it without you." She must know how uncomfortable he was. Not uncomfortable in a 'stop it or I'll shoot you' way, but an 'I've not felt like this in over 10 years, what are you doing to me?' kind of way. He fumbled through his brain and came up with what he thought to be the most appropriate response.

"We're Marines. We stick together." There. Totally harmless. "I'm just sorry we lost Jenkins." _He remembered her on the flight deck with the excited Corporal, doing her best to prepare him for what would become his final mission. _The smile slowly faded off her face, her eyes left his and drooped down until she stared at the floor near his feet.

"I wish I could have done something to save him." The sudden appearance of vulnerability shocked him. She was his Commander, why would she show this side of herself to him? Wasn't she supposed to be the fearless leader?

"I was there. You did everything right. It was just bad luck." He ducked his head down slightly to regain eye contact. Time to back out of this line of conversation. They talked for a few moments about the impending wrath of the citadel council. They were going to be very displeased at the destruction of the beacon, and the loss of one, maybe two spectres. Seemingly impressed by his political knowledge, Shepard asked about his own service with the alliance. "I'm a career man. Most biotics are." Kaidan told her about the monitoring of human biotics, and his father's military career. Trying to get the focus off himself, he asked about her family.

"Now that's classified information, Lieutenant." She grinned at him. The awkward pause in their conversation was interrupted by Joker, apparently the Captain had been waiting for Shepard in the briefing room. She excused herself and made her way to the elevator.

He slumped in a chair at the mess table. What was wrong with him? He used to be so calm, so confident. The desire to find Rahna and show her that he had become a strong man had always overridden thoughts of other women. _Why Shepard? Why now? _Why did he feel like his thoughts of Rahna were slowly slipping from him? She was everything a man could want. Beautiful, brilliant, loyal, fragile and needing a protector. What was Shepard? She was plain, practically wild and obviously did not need a hero. But she gave off a warmth that not even his memories could provide.

He stood up abruptly, they would be nearing the Citadel. He should go find Williams, who had never been to the Citadel, and would probably enjoy the view. Shaking his head, he tried to push all thoughts of women from his head. Shepard was his commanding officer, there were rules against things like that. The last thing he needed was to have two unobtainable women running around in his head.

The approach to the Citadel was unlike anything in the galaxy, the view breathtaking. However, he privately admitted to being more amused by Shepard and Williams gawking out the window like schoolgirls at the Destiny Ascension. Though he was not sure that schoolgirls would giggle over a giant military starship.

While Joker deftly maneuvered them into the Alliance docking area, Kaidan put on his hardsuit to accompany the Commander onto the Citadel. Williams wanted to go in her dress blues, but was quickly reminded she did not have them with her. She sulked over to the airlock in her bright pink Phoenix armor, a scowl on her face, daring him to mention the color.

"I've never known why they put us in that. Its like they want us to stand out and get shot." Shepard had snuck up behind them. She was way too good at that. "I bet you don't like getting shot, Williams. I know I don't. We will pick you up a new suit on the Citadel. Just hold tight with that until after the meeting." She looked Kaidan up and down. "You look fine, Lieutenant. No new suit for you, unless you want the pink armor."

He rolled his eyes at her, and she let out a laugh. The airlock opened, and Shepard lead them out onto the deck. A nervous looking Yeoman was there to escort them to the Ambassadors quarters, and most of the trip passed in silence as the group took in the overwhelming hugeness of the Citadel.

When they arrived, an argument was coming to an end. Kaidan caught a quick glimpse of the holographic councilors before they blipped off, then Ambassador Udina turned to focus his anger on them. Not being part of the main discussion, Kaidan and Williams retreated to the railing as Shepard defended herself and Anderson. After a few minutes of heated discussion, they were ordered to make their way to the Council Chambers, where the council was waiting for them. Anderson and Udina left to take care of things before the meeting, leaving the Marines to their own devices.

"We should make our way to the tower, Commander." Kaidan brought up the map on his omni tool, and pointed towards their destination. But the Commander had her head stuck out the office door and was looking around excitedly.

"Not so fast.. I want to check things out a bit." Kaidan and Williams shared a glance, then rushed to catch up with Shepard, who was already heading off down the hall. She had definitely not been kidding about checking things out, they spent an hour poking around in offices, talking to EVERYONE, and generally taking in the sights. Finally, they arrived at the tower elevator and stood around aimlessly as it made its long journey down to them. As they waited, Williams kept staring over her shoulder at the large creature several yards away.

"Never seen a Hanar before, Chief?" Shepard gestured with her head back at the alien they had just been talking to. Its voice was slightly muffled by distance as it preached its religion to passersby. The elevator arrived, and as they stepped in, the closing doors silenced the preacher.

"Only on the extranet," Williams admitted, leaning against the elevator walls. "I didn't know that they were that big. Or tentacley."

"It is a bit of shock, the first time you see one." Shepard shot an evil look at Kaidan. "I almost wanted to call it a big stupid jellyfish, just to see if we could get a laugh out of the Lieutenant." He must have blushed again, because both women started laughing. "That would not have been diplomatic of me, though. I can't be rude to the Hanar, it would be like kicking a very squishy puppy."

The light mood dissipated as soon as they reached the Council Chambers. Anderson and Udina did not look pleased by their delay, and hustled them before the council. Everything went downhill from there. Kaidan felt angry and helpless as a large holographic Saren denied all of the charges they had brought forth. The council refused to accept any of the eyewitness testimony they had, and ended the meeting. Defeated, the small group of humans gathered at the back of the chambers to think up a new plan. The ambassador suggested they talk to his old contact from C-Sec, a man named Harkin, who drank at a sleazy bar in the wards.

"So are we detectives now, as well as marines?" Williams cracked as they headed back towards the elevator. Shepard snorted and idly pushed the call button. They rode down in silence, Kaidan tried desperately to focus on listening to the news reports, as standing behind the Commander was proving to be very distracting. The nature of their job required speed and mobility, and that required light and form fitting armor. He cursed under his breath as Shepard shifted her weight, and prayed that there would be no more elevator rides. _Another door closed._

They made their way through the Presidium towards the wards, and an agonizingly long elevator ride brought them to a main walkway. Before them was a view like Kaidan had never seen. The entirety of the Citadel lay before them, glowing brightly against the blackness of space. The group leaned on a railing, transfixed by the sight.

"Big place!" He cringed, knowing he sounded like an idiot, and hoped Shepard wouldn't comment on it. She didn't, but Williams jumped at the bait.

"Is that your professional opinion, sir?"

"No, he's right, Chief." Shepard stared out at the view. "This isn't a station, its a city!"

The conversation turned to comparing the Citadel to Alliance bases, and Kaidan felt himself relaxing. He could almost pretend he was on shore leave with friends, instead of being on a mission with his commanding officer and a mouthy NCO. Sure enough, Williams was saying something slightly offensive again.

"Why wouldn't aliens like humans?" Shepard turned to stare at the Chief. "We've got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love..." her voice was heavy with sarcasm. "According to the old vids, we have everything they want!"

"When you put it that way," Kaidan heard himself say, "There's no reason they wouldn't like you.." _Oh hell._ "I mean us. Humans! Ma'am." He blushed again.

"You don't take much shore leave, do you, L.T?" Williams could barely contain her laughter, Kaidan shot her the dirtiest look he could muster.

"Alright, laugh it up, Chief." Shepard grinned at him. "I appreciate the thought, Alenko, but we are on duty here." She turned to start walking away from the railing.

"Aye Aye, Ma'am." Kaidan was mortified. What had possessed him to say that? Had she really gotten into his head that quickly? A wave of guilt washed over him, momentarily displacing the humiliation. What about Rahna? Part of him had hoped he could have used the Ambassador's contacts to help track her down, but that was quickly getting shoved aside. There were so many more pressing matters to attend to. Like helping Shepard.

On their way to the bar called Chora's Den, they made a quick stop in the market to reoutfit Williams. A new hard suit in grey pleased the Chief in the way some girls fawned over small yappy dogs, and then they were off again. While she changed, Kaidan idly browsed the pistols, the one he had know was relied on almost exclusively when he wasn't using his biotics.

Pressing on, the group were a hundred feet from the bar when they realized how alone they were.

"I can hear the noise from here," Shepard was drawing her sidearm. "For a bar that noisy, there should be more people coming and going from it. Something is very wrong here." She crept up to a wall, and poked half her head around it.

The shot whistled above her head, but the assassins were poorly trained. Three marines were more than a match for them. Kaidan checked the bodies. No ids, no mercenary band insignias, nothing to enlighten as to who they were, and why they had been sent to kill Shepard. The bodies were shoved to the side, the faded stains of blood on the wall indicated that this was not an infrequent type of event.

Chora's Den was dark and loud. Scantily clad Asari danced on top of the bar, and on smaller private tables. Kaidan was privately happy for the low lighting, the recently ever present blush was creeping back across his face. _Am I 15 again? What is wrong with me? I am a Marine. _He felt eyes on him, and turned to see his companions looking at him expectantly. Williams looked at him accusingly.

"As a man, LT, what do you think of this kind of place?"

"I see why this place is so popular." He stared directly back at her, not even wanting to see Shepard's reaction. "Its got quite the.. uh..." He looked. Her eyebrows were up, her lower lip twitching. "View." he finished miserably.

"Hey, Lieutenant, put your tongue back in your mouth before you trip on it." Williams looked disgusted. "A million light years from where humanity began, and we walk into a bar filled with men drooling over half naked women shaking their asses on a stage. I can't decide if its funny or sad."

"What? You don't think they are here because of the food?"

Shepard stared at him open mouthed.

"Alenko, was that a joke?" She grinned at him, that look of delightful mischief he was beginning to see more often. "I didn't think you had it in you." She shook her head slowly, then motioned to a back table. "I'm pretty sure that's Harkin, lets go investigate."

Harkin turned out to be just as sleazy as the bar. Within ten seconds he had commented on Shepard's "sweet ass", and Kaidan felt himself get tight. _I could hit him. Stand up for her. Defend her honor. _But she was the Commander. She had deal with the creep herself. _Rahna would have expected me to punch him. She would have stood there and whimpered until I did something. _He pushed the thought away, and came back to the conversation.

"If you call me Princess again, you are going to be picking your teeth up off the floor." Shepard was leaning forward, her face inches from Harkin's. His eyes were wide and fearful. He practically overflowed with information, most likely in the hopes they would leave. After several minutes of babble and a lot of over sharing, his voice trailed off. Shepard clapped him on the shoulder, nodded, and turned to leave. "Apparently, this is not going to be as straightforward as I had hoped." She sounded disappointed. "We have to go find a Turian C-Sec investigator named Garrus. Supposedly he is over at a medical clinic near where we came in."

"So we do get to be detectives after all." Williams sighed, and stretched out his arms. "I was worried this was going to be boring."

"I see a lot of running around in our future, Chief." True to her word, Shepard took off jogging out of the bar. Kaidan shrugged at Williams and followed. Whatever was happening, both on the Citadel and in his mind, if was definitely not going to be boring.


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N. Sorry it took so long, I was playing Assassins Creed and it's hard to keep stories straight in my head. But I'm back. Hopefully I can get everyone off the Citadel now.)

__CHAPTER 3

_Mental doors close and lock, herding memories like lost sheep to their proper place in the past. Some memories are not very happy about this. _

The marines retraced their path back toward C-Spec, passing swiftly through crowds of idle shoppers. The medical clinic was just beyond the viewpoint they had stopped at earlier, and Kaidan made a point to not look at it. He didn't want to give the Chief a reason to remind everyone of the awkwardness of that earlier strange moment.  
>When they arrived at the clinic, they found the doctor was not with a Turian, but several thuggish looking humans. They clustered around her, demanding information about Garrus and a Quarian. The main thug must have seen them, because he grabbed the doctor, and pointed his pistol at the squad. However before he could get two words out, there was a loud crack, and he crumpled to the floor, a bullet hole above his right eye. Shepard took off, taking cover behind a half wall in the center of the room, while Williams sprinted towards the doctor. Kaidan cursed to himself. With all the sensitive medical equipment here, his biotics were probably out the question. He grabbed for his pistol and ran after Shepard, sliding into cover behind her.<br>"I'm going to check around the corner and count how many are left." Shepard hissed at him. "Can you check over the top of the wall for Williams and the other two?" Kaidan nodded, and raised his head just enough to peer over. The Turian they assumed to be Garrus had joined Williams and the doctor behind an examination cot. Curiously, the Chief had a look of displeasure on her face he had not noticed earlier. Usually during fights she had grim determination written all over, but now she looked more irritated than anything. More importantly, though, she and the others looked unharmed. He ducked back down, and huddled in with the Commander. "There are only three of them left. Do we have all of us?" Again, Kaidan nodded. Her face was mere inches from his, and his brain was just not forming words. She nodded back, and burst out of cover, firing towards the man in the back of the room. Kaidan leaned over the wall, taking out a thug who had been approaching the doctor's hiding spot. With him gone, Williams and Garrus jumped up and opened fire, dropping the last thug in a hail of bullets.

As soon as the firefight was over, Kaidan noticed the Chief scooting as far away from Garrus as she could. She must have an issue with Turians. Many people still held grudges about the first contact war; she might be one of them. _Williams. _Wait. That would explain a lot, but it was a very common last name. He would have to find a way to ask her later. Delicately. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind, and refocused. Shepard was asking the doctor about the thugs and the information they wanted.  
>"The Quarian asked for information on the Shadow Broker." The doctor said. "She wanted to trade information. I put her in touch with Fist, who owns Chora's Den. He's an agent for the Shadow Broker."<br>"Not anymore." Garrus interrupted. "Now he works for Saren, and the Shadow Broker isn't too happy about it." The doctor looked horrified.  
>"Fist betrayed the Shadow Broker? That's stupid, even for him!" she shook her head. "Saren must have made him quite the offer."<br>"That Quarian must have something he wants. Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get."  
>Silence fell as the group contemplated the new information.<br>"Wait! Geth!" The doctor shouted. "She said her information was about the Geth!"  
>"She must have a way to link Saren to the Geth. The council will not be able to ignore this!" Garrus looked pleased. At least, Kaidan thought he looked pleased; he was still learning to read expressions on Turian faces. "This is your show, Shepard. But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I'm coming with you."<br>Williams went pale.  
>"We should keep the squad small, Commander. For… stealth reasons." She looked pleadingly at Kaidan, practically begging him to back her up. He sighed. She had a bit of a point, but he was going to get to the bottom of this, eventually.<br>"Maybe the Chief should head back to the ship and get her new armor fitted." He gave a tug on her shoulder plate. "I noticed this wobbling around during that last fight." Shepard nodded.  
>"Dismissed, Chief, go get that looked at." Williams gave Kaidan a grateful look, and jogged off. He and Garrus made eye contact, and if Garrus had had eyebrows, one would have been raised.<br>"You know, we aren't the only ones after Fist." Garrus said, leaving the awkward questions unasked. "There was a Krogan bounty hunter down in C-Sec earlier. He was causing a fuss in Chora's Den. I'm pretty sure he was sent by the Shadow Broker."  
>"I thought we were going for stealth." Shepard did have an eyebrow to raise at Kaidan. "I think an angry Krogan would set us back a bit in that department. We can find him and fill him in after we deal with Fist."<br>They took the rapid transit back to Chora's Den, to try and get to the Quarian before Fist's men did. Shepard wedged herself into the middle seat, fitting snugly between Kaidan and Garrus. The Turian gazed out the side window, causing the fringe on the back of his head to stick out uncomfortably close to Shepard's face. Leaning away from it, she ended up inches away from resting her head on Kaidan's shoulder. He felt warm, not having been this close to her before in a non-combat situation. _Her hair smelled good. _How was that possible? She's been running around all day in full armor, and yet, her hair smelled good. _Stop smelling your Commanding Officer's hair, dammit!_ He twitched awkwardly, and she looked up at him.  
>"At ease, Lieutenant!" She grinned. "Don't mind me, I'm just doing some tactical maneuvering." Garrus turned to ask her a question, and she was able to sit upright again. Kaidan placed his forehead against the cool glass of the window and let the warmth in his face dissipate. Seriously, what was his issue? He had spent the last 12 years in love with Rahna, now after just a month of knowing Shepard, he was starting to feel similar thoughts towards her. <em>It's just some stupid kind of crush.<em> He'd spent too long avoiding women, and she has official power over him. _I'm misreading my respect for her as an officer for other kinds of feelings. _As soon as they sorted out this Saren business, he'd see if the Ambassador has the registration lists for the other BAaT evacuees. That would give him a start towards finding where Rahna had ended up. Put him another step closer to finding her.

The rapid transit dropped them off around the corner from the bar. The thumping music still played, but there were no snippets of conversation drifting towards them, no sounds to indicate the bar had any patrons at all. Shepard quickly backed up against the wall, pistol out. Kaidan joined her and charged his biotic powers; an electric blue cloud covered his hand, pulsing out in subtle waves. A soft click alerted him to Garrus behind him, prepping his own weapon. The Commander gave a nod, and they moved slowly towards Chora's Den. Fist and his men were expecting them, the resulting fight in the bar swift and brutal.  
>After clearing the main room of hired thugs, Garrus hacked the back door leading to Fist's office. The door sprung open, revealing two young warehouse employees, pistols at the ready.<br>"Is Fist really worth dying for?" Shepard asked them. "Get the hell out of here." They exchanged a glance, and took off running. Garrus gaped at her.  
>"How-"<br>"They were just kids, and I'm just that charming." Shepard shrugged, and headed off down the hall. Garrus turned to Kaidan.  
>"Does she do that often?"<br>"She's only been my CO for about a month," Kaidan said. "But from what I've seen, yeah."  
>Shepard reappeared, jerked her head towards the hall, and disappeared again. They ran to catch up with her, and together the squad burst into Fist's office. They caught him by surprise, and in the few moments of panic, were able to disarm the turrets he had set up. Shepard swept her leg behind his, and brought Fist to his knees.<br>"Where is the Quarian?" Her voice was cold as she rested the tip of her pistol on his temple.  
>"She said she would only talk to the Shadow Broker himself!" His words came out in a rush; all traces of bravado had vanished when he lost his guards and turrets. "I told her I would set up a meeting in a back alley. But I sent a group to take care of her instead." His eyes were large and pleading. "Please! Don't kill me!"<br>"I don't ever want to see you again. Not on the Citadel, not in this Galaxy. Run." She pulled her gun back from his head, but kept it aimed until he was out of sight. "Ok, time to rescue a Quarian!"

Their trip to the back alley was slightly delayed by a group of mercenaries; obviously the news of Fist's departure had not spread to the men he paid. Kaidan decided the welfare of the bar was not a priority at this point, and let loose with his biotics. Bottles and glasses flew before the squad, a wall of glittering shrapnel to clear their path. Any thug foolish enough to not abandon the fight was cut to ribbons. Outside the bar, they stopped for Garrus to check their position. Without their helmets, Kaidan and Shepard lacked heads up displays, and had to rely on the Turian's eyepiece and knowledge of the Citadel. Kaiden learned against a nearby wall, and let his mind clear, until sudden pressure on his shoulder brought him back.  
>"That was a nice display back there, Alenko. I've never seen a biotic do that with glass before." Shepard had appeared next to him, her gloved hand pressed firmly on his shoulder. Kaidan ducked his head.<br>"I'd like to say it came from some special Alliance situational biotic training, but it didn't." He admitted. "When I was a Private, a friend and I found ourselves in the middle of a huge bar brawl while on shore leave." Shepard raised an eyebrow.  
>"Found yourselves in, or started?" She flashed him that giant grin again. His noncommittal answer was interrupted by loud excitement from Garrus. He had hacked into the Citadel security feed and picked up a disturbance. "Ah, that will be our Quarian. Another time, Lieutenant, you will be finishing this story."<br>They wound their way through a series of back alleys, empty of the shoppers and merchants that crowded the main concourse. Hearing conversation ahead, the squad paused at the top of some stairs.  
>"I will only talk to the Shadow Broker!" The slightly muffled voice of the Quarian was loud and agitated. "Fist told me he would be here. You are not the Shadow Broker! The deal is off!" A large Turian towered above the hooded figure, reaching out towards her arm. She recoiled quickly, and set off a flash bomb, ducking behind a large crate in the split second of confusing.<br>"Looks like we're needed!" Shepard whipped out her pistol and shot the menacing Turian in the back of the head. Two smaller assassins crept out from around a corner; Kaidan reached out with him biotics and lifted them into the air, holding them as Garrus calmly picked them off. With the danger passed, the same Quarian picked her way over the bodies to approach the squad. She was covered from head to toe in an environmental suit, her face completely obstructed by tinted glass. Glowing eyes peered out at them, as her slightly mechanized voice chatted angrily.  
>"Fist set me up! I knew I couldn't trust him!" As she talked, she checked her suit for damage. "I can take care of myself, but I appreciate the help. Who are you?"<br>"My name is Shepard, I'm looking for evidence to prove Saren is a traitor."  
>"I am Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, and I now have a chance to repay you for saving my life." She fiddled nervously with her omni tool. "But not here. We need to go somewhere safe."<br>"Commander, we could take her back to the embassy," Kaidan looked around nervously. He couldn't believe Fist would only send three assassins; more were certainly on their way. "Besides, Udina and Captain Anderson will want to hear this."  
>Shepard nodded, and they made their way out to the main concourse, an attack was unlikely when they were lost in the crowd. They were too large of a party to take rapid transit, so they made their way back slowly, letting Garrus guide them through the most populated areas.<p>

Upon reaching the ambassador's office, Shepard turned to Tali.  
>"Are you ready for this?" The Quarian gave a quick nod, and they made their way into the office.<br>"You are not making my life easy, Shepard." Udina had his back to them, and was shaking his head slowly. Shepard and Kaidan settled into properly attentive military stances. "Firefights in the wards, an all out assault on Chora's Den? Do you know how many-" He stopped, staring at Tali. "Who is this? A Quarian? What are you up to, Shepard?"  
>"Making your day, Ambassador." She gave a half smile, and nodded towards Tali. "She has information linking Saren to the Geth."<br>"Really." He looked skeptical. "Maybe you had better start at the beginning. We don't see many Quarians here. What are you doing so far away from the Flotilla?"  
>Kaidan listened attentively, fascinated by the Quarian's brief description of life on the Flotilla, and the rite of passage undertaken to find new equipment and technology. Having been forcibly taken from his family, he always found it interesting when other cultures sent their young away. However, it sounded like she would be welcomed back with open arms. He had not been so lucky.<br>From what Tali was saying, it sounded like the Geth fascinated her. The Quarians had created them, and then in turn been driven by them from their home world.  
>"I tracked a patrol of Geth to an uncharted world, I waited for one to become separated from its unit. Then I disabled it and removed its memory core."<br>Captain Anderson frowned.  
>"I thought the Geth fried their memory core when they died. Some kind of defense mechanism."<br>"How did you manage to preserve the memory core?" Shepard asked.  
>"If you are quick, careful, and lucky, small caches of data can be saved. Most of the core was wiped clean. But I salvaged something from its audio banks." She cued up the file on her omni tool. The voice of Saren filled the room.<br>"Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the conduit." The mention of the beacon made Kaidan's blood run cold. That thing he had exposed Shepard to. Was it even worse then he imagined it was?  
>Anderson and Shepard immediately began dissection the message.<br>"The conduit must have something to do with the beacon." Kaidan groaned internally. Thank _you, Captain Anderson, Master of the Obvious_. "Maybe its some kind of Prothean technology. Like a Weapon!"  
>"Wait." Tali adjusted her omni tool. "There's more. Saren wasn't working alone."<br>The audio of Saren played again, but this time was followed by a second voice, a woman whose voice gave off a sense of power.  
>"And one step closer to the return of the Reapers."<br>"What are the Reapers? Are they some new kind of alien species?" Shepard turned to Tali, who was resetting her tool.  
>"According to the Memory core, the Reapers were a race of hyper advanced machine race that existed fifty thousand years ago. They hunted the Protheans to total extinction and then vanished. At least, that's what the Geth believe."<br>"This sounds a little far fetched." Udina crossed his arms and stared at Shepard.  
>"The vision on Eden Prime..." Shepard nervously played with a strand of her hair. "I understand it now. I saw the Protheans being wiped out by the Reapers."<br>That was what she had seen? Kaidan felt sick. His stupidity had forced her to watch the brutal genocide of an entire species. She must harbor some resentment about that, no matter what she told him.  
>"Geth revere the Reapers as gods, the pinnacle of non-organic life." If he could see her face, Kaidan was sure the Quarian would be glaring at Udina. "And they believe Saren knows how to bring them back."<br>Udina glared right back at her.  
>"The council is going to love this."<br>"The Reapers are a threat to every species in Citadel space. We have to tell them." Shepard looked determinedly at Captain Anderson. His backup on this would be vital.  
>"No matter what they think about the rest of this, those audio files prove Saren is a traitor." Kaidan sighed with relief. He was worried for a moment that Anderson would want to keep the whole mess under wraps.<br>The Ambassador's face lit up, he seemed more excited and animated then he had all day.  
>"The Captain is right! We need to present this to the council right away!"<br>Out of the corner of his eye, Kaidan noticed the Quarian slowly shifting her weight back and forth. She kept leaning forward as if she had something to say, but then pulling herself back. She's probably nervous about what's going to happen to her. After this gets out, there are going to be a lot of people angry with her. Still, it doesn't look like she is going to say anything.  
>He took a deep breath and stepped up so that he was standing next to Shepard.<br>"Commander, before we go, what's going to happen to the Quarian?"  
>"My name is Tali!" She rushed up to Shepard's other side. "You saw me in the alley. You know what I can do. Let me come with you!" There was a vulnerability to her voice that the electronic interference couldn't quite mask.<br>"I'll take all the help I can get. Welcome aboard, Tali'Zorah."  
>The Ambassador gave them strict instructions to report to the Council Chambers, and then excused himself and the Captain.<p>

Kaidan smiled to himself. One more meeting with the council and this whole thing would be settled. Maybe the Alliance would take pity on the crew and let them take some shore leave. He could really use some time to dig through any records they had on the Citadel. The incident at BAaT was hushed up, but when you move children, records have to be made somewhere. If there was going to be any information on Rahna, it was going to be here.

A small hooded head moved into his view, and he looked down into the glowing eyes of Tali'Zorah.  
>"I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. I was just afraid of being left behind."<br>"Don't worry about it." He laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "You're one of us now. And Commander Shepard never leaves a man behind."  
>"Does that include me now as well?" Garrus had spent the entire meeting silent as a ghost, clearly unsure of his role in the situation.<br>"That will be up to the Commander, but I certainly hope so."  
>"Alright, people! The council is waiting for us." As Shepard turned to head out the door, a strange look passed across her face. As best as he could tell, it seemed like a brief mix of confusion and frustration. She must be still thinking about the beacon. He pulled his hand back from Tali, and they dashed to the Rapid Transit.<p>

Captain Anderson met them at the bottom of the Council Chamber stairs. As they followed him up, they could hear Udina had already started to present their evidence. They reached the top of the stairs just as the audio file ended. The look of shock on the Councilors faces was evident, even across the distance of the chamber.  
>"This evidence is irrefutable, Ambassador." The voice of the Turian Councilor boomed across the room. "Saren will be stripped of this Spectre status, and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes."<br>The mood of the Asari Councilor perked up, a smile of satisfaction spreading across her blue face.  
>"I recognize the other voice, the one speaking with Saren. Matriarch Benezia." The confused silence that followed her statement prompted her to continue. "Matriarchs are Asari who have entered the final stages of their lives. Revered for their wisdom and experience. They serve as guides and mentors to my people. Matriarch Benezia was a powerful biotic and she had many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren."<br>That statement made Kaidan nervous, his biotic powers were fairly strong, and with the L2 implant, he had a much stronger power than younger human biotics. But all of his power seemed minuscule next to the natural talent of the Asari. The long-lived race had honed their abilities over thousands of generations, and each lifespan averaged around a thousand years. If she was considered skilled among them, then they were going to need a lot of help, and a lot of firepower, to get to her.

The hooded figure of the Salarian Counselor turned away from his peers, and towards the squad.  
>"I'm more interested in the Reapers. What do you know about them?"<br>"Only what was extracted from the Geth's memory core." Captain Anderson stepped forward. "We believe the conduit is the key to bringing them back, and Saren is searching for it. That's why he attacked Eden Prime."  
>"Do we even know what this conduit is?"<br>Shepard stepped up next to the Captain.  
>"Saren thinks it can bring back the Reapers. That's bad enough."<br>"Listen to what you are saying!" Disbelief dripped from the voice of the Turian councilor. "Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible. It has to be! Where did the reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we found no trace of their existence? If they were real, we would have found something." He crossed his arms and stared at them smugly.  
>"I tried to warn you about Saren and you refused to face the truth." Shepard sounded agitated, her tone getting dangerously close to disrespectful. "Don't make the same mistake again."<p>

As Shepard argued with the council about the legitimacy of her vision and the reality of the Reapers, Kaidan fought the urge to reach out for her. All he wanted to do was grab her by the arm and pull her back from the edge she was coming close to, both figuratively and literally. It was a long drop from the ledge they were on to the floor below.  
>He admired her skills in combat, and her ability to keep cool under fire, but Shepard was in no way cut out to be a diplomat. She was so agitated her hands were twitching. Eventually she was going to say something that would get them all court martialed just for being there.<br>"Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life. He no longer has the rights and resources of a Spectre, and the council has stripped him of his position." They all watched the Turian Councilor enter a few keystrokes onto the panel in front of him, ending the career of Saren.  
>Udina burst past Shepard and the Captain, teetering for a slight moment on the very edge of the platform.<br>"That is not good enough! You know he is hiding somewhere in the Traverse! Send your fleet in!" His face had gone red and veiny, as he shook his fist at them. Anderson silently tugged the Counselor's sleeve, forcing him to walk back several steps, away from the edge.  
>"A fleet cannot track down one man."<br>"A Citadel fleet could secure the entire region, keep the Geth from attacking any more of our colonies!"  
>"Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus systems! We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies."<br>Shepard's twitching hands balled themselves into fists, and the urge to grab her returned. Kaidan had to physically shake the idea out of his head. The callous words of the Council hurt him as well, but he had to keep his emotionless soldier face on. Shepard must have had the same thought. She shook out her hands, and addressed the Council. As she turned towards them, he saw on her face the same hardness she wore when Jenkins died.  
>"Every time Humanity asks for help you ignore us."<br>"Shepard is right." Udina gave her a nod. "I'm sick of this council and it's anti human bull-"  
>"Ambassador!" The Asari interrupted. "There is another solution. A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets or armies." She glanced knowingly at the Turian Councilor, who loudly protested it was too soon.<br>_They're going to ask her to become a Spectre._  
>His mind raced. She has the combat and technical skills, and she seems to do well with people on a basic level. But can she handle the diplomatic situations that the rank entails?<br>_Is she going to leave?_  
>"This way, you don't have to send a fleet into the traverse, and the Ambassador gets his human Spectre." She clasped her hands behind her back, the slight tremor gave away her nervousness, but only to Kaidan, who was watching for it. "Everyone is happy."<br>Nodding at each other, the three Councilors all reached forward and entered a code onto their respective terminals. The Asari instructed Shepard to step forward.

The ceremony was brief, a practiced speech given by the Council, more to the watching crowd then to Shepard herself. They spoke of the role and honor of being a Spectre, and of how she had the privilege of being the first human granted the title. The Turian Councilor looked and sounded less than happy, but there was nothing he could do at this point.  
>After the ceremony was over, the Salarian was the first to speak free, unritualistic words.<br>"We are sending you into the traverse after Saren. He's a fugitive from justice, so you are authorized to use any means necessary to apprehend him."  
>"I will find him."<br>The council meeting adjourned, and Captain Anderson reached out his hand to Shepard.  
>"Congratulations-"<br>"Anderson! Come with me!" The Chancellor stepped in between them. "We have things to set up." He hurried the Captain off down the stairs.  
>The minute they were out of sight, Shepard's knees seemed to give way. Without even thinking, Kaidan rushed up and grabbed her by the arms, supporting her against his hip. She froze for a moment, and then recovered herself.<br>"Thank you, Lieutenant. Politics will be the death of me." She flashed him a grin, and then pushed herself off him, steadying her feet. "Right. Let's head back to C-Sec and the ship and get everything all sorted and ready to go." As she turned to lead the group towards the rapid transit, he caught sight of a strange redness on her face. _Was she blushing? _She must be embarrassed that we all saw that moment of weakness.

When they reached C-Sec, Garrus cleared his throat expectantly.  
>"Commander. My main task here was to prove Saren guilty. I don't feel as thought the job is quite done. And you are taking the young Quarian on as crew..." His voice trailed off, the awkwardness of the question clear on his alien face.<br>"Go file whatever paperwork you need." Shepard clasped a hand on the Turian's shoulder, as Kaidan had done to Tali. "You are welcome to join the chase with us. We will wait here for you." Garrus nodded gratefully, and strode off towards the offices.

Several ground shaking thuds behind them announced the presence of a new visitor. The squad turned to face a large Krogan, easily a foot taller than Kaidan.  
>"I heard you took care of Fist." He growled.<br>"You must be the bounty hunter the Shadow Broker sent." Kaidan was impressed Shepard remembered. He had dismissed that conversation several hours ago.  
>"Yes. I hear you are going after Saren."<br>"You hear lots of things."  
>"I want to come with you. I'd like to see how you operate, one professional to another."<br>"Well, we are going to need all the help we can get on this one. Welcome aboard." Shepard and the Krogan, called Wrex, clasped hands, and he joined the strange party hanging around the elevators. Shepard turned to Kaidan and smiled. "Well, we aren't really going for stealth anymore, are we?"

_Williams is going to have kittens. _It was almost funny. She had retreated to the all-human sanctuary of the Normandy, and now they were bringing not only the Turian, but also a Krogan and a Quarian. He almost felt sorry for her. Almost. He was still amusing himself imagining her freak-out when Garrus returned, and they boarded the elevator.

All levity left him when they reached the spaceport. Udina and Anderson were arguing outside the airlock of the Normandy. As they approached, Udina turned away from the fight, and addressed Shepard.  
>"I've got big news for you, Shepard. Captain Anderson is stepping down as the commanding officer of the Normandy." It took every ounce of military training for Kaidan's jaw not to hit the floor. They were sending the Captain to desk duty? Who was going to run the ship? "The ship is yours now."<br>"W-What?" Shepard seemed as shocked as Kaidan. "Why is he stepping down? I want the truth."  
>"You need your own ship. A Spectre can't answer to anyone but the council."<br>"It's time for me to step down, Commander." Anderson held her gaze. "Stop Saren from reaching the Conduit, and we stop the Reapers. We have a few colonies that have stop responding, check into them and see if you can find any clues with them."  
>"We do have one other lead." Udina passed over a data pad. "Matriarch Benezia. She has a daughter, a scientist who specializes in the Protheans. We don't know yet if she is involved, but it might be a good idea to try and find her. See what she knows. All the information is here."<br>"I'll be here if you need anything, but you should head out." Anderson gestured towards the airlock, and gave a half smile. "Keep Joker in line."  
>Shepard nodded, and lead the now very multi ethnic squad onto the airlock. As the ship decontaminated them, she instructed the three new crewmembers on their posts and sleeping areas. They entered the bridge to find a flustered pilot, twisted in his chair to see what all the noise was about.<br>"Captain Anderson won't be joining us, the ship is mine, get us out of here." Shepard rattled off her orders without even looking at Joker. Kaidan turned toward his friend and mouthed, "I'll be back soon." The slight delay put him a few steps behind the new aliens, and he was astounded by the reactions of the crew. The Earthborn and new to space crewmembers stared outright, especially at Garrus and Wrex, while the veteran Alliance soldiers didn't even bat an eye. The exception, as he expected, was Williams. He found her at the bottom of the stairs, a dumbfounded expression on her face.  
>"Chief." He said softly, "Your mouth is open." She shut her mouth and turned towards him, her eyes still wide. "Look, I need some rack time. Give me an hour and then meet me on the bridge. I need to fill Joker in anyway." She nodded, and he headed gratefully towards the sleeper pods.<br>As the door closed and sleep washed over him, a half formed thought of files and records fought its way out of the back of his mind. Rahna. He was going to ask about Rahna. But now there were bigger fish to fry. There was a mission. He tried to think of silvery hair and a musical laugh as he drifted off, but the last thought he had before sleep took him was of mousy brown hair and an angry blush.

(A/N ugh. Sorry about the info dump chapter, but I had to get them off the citadel, get the crew, and get the Spectre status. Now we can head off into space and get a bit more creative with what is going on. Bear with me.)


	4. Chapter 4

(A/N finally off the Citadel! Now I can get to the parts of the game that actually inspired me to write this. I started another play through, and have been taking notes, so the next few chapters will come a lot faster.)

CHAPTER 4

"_Why are you shutting me out? Have you given up on me?" Kaidan was not sure where he was, this brightly lit and sterile hallway seemed familiar, but any name he had for it escaped him. He turned to find the source of the voice, and saw Rahna at the end of the long hall, arms folded across her chest. She hadn't aged a day, and still wore the last thing he had seen her in. Her grey BAaT issued jumpsuit somehow brought out the blue in her eyes, but they were more piercing than he remembered them ever being. "Its that Commander woman, isn't it. I see the way you look at her. Have you forgotten about me?" _

"_I can never forget you." He strode towards her, feeling any trace of confidence slip away. "I can never forget what I did. It was all to protect you. I'm not so impulsive now. I swear I'm a better man!" As he walked the hallway, open doors on either side showed scenes from his life, the first time his biotics had flared up, the first time he had made something move. The day the government men came to take him away. Life in the BAaT dorms, Rahna… _

_He was so close to her now, only a few more yards. Suddenly, the wall to his left twitched, and a door appeared where only blank wall had been. Unlike the other doors, __this didn't resemble the doors at his childhood home, or the BAaT facility. It was the airlock to the Normandy. Stopping to peer inside, he saw the friends he had made at boot camp, the officers of his first assignment, The Normandy crew, Joker, Ashley, Tali, Wrex, and Garrus. As he stared, the crowd shifted, and through the sea of faces he saw Shepard. She leaned against the wall in the back, that sly smile on her face. There was just something about that smile that pulled him in like a magnet. He walked through the door, and barely heard it hiss close and lock. He did, however, hear the scream of annoyance and the frantic pounding behind him. _

Kaidan awoke with a start, confused that the pounding noise continued. The thin face of Gunnery Chief Williams glared at him through the tiny window of the sleeping pod.  
>"It's been over an hour!" She wrenched the door open. "Shepard won't come out of her new office, and Joker and I are dying out here!"<br>He stumbled out onto the deck. Williams grabbed him by the arm to steady him, and then dragged him towards the stairs. "Come on, LT!"  
>He followed her up to the bow, and settled himself into a seat. Looking out the small porthole, he was surprised to see stars, not the docking bay of the Citadel.<br>"Wait, if the Commander is holed up in her office, what exactly are we doing?"  
>"Umm…" Joker looked guilty. "Loitering around a mass relay? Look, she didn't exactly give any instructions beyond 'get us out of here', and the last time I went 'gallivanting off' there was serious hell to pay later."<br>"Enough stalling!" Ashley settled herself on the armrest of his chair. "What the hell happened after I left? How did we end up running a damn embassy on this ship? All we're missing is an Asari and a Salarian to complete the set!"  
>"Funny you mention that, but we're off to pick up an Asari scientist." The look the Chief gave him was of complete and utter disbelief. "I don't think there were any Salarians mentioned though. "<br>"Start. At. The. Beginning."  
>Kaidan filled them in as best as he could, but when he got to Saren's message about Eden Prime, Ashley went ballistic.<br>"I want to nail that bastard so badly." She threw her hands into the air in frustration. "My entire squad dies, and he calls it a success. Turian bastard."  
>She sat silently for the rest of the informal briefing, except for the little hissing noise she made every time Saren was mentioned.<br>Finally, the story came to an end.  
>"Seriously, man?" Joker was stunned. "Rogue agents, gun fights, alien babes," He purposely ignored the glare from Ashley, "now Shepard is a Spectre and we are off on a secret mission. There are days I really love this job."<br>"I'm going to remember you said that." They all jumped as the Commander appeared behind them. "Thanks for filling them in, Alenko, I needed the time to figure out a plan." She cracked her knuckles, and put a hand on Joker's shoulder. "Can you give me the intercom? I want to talk to the whole crew."  
>"No problem, Commander. And just so you know, everyone on this ship is already behind you one hundred percent. Okay, the intercom is open."<p>

Shepard took a deep breath, leaned forward and grinned nervously.  
>"This is Commander Shepard speaking. We have our mission, find Saren before he finds the conduit. I won't lie to you, this mission is not going to be easy." Kaidan felt pressure on his ribs, Williams was nudging him and gesturing with her head towards the back of the ship. Practically the entire crew, including their new alien allies, had gathered in the CIC to stare at them. "For too long our species has stood apart from the others. Now its time for us to step up and do our part for the rest of the galaxy, time to show them what Humans are made of. " Shepard took in a deep breath and glanced over at Kaidan. He gave her an encouraging smile and a nod, and she released the breath. "Our Enemy knows we are coming. When we go into the Traverse, Saren's followers will be waiting for us. But we'll be ready for them too. Humanity needs to do this. Not just for our own sake, but the sake of every other species in Citadel space. Saren must be stopped, and I promise you all, we will stop him."<br>She leaned back and gave Joker the 'cut it' signal.  
>"Well said, Commander." The pilot looked up at her. "The Captain would be proud."<br>"The Captain gave up everything so I could have this chance. We can't fail."  
>They watched her walk back towards the CIC, and enter into a deep and heated conversation with Navigator Pressly.<p>

"We should have a destination in a few minutes." Joker stretched his arms over his head. "Pressly won't like this mission, but she outranks him, and he can't live in a world without proper protocol."  
>"Speaking of protocol, what was that little moment there?" Ashley nudged Kaidan in the ribs again. "Did something else happen on the Citadel? Something you left out of your story?"<br>"Wait, what? Something happened on the Citadel with the Commander? Why don't I know about this?" Joker was all ears.  
>"I'm pretty sure the LT is sweet on the Commander." Ashley grinned at him, her wide mouth giving her an off-putting, clownish appearance. <em>Its nothing like Shepard's smile, it has none of the warmth.<em>  
>He stood up rapidly, forcing her to jump up as well.<br>"Its nothing. There's nothing. Besides, if there was anything, it would be against protocol, and none of your business."  
>The Chief and the Pilot exchanged a glance, and then burst out laughing.<br>"I'm sorry, man, but that was the most guilty sounding thing I have ever heard. Dammit, ouch, I need to stop laughing or I'm going to crack a rib. No, seriously."  
>Anything Williams was going to say to him was cut off a loud beep from the Pilot's console, followed by the Commander's voice.<br>"What are you three doing up there? I can hear you laughing all the way back in the CIC!"  
>Kaidan felt his face go red; Ashley had to slap her hands over her mouth to muffle her laughter. Joker cleared his throat.<br>"Um, the Lieutenant was telling a joke, Ma'am."  
>"Riiiight. Anyway, its time for you to do some work. We're heading to the Knossos system in the Artimis Tau cluster, the planet Therum. Give me a heads up when we enter the system; we need to be closer to the planet to find our landing zone. Alenko and Williams, you two are going with me, so hang out in the mess until I give the signal to suit up. Stay out of trouble until then, if you can manage it."<br>Another beep signaled the end of the conversation, Kaidan glared at Williams and strode off towards the mess. That girl was too clever for her own good. He stomped down the stairs, collapsed into a chair at the mess table and buried his face in his hands.

The sound of soft footsteps and the scraping noise of a chair being pulled out filled him with doom. It was Shepard, he knew it, she had heard everything and was either going to court-martial him or laugh his ass back to Alliance Command for reassignment.  
>"I'm sorry if I crossed a line back there, LT." Ashley looked at him with a worried expression. "Although I'm pretty sure you won't be reporting me to the Commander. Its just funny, the way you act around her, it's like the boys back home trying to talk to my sisters. Attracted, nervous, and terrified. "<br>Kaidan had to smile at that.  
>"People are terrified of your sisters?"<br>"More of me. We're a military family, through and through, and Dad was gone a lot. I watched out for the girls most of the time while Mom worked." She stared off into the distance for a few moments, and then refocused on him. "Since we are having a few minutes off the record, Alenko, do you mind if I ask what's really going on in that head of yours?"  
>"Let me ask you a question first. It's only fair, seeing as we are toeing the line here. "<br>Ashley thought on it for a moment, and thrust her hand across the table.  
>"Deal." They shook on it.<br>"So you're from a military family, I'm guessing farther back than your father."  
>"Was that your question?"<br>"Don't get smart. Also, you have an inherent dislike of aliens, and Turians really seem to piss you off. Right. I'll take that glare as a yes. It's the perfect time for my actual question. How are you related to General Williams?"  
>She went pale, staring at him with wide eyes.<br>"How-"  
>"I may be pretty, but I'm not dumb, Chief. And I'm just as observant as you are." He smiled at her, in the hopes it would ease the situation. It seemed to work, the color started to return to her face, and she relaxed her shoulders.<br>"He was my grandfather."  
>Kaidan leaned back in his chair and stretched out his arms. Everything made sense now. Being the first human to surrender to the Turians must have trashed the family name, and seeded a deep hatred in the Williams clan for aliens in general.<br>"If it means anything to you, Williams, I think you're a credit to the Marines. I'm glad we picked you up on Eden Prime."  
>"Thanks, LT. It's nice to have the support of my commanding officers. And now, it's my turn to play Alliance Psych Exam." She leaned her elbows on the table, and rested her chin on her hands. "What is the deal with you and the Commander? Like I said earlier, you act like a nervous schoolboy around her. But there is something else in that head of yours, something besides regulations. You leave a girl back home? Or are a few dozen unofficial little Alenko children running around the galaxy?"<br>"What? No! I mean there is a girl… was a girl. Rahna. She was a friend from biotic training. We were close, and then… I was trying to protect her, and ended up terrifying her. "  
>"What did you do?"<br>"It doesn't really matter. The point is I've been trying to track her down. I feel like I have to show her I've become a better man, prove that I can protect her from the galaxy."  
>Ashley absentmindedly scratched her nose.<br>"Damn, LT. How long ago was that?"  
>"About 14 years."<br>"Don't you think its time you let it go?"  
>"Huh. You're one to talk!"<br>"Its so not the same thing! Anyway, I seriously think you should let go of this girl. I mean, who knows what has happened to her? She's probably gone back to Earth, or a colony somewhere. Probably married with a family. Do you really think she has been sitting around waiting for you? She's had a life to live, just like you have."  
>Kaidan was stunned. It was a thought that had been crossing his mind recently, but hearing someone else say it just felt so odd. Was he really that stupid to think she hadn't changed in all this time? Williams cleared her throat and continued.<br>"You know, I wouldn't worry too much about protocol with Shepard. The way this mission is going, we are all going to be blacklisted by the Council, or be big damn heroes. I think fraternization is going to be the least of our problems."  
>"I just need to stop making an ass of myself in front of her. She's going to think I'm incompetent."<br>"I don't know, I bet she likes it." She gave him that creepy grin again.  
>"She can't like it! She's a Commander!"<br>"She's also a woman. She's really only a few years older than I am. " Kaidan looked at her quizzically. "25, LT. I'm 25. Anyway, we don't stop being people once we become Marines. You should know that. Just because she's the commanding officer of an Alliance ship, and a Spectre on a secret mission, doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings."  
>"How do you know all this? Are you actually from the Psyche Exam team?"<br>"Hasn't she come around and talked to you yet? No? Well, we had some girl time down in the armory earlier."  
>Kaidan was about to make a smart comment about braiding hair when the sound of footsteps halted their conversation. Garrus came around the corner at the bottom of the stairs and started over towards them.<br>"Ah, Lieutenant. I was hoping to find you here."  
>"Don't mind me, I was just leaving!" Ashley stood up so fast her chair rocked back. "LT. Don't. Say. Anything." She took off towards the elevator, and a few moments later its gentle hum signaled her departure.<p>

Garrus sat in her vacated chair.  
>"You don't have to say anything, Alenko. I heard it all." The Turian's face was still unreadable to Kaidan, but he thought he heard amusement in the alien's voice. "She is right, though. You do need to learn to let go."<br>His face burned. Did the entire ship know about his stupid crush on Shepard?  
>"Oh, your face is all red. That's anger, right? I'm still working on figuring out your faces. Was that out of line?"<br>"I'm not angry, Garrus. We'll not with you. I'm angry with myself for getting into this situation."  
>"Ah. Embarrassment. Your human faces are so, squishy looking. You're like the opposite of the Elcor. They show nothing on their faces, and have to tell everyone what they are feeling. You show so much on your face, it's hard to know which emotion out of thousands you are feeling. I thought I was doing well, Asari faces are so similar to yours."<br>"But blue."  
>"Exactly! This whole color change thing you do… total mystery."<br>Kaidan had to laugh at that. He had never really thought of the problems humans posed to the other Council races. They had had thousands of years to figure each other out, whereas humans had only shown up in the last 30 years.  
>"Why were you eavesdropping on us?"<br>"To be honest, I was more interested in Williams and her issues than yours. I was coming down the stairs, and you just happened to be asking the very question that was on my mind." He sighed, the small gill-like fringes on his face fluttering slightly. "I don't blame her for her hostility. The whole incident at Shanxi was a disaster. I hope that our presence on this ship helps her out of that attitude though." He looked thoughtful, or so Kaidan assumed. "If she mouths off to Wrex, the Krogan is likely to eat her."

They chatted for the next few hours, Kaidan telling him about growing up in Singapore, moving to Vancouver, and essentially being abducted to BAat but the government. He found the Turian incredibly easy to talk to, and found himself telling stories he hadn't thought about in years. Garrus reciprocated with tales of his home world, Palaven, and his family there.  
>"Shepard reminds me of my little sister, Solana. She doesn't let me get away with anything, but she is funny as hell. I must never let the two meet. I think the galaxy would implode on itself."<br>"I bet Shepard would love to know she has a Turian doppelganger."  
>They laughed heartily about that for several minutes, interrupted only by the sound of Shepard over the intercom.<br>"Alenko and Williams! Suit up and meet me on the flight deck in ten minutes! We are heading down to the surface!"

Leaving Garrus at the mess table, Kaidan took the elevator down to the flight deck and headed over to his locker. He went through his routine of settling into the armor and securing all of pieces. Once that was done, he started releasing small amounts of biotic energy, checking to make sure there was no stress on his implant. Finally, he reached back into the locker for his pistol. It was gone. Frantically, he tore through the few items left, it was a futile search, and he could plainly see it wasn't there, but it had to be! Hands on his head, he spun around to see Shepard walking towards him, hands behind her back.  
>"Alenko, I noticed that when you aren't using your biotics, you really only use your pistol." She stopped a few feet away from him. "I also noticed that your pistol was pretty old. This is for you, if you want it." She stretched her hand to him, holding one of the nicest sidearms he had ever seen. "I bought this six months ago, and it's fully upgraded. With the Spectre status came a nice new shiny one, but I couldn't bear to sell this. It's got some mods on it, but I think it will work nicely for you."<br>He reached out gingerly, and took it from her, the weight was nice, and he could see the how the modifications would give him a much better accuracy than his old sidearm.  
>"T-thank you, Commander." He managed to stutter out. "I don't know what to say."<br>"Don't say anything. Just take down some extra Geth for me." She stretched her shoulders out, and then jerked her head backwards. "Right, time to join Williams in the Mako. Lets go, Lieutenant." She jogged across the flight deck to the large vehicle in the corner.  
>Oh hell. He hated the transports. They were cramped and had the very little shock protection. He climbed up the side, and slide into the hatch on the top.<br>"Hey there, LT! Its time to play Marine Sardines!" Williams was obviously pleased with herself and her rhyme. She had strapped herself in at the gun controls. Shepard was crawling over a small barrier into the drivers seat. Kaidan looked away hurriedly, and made eye contact with Ashley, who snickered quietly.  
>"Alenko, the visibility in here sucks, so I want you on the radar. You are going to be our eyes, okay?"<br>"Aye, aye, Ma'am." He settled into the radar station and began strapping himself in. "How long till we land?"  
>"We aren't landing the Normandy." Kaidan and Williams shared a nervous glace.<br>"Wait, what?"  
>"We picked up some Geth activity on the surface, a full landing would put the ship in too vulnerable of a position. Joker is going to drop down as low as he can, and we are going to drive off the ship."<br>Oh hell.  
>"Um, Commander? I just remembered there was a lot of really important and um, time sensitive paperwork I needed to file." Williams looked terrified.<br>"Nice try, Chief, but I've already sealed the hatch." Shepard twisted in her seat to look back at them. "Its only a few hundred feet to the ground, we have thrusters, and I'm an excellent driver!" She grinned at them wickedly. "This is going to be fun!"  
>There was a loud rush of noise as the ship bay door opened. Shepard pressed a few buttons and the Mako's engine roared to life.<br>The last thing he remembered before the feeling of terror and weightlessness was the small voice of Ashley from behind him.  
>"Oh god, we are all going to die."<p>

(A/N just one quick thing. I adore Garrus. If I weren't so damn attached to Kaidan, I'd have switched to him for ME2 romance. But I love the thought of the boys palling around. Essentially I see the two of them as starring in their own strange buddy cop movie. )


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

The horrible squealing noise and bone rattling vibrations had finally stopped. Kaidan sat in the dark, head clutched tight in his hands. He was pinned to the wall, unable to move in the darkness. As he was trying to pull himself together, a low guttural noise from nearby sent him into a panic. _What the hell was that? Was there an animal in here? _He reached around wildly, trying to tear himself free of whatever had him contained. Just as his distress was reaching a critical level, a light shone out in the darkness.  
>"Everyone alright back there?" The light shone in his face, and then moved past him. "Oh hell, everyone's bleeding. Hang on guys." The light went away, and there was some muffled cursing and thumping. A few seconds later, dim lights began to flicker on. He tried to focus on the blurry shape of Commander Shepard crawling over the front seat; his eyes followed her through the small cabin as she moved towards an equally fuzzy Ashley Williams.<br>"I'm fine, Commander." He heard the Chief say, though it sounded like she was underwater. "Its just a nosebleed from when we lost pressure. It happens every time I break atmosphere in a small craft." She groaned loudly, and Kaidan realized that she was responsible for the sound that had sent him scrambling earlier. "Damn, you better check out Alenko, his head looks bad."  
>Shepard made her way back to him, pulling a gauze pad out of her first aid kit. She reached up and placed it against his forehead with her right hand, while cradling his face with her left. He closed his eyes as he felt the sting of medigel.<br>"Hopefully this pressure will stop the bleeding, it didn't seem to be a deep cut." He was suddenly more aware of her hand than he had ever been of anything in his life. He was also very aware that he was practically rubbing up against it like a cat. He opened his eyes to look at her worried face, and gave her a smile.  
>"Hey, you."<br>Her eyes went wide; a look of shock and confusion crossed her face.  
>"I, um, do you think he has a concussion?" She whipped around to face Williams, her hands flying off his face so fast he pitched forward a few inches.<br>"Nah." The tissue in her nose slightly muffled the chief's voice. "He's just tilt-silly. Give him a moment for his eyes to refocus, and don't touch him."  
>Kaidan glared at her, but felt the world start to come back into sharp focus. <em>Oh. That was almost incredibly embarrassing. <em>  
>"What the hell just happened, Commander?"<br>She looked at him guiltily.  
>"The drop itself went fine. We broke atmosphere at a reasonable speed-" Ashley snorted, sending her bloody tissue flying. Shepard stared at her with disgust. "Wow. That was gross. I really hope you plan on picking that up, Chief." Grumbling quietly, Williams unbuckled herself from her seat and reached towards the tissue. Shepard shook her head and continued. "There was only one problem. When you leave a ship at high velocity, it is rather difficult to change directions in midair. So… we hit a rock."<br>"A rock?"  
>"Ok, a mountain. But we are in our target drop zone, so that's a plus." She ran her hands through her short hair. "Okay, I'm going to restart the rest of the systems up front. You two get yours up and running once I start the engine. We are going to get off this mountain in about five minutes."<p>

She clambered back over the front seat, and strapped herself in. The engine kicked on a few minutes later, followed shortly by the radar screen in front of Kaidan. He thumped it with his fist a few times to make sure it was working.  
>"Are systems are go!" Shepard yelled back to them. "Dammit, when we get back to the Normandy, I am getting this thing outfitted with headsets. I will not spend this entire mission screaming like a fishwife. Alenko, anything showing up on the radar?" <em>Fishwife?<em>  
>"Nothing, Commander. I don't see the Geth Joker was talking about. Although the range on this isn't very far…"<br>"Well, we will just have to see. Moving out!"

Shepard awkwardly maneuvered the Mako down the side of the mountain towards what appeared to be a road.  
>"Apparently this was an old mining facility." Kaidan double-checked the information on his screen. "Abandoned due to volcanic activity."<br>"Well, this road should take us to the dig site then, and we can stay out of the volcanoes."  
>No one spoke for the next few minutes, the silence only broken by muffled sniffling from Williams. Kaidan was about to offer her another tissue when Joker's voice crackled over the radio.<br>"Commander, I'm picking up some strange readings, really strange, like off the damn charts. It looks like it's coming from an underground complex a few clicks away from the drop zone."  
>"I bet that's our Asari scientist. Good to know we heading in the right direction."<br>The narrow road wound them through lava fields, Kaidan and Ashley stayed quiet, not wanting to distract Shepard from her driving. _If you could call it that. _Though as they reached the top of a small hill, a soft beeping noise filled the cabin. Kaidan checked the radar screen.  
>"Commander, we have incoming!"<br>The squad stared in horror out their respective portholes as a Geth drop ship flew in low and released it cargo. Two large, animalistic Geth hit the ground, and then started walking towards them.  
>"What the hell are those?"<br>"I don't care what they are, Chief!" Shepard yelled. "I just want you to shoot them!"  
>The Mako rushed towards them, Ashley letting loose with a volley of missiles while Shepard navigated around the return fire. Once the two creatures were destroyed, they pulled up along side them and stopped. The marines peered out again through the small portholes.<br>"Damn…" Ashley whistled. "I would hate to fight one of those on foot."  
>"Yeah. Alenko, thanks for the heads up. Let us know if any more of those things show up."<br>They drove carefully across the rough terrain, stopping every few minutes for Kaidan to check the navigation. Finally, they reached the end of the road. A rock fall had blocked the path; the Mako could go no further.  
>"We are approximately 300 yards away from our target, Commander. We could trek in on foot, and return to the Mako once we have the Asari."<br>Shepard unbuckled, and scurried over the seat to join him. He traced the route on the screen with his finger.  
>"Sounds like a plan." She reached forward to grab her helmet. "Gear up, we are heading outside!"<p>

The heat was incredible. Even with the protection of his hard suit, Kaidan could still feel it radiating through to his skin.  
>"Dammit, Commander, it is hot out here!"<br>"Well, Chief, lava planets tends to be hot."  
>Kaidan rolled his eyes, and followed the others up the embankment through the rocks. As they made their way closer to the dig site, the lack of resistance sent of feeling of unease down his spine. If they aren't patrolling in small numbers, they must be clustered somewhere.<br>His apprehensions were realized when they rounded a corner and looked down onto a squad of approximately 15 Geth troopers.  
>"That won't be a problem at all, Commander!" Ashley swapped out her assault rifle for her shotgun. "We can take that group out no-"<br>She stopped, looking confusedly at the red dot that had appeared on her chest. She twitched sideways, just as the rock behind her head exploded. "Ohshittheyhaveasniper!"  
>They dove for the safely of a large boulder, collapsing in a heap behind it.<br>"Williams! You alright?"  
>"I'm fine, LT." She pulled herself into a sitting position. "Damn, that throws a wrench into things."<br>Shepard peered cautiously around the side of their cover.  
>"Ok, I think a few of them have spotted us. Williams, I want you to blast any that get too close, I'm going to try and take out that sniper."<br>"Commander, that looked like an armor piercing round. If he hits you, you don't stand a chance!" Williams had crawled over next to Shepard, shotgun at the ready.  
>"I know a way to boost your shield." She looked at him, eyes barely visible through her helmet. "It is, unorthodox, though."<br>"Well, the last time I saw you do something unorthodox, Alenko, it ended up being a great help. Tell me what I need to do."  
>"Just get ready to stand up and take your shot, I'll do the rest."<br>"You'd better hurry!" Ashley hissed at them. "They're getting closer!"

He nodded at Shepard, and they stood up together, her sniper rifle swinging into position. The minute they were clear of the boulder, he threw his arms around her and sent up his biotic shield. The electric blue glow washed over them, rippling over her heart where it deflected the bullet that should have killed her. She pressed up against him, steadying herself as she took her shot. A mechanical squeal followed by metallic crunching signaled her success, the sniper was hit and falling out of its nest.  
>Kaidan brought his shield down; and leaned his head against the rock wall next to them. Williams was replacing her shotgun, the Geth squad dead at her feet.<br>Shepard turned her head to stare at him.  
>"Is that what biotic power feels like?" He nodded, and then realized he was still holding her. Coughing awkwardly, he let go, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, it worked, your unorthodox ideas are really starting to come in handy, Lieutenant."<br>He nodded again. He was incredibly grateful his helmet only showed his eyes, his whole body felt like it was on fire.

They picked their way over the dead Geth, and made their way to the main mining facility. It was as abandoned as the rest of the camp, but a loud rumbling sound foretold it would not stay that way for long.  
>"Its that damn drop ship!" William yelled, pointing up as it swooped in behind them. It dropped a few Geth troopers, and one of the large, animalistic ones.<br>"Chief! Take out the small ones!" Shepard reached for her assault rifle. "Alenko and I will focus on the big guy!"  
>She burst out of cover, firing intensely at the creature. Kaidan reached out for it with all of his power. It was too large as a whole to pick up, but if he could try and get a leg off the ground to knock it off balance… The creature pitched forward, and Shepard shot it in the head until it stopped moving. As Ashley sounded the all clear, he turned to face her.<br>"You just had to jinx it earlier, didn't you?"  
>She shrugged.<br>"It didn't seem to give you guys too much trouble."  
>Shepard ignored their bickering, and walked towards the entrance of the mine.<br>"Right. Down we go!"

They made their way down a long tunnel, stepping over discarded equipment and loose rocks. When the tunnel ended, they found themselves in a large cavern, one wall of which was completely covered by a glowing blue field. Walking gingerly on the creaking scaffolding, they shut themselves into a rusting elevator.  
>"Hey, LT, dare you to spit over the side!"<br>"Classy as ever, Chief."  
>The elevator made it halfway down before it gave up on them and squealed to a halt.<br>"Looks like we are climbing the rest of the way!" Shepard swung herself between the bars, and clambered down to the next level. As they followed, a voice called out of the darkness.  
>"Um… hello? Is someone there? I'm trapped and I need help!" Jogging down a flight of stairs, they turned a corner and found the source of the pleas. An Asari was trapped behind the force field, suspended in a glowing ball. "Can you hear me?"<br>Shepard flipped up her visor and stepped towards the barrier.  
>"We can hear you. Are you Dr. T'soni?"<br>"Thank the Goddess! I did not think anyone would come looking for me!" She moved her head around to indicate her bubble. "This thing I'm in… It's a Prothean security device. I cannot move, so I need you to get me out of it. All right?"  
>"How did you get trapped in there?"<br>"I was exploring the ruins when the Geth showed up. So I hid in here. Can you believe that? Geth! Behind the veil!"  
>Ashley snorted.<br>"You have no idea."  
>The Asari looked confused for a moment, and then continued.<br>"I activated the tower's defenses. I knew the barrier curtains would keep them out. When I turned it on, I must have hit something I wasn't supposed to. I was trapped in here. You must get me out! Please!"  
>"Don't worry." Shepard held up her hand. "We'll find some way to help you."<br>"There is a control in here that should deactivate this thing. You'll have to find a way past the barrier curtain. That's the tricky part. The defenses cannot be shut off from the outside. I don't know how you'll get in here." She looked down. "Be careful. There is a Krogan with the Geth. They have been trying different ways to get past the barrier."  
>Biting her lip, the Commander turned to Kaidan and Ashley.<br>"Any ideas, guys? Alenko? Anything… unorthodox coming to mind?"  
>"Maybe there is a control panel in the cavern. Or some old mining equipment we could use."<br>"Good idea. Let's check around. Keep your eyes peeled for that Krogan, too."  
>Down another flight of stairs they went, leaving the anxious Asari in her glowing prison. At the bottom, they split up to better explore the large cave.<br>"Hey, Commander! I think I found a mining laser!"  
>Kaidan and Shepard jogged over to where Ashley stood; he knelt down to inspect the console.<br>"It seems to need a code, if you give me a few minutes, I can analyze-"  
>Shepard reached down and randomly mashed the buttons. The laser started up with a roar, punching a hole in the rock wall below the barrier, then shut itself off. She grinned triumphantly.<br>"Or you could just do that."

They walked through the newly made hole and used a small lift to arrive behind the trapped doctor. She turned as far as she could to try and see them.  
>"How… how did you get in here? I didn't think there was any way past the barrier!"<br>"Um, not important." Shepard looked guilty. "We have to get you out of here before more Geth arrive."  
>"Yes, you're right. I've seen enough of them to last a lifetime. That button should shut down my containment field."<br>Ashley jumped up next to the Commander.  
>"Wait! Are you sure she is on our side? Her mother's working with Saren!"<br>Dr. T'soni twitched.  
>"I am not my mother! I don't even- I don't know why Benezia joined Saren! I don't want anything to do with that Turian Bastard!"<br>Shepard shot Williams an is-that-good-enough-for-you look.  
>"If she was with Saren, the Geth wouldn't be trying to kill her." She walked over and pressed the button on the ancient panel. Kaidan felt himself wince, just in case she decided to use the button mashing technique from earlier. Thankfully, the force field around the Asari released without incident.<br>As she picked herself up off the floor, Kaidan walked over to Shepard.  
>"Any idea how we get out of this place?"<br>"There is an elevator back in the center of the tower." Dr. T'soni joined them over by the console. "At least, I think it's an elevator. It should take us out of here. Come on!"  
>She led the way back to the small lift they had used earlier.<br>"I still cannot believe all this. Why would the Geth come after me? Do you think Benezia's involved?"  
>"Saren's looking for the conduit." Kaidan helped her step up onto the platform. "You're a Prothean expert. He probably wants you to help him find it."<br>"The conduit? But I don't know-"  
>She was interrupted but a loud crumbing noise from the main cavern.<br>"What the hell was that?" Ashley yelled, looking around nervously.  
>"These ruins aren't stable. That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event."<br>They all looked at Shepard, who shrugged.  
>"I'm sorry. Did you want me to put you back into the glowing ball of paralysis?"<br>"We have to hurry, the whole place is caving in!"  
>Shepard clicked on her wireless.<br>"Joker! What's going on out there?"  
>"Just picking up the Mako, Commander, what do you need?"<br>"Get the Normandy airborne and lock in on my signal. On the double, mister!"  
>"Aye, aye! Secure and aweigh, ETA eight minutes."<br>Kaidan grimaced.  
>"Not much margin for error."<br>Shepard punched the lift controls, and they rocketed towards the top of the mine. Reaching the apex, Williams gave a sigh.  
>"And there's the damn Krogan."<br>The heavily armored alien stomped towards them, flanked by three Geth.  
>"Surrender." He snarled at them. "Or don't. That would be more fun."<br>The squad scattered as he charged towards them. Kaidan dragged the Asari scientist behind a pillar, while Ashley took off chasing the Geth. Shepard held her ground, blasting away with her assault rifle, and then stepping aside nimbly to let her attacker pass. It took him several feet to slow down and turn around, and his path put him right next to where Kaidan and the doctor were hiding. Thankfully, the Krogan had settled into his bezerker mode, and didn't have eyes for anyone but Shepard. As he lined up to take another pass at the Commander, Kaidan saw his chance. He stepped out from behind the pillar and pumped several rounds into the side of the Krogan's head with his new pistol. It took several steps forward before collapsing in a heap. Shepard looked impressed, then shouted out as rocks started to fall from the celling.  
>"No time for praise, Alenko! Everyone, get a move on!"<br>They ran like hell for the mine entrance. Ashley took the lead, her legs pumping furiously as she outpaced them all. Noticing Dr. T'soni was not in as good of shape as the marines, Kaidan grabbed her by the arm and practically dragged her up the walkway. Shepard brought up the rear, urging them on.  
>"Move! Move! Move!" She screamed, as the scaffolding started to collapse behind them. They made it out of the tunnel just as a large explosion of dust and debris shot out after them. As everything settled, the squad stopped to catch their breath, Dr. T'soni was wheezing and on the verge of collapse. A gentle humming sound above them signaled the approach of the Normandy, and Kaidan had never been happier to see it.<p>

As they boarded, Shepard called out instructions to Joker over her shoulder.  
>"I want the whole squad in the briefing room in five minutes! We need to figure out what to do next." The door to the airlock closed behind them, and they headed towards the CIC. "Williams. Alenko. Head downstairs and get out of your gear, but I want you back here for the debriefing. You can shower a bit later."<br>She and Dr. T'soni stepped into the briefing room, while Kaidan and Ashley stumbled down to their weapon lockers. He flung open his door, and unceremoniously dumped pieces of armor into it. He was so sore, and so tired. He hadn't been worked that hard since boot camp. When he got to his pistol and holster, he hung them gently on a hook, instead of piling it with everything else. Pulling on a clean shirt, he turned to find Ashley staring at him and snickering.  
>"What now, Chief?"<br>"You look like you just got out of bed, LT." He stared at her, unsure of where this was going. She pointed at his head. He spun around and checked his reflection in a small mirror. Tousled by his helmet, sweat and outfit changes, his normally compliant hair was sticking in all directions. Frantically, he tried to smooth it down with water from the nearby sink.  
>"Don't worry about! I bet the Commander will love it."<br>"Ha. Ha. Ha. Laugh it up, Chief."  
>She punched him lightly in the arm, and they headed back up to the briefing room.<p>

They settled into their chairs, just as Joker was finishing complaining over the intercom. Shepard raised her eyebrows at his wet hair and shrugged, turning her attention back to Joker's voice.  
>"That was too close, Commander. Ten more seconds and we would've been swimming in molten sulpher. The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull. Just for future reference."<br>"We almost died out there and your pilot is making jokes?" The Asari looked indignant.  
>"Joker pulled us out of the fire back there. He's entitled to a few lame jokes."<br>"I see. It must be a human thing. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species, Commander. But I am grateful to you. You saved my life back there. And not just from the volcano. Those Geth would have killed me. Or dragged me off to Saren."  
>Kaidan remember the doctor had been trying to say something before everything went to hell.<br>"What did Saren want with you? Do you know something about the conduit?"  
>"Only that it was somehow connected to the Prothean extinction. That is my real area of expertise. I have spent the past fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them."<br>Shepard frowned.  
>"Just how old are you, exactly?"<br>"I hate to admit it, but I am only a hundred and six."  
>Ashley gave a whistle.<br>"Daaaamn. I hope I look that good when I'm your age!"  
>"A century may seem like a long time to a short-lived species like yours. But among the Asari, I am barely considered more than a child."<br>Wrex grunted his agreement. Apparently Krogan were almost as long-loved as the Asari. "That is why my research has not received the attention it deserves. Because of my youth, other Asari scholars tend to dismiss my theories on what happened to the Protheans."  
>"I've got my own theory about why the Protheans disappeared."<br>Dr. T'soni leaned towards Shepard.  
>"With all due respect, Commander, I have heard every theory out there. The problem is finding evidence to support them. The Protheans left remarkably little behind. It is almost as if someone did not want the mystery solved." The Asari started getting excited; it seemed to Kaidan like she didn't get to talk about her research very often. "Its like someone came along after the Protheans were gone and cleansed the galaxy of clues. But here is the incredible part. According to my findings, the Protheans were not the first galactic civilization to mysteriously vanish. This cycle began long before them."<br>"Where'd you come up with this theory? I thought there wasn't any evidence."  
>"I have been working on this for over fifty years. I have tracked down every scrap and shred of evidence. Eventually, subtle patterns start to emerge. Patterns that hint at the truth." She looked at her hands. "It is difficult to explain to someone else. I cannot point to one specific thing to prove my case. It is more a feeling derived from a half century of dedicated research. But I know I'm right. And eventually, I will be able to prove it. There were other civilizations before the Protheans. This cycle has repeated itself many times over."<br>"What kind of cycle? What do you mean?" Tali was leaning towards the scientist, completely enraptured.  
>"The galaxy is built on a cycle of extinction. Each time a great civilization rises up, it is suddenly and violently cast down. Only ruins survive."<br>"Huh." Wrex grunted again. "Sounds like my home planet."  
>The comment passed by Dr. T'soni completely without notice. She was really getting into her subject.<br>"The Protheans rose up from a single world until their empire spanned the entire galaxy. Yet even they climbed to the top on the remains of those who came before. Their greatest achievements- the mass relays and the Citadel- are based on the technology of those who came before them. And then, like all the other forgotten civilizations throughout galactic history, the Protheans disappeared. I have dedicated my life to finding out why.  
>Clearing her throat, Shepard stepped forward.<br>"They were wiped out by a race of sentient machines. The Reapers."  
>"The Reapers? But I have never heard of- how do you know this? What evidence do you have?"<br>"There was a damaged Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It burned a vision into my brain. I'm still trying to sort out what it all means."  
>"Visions?" Dr. T'soni looked startled. "Yes, that makes sense. The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user. Finding one that still works is extremely rare. No wonder the Geth attacked Eden Prime. The chance to acquire a working beacon- even a badly damaged one- is worth almost any risk."<br>"Too bad you broke it." Ashley hissed at Kaidan. He gave her a death stare.  
>"But the beacons were only programmed to interact with Prothean physiology. Whatever information you received would have been confused. Unclear. I am amazed you were able to make sense of it all. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process." Kaidan and Ashley exchanged a worried glance. "You must be remarkably strong willed, Commander."<br>_Lesser mind?_ _Who was this blue woman to come aboard and start insulting people?_ He sighed. He was so tired he was starting to think like Williams. That wasn't good. Still, they didn't have all day to sit and listen to her lecture.  
>"This isn't helping us find Saren. Or the Conduit."<br>"Of course. You are right. I'm sorry." Dr. T'soni looked at him apologetically. "My scientific curiosity got the better of me. Unfortunately, I do not have any information that could help you find the conduit. Or Saren."  
>"I don't know why Saren wanted you out of the picture." Shepard crossed her arms. "But I think we'll be a lot better off if we bring you along."<br>"Thank you, Commander." The Asari stood up and walked over to the Commander. "Saren might come after me again. I cannot think of anywhere safer than here on your ship. And my knowledge of the Protheans might be useful later on."  
>"Good to have you on the team, Liara."<br>"Thank you, Commander. I am very grateful…" She staggered as her knees buckled. "I am afraid I am feeling a bit light-headed."  
>Biotic power took a lot out of you, and could cause serious problems if you didn't keep your energy levels up. Kaidan knew that all too well, he stood and supported the Asari by her arm.<br>"When was the last time you ate? Or slept? Dr. Chakwas should take a look at you."  
>"It is probably just mental exhaustion, coupled with the shock of discovering the Protheans' true fate. I need some time to process all this." He tightened his grip on her arm as she staggered again. "Still, it could not hurt to be examined by a medical professional. It will give me the chance to think things over. Are we finished here, Commander?"<br>"We can talk more again after you've seen the doctor. The rest of you… dismissed."  
>Kaidan started guiding the limp Asari towards the door.<br>"Alenko… that goes for you as well."  
>"The dismissed part? That's where we're going."<br>"No… the talking later part." She turned away from him to prepare her report to the council.

He and Dr. T'soni headed down the stairs towards the med bay. As they reached the doors, she stepped away from him and leaned against the wall.  
>"Its Lieutenant Alenko, correct?"<br>"Just Alenko will do, Ma'am. Or Kaidan, if you feel informal."  
>"Ah." She stuck her hand out to him. "Liara. You may call me Liara." He reached out and shook her hand. "I have to thank you, Lieu- Kaidan. You were monumentally helpful today. I'm not sure what I would have done without you."<br>"The way I see it, Liara, we biotics have to stick together."  
>"Ah. Based on your age, you must be one of the first human cases. I remember reading about the appearance of powers in human children. Which implant do you have?"<br>"The L2."  
>"Oh." She looked down. "You are coping well with it. After some rest, I would love to see a display of your powers. I have had such little interaction with your species in general, and have never actually met a human biotic."<br>"Sounds like a plan. Now if you'll excuse me, I do need to go clean up."  
>"Of course. Thank you again."<br>She wandered into the med bay and the capable hands of Dr. Chakwas. He continued down the hall past the sleeper pods to the crew showers. All he could think about was getting refreshed. He cleaned himself as quickly as he could, the showers were programmed to shut off after five minutes, and redressed into the spare clothes he kept in the shower locker room.

He settled into his station in the corner of the mess area, and clicked on his monitor to start his routine calibrations. Twenty minutes later, he was so involved in unsnarling a coding error that he didn't hear when Shepard walked up and stopped several feet behind him. Apprehensive about the formality of the meeting, he decided to go with protocol.  
>"Commander." He saluted. She raised her eyebrows." Do you have a minute?"<br>"I always make time for my officers." Screw it, he thought. To hell with regulations, and being proper.  
>"Off the record, I think there's something wrong here. Saren is looking for records on some kind of galactic extinction. But we can't get backup from the council? Sorry, Commander. There's writing on the wall, but someone isn't reading it."<br>She nodded in agreement. A piece of her hair flopped forward, obviously still wet from her own shower. _Oh that was not a good place to go right now. Brain, come back here. _  
>"The Council doesn't want to believe anything's wrong. I'd call it human nature, but…" Her voice trailed off; apparently she didn't feel like stating the obvious.<br>"I hear ya. It just seems like a group that's been around as long as the Council should see this coming." He shrugged his shoulders, loosening up the tension that had been building as he had hunched over his console. "Its funny. We finally get out here, and the final frontier was already settled. And the residents don't even seem impressed by the view. Or the dangers."  
>She gave him the same grin she had during that awkward moment on the Citadel.<br>"Well, well. You're a romantic. Did you sign on for _the dream_, Alenko? Secure man's future in space?"  
>"Yeah, I read a lot of those books when I was a kid. Where the hero goes to space to prove himself worthy of a woman he loves." He felt his ears turn red. "Or, you know, for justice." His brain flailed around awkwardly looking for a way out. Instead, he just started to babble. "Maybe I was a romantic in the beginning. But I thought about it after Brain Camp- ah, sorry. 'Biotic Acclimation and Temperance training." He made the air quotes with his fingers. "I'm not looking for the dream. I just want to do some good. See what's out here." She wasn't moving, wasn't reacting, just staring. He panicked slightly. "Sorry if I got too informal. Protocol wasn't a big focus back in BAaT."<br>"Tell me about it." She leaned forward, genuine interest on her face. He cleared his throat.  
>"'Biotic Acclimation and Temperance' didn't last past the airlock. To the kids they hauled in, it was <em>Brain Camp<em>. Sorry. Hauled in is unkind." He felt sarcasm seep in as he spat out the hated phrase. "We were 'encouraged to commit to an evaluation of our abilities, so an understanding of biotics could be compiled.'" Shepard's eyebrows went up. "There are worse results of _accidental_ exposure to element zero in the womb. Beats the brain tumors some kids grew up with."  
>She flinched.<br>"Sounds like you beat the odds. How many didn't make it?"  
>"Out of a hundred? Maybe sixty have no effect. Thirty suffer adverse effects. Little things like brain cancer. The other ten show enough ability to augment with implants. Not always permanent, though. Not like the cancer. Next thing you know, you're out on Jump Zero. How's a kid supposed to deal with that? A station at the edge of human space?" He was rambling, he knew it, but it felt so good to let it all out.<br>"Jump Zero is Gagarin Station, right? What's it like?" Now every time she asked a question, she stepped forward. They had started an awkward distance apart, but were now close to an actual conversational distance.  
>"Yeah, that's the official name. Biggest and farthest facility we had for decades. Right on the termination shock, the outer edge of the solar system. It was a sterile research platform when I was there."<br>"There were other kids in the same boat, right? At least you weren't alone."  
>Oh hell, why did she have to bring this up? <em>Williams. <em>Dammit, Ashley must have told her. He tried to avoid the inevitable.  
>"That's true. We did have a little circle that'd get together ever night before lights out. We didn't have much to do, though. It was a research platform then, and Conatix kept Jump Zero off the extranet. To prevent leaks."<br>"Then you must have had plenty of time to get to know each other." Shepard gave him a knowing smile.  
><em>Williams was going to hurt so badly when he caught up with her.<em>  
>"Yeah. We'd sit around and bull every night after dinner. Play cards or network games." Her unrelenting gaze bore into his soul. She knew there was something else there. He sighed, and let go of his old shame. "There was this girl name Rahna who had a little circle grow up around her. She was from Turkey. Her family was very rich. But she was smart, and charming as hell. Beautiful, but not stuck up about it." A thought clicked into his head, and was out of his mouth before he could stop it. "Like you, I guess. Ma'am."<br>Shepard let that slide, but he knew he was going to pay later.  
>"Sounds like she was special to you."<br>"She was." _So special. _"Maybe she felt the same, but… things never fell together. Training. You know." He couldn't bear to tell her the awful truth. Not yet. Let her still believe he was a competent soldier and a good man.  
>"Jump zero is a long way from home, what was it like?" What was her game? Was she tormenting him? Did Ashley somehow put her up to it? He had to stop it.<br>"Anyway. This was supposed to be a casual debrief, not a bull session about stuff that happened years ago." He felt a twinge of guilt as he said it. Was it guilt for dismissing his past so easily, or for ending their conversation so abruptly?  
>"I wanted to get to know you a little better, that's all." Her voice was completely sincere. Had he misjudged the situation? "Thanks for the talk, Kaidan."<br>"Well, you're welcome, Ma'am." He had to get to the bottom of this. "You make a habit of getting this personal with everyone?"  
>"No, No, I don't." She flashed him that devious smile. "We'll talk again later."<br>"I'll uh, I'll need some time to process that, Commander." He was in full mental panic mode. _Screw it_, _I'm taking the chance. _"But yeah. I'd like that."  
>She walked away turning the nearby corner into her office. Kaidan waited until he heard the door click shut before he slumped against the wall. Had he bashed his head harder than he thought earlier today? Did that just happen? He only knew one thing for certain. He had to find Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams and figure out what the hell was going on.<p>

(A/N so much writing! It's all coming so fast right now. I just got cut down from full time to part time at work, so I have a lot of spare time. Hopefully the rest of the story will come so easily.  
>Also, to the people who have subscribed, thank you. I really did start this with the intention of just getting it out of my system, just writing it for me. But it is really nice to know other people are enjoying it as well. Again, thank you.)<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

The elevator doors opened to the sound of an argument in process.  
>"I don't have to do what you say, Turian! This is an still an Alliance ship!"<br>"I wasn't trying to… I was merely suggesting a more efficient way of calibrating-"  
>"Stop watching me!"<br>Kaidan sighed and stepped off the lift. He had only made it a few steps before a giant hand grabbed his arm. He looked up into the amused face of the Wrex.  
>"Don't stop the fight. If they keep going they are going to end up killing each other or making out." A huge grin spread across his face. "Either would be amusing to watch."<br>Kaidan tugged on his arm, and Wrex released him, shrugging.  
>"Fine. Go ahead and ruin the first fun thing that has happened on this ship."<br>He ran up and grabbed Ashley by the shoulders, pulling her towards the back wall.  
>"Chief, what the hell is going on down here?"<br>Her natural instinct was to spring to attention.  
>"This Turian was harassing me, LT." She glared over his shoulder at Garrus. "He keeps nosing around over here. He needs to stay on his side of the loading dock!"<br>"I was just trying to be helpful!"  
>"Be helpful somewhere else!"<br>Resisting the urge to shake her, he leaned in close.  
>"Chief, remember what we talked about earlier? About letting go of things?"<br>"Its not your fault, Williams." Garrus piped up. "Just because your grandfather was General Williams-"  
>"YOU TOLD HIM THAT?" She shook herself out of his grip.<br>"Oh, it's getting good again." Wrex chuckled to himself.  
>"I didn't tell Garrus. Technically you did." Kaidan said, and Ashley's look of anger turned to confusion. "He was coming down the stairs and heard the whole thing."<br>"The whole thing?"  
>"Yes. And while we are on that subject, you have no right to accuse me of breaking confidence! I just had the weirdest conversation with Shepard, and I'm pretty sure she knew all about our little talk."<br>"I didn't say anything! We haven't seen Shepard since the briefing!"  
>Garrus stepped up next to Williams.<br>"Its true, Alenko. She was in the med bay talking to Dr. T'soni."  
>"I think the good doctor likes the Commander." Wrex had finally stepped out of the shadows into the main conversation. "Did you know they don't actually have a gender? They like everyone."<br>"Great." _Now I'm going to have to compete with a hundred year old blue pansexual woman… person?_ _Am I even competition for that? Am I even allowed in this competition? Does Shepard like blue women? This is so damn confusing. _"What the hell is happening on this ship?"  
>He looked up to find the three crewmembers staring at him.<br>"Look, Chief." He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers. . "Garrus is on board to help, and the Turians have been in space since before the Romans built the Coliseum. He's not trying to tell you what to do, but maybe you could but aside your issues and actually listen to him. Who knows, he might actually come up with a way to make your duties go faster, and then you can spend less time down here with him."  
>She grunted something that sounded affirmative.<br>Thank you, Alenko." Garrus nodded at him. "I will do my best not to antagonize her."  
>"Aww funs over." Wrex stomped back over to his corner. Kaidan rolled his eyes.<br>"No problem, Garrus." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "What do you think Liara and Shepard talked about?"  
>"Protheans, probably. The vision Shepard had, maybe. There is a chance Liara is feeling out the situation, to see where Shepard's interests lie. I don't know though, I didn't eavesdrop on that conversation."<br>The hiss of the elevator door ended the discussion. They all watched as Shepard stepped off and walked towards them.  
>"Oh, good. You're all bonding." She frowned slightly. "Does anyone know where Tali is?"<br>"Engineering." Garrus pointed down the walkway.  
>"Great. I'm going to go grab her. Alenko, get your gear prepped, I'll be right back." She jogged away and disappeared into the engine room. Sighing heavily, Kaidan bumped Ashley aside and opened his locker. Dammit. He had forgotten to come back down and put it away properly after the last mission, it still sat in a pile at the bottom of his locker. Carefully, he pulled it all out and started reorganizing. Just as he had gotten it all packed away, Shepard returned with the shy Quarian in tow.<br>"Okay guys, here is the plan. We were going to head straight to Noveria, but Admiral Hackett hailed us and asked for some help. So it looks like we are going to swing by close to home and stop off on the moon. They are having some issues with the training VI, apparently its gone rogue. Alenko, you and Tali will be going with me to shut it down, you both have the most tech experience. After that, we are going to head to Noveria and deal with Benezia. Garrus, you and Liara are going to assist on that mission. Williams, I want you and Wrex to go over the layout of the facilities there, figure out where we are most likely to encounter resistance." She tossed Ashley a data pad. "Anyway, its going to take us ten hours just to get to Luna, so I want everyone to get at least eight hours rack time. Kaidan and Tali, you should head up now, I want you back here at 0900 hours. Alright, you're all dismissed."  
>Kaidan and Tali followed her back to the elevator, and stood in awkward silence as it lurched upwards. Upon reaching the main floor, Shepard made for her office, while the other two headed to the sleeping pods. Tali walked around one, peering inside.<br>"I'm not sure how to use this." She confessed. "I've been sleeping on a bench in engineering."  
>"Is that even comfortable?"<br>She shrugged, her suit making a small rustling noise.  
>"It's more comfortable then where I was sleeping on the Citadel."<br>"Where was that?"  
>"The floor."<br>Shaking his head, he gave her a quick overview of the pods, She climbed in gingerly, and he helped her shut and latch the door. She must have fallen asleep quickly; through the small window he could not longer see her small glowing eyes. He climbed into another open pod and shut himself in. Sleep took him quickly as well.

_He was back on the dream Normandy; sitting at the mess table, playing cards in hand. _  
>"<em>Damn, LT! Stop daydreaming and place your bet!" Ashley laughed and punched him lightly in the shoulder.<em>  
>"<em>Come on, Kaidan! You're holding up the game." Kaidan stared in shock.<em>  
>"<em>Jenkins? What the hell…" <em>  
><em>The corporal grinned at him.<em>  
>"<em>Why are you so surprised? I've never missed a card game!" <em>  
><em>Not even glancing at his cards, Kaidan threw in some chips, letting the game continue. The elevator doors opened with a hiss, and he <em>_felt a presence step up behind him. _  
>"<em>Who are all these people, Kaidan? I don't recognize any of them." Golden hair fell in front of his face as Rahna leaned over his shoulder. <em>  
>"<em>They're all people I met after BAaT. After you stopped talking to me." <em>  
><em>He glanced around, remembering face after face until he reached the other side of the table. Shepard leaned back in her chair, intensely studying her cards. Eventually she leaned forward, set them down, and shoved all her chips into the pile.<em>  
>"<em>I'm all in, Alenko." She held his gaze. "What about you?"<em>  
>"<em>She isn't me, you know." Rahna cooed in his ear. "She can't replace me. Your guilt over what happened won't ever let you be fully happy with anyone else. Besides, she's your Commander." She spat the word out as if it gave her a bad taste. "You can't do anything about her. There are protocols." She looked smug. <em>  
><em>Kaidan stood up with a start, and stormed away from the table, dragging Rahna with him. <em>  
>"<em>What is wrong with you? When did you start acting like this?" He grabbed her by both shoulders and stared down into her perfect face. "I loved you because you were gentle and kind. Because you NEEDED me. But now, you've turned into this vindictive monster. What the hell happened?"<em>  
><em>She laughed, a sinister edge to something he once thought beautiful.<em>  
>"<em>I'm not really her, silly." She looked coy. "I'm what you remember of her, corrupted by years of guilt and a sense of duty to something long past. Do you really think she would wait for you? She's always needed a protector. She probably found a new one days after the incident. She's probably forgotten about you now, and if she hasn't, you exist in her mind only as the catalyst of an unpleasant memory."<em>  
>"<em>I've thought about her and BAaT every day. What are you doing here?" He motioned with his arm to the Normandy crew, staring silently at the couple. <em>  
>"<em>You've been living in the past for so long, but now something has changed." She pointed accusingly at Shepard. "Her. She's dragging you into a new life that I was never a part of. But part of you can't let me go. So here I am." <em>  
><em>The smug look on her face made him nauseous. He inhaled, and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against his chest.<em>  
>"<em>I'm so sorry for everything." He whispered. "And you're right. Part of me will always feel guilty for what happened." He lifted her up off the floor and walked towards the elevator. "But its time to move on."<em>  
><em>He dropped her onto the floor of the lift, and pressed the button as he stepped out. The doors closed and the elevator departed as he returned to the table. He picked up a chip, and turned it thoughtfully in his hand, staring at Shepard.<em>

He awoke for the second time to the sound of loud banging. It took him a moment to realize the noise was not coming from his pod.  
>"Hello, Lieutenant?" A small, muffled voice called out to him. "Excuse me, Kaidan? I forgot to ask how to open the door from the inside…"<br>Shaking himself awake, he opened his door and rushed over to Tali. He looked into the small window. The glowing eyes inside were wide with panic.  
>"Hey! Don't worry. They can be tricky the first time. Do you feel the handle on the door? Great, you have to reach under it and press the button as you turn."<br>The door opened, and she practically fell out.  
>"Oh! Much better than the floor, except for that last part!" She reached out and shook his hand gratefully. "I set an alarm on my omni tool, we should head down and meet up with Shepard now."<br>On their way to the elevators, they passed Garrus, Ashley and Wrex clustered around a holographic map and arguing loudly.  
>"Are you going to say anything to them?" Tali asked as they stepped onboard the lift.<br>"Nah." Kaidan pressed the button, and felt a tiny twinge of déjà vu. "They seem to be enjoying themselves."

Shepard was waiting for them in the armory area. As Kaidan started strapping on his armor, she gave them a brief rundown of the situation.  
>"The Alliance situational training facility on Luna has been upgraded to run off a VI program. Unfortunately, it has stopped responding to shutdown commands. We are going to dock the Normandy at the command center, and then drive the Mako out to the site. We would normally just drop in, but the VI controls the surface-to-ground missiles in the area. Since the Mako is so low to the ground, we should get through unnoticed. It's going to be a long drive though, at least an hour to get out there." She started walking towards the transport, and called back over her shoulder. "Tali, take the radar, Kaidan, the guns, just in case we run into surprises. I like having you as my eyes out there, but you have more experience than she does with the heavy weaponry." He nodded and climbed up into the Mako.<p>

He slid to the back of the cabin, and then strapped himself into the gunnery station where Ashley had sat before. He watched as Tali and Shepard climbed in after him, and sealed the hatch. Shepard hauled herself into the front seat, rummaged around, and then tossed a package back to him. It was a small earpiece and headset.  
>"I could barely hear anything last time we went out in this thing." Shepard said, adjusting her own earpiece. "I snagged these from stores so we could have conversation as we drive. Tali, I'm assuming you can tap into the frequency?" The Quarian nodded. "Great. Just keep in mind these are in no way secured, so no classified information." She sighed and settled into her seat. "Not that anyone on the far side of the moon will really be listening…"<p>

They sat quietly, listening to the Normandy roar as it broke through the Moon's miniscule atmosphere and touched down at the command base. Joker gave them the all clear, and Shepard drove the Mako off the ship and onto the surface.

They had been trundling along at a good pace for a few minutes when curiosity got the better of Kaidan. There were a few things about Tali that had sparked an interest, and they were unlikely to get uninterrupted time again.

"So, Tali, would you mind if I asked you a few questions?"  
>She turned awkwardly in her seat, and cocked her head at him.<br>"Only if I get to ask questions of you and the Commander in return."  
>"Deal."<br>"Hang on there!" Shepard called back from the front seat. "I didn't agree to any of that!"  
>"Don't worry, Commander." Tali gave a chuckle. "As you said, we are on the far side of the moon of your home planet! Who will be listening?"<br>Shepard gave a loud sigh and waved a hand at them, a sign Kaidan took as giving up on resisting. He smiled and turned back to Tali.  
>"When we were back on the Citadel, you introduced yourself as Tali'Zorah nah… um…"<br>"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."  
>"Yes. That. Now is all of that your name? Or is part of that a title?"<br>"My name is Tali, my family name is Zorah. Like how your family name is Alenko. Nar loosely translates to 'child of', and the Rayya is the ship I was born on. When I return to the migrant fleet after my pilgrimage, I will be placed on another ship. The placement will be based on my acquired skills and the needs of the fleet. They will then add the last part of my name, Vas, and then the name of the ship I am to live on."  
>"So basically," Shepard said. "Once you know a Quarian's name, you have a good part of their history figured out."<br>"Exactly." Tali held up her hand to Kaidan. "I know you are probably dying to ask all about the pilgrimage. I saw it on your face when we were in the Ambassador's office. I promise I will answer all of your questions. But I have to ask mine now, because it is on a similar topic."  
>She pressed a few buttons on her omni tool, and a small file popped up.<br>"I couldn't sleep for excitement the first night I was onboard the Normandy, so I looked up everyone's files." She scrolled down on her file a bit, and then looked up at Kaidan. "You are originally from Earth, born in the city of Singapore, in the south east of the continent called Asia. Yes, your first and family names are indicative of that. Your pregnant mother was accidentally exposed to element zero from a freighter crash, resulting in your biotic powers. Soon after that, your father moved the family to Vancouver Island, on the west coast of the United North American States. When you were 16, you were taken to Jump Zero for biotic training. A year later, it was shut down due to some kind of incident. I couldn't hack that file, the cooperation seals on it were too strong."  
>"Okay… did you have any questions about that?"<br>"No. Just confirming I had everything correct." She turned away from him and leaned up towards Shepard. "I do, however, have some questions about your file, Shepard."  
>"My files are sealed, Tali." Shepard didn't even turn around. "The perks of being an N7."<br>"Yes, the seals were very strong. I was only able to break through one level. And what I found was very interesting."  
>Shepard slammed on the brakes and spun around in her seat.<br>"You hacked into my file?"  
>"Not very far."<br>Resigned, Shepard turned back around and got the Mako going again.  
>"So what did you find in the first level of my files?"<br>"You were born on Earth, although it does not list a location. There is actually no record of you until the age of 18, when you joined the Alliance Military." She scrolled again on her file, as if she was searching for something. "The odd thing is that in all of your documentation, it only ever refers to you as Shepard. Only by what I assume is your family name. You are mentioned in several articles about awards and service medals, and while it lists the full names of others, you are only Shepard."  
>Kaidan stared at the back of Shepard's head. Were her ears turning red? What the hell had Tali uncovered? This was way more interesting then stories about life on the migrant fleet.<br>"Once I had broken the first seal, I did find something in your intake papers. There was a first name listed, but only in this one place, and then never again."  
>Kaidan leaned forward intently. What was Shepard so embarrassed by?<br>"It makes no sense though. Shepard, why is your first name listed as Yu?"  
>"You?" Kaidan asked, thoroughly confused.<br>"Yu. Y-U." Tali repeated. "A name that appears in people from the Chinese Federation on the other side of the planet, but not generally from the United North American States."  
>"It was someone's idea of a joke." Shepard mumbled, and then sighed. "Since you've figured it out, I guess I owe you guys the grand story of my life then."<br>Trying to mask his excitement, Kaidan settled into his seat. No one knew anything about her past; she was a complete mystery in the Alliance. The most popular theories were that she was the illegitimate lovechild of the President, or that military scientists had genetically engineered her to be the perfect killing machine. He had tried to look at Shepard's files himself when she first appeared on the Normandy, and he had to give Tali credit, hacking even the first level of the Alliance files took major skill. Privately, he was relieved she hadn't been able to break into the sealed files from BAaT. He was still working up the nerve to tell Shepard about that.  
>"I'm not quite sure where I was born, but I was raised at a mission in the south part of Seattle. I'm not sure if I was abandoned, or if my parents died, but regardless, that's where I ended up. The mission received a small government stipend for each child they took in, as well as a small reward for each child adopted before age six, so there was at least thirty of us there." She shifted gears on the Make with more force then necessary, causing the vehicle to squeal. "I guess they figured that anyone adopting us would want to start fresh, as if we were their own children. So under that logic, we were given no names and no possessions until we reached the 'unadoptable' age of six."<br>Kaidan's mouth dropped open. He had lived most of his life in Vancouver, just a few hundred miles away, but his father was retired from the military, and they had lived comfortably. Never would he have guessed that such bizarre and cruel things were happening so close.  
>"Once we were no longer adoptable, and no longer had to remain clean and cute," Shepard continued. "We were put to work, and named according to our jobs."<br>"What was your job?" Tali asked, as enraptured by the story as Kaidan.  
>"Goats." Shepard said, matter of factly. "I showed great aptitude with goats. I was, if you can believe it, a shepherd. I took the goats out of the city each day to graze, guarded them, first with a sling, then with a small pistol, and then brought them in at night. I fed them, milked them and made cheese."<br>She stopped her story to navigate the Mako down the side of a large crater.  
>"Shepard, if you drive off another cliff, I'm going to be sick. This suit is very hard to clean, and I do not believe the Normandy has the proper equipment."<br>"Sorry, Tali, I'll go around the next one. Anyway, when I was eleven, we found out the people who ran the mission had started using the government stipend for gambling, and had gotten in way over their heads with a bookie."  
>"How did you find out?" Tali asked breathlessly.<br>"I came back in with the goats that night and found them all dead."  
>"The rest of the kids?" Kaidan wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.<br>"Gone. I didn't find any of them around, so I assumed they had all legged it."  
>"What did you do then?"<br>"The only thing I could. I gathered up the goats, and we wandered off. Joined the first gang that would take us."  
>The cabin fell silent and the information sunk in. <em>And I thought <em>_getting hauled off to BAaT was bad. Well, it was bad. But damn, that's not anything a child should have to go through._  
>"Commander, what happened next?" Tali was leaning as far forward as she could.<br>"I joined up with a small band called the Tenth Street Reds. They took me in, goats and all. We ran the south end of the city, and made as good a life as we could. We had forged an alliance with the gang north of us, west of us was water, south was the main road, which we controlled, and east, well east was the Alliance base, so we were pretty secure. We took a small toll from anyone coming in via the south route, and I was on the evening guard. I was a fast climber and a good shot, so the boss would send me up to the rooftops to snipe anyone trying to sneak into our territory without paying. We were pretty lenient, the first time you tried to sneak in; we'd shoot you in the leg. Hopefully, that would deter a second attempt. During the day, I would take the goats out. It was wonderful to get out of the city, and I walked past the Alliance base every morning and every afternoon with my flock, and sometimes sold milk and cheese to the gate guards for a little extra income."  
>"Good thing they let you keep your goats."<br>"Profit is profit. Anyway, the older I got, the more I realized my life was only had a few options. I could stay with the gang, and end up dead in a few years, or I could move into one of the lower city brothels. So I took the third option and joined the Alliance. I marched up to the base I had walked past every day for years and signed up. At that point, it came out that I didn't have a name, just a job title, and you need an actual name to join the military. However, the man who ran the recruiting station had bought cheese from me, and had called greetings to me when he was on gate duty. 'Hey you shepherd girl!' The combination of his sense of humor and bad handwriting turned 'You Shepherd' into 'Yu Shepard.'" She sighed. "Thankfully, when I was selected for N7 training, my records were sealed for security reasons. The only people who know what my 'name' is are my boot camp instructors, and anyone who was in basic with me. Though now that I think about it, most of them died during the Blitz or on Akuze. So, it looks like now it's just a handful of people who know. And I'd like to keep it that way."  
>"Permission to speak freely, Ma'am?"<br>"As long as it isn't a joke about goats, Alenko."  
>"Why are you so embarrassed about this? It's a perfectly reasonable name, even kind of pretty." He was sure of it now; her ears were definitely turning red.<br>"You want the entire Alliance to find out that an N7 marine, the hero of the Skyllian Blitz, and the first human Spectre is named after a Staff Sargent's bad joke and her aptitude with _livestock?_ That's going to go over well." She glanced back over her shoulder at them. "Besides. Its kind of fun being an enigma, it freaks people out a bit when they know nothing about me. And when you're going up against crazy mercenaries, a little fear can give you a big edge. Was that everything you wanted to know, Tali?"  
>"Yes, Shepard."<br>"Right. I am going to trust you two to keep that quiet. Kaidan, that means you can't tell Garrus or Ashley. From what I've been hearing around the ship, you guys have been having lots of deep conversations. I have no problem with you guys baring your souls to each other; in fact I encourage the bonding. But this can't leave the Mako."

_What had she heard? Did she know more than she was letting on? Of course she did. She's Shepard. Apparently she knows everything._

They drove along quietly for a few minutes until Shepard broke the silence.  
>"I'm sorry, I didn't realize my fascinating story would totally kill the conversation. Tali, I'm sure Kaidan wanted to hear about life on the fleet, and your pilgrimage."<br>Tali obliged, and they spent the rest of the journey listening to her tales of the flotilla, and her adventures in reaching the Citadel. They were all very interesting, but Kaidan couldn't stop picturing a teenaged Shepard, perched on a rooftop with a sniper rifle.

Their arrival at the training facility was greeted by mortar fire.  
>"Oh hell!" Kaidan swung the guns around and took aim at a turret. He did his best to take them out while Shepard drove wildly. <em>I wish Ashley were here. She is way better with this gun.<em> After several frantic minutes, the guns fell quiet. They were on a hilltop, with three small bunkers dug into the ground. The squad put their helmets on, and crawled out of the Mako. Kaidan looked up into the sky at his home planet.  
>"Hey, Tali!" He tapped her on the shoulder and pointed. "You see that edge of the continent there? That's where Vancouver is. That's where my family is." He stared at the tiny spot he used to identify as home. <em>Where was home now? The Normandy?<em>

The entered the nearest bunker and crept through the first room. It was eerily quiet, the only sounds being the gentle hums coming from power generators and airflow units. As they passed through the doors into the next area, the room exploded with gunfire. Several automatic turret drones hurtled toward them at great speed, forcing them behind a large crate.  
>"They're coming in from the front and right!" Shepard yelled. "Tali and I will fend off the front attack, Kaidan, use your biotics to keep them from flanking us!"<br>She and Tali burst out of cover and began firing; he followed shortly, veering off to the side. He grabbed the nearest turret with his power and swung it around, slamming it into its neighbors.  
>Once they had disabled all of the turrets, the squad headed to the back room where the VI controls was located.<br>"Right, I guess we just destroy this then. Tali, this is what I brought you for."  
>The Quarian ran up to the console and investigated it for a few moments.<br>"It looks like all we have to do is destroy the main panel in each bunker. That should shut it down."  
>"Great. Now stand back!"<br>Shepard shot the control panel with her assault rifle, causing it to explode in a shower of sparks.  
>"Um, Shepard?" Tali sounded worried. "I'm reading a rising level of toxicity in the air."<br>"Great. Everyone keep your helmets on, and we should be ok. Now, lets get the hell out of here and into the other two bunkers."

As they exited onto the surface, Kaidan felt his eyes drawn upwards to Earth. It was funny, he had been to the far reaches of the galaxy, but there was something humbling about standing on the moon.

The situation was the same in the second bunker as the first. This time, the squad was ready for the drones and made short work of them. When they reached the control room, they found the VI controls behind a glowing blue barrier.  
>"It looks like it is trying to defend itself!" Tali exclaimed. "You are sure we are just dealing with a VI, right?"<br>"I don't think the Alliance would be messing around with AIs in a training facility." Kaidan answered.  
>"Curious. Anyway, I should be able to bring down this barrier. Give me a moment."<br>While Tali went to work on a nearby console, Kaidan and Shepard stood around awkwardly.  
>"What's going on in that head of yours, Alenko?"<br>"Just thinking about what you told us on the Mako."  
>"I told you, no jokes about goats."<br>"Its not that. Its just on a galactic scale, we were practically neighbors growing up. But our lives were so different. I had no idea that kind of stuff was going on."  
>"Well, I didn't, and still don't, know a lot about Jump Zero. I still want to hear more about that, if you're willing."<br>They were interrupted by a sharp crackling noise.  
>"The barrier is down, Shepard, the control panel can be shut down now."<br>Shepard nodded and shot the console as she had the first, the explosion this time was larger, almost as if the VI was trying to take them with it. They rushed out of the bunker and towards the last one.

The few drones in the third bunker put up almost no resistance. That struck Kaidan as almost sinister. This VI obviously wasn't going to go down without a fight, was it luring them in somehow?

They reached the final control room without incident, and again, the panel was behind an electric blue barrier. Tali headed to the other side of the room and reached for another console. The second her gloved fingers touched it, the doors to the room slammed shut behind them.  
>"That," Shepard said, "Is not good. Tali, get that barrier down!"<br>Tali worked frantically.  
>"I'm sorry, Commander! But it's fighting back! Every time I get a sequence down, it repairs itself!"<br>They all froze as a loud buzzing filled the air.  
>"Commander, I think the rest of the drones are starting up…"<br>"Ok, Tali, I don't think we are going to have the time to hack this one." Shepard shoved a large crate up next to the barrier, and then hauled herself onto it. "The barrier is only six feet high, so I'm just going to shoot over it."  
>"Shepard, wait!" But Kaidan's warning came to late. The huge explosion knocked everyone to the ground, and sent debris flying everywhere.<p>

Kaidan slowly got to his knees, his head in his hands.  
>"Is everyone ok? Are the drones still coming?"<br>"I think that shut everything off." Tali's voice came from under a pile of small boxes. "I'm not hearing any movement in the other room."  
>He waited for Shepard to give a command, or say something snarky, but there was nothing. Looking around frantically, he saw her lying facedown in a small heap across the room. The memory of Jenkins on Eden Prime flashed across his vision.<br>"No, no no nonono." He ran over to her and rolled her over. Her face was obscured, the visor of her helmet completely covered in blood. As he reached out to remove her helmet, Tali called out from behind him.  
>"Wait! I'm still detecting traces of the toxin! Leave her helmet on!"<br>He looked back to Shepard as she let out first a groan, then an impressive string of curses. He pulled her into a sitting position, and she let her head fall back.  
>"Are you alright?" He asked, trying to see through the blood to her face.<br>"Ya." Her voice sounded odd, almost as if she had developed a sudden cold. "Whed I hit da floor, by dose slambed idto by helmet. I tink ids brogen."  
>"My translator must have been damaged during the explosion," said Tali. "I didn't really understand any of that."<br>"Her nose is broken." Kaidan responded, helping Shepard to her feet. "And she landed face down. That explains all the blood." He gave a sigh of relief. If she had been dead, he might have lost it. _That's no way for a soldier to act. _She's your Commander, nothing more. _No. She's more than that._ "Lets get back to the Mako so we can get that helmet off and check out the damage."  
>Shepard nodded, and gingerly started making her way through the debris. Her limited vision caused her to stumble and trip several times before Kaidan caught her by the arm.<br>"This isn't going to work, Commander. You can't see in that thing." He took a deep breath. "Please don't court martial me, but this is the only way we are getting out of here without you hurting yourself more." Before she could protest, he swung her up into his arms, cradling her like he had after her encounter with the beacon. She had been a lot quieter that day. Every step he took jostled her slightly, and she was reacting very unfavorably to that.  
>"Come on, Shepard." He said jovially as they approached the airlock. "Its just a broken nose! You're a Marine! Suck it up a little."<br>Shepard muttered something about his grandmother and a Batarian and Kaidan grinned to himself.  
>"Nice to see you are feeling better."<br>They reached the airlock, and Tali scrambled up the side of the Mako to open the hatch. Kaidan set Shepard down next to the transport.  
>"Ok, you are going to have to climb up yourself, just feel for the handholds. I'm going to be right behind you in case you fall."<br>"I neber fall." He gave her a boost up, and she slowly felt her way up the side. Tali helped guide her into the cabin, and then scrambled in behind her. Kaidan stopped to take one last look at Earth, floating gently above him. Vancouver had rotated out of sight. He smirked. _How metaphorical. _  
>"Alengo!" Shepard bellowed from inside the Mako. "Cobe hep be get dis helmet off!"<br>"Yes, Ma'am!" He sighed, and lowered himself into the cabin, closing and sealing the hatch behind him. "Tali, can you radio Joker to come pick us up? The missiles won't be a problem anymore."  
>She nodded and climbed into the front seat. Kaidan turned his attention back to Shepard. He removed his own helmet, and then gently released the latch on hers. He winced. The nose itself didn't look too bad, but there was blood everywhere. She looked at him expectantly.<br>"Don't worry about it, Commander. You'll be back to your happy, smiling self in no time. You just need to wash the blood out of your hair."  
>She groaned, moved into the radar station, and strapped herself in. He went back to the gunnery station and did the same. As they waited for pickup, he watched her turn her helmet over and over in her hand. <em>I wonder what she's thinking about. Maybe I'll ask her once it doesn't hurt to talk. Or maybe this moment of bonding is over. <em>  
>His thoughts were interrupted by the loud clang of the Normandy latching on to the Mako, and hauling them back onboard. Back home.<p>

(A/N this is literally the point in the game where I decided I wanted to write a fanfic. It always bothered me that even during the romance scenes, Shepard is always "Shepard". You can give her a first name in the beginning of the game, and I have seen some great ones in other fics, but they never get used. So I tried to think of a reason she would only be called by her last name. I also thought it would be funny to name her You, because she is you. (The player) So yeah, that train of thought sparked this entire fic, and now that I have it down on paper (you know what I mean.) I feel much better. Its been bouncing around in my head for months.)


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

As soon as the Mako was secured on the flight deck and the Normandy airlock was sealed, Kaidan stood up and opened the main hatch. Ashley and Garrus were running over to the side of the Mako, with Doctor Chakwas right behind them. He ducked his head back inside the cabin to check on Shepard.  
>She had set down her helmet, and was holding her nose with one hand. Her pleading eyes turned upwards to meet his.<br>"Kaidegn." She sniffled, and grimaced. "Cand you gibe be a boost oud and den neber speak ob dis again?" He nodded, and helped her stand. He then put his hands on her waist, and lifted her out of the hatch, into the waiting arms of Ashley and Garrus. Turning around, he almost knocked over Tali.  
>"I can get out on my own, thank you." She patted him on the arm, and then climbed out the transport. Looking around the deserted cabin, Kaidan grabbed his helmet and looked around for Shepard's. It was on the floor next to the radar station, half tucked under the seat. As he reached for it, he noticed the bloody handprint on the radar screen. He felt his legs go weak, and he half collapsed into the chair.<br>What the hell had happened down there? Not just with Shepard losing her patience and nearly getting blown up, but his reaction to it all. Granted, he had never had a commanding officer die during a mission before, but he had lost squad mates, and Jenkins. He remembered his anger at losing Jenkins; the poor kid had been so excited about seeing some action. But his feelings then had been grief for a fallen comrade, a fellow soldier. It passed. When Shepard had been lying there, he felt for a moment like his whole world had been ripped apart. This was definitely moving beyond attraction, and onto something more dangerous. There was always flirting amongst the ranks, the Alliance turned a blind eye to it unless it crossed the line to harassment. But this, this was a heading to a place where he could destroy his career and get his heart broken. Today had really messed with his head. He had worked so hard to not feel the need to protect her; she was a strong, independent woman, more than capable of taking care of herself.  
>But she's not invincible. She's human. She doesn't need me to stand in front of her and save her from the universe. She needs me to stand beside her and help her take it on. <em>I don't ever want to not be beside her. <em>But there we times he knew that was going to have to be metaphorical. She wasn't going to take him on every mission. Hell, once this whole Saren thing was over, he might get assigned to a new ship. But he would have to cross that bridge when he came to it. Right now, he just needed to know she was safe when he wasn't there.  
>He had to figure out where she stood. Was she interested in him at all? The conversation they had the other day made it seem like she was, but now there was a potential rival for her time and attention.<br>Kaidan climbed out of the Mako, carrying both helmets. He would go over to the armory and wash Shepard's out; the deck crew would take care of the blood in the cabin. Regardless of how he felt for her, he knew right now the only thing she was feeling was embarrassment. He was going to have to tread lightly around her for the day or so, at least until she was back from the mission on Noveria. _But she's going to be spending that mission with Liara._

As he climbed down off the Mako, the lift doors opened and, Garrus walked out.  
>"I heard it got a bit crazy down there. I'm a bit sorry I missed it." They met in the center of the room, and walked over to the empty armory station. Kaidan set Shepard's helmet down and went to the sink to grab a wet towel.<br>"It was unlike any situation I've ever been in." He smirked to himself as he started cleaning out the helmet. "The Commander is damn tough, I'll tell you that."  
>"I can tell." Garrus laughed. "Although while the doctor was resetting Shepard's nose I did learn some interesting new phrases."<br>"Yeah, I was on the receiving end of a few of those myself."  
>"We heard about that, too." Garrus leaned up against the table.<br>As Kaidan pondered the implications of that statement, an idea popped into his head.  
>"Hey, Garrus, could I ask you a favor?" The Turian nodded. "When you go on the mission with Shepard and Liara, can you… watch them?"<br>"Well, that's not… really my thing, Alenko." The fringes on the side of Garrus's face almost seemed to bristle.  
>"What? No!" He sighed. "Sorry, that's not what I meant. Can you watch and see how Liara acts towards Shepard?"<br>Garrus's face relaxed.  
>"I see. Is there still distrust of Doctor T'soni? Do you not approve of Asari and Humans? Or is it the fact that they are both women unnerve you?"<br>"No, it's none of those." He felt his face start to burn.  
>"Oh, you are doing that red thing again. Let's see, that was embarrassment, right." It was Kaidan's turn to nod silently; Garrus took a few moments and looked thoughtful. "You are worried about the Asari having feelings towards Shepard. Why would you care about… Oh. Is that allowed in the Alliance?"<br>"Not really." Kaidan said miserably. "I don't even know how she feels. I've gotten hints, but I can't tell if they're in my head, if she is just flirting with me, or if there is genuinely something there. Can you just check to make sure she's not being seduced by some blue person?"  
>"I'll keep an eye out, see if anything happens."<br>Kaidan carefully wiped the last bit of blood out of the helmet. He stared into it as a final thought formed.  
>"Hey, Garrus. One more thing."<br>"Yeah?"  
>"Make sure Shepard doesn't lose her temper." He held up her helmet. "When she runs out of patience, things like this happen."<br>"Right. It doesn't seem like she does that very often though. But I can see why you would be concerned. I'll watch for that as well."  
>He turned and headed off towards the Mako, most likely to recalibrate it after its outing.<p>

Kaidan grabbed a second towel and carefully dried off the helmet. _I should give this back to the Commander._ She would probably appreciate not having to clean it. _You just want to make sure she's all right. _He shook his head. _No, I'm going to go and drop off the helmet, then leave. That's it. _He continued to tell himself that as he got in the elevator and headed up to the med bay.

Shepard was on a cot lying on her back, her feet pulled up so her knees pointed at the celling. As Kaidan walked through the med bay doors, she rolled onto her side to look at him. There were still traces of bruising under her eyes; medical science had only advanced so far.  
>"Hey, Alenko." Her voice had gone back to normal, the combination of medigel and putting it back in its proper place seemed to have done the trick. "I guess I owe you thanks for getting me out of there." She looked away. "And an apology for the whole incident."<br>Kaidan walked over and sat himself on the next cot.  
>"Look, it wasn't your fault. Things got crazy in there."<br>"It was completely my fault!" She rolled back onto her back. "I lost my cool, and you and Tali almost... I still feel responsible for losing Jenkins on Eden Prime. I wasn't paying attention, and that kid paid for it."  
>"Jenkins wasn't a kid. Yeah, he was young, but he was a marine! He knew what he had signed up for. We all do."<br>Shepard pulled herself into a sitting position, dangling her legs off the edge of the cot. She stared at the floor,  
>"Yes, but what about Tali? She's basically a civilian. If I had gotten her killed, I would have hated myself."<br>"She's a specialist. She wouldn't be here if she didn't know the risks. None of us would be. We all screw up, you just have to work hard not to do it again." He ducked his head to make eye contact with her, and felt a small twing of déjà vu.  
>"Look, you can't beat yourself up about this. You need to focus on making a plan, finding Saren, and saving the galaxy. I'll worry about getting everyone through alive."<br>"You're right." She ran her fingers through her hair and smiled at him. "You make a great officer, everything always makes sense after I talk to you."  
>Feeling the blush returning, he awkwardly thrust the helmet at her.<br>"I, uh, cleaned this out for you." She gently took it from him, and inspected it carefully.  
>"Thank you, that's a great help."<br>He nodded, and turned to walk out to the mess area. He was almost to the door when she called out to him.  
>"Kaidan?"<br>He spun around; she was still sitting, staring at her helmet.  
>"I know I said earlier I liked having you as my eyes, but that was a bit overkill down there." She grinned at him, and all words left his brain. He managed to nod quickly, and backed out of the room. As the doors started to close behind him, he heard the voice of Liara out of the back room.<br>"Commander Shepard, I need to ask about-"

Kaidan wandered over to the mess table and sank into a chair, laying his head down on his arms. The sound of someone sitting down made him jerk his head up. Ashley was across from him, holding two plates piled high with steaming hot food. She slid one over the table to him.  
>"You have to eat, LT." She pointed at the plate with her fork. "I read somewhere that biotics have crazy fast metabolisms."<br>Gratefully, he dug into the meat and potatoes she had brought him. In all his worry about Shepard, he hadn't noticed his stomach growling.  
>"That's true." The table shook as Wrex sat down next to Williams. "When I use my biotics it makes me hungry." He grinned at her, showing all his teeth. She grimaced and looked away. Kaidan looked at Wrex's plate in confusion.<br>"What are you eating? I wouldn't think an Alliance ship would have the right food for aliens."  
>"They didn't." Garrus dropped into the seat next to Kaidan. "We took on provisions at the Luna base while you guys were off gallivanting around."<br>Kaidan rolled his eyes at that, and then went back to his food. They all ate in silence for a few minutes, before Ashley broke the tension.  
>"What did happen down there? Shepard wouldn't tell us."<br>A quick glace through the med bay windows showed him Shepard and Liara in heated argument. _What the hell is that about?_ He looked back at Ashley.  
>"There was an unexpected explosion."<br>"Then why did you tell me-" Kaidan glared at Garrus.  
>"Never mind."<br>"But you said- ow!" Garrus reached down and rubbed his shin.  
>"We'll talk later, Garrus." Kaidan said through gritted teeth.<br>"About what? Why you just kicked me?"  
>Kaidan put his face in his hands. He could feel everyone staring at him, waiting for an explanation, but he wasn't going to give them one. There is no reason any of them should doubt Shepard's abilities as Commander. He already felt guilty for mentioning it to Garrus.<p>

Thankfully, Shepard and Liara chose that minute to come out of the med bay, and saved him having to explain anything. Shepard sat down at the head of the table, while the Asari stood behind her, fidgeting slightly.  
>"So here's the deal." Shepard said, a trace of annoyance in her voice. "Liara doesn't think it's a good idea for her to go with us to Noveria. She thinks Benezia could find a way to use her against us."<br>"Also," interjected Liara testily. "I have not used my biotics in a combat setting in a long time, I do not know if I would be a help or a hindrance."  
>"So she's going to stay on the Normandy. I want a biotic there, Alenko. You'll be going in her place. Garrus, you're still going as planned." She looked around the table. "Wrex, while we are docked, I want you and Ashley to run through some combat scenarios with Liara on the flight deck. Get her used to fighting with her biotics, who knows when we will need everyone to fight?" Ashley opened her mouth to argue. "Williams, we'll get you some heavy padding. I really want your tactical knowledge down there."<br>Ashley nodded, a sour look on her face. Kaidan shook his head slightly at her. _She was going to have to fight off the prejudice at __some point. _  
>"Anyway." Shepard continued. "We will be to Noveria in about 15 hours, Garrus, can you start filling Alenko in on the plan after you finish eating? I have to fill a report with Admiral Hackett about Luna. I'll join you after that."<br>Garrus nodded, and went back to eating. Liara grabbed plates for herself and Shepard, and sat down on the other side of Ashley.  
>"Has anyone seen Tali?" Kaidan asked. "Has she eaten yet today?"<br>"She's down in the engine room." Wrex answered. "She said she had already eaten."  
>"How do Quarian's eat?"<br>"Paste."  
>They all looked down at their respective plates, full of hot, filling food.<br>"Poor Tali." Ashley murmured, and attacked her potatoes with renewed effort. Shepard laughed, and tucked into her own food. For a few minutes, as they all chatted and laughed and ate, Kaidan's mind wandered back to BAaT. He had spent so many nights with his friends like this, safe in a small moment, but with uncertainty hanging overhead. He glanced to the head of the table where Rahna had always sat. Shepard was eating slowly, savoring each bite. _She probably didn't get a lot of food growing up._ He had to fight the urge to feel sorry for her. Everyone at this table had gone through some kind of hardship, and Shepard was a strong woman. _I bet the last thing she wants is me trying to comfort her for something she dealt with a long time ago. _The bruising on her face wasn't helping though. It reminded him of that moment of despair and made her look fragile. Embarrassed with himself, he went back to eating in silence.

As they finished eating, people slowly stood and left the table. Eventually, only Garrus and Shepard were left with Kaidan. Shepard leaned back in her seat and stretched out her arms.  
>"I'll say one thing about the Alliance. They know how to keep their marines fed." A satisfied smile on her face, she pushed herself up out of her chair and grabbed her empty plate. "Time to go check in with the Admiral. I'll see you two in a bit." She dropped off her plate and headed upstairs.<br>Garrus grabbed his plate and stacked it on top of Kaidan's.  
>"If you take these away, I can set up the mission maps."<br>Kaidan cleared the plates away, and stuck his head around the corner to make sure Shepard was really gone, before returning to the table.  
>"Look, Garrus." He sat down next to the Turian and leaned in. "I don't want the rest of the crew to have any reason to question Shepard's leadership, so don't bring up what I said earlier about her temper."<br>"Ah. That would explain the kick earlier."  
>"Yeah."<br>"Got it. I'll keep that to myself." Garrus reached over and hit a button on a datapad. A holographic layout of the main facility on Noveria rose above the table. He then proceeded to give a lecture on how the planet was run by corporations. Kaidan tried to pay attention, but found his thoughts wandering back to Shepard, lying on a cot in the med bay. He tuned back in to Garrus when he started going over the mission plan. As he ran through it, he pointed out the locations on the map. "We are going to land here, and we are expecting Benezia to be in the hotel here. If she isn't in the main facility, she may have gone out to one of the research stations." He pressed another button, and a new set of holograms popped up. "The outer facilities and research stations all have one of three layouts. I'm going to upload all of the layouts to my eyepiece so we have some idea of where we are going."  
>Kaidan studied the maps intently. "Lets just hope she hasn't left the hotel. The last thing I want to do is go tromping around research labs."<br>He heard a laugh behind him, and turned to see Shepard heading back towards the table.  
>"I certainly hope we are not going to be tromping around." She sat down next to Garrus. "Okay, I want to know these maps well by the time we get down there. I want no surprises on this mission."<br>They spent the few hours going over the maps, looking for places where ambushes would be likely, and where they would most likely find cover. Kaidan hadn't even noticed the time going by, when Joker announced they were under an hour away from landing, he was shocked. He stood up, stretched, and followed Shepard and Garrus into the elevator.  
>"Let's make this mission fast, guys." Shepard said. "I want to question Benezia, and be on our way."<br>As soon as the elevator doors opened on the next floor, a small crate flew at their heads. Without even thinking, Kaidan reached out with his biotics and plucked it out of the air.  
>"Sorry!" Liara called out to them. "I didn't know you were coming down!"<br>The flight deck was littered with debris, and Ashley was sprawled out in the middle of the floor, wearing her full armor.  
>"How goes the training?" Shepard asked, as they edged over to the lockers.<br>"She's doing well." Wrex answered. "She just needs to stop apologizing every time she tosses the chief."  
>Kaidan laughed as he put his armor on. Ashley was probably going to need a beer after this. <em>I wonder if I can sneak any on at Noveria. <em>  
>"Keep up the good work, guys." Shepard strapped on her chest plate and headed back towards the elevator. "Though I want this all cleaned up by the time we get back."<br>"Yes, mom." A dazed Ashley muttered from the floor.  
>Shepard laughed as the elevator door closed.<br>"I almost feel sorry for Williams." She said. "Almost."  
>When the elevator stopped, they headed through the CIC up to the cockpit.<p>

"Commander, we're just about to break atmosphere." Joker turned his face up to Kaidan. "Hey, Stranger. Feels like you've been avoiding me recently. Whatever happened to our quality time?"  
>"I'd give you a manly punch in the shoulder right now, but I don't want to break you."<br>"Boys, as adorable as your reunion is, I need Joker to land my ship."  
>"Sorry, Commander."<br>The conversation was cut off anyway as they broke through the atmosphere of Noveria. As the vibrations rattled the Normandy, Kaidan looked over at Shepard. She was clutching onto the back of Joker's chair, bracing herself against the ship's movements. _Dammit, stop looking at her. _But it was too late, his distraction had caused his grip on the wall to come loose, and he pitched forward. He took a few stumbling steps, and ended up next to her, grabbing onto Joker's chair. She looked up at him, and gave him a shy smile. It took all of his willpower not to put his arm around her and pull her in closer. The vibrations ended a few seconds later, and so did the moment.  
>"Approach Control, this is the SSV Normandy. Requesting a vector and a berth."<br>As Joker hailed the ground control, Kaidan looked awkwardly at Shepard.  
>"Sorry about that. I lost my grip."<br>"Don't worry about it." She put her hand on his arm. "I'm just glad you didn't bash your head again."  
>"You too."<br>An unpleasant voice cut through the cockpit, interrupting anything Shepard was going to say to that.  
>"Normandy, your arrival was not scheduled. Our defense grid is armed and tracking you. State your business."<br>"Citadel Business. We've got a council Spectre aboard."  
>"Landing access granted, Normandy. Be advised we will be confirming identification on arrival. If confirmation cannot be established your vessel will be impounded."<br>Joker turned to look at them.  
>"What a fun bunch. I think I'll take my next leave here."<br>"You enjoy that." Shepard motioned to Kaidan and Garrus to follow, and they approached the airlock. "Okay, I am not expecting the warmest reception, so be ready for anything."  
>Kaidan reached down, and loosened his pistol in its holster. Nothing was going to happen to Shepard while he was there. The airlock opened, and they stepped out into the cold air of Noveria.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

(A/N Noveria is a really long mission, so I'll be skipping thought a lot of the combat. I'm not very good at writing it, and if you guys wanted to relive that part of the game, you'd play the game.)

CHAPTER 8

The squad had barely gone twenty yards before a small security team stopped them. They held large guns and wore serious expressions. A thin woman with black hair stepped towards them.  
>"That's far enough."<br>"Something wrong, Officer?"  
>"This is an unscheduled arrival. I need your credentials."<br>"I'm a Specter. My name is Shepard." The women looked unconvinced. Had word of Shepard's promotion not gotten this far out into space yet?  
>A blonde woman with a sour expression stepped out from behind the first.<br>"Load of horsecrap, Ma'am." Apparently the news hadn't reached this planet. The black haired woman looked nervously at the other.  
>"We will need to confirm that. Also, I must advise you that firearms are not permitted on Noveria. Sergeant Sterling, secure their weapons."<br>The blonde started walking towards them. Kaidan pulled out his pistol at the same time Shepard did. He glared at the Sergeant, who backed away slowly.  
>"We going to let them do this, Commander?" He called over to Shepard. She glanced back at him, and her face softened.<br>"Let's not start a fight."  
>She lowered her pistol in a show of goodwill. Kaidan kept his trained on the blonde woman. If she so much as twitched towards Shepard, he was going to shoot her.<br>A loud and panicky voice shouted over the station intercom.  
>"Captain Matsuo! Stand down! We confirmed their identity. Specters are authorized to carry weapons here, Captain."<br>The Captain lowered her own gun.  
>"You may proceed, Spectre. I hope the rest of your visit will be less confrontational." She bowed slightly. Kaidan holstered his own gun, but kept his eye on the Sergeant. There was something about her he didn't trust. "Parasini-san will meet you upstairs."<br>"Behave yourself." The Sergeant watched suspiciously as they passed her and headed up the stairs.

At the main information desk a tan woman in a garish pink dress greeted them.  
>"I am Gianna Parasini, assistant to Administrator Anoleis. We apologize for the incident in the docking bay."<br>"I appreciate your help." Shepard said, shaking the woman's hand.  
>"You're welcome. You understand our security chief was only doing her job. One of my duties is orientation of new arrivals. Do you have any questions?"<br>"Has anyone unusual passed through here recently?"  
>"Unusual? An Asari Matriarch passed though a few days ago. Lady Benezia."<br>Kaidan and Garrus looked at each other. If she had passed through, then she must have gone on to one of the research facilities.  
>"Where is she now?"<br>"Benezia left for the Peak 15 research complex days ago. To the best of my knowledge, she's still there."  
>Shepard sighed.<br>"Could you tell me how to get there?"  
>"You'll need to ask Administrator Anoleis for clearance to leave this port."<br>"Okay, where can I find the administrator?"  
>"His office is on the main level. Left at the top of the elevator."<br>"Understood. Can we go in now?"  
>"Of course. If you need any help, you can ask me at the administrator's office."<br>The assistant walked away behind the counter. Shepard turned around, as if she was going to say something, and stopped. The dark haired Captain was coming towards them.  
>"I apologize for my rudeness when you arrived. I meant no disrespect." She gave them the small bow again. "I have a responsibility to protect the safety and privacy of corporations here. The arrival of an Alliance warship was unexpected."<br>"No harm was done." Shepard reached out and shook hands with the Captain.  
>"That is a generous attitude. My thanks."<br>They watched as she walked back to her security detail. The Sergeant still stared coldly at them.  
>"Anything you are going say," Shepard hissed under her breath. "Save it for the elevator."<br>She motioned with her head, and they stepped onboard the glass elevator. As soon as the doors shut, she spun around to face them.  
>"Alenko, I don't like that blonde woman." She frowned and absentmindedly played with a strand of hair that had fallen in her face. "Lets try not to cross her path again."<br>"Took the words right out of my mouth, Commander." He fought the urge to reach over and tuck her hair back behind her ear. _Dammit, brain, not now._  
>The elevator doors opened and they walked out onto the main floor.<p>

"Impressive." Garrus murmured.  
>The room was massive. Large sloping windows on one side sheltered them from a raging snowstorm, while the floor was broken up into small landings. Bare cement walls and floors caused every sound to echo.<br>"I love what they've done with the place." Kaidan said, sarcastically.  
>"You have a thing for cement, Alenko?"<br>"Its not all cement, Commander. I'm pretty sure I see a shrub over there."  
>Shepard laughed, the sound of it ringing off the walls. The people nearest to them stared, then hurried away. Shepard shrugged, and headed off down the stairs. Several flights down, they found the offices of Administrator Anoleis, and Gianna Parasini behind a counter again.<br>"Hello. How can I help you?"  
>Shepard shared an odd look with Kaidan. Why was she talking to them as if she had never met them?<br>"Um, I'd like to speak to Anoleis?"  
>"One moment please." Gianna pressed a button on her console. "Mr. Anoleis?"<br>"Yes. What? What!" The response was aggravated.  
>"Commander Shepard is asking to see you, sir."<br>"Fine. Send her in."  
>Gianna motioned with her hand towards the next room. Shepard raised her eyebrows, but headed towards the back.<p>

Anoleis was a nervous looking Salarian. He was filling out something on a datapad as the squad entered his office.  
>"You will excuse me if I don't stand up." He stared at Shepard. "I have no time to entertain refugees from that urban blight called Earth."<br>Kaidan winced as he saw Shepard's hand close into a fist.  
>"I'm here as a Spectre, not a human." She responded icily. "Keep that in mind."<br>"Believe me, that is foremost in my mind. This greeting is a courtesy. I will only cooperate as required by the Executive Board. Businesses come here to avoid the second guessing of galactic law."  
>Shepard unclenched her fist and held up her hand.<br>"I'm not here to investigate your tenants."  
>"Nevertheless, I have a responsibility to keep you away from them. Spectres are not encumbered by a need for due process."<br>Kaidan groaned. This guy was going to make things way more complicated than they needed to be. Garrus glanced over at him and shrugged.  
>"I've heard an Asari Matriarch is here. Benezia?"<br>"She arrived a few days ago, accompanied by a personal escort and some cargo. She is up at Peak 15."  
>"I'd like to see her immediately."<br>"I'm afraid that you cannot. Peak 15 is a private facility in the Skadi Mountains." A smug look passed across the Salarian's face. "Regardless, there is a blizzard in the area. Shuttles are grounded, and surface access has been cut off."  
>"Surface access, you say?"<br>_Oh hell. She wants to drive out there. _  
>"Cut off, I said. The roads are not suitable for travel. Don't make an issue of this, Shepard."<br>As much as Kaidan disliked Anoleis, he agreed with that statement. _I don't want to go out there in this weather with her behind the wheel. _There has to be another way.  
>"Forget him, Commander." He said, stepping up alongside her. "If he won't play ball, I'm sure someone else here will."<br>"I have no more questions at this time."  
>She spun on her heel, and marched out of his office, leaving Kaidan and Garrus rushing to catch up. As they walked through the lobby, Gianna Parasini called them over.<br>"You've never worked in the corporate world, have you, Commander? You can't bludgeon through bureaucracy." Kaidan laughed to himself. She obviously had never met the Commander before.  
>"All right. What would you do?"<br>The woman leaned over her desk and looked around conspiratorially.  
>"Talk to Lorik Qu'in." She said in a voice barely above a whisper. "You should be able to find him at the hotel bar. He's a distinguished looking Turian. Can't say more. Not within earshot of Mr. Anoleis."<br>"Thank you. I've taken up enough of your time."  
>"Not at all, Spectre. This is my job, after all."<p>

Shepard motioned to the squad to move out, and they left the office lobby. As the doors closed behind them, Shepard leaned up against a nearby wall.  
>"Dammit. Is there anyone in this galaxy that doesn't insist on playing games? I just want to find this Asari and get the hell off this planet." She sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair. "Sorry, I just don't do well with politicians and bureaucrats. I find my problems are easier to solve when I can just shoot things."<br>"Believe me, Commander," Kaidan said softly. "I wish a **lot** of things were more straightforward." She looked up at him, a curious expression on her face. They stared at each other awkwardly for a few seconds until Garrus cleared his throat.  
>"Um. I think the hotel is that way."<br>The squad set off moving again, and Kaidan mentally kicked himself. _Why the hell did you say that? And what the hell was that __moment about? _Damn this woman drove him crazy.

They reached the entrance of the hotel, and entered the elevator. It let them out in a spacious bar, where loud electronic music drowned out Shepard's instructions.  
>"What?" Garrus yelled back at her. Shepard sighed and pulled them towards her. Her face was so close to Kaidan's he could feel her breath on his ears. He shivered slightly.<br>"I think that's him over in the corner!"  
>She leaned back and pointed to the far end of the bar. As they approached the table, Kaidan happily noticed they were far enough away from the speakers that he could hear people talking. <em>Not that he didn't like Shepard having to be that close.<em>  
>The Turian at the table looked up and greeted them pleasantly.<br>"Afternoon. Sit down, have a drink. What can I do for you?"  
>"Are you Lorik Qu'in? I've heard you might be able to help me."<br>"You are the Spectre that just arrived, are you not? What could an old Turian like me possibly help you with?"  
>"I'm trying to find a way into the garage. I have places to go."<br>"You need a pass." He stroked his chin. "How fortuitous. I'm the manager of the local Synthetic Insights office. For the moment, at least." He frowned. "Mr. Anoleis closed my office. He claims to be investigating reports of my corruption. The administrator is an interesting man. He has become quite wealthy since he took direct control of rents."  
>"Bribes?"<br>"Indeed. I acquired evidence of Anoleis' actions. His hired goons are ransacking my office to find it. I suspect your goal lies outside this port. Mr. Anoleis would be disinclined to let you wander. If you recover the evidence from my office, I will give you my garage pass, as well as a sum of credits."  
>"That sounds like a fair trade."<br>"Violence against Mr. Anoleis' thugs may be necessary. He has members of Hanshan's security team searching my office. He is paying them under the table. Ms. Matsuo is unaware of their outside employment."  
>Shepard smiled.<br>"If he's paying them under the table, they're mercenaries. I can kill mercenaries."  
>"Excellent. Here is my pass into our offices. It will activate the elevator. The evidence is on my office computer. The OSD contains an encryption key to access it. Slide it into the drive and it will auto execute." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Oh, and do try to keep blood stains off the carpets, would you?"<p>

They left Lorik Qu'in with his drink and headed back through the bar and down the elevator. As they waited in the elevator to the Synthetic Insights office, Garrus let out a sigh.  
>"What is it with this place and elevators? Its worse than the Citadel!" Kaidan had to agree. Everything was on different levels here, and all of the awkward, silent time in the elevator was starting to drive him crazy.<br>"I'm surprised everyone is as fit as they are." Shepard said. "You rarely see stairs anywhere."  
>"There are some wards on the Citadel that have stairs. The next time we are there I'll show you."<br>The elevator doors opened, and put them face to face with two very surprised guards.  
>"Freeze! Hanshan security! This office is sealed."<br>"What'll you do if I don't?"  
>"You're the Spectre, right? Lorik Qu'in is under investigation."<br>Shepard's hand idly ran over her pistol. Kaidan could tell all the bureaucracy and running around was really starting to get on her nerves.  
>"Anoleis is paying you to shake the place down. That makes you a criminal." She cocked her head to the side. "I can kill criminals."<br>"You're bluffing."  
>"Um, yeah." Kaidan said. "I really doubt she is."<br>The guard looked nervous.  
>"He ain't paying me enough to take on Spectres." She looked at Kaidan and Garrus. "Or Alliance troops. Or whatever." She glanced back at Shepard. "How about this? You pretend you didn't see us, we'll pretend we didn't see you." She and her companion rushed past them to the elevators.<br>"I'm glad they left." Shepard said with a sigh. "Sometime I feel bad about shooting inept mercenaries."  
>"Wait a minute." Garrus said, sounding indignant. "How am I 'whatever'?"<br>They made their way through the empty lobby to the back offices. Shepard tossed Kaidan the OSD and pointed to the lone computer.  
>"Alenko, go work your technical magic, please."<br>The data extraction was fairly straightforward, and as everything uploaded, he watched Shepard poke around the office.  
>"What are you doing?"<br>"Looking around." Her muffled voice answered. "I found a really neat sniper scope in a potted plant once."  
>"What?"<br>She turned to him and grinned.  
>"I'm not kidding. I have no idea where it came from or what it was doing there. Got the data?"<br>He nodded.  
>"Great. Let's get out of here."<p>

Kaidan handed her the OSD and they headed out of the office. As they rounded a corner, the blonde Sergeant from earlier stepped out from behind a large plant.  
>"I don't think you're supposed to be in here, Shepard."<br>"Do you plan on making me leave?"  
>"Leave? You think I'm going to let you walk out?" She slowly shook her head. "Uh-uh."<br>"Being a cop doesn't give you the right to break the law yourself. You accepted bribe money." Kaidan said as he stepped up next to Shepard. Her fingers were twitching next to her pistol.  
>"You want a fight?" Shepard flashed an evil grin. "I'll give you one."<br>"You talk the talk. Let's see if you can walk after I break your legs!" The Sergeant grabbed for her pistol, but Shepard was quicker. Two seconds later, the blonde woman was on the floor, the sneer frozen on her face, a small hole above her left eye.  
>"I really, really did not like her." Shepard said, as she stepped over the body. "Her rudeness was completely unnecessary, don't you think?" Kaidan and Garrus exchanged a look. Shepard had been itching to shoot someone since they landed; just as well it was the corrupt cop. They left the office, and were headed back towards the hotel bar, when Gianna Parasini came around the corner.<br>"Commander. There've been reports of noise from the Synthetic Insights office. Would you know anything about it?"  
>Shepard looked back at Kaidan and Garrus, her face guilty. Garrus shrugged at her, and she turned back around.<br>"Probably Anoleis' thugs ripping the place apart."  
>"Smartass, hm? That's fine. I can work with that. Meet me at the hotel for a drink, before you talk to Qu'in. I'll be waiting." She left as quickly as she had arrived, and Shepard peered around the corner to make sure she was gone.<br>"What the hell is with the people here and jumping out from behind things?" She put her hands on her head. Kaidan pretended to cough to cover up his laughing. "I swear I am just going to shoot the next person who pops up from behind a decorative shrub."

They got back to the hotel bar without Shepard shooting anyone, and located Gianna at a table.  
>"Allow me to reintroduce myself." Her tone of voice had changed completely. "Parasini, Noveria Internal Affairs."<br>Shepard looked at her suspiciously.  
>"Why is an Internal Affairs agent here?"<br>"The Executive Board knows about Anoleis' corruption. I've been undercover for six months. I want you to convince Qu'in to testify before the board. With his evidence, this planet can run profitably again."  
>"I need Qu'in's garage pass to complete my mission." Shepard looked annoyed; she was probably tired of the running around. Kaidan knew he was, but that's the way things went on this planet, apparently.<br>"You help my investigation, I'll provide whatever you need. Favor for a favor."  
>"Seems we'd help more people if we did as she asks." Garrus pointed out. Parasini nodded.<br>"Look, Shepard, I don't like this either. You Spectres play fast and loose with the law. That's bad for business."  
>"Fine. I'll talk to Qu'in and see if I can convince him." Shepard walked past Parasini, and towards the back table where they had last seen Qu'in.<br>"Thank you. You know where I work!" The agent called after them.

Qu'in gestured for them to sit down, but Kaidan stayed on his feet, standing behind Shepard. He didn't trust this planet, and the last thing they wanted was to be caught unaware.  
>"I have not been contacted regarding our arrangement yet. Are things in hand?"<br>"Working on it. But I had a question for you first. Did you see an Asari Matriarch recently?"  
>"Yes, she caused quite a stir. It is not every day a Matriarch arrives with a guard detail of commandos." <em>Oh hell. Asari Commandos.<em> Kaidan caught Garrus' eye, and knew he was thinking the same thing.  
>"Is it so unusual to see a Matriarch?" Shepard put her elbows on the table and leaned forward.<br>"They rarely venture beyond Asari space. To see such an esteemed figure is surprising. Lady Benezia was also dressed for her role. An Asari in a pinstriped suit set tongues wagging among the younger male employees. So to speak." He chuckled to himself.  
>"It does sound like something you'd find on an extranet fetish site." Kaidan blurted out. Shepard turned and looked up at him, her face a mix of shock and amusement. Garrus put his hand on his face. "What?" <em>Oh, brain, how I hate you.<em>  
>"On that note…" Shepard turned back around slowly. "I finished the job. But an Internal Affairs investigator contacted me. She wants you to testify against Anoleis."<br>The smile on Qu'in face disappeared.  
>"Now that you have my property, you want to dictate how I use it? I have no interest in a public spectacle."<br>"Everyone on this station is chafing under Anoleis' extortion. You might end up a hero."  
>"My employers rely on the goodwill of the Executive Board to work here."<br>"If these executives don't blame Anoleis for provoking this, they're fools."  
>The Turian sighed and threw up his hands.<br>"All right. It is obvious that I cannot dissuade you. Make whatever arrangements you will need with your contact. I will wait here."

As they headed once again for the elevator, Shepard let out an exasperated sigh.  
>"I will be so glad when we can get on with things. I like being helpful and all, but this is just ridiculous. I am not a damn courier."<br>She jabbed at the elevator call button until it arrived. The second the doors closed behind them, she looked at Kaidan and started laughing.  
>"Extranet FETISH SITES? Is that what you do all day, Alenko? Do I need to check the logs at your station?"<br>_If I died right now, it would probably be for the best. _He felt every part of his face go red. Now the Commander thinks he's a total pervert. _Fan fucking tastic._ If she had any interest in me, it's gone now. He didn't even bother trying to defend himself. He just stood as still as he could, hoping he would blend into the background and she would forget all about him. She reached over and gave him a small punch in the arm.  
>"I was kidding, Lieutenant. You can stop looking like I shot you in the foot." She was still snickering to herself when the lift doors opened. They crossed the large room towards Anoleis' office for what would hopefully be the last time.<p>

Gianna Parasini stood quickly up from behind her desk. She glanced around quickly to make sure they were alone.  
>"Specter. Have you given any more consideration to my offer?"<br>"It took some persuasion, but Qu'in has agreed to testify."  
>The agent sank down into her chair, her horrible pink dress rustling.<br>"That's a world of stress off my back. I'll take the evidence for safe transport." She took the OSD from Shepard and stared at it. "I didn't think you'd help me, being a Specter and all. I guess some of you can be all right."  
>"Doesn't this help you? You don't seem particularly happy."<br>"I'm ecstatic." Kaidan raised an eyebrow. He hadn't realized ecstatic actually looked like indigestion. "But right now, I just feel like a long day of work is ending. While you were working on Qu'in, I got you a garage pass. Be careful up there, there's been a quarantine alert at Peak 15." She stood back up and stretched out her arms. "I have an arrest to make. Wish I had time to change into something to move in. I hate skirts."  
>She walked around the corner at a brisk pace, and reappeared a moment later with Anoleis in tow.<br>"This is an outrage!" The struggling Salarian yelled. "I'll see that you never work in this sector again!"  
>"Yeah, yeah, get a move on."<br>"You! Shepard! I demand you place this bitch under arrest!"  
>"You have the right to remain silent. I wish to God you'd exercise it." She have him a shove. "See you around the galaxy, Commander. I owe you a beer!"<br>She dragged him out the door and out of sight.

"Great. Now that we're done doing everyone else's job's let's get on with ours." They left the now empty office, and walked back into the main area.  
>"If I never see this room again, I'll be a happy man." Kaidan said, to no one in particular.<br>"I know what you mean." Garrus responded. "It really makes me miss the Citadel."  
>"This isn't how you pictured your dream home, Alenko?" Shepard asked sarcastically.<br>"No, Ma'am. When I muster out, I'm going back to Vancouver. Build a cabin out on one of the islands, settle down." _I'm starting to want to take you with me._  
>"That sounds nice." She said, almost wistfully.<br>"You don't have any plans for life after the Marines?"  
>"I don't expect there to be life after the Marines.' She said with a laugh. "I was pretty much assuming I'd go out in a giant blaze of glory." <em>I will not let that happen. Ever.<em>

By this time, they had reached the garage. Shepard flashed the pass at the guards, and they walked in.  
>"So." Kaidan looked around. "A raging snowstorm, and all transportation cut off. How are we going to get to-"<br>He stopped when he saw where the Commander was looking. A Mako sat parked in the corner. Shepard grinned and started walking towards it.  
>"Oh, hell."<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

"Are we allowed to take this?" Kaidan asked as Shepard climbed into the Mako.  
>"They let us into the garage! How else would they expect us to leave?" She grinned at him. "Let's go, Lieutenant. We are just borrowing it. We'll bring it back when we're done."<br>He rolled his eyes at her as she disappeared into the transport, and then waited for Garrus to come up beside him.  
>"Hey, Garrus, do Turians get motion sickness?" He said softly.<br>"Some do, I've never had a problem with it." Garrus tilted his head, and his eyes narrowed. "Is there something I should know about the Commander's driving?"  
>"Just, hold on." Kaidan climbed up the side of the Mako, and dropped in, followed by Garrus.<br>"Hurry up!" Shepard called back at them. "I want to get out of this place as soon as possible. I feel unclean."  
>Kaidan strapped in at the radar station, and gave Shepard thumbs up. Garrus sealed the hatch, and moved back to the gunnery station. The squad all secure, Shepard maneuvered the Mako out of the garage and into the blizzard.<p>

The combination of roaring wind and uneven ground caused the transport to bounce wildly. Kaidan closed his eyes and let his head fall back against his headrest. So it was going to be a bumpy ride. But how was that different from Shepard's usual driving? A particularly large bump jerked his head towards his small porthole, and he opened his eyes to look out at the storm.  
>"The snow is coming down so hard, I can only see about 10 feet out there!" He said. "It looks like the world just stops."<br>"Um." Came the small voice of Shepard from the front. "That's because it does. That's the cliff edge, Alenko."  
>"What."<br>"Just don't look at it. We'll be fine." She turned around and grinned at him. "Besides, You should be watching the radar."  
>"And you should be watching where we are going!" Kaidan shouted in panic. "Oh. I'm- Sorry. Commander. I didn't mean-" He buried his face in his hands. Regardless of her casual attitude towards crew bonding, she still was his commanding officer, and he had just yelled at her. Thankfully, she just laughed.<br>"Are you afraid of heights, Lieutenant?" She turned her attention back to driving. "Isn't that odd for a marine who works in space?"  
>"I'm not afraid of heights." He said quietly.<br>"I can't understand you when you mumble!"  
>"I'm not afraid of heights! I just don't want to die in a fiery crash!"<br>"He does have a point, Commander." Garrus pointed out. "It does look to be a long way down."  
>"Fine. I'll hug the inside edge. Everyone happy?"<p>

They drove in silence until Kaidan spotted something on the radar screen.  
>"There's definitely something inorganic out there. It's not giving off any heat or electrical signals though." Shepard slowed the Mako to a crawl as they rounded the corner. Another Mako was on its side, half covered by the blowing snow.<br>"What the hell?" Shepard frowned as she looked out her window. "Why would someone just leave this here?"  
>Kaidan stared at his screen as it flickered. The Mako they had <em>borrowed<em> had obviously not been upgraded or repaired in several months. He thumped it on the side, and the picture cleared.  
>"Oh hell." He muttered. "Shepard! We have incoming Geth!"<br>Shepard stomped on the gas, causing the transport to shoot forward dangerously close to the cliff edge. As she frantically maneuvered it away from the drop off, Garrus tried his best to target the Geth, and after a few breathless moments, they were heading straight towards the enemy, guns blazing.  
>The small Geth were no match for the Mako's rockets, and soon the squad was barreling past their lifeless wreckage.<br>"Okay. Let's review what we've got so far." Shepard said. "Evil Asari Matriarch. Check. Unknown number of Asari Commandos. Check. Unknown number of Geth. Check." She sighed loudly. "This is going to be really special. I can tell already."  
>Kaidan and Garrus exchanged a glance. Shepard had always been slightly sarcastic, but this was bordering on a whole new level of snark. It was probably best to not say anything, and let her focus on driving.<br>The next ten minutes were thankfully uneventful; they stayed away from the cliff edge and didn't see any more Geth. Just as the cold was starting to seep through the Mako walls they arrived at Peak 15.

Shepard parked the Mako in a large garage, and they waited for the door behind to close behind them before climbing out. Shepard flipped up the visor on her helmet and looked around. Kaidan and Garrus followed suit, the air was cold and stale, but breathable.  
>"This place almost makes me miss the lava planet." Kaidan said, watching the air fog as he spoke. Shepard gave a short laugh.<br>They opened a door on the far end that lead them into a half empty warehouse, and the squad crept in cautiously.  
>"Keep your eyes peeled for more Geth." Shepard muttered. "I don't trust this place. I don't want to be surprised by any of our mechanical friends."<br>Almost to illustrate her point, a scuffling noise came from a vent somewhere overhead, and then went eerily quiet.  
>"Or whatever the hell that was."<br>"Rats?" Kaidan ventured.  
>"Do they have rats on this planet?"<br>"Ok, space rats."  
>They all jumped as a disembodied voice echoed through the warehouse.<br>"USER ALERT. All Peak 15 facilities have suffered a great deal of damage. Biohazard materials present throughout facility. Virtual Intelligence user interface offline. NOTE. Trams are offline."  
>"Well that was friendly." Shepard said. "I guess we need to get the trams back online. There only seems to be one other door, so lets head that way." She took off through the small door she had indicated; where two stationary turrets occupied the short hallway.<br>Kaidan stopped and stared at the turrets, he felt like something about them wasn't right.  
>"Well this is incredibly sinister." He said.<br>"What's going on?" Garrus came up next to him and studied the turrets as well. "Oh. Shepard, you should take note of this."  
>She stood at the end of the hall, ready to press on. Hands on her hips, she spun around with an irritated groan, and froze when she noticed the turrets were pointing at her, instead of back at the exit.<br>"It looks like they want to keep their people in, as much as they want to keep other people out." Garrus noted.  
>"What the hell is going on here?" Shepard said. "Let's keep moving. I want to find the Matriarch and get out of here as soon as possible."<br>They left the small hallway, and boarded the nearby elevator.  
>"I'm really starting to hate elevators." Kaidan muttered.<br>"At least this one doesn't have that horrible music like the ones on the Citadel." Garrus responded.  
>"I could hum it for you, if you miss it." Shepard said, glancing back over her shoulder, she smiled wickedly. Kaidan felt his face go hot, and was thankful she was looking at Garrus and not him. Her cheeks were pink from the chill, and it seemed to make the fading bruises under her eyes stand out more. It was somehow endearing, and made him very confused. How could she look vulnerable and at the same time like she would kick your ass? He was never sure how to act around her, and the longer this whole mission was going to go on, the worse these feelings were going to get.<p>

The elevator doors opened to bitter cold. Somehow, snow had gotten into this part of station and piled up around the walls.  
>"Damn." Kaidan said. "It's a bit nippy in here."<br>"Nippy?" Shepard laughed, and Garrus looked confused.  
>"What does that mean?"<br>"Alenko, don't answer that." Shepard was still grinning as they entered another large snow filled room. It slowly slid off her face as they took in the scene before them. A squad of Geth lay scattered around the room, their corpses mangled and torn. "What the hell happened in here?"  
>Kaidan walked over to examine one of the Geth. There was a large hole in what used to be its torso. He was about to say something when the scuffling noise returned.<br>"What was that?" Shepard whispered, pulling out her assault rifle. She backed up against a nearby wall, scanning the room carefully.

A high-pitched squeal echoed through the room, and before the squad could react, several creatures that looked like overgrown shrimp burst through a nearby door.  
>"Open fire!" Shepard screamed as the creatures rushed towards them. She and Garrus mowed down the first three, while Kaidan grabbed the last one with his biotics. He gave it a tug, and sent it floating over their heads. Garrus shot it as it passed him, and they all watched as it limply hit the far wall, and slide to the floor.<p>

Garrus walked over and crouched next to one of the creatures. He examined it curiously while muttering to himself. Shepard glanced at Kaidan, her eyes wide with confusion. She holstered her rifle and walked over to the Turian.  
>"Garrus? Do you know what these are?" She leaned over his shoulder to look at the corpse. Kaidan felt a flash of jealousy, and mentally kicked himself for it. <em>Dammit, focus on the big, scaly problem at hand. <em>  
>"Commander, I think these are Rachni."<br>"You have got to be fucking kidding me." Shepard spat the words out, and put her hands on her head.  
>"Well, so much for no surprises on this mission." Kaidan said, staring at the tangled mess of limbs and antenna. "I thought they were wiped out hundreds of years ago."<br>"They were." Garrus said softly.  
>"Right. We are getting out of this room. Now." Shepard took off running towards a door on the other side of the room. "I don't want to be here if more show up."<br>The door lead them to another elevator, and they stood in silence as it carried them up. Kaidan wondered if they were as confused as he was. Wrapping his brain around what had just happened was going to take some time. He leaned forward and peered at Shepard. She was staring at the floor, biting her thumbnail. The doors opened as he tried to remember if he had ever seen her do that before.

The high-pitched squealing noise greeted them again as the elevator doors opened. A wave of miniature Rachni swarmed towards them. Their size made them hard to hit, and one made it through the gunfire. It ran up between Shepard and Kaidan, squealed loudly, and exploded. The force knocked them over, and covered their legs in green sticky goo.  
>"I can't decide if that was more gross or annoying." Shepard said, picking herself up off the floor. She shook her head, and looked around. "Great, that looks like the power junction. Alenko, can you get that working?"<br>Kaidan opened the back panel, and stared at the controls for a few moments.  
>"This should do it…" He said as he flipped a few switches. The lights flickered, and the disembodied voice came back over the speakers.<br>"CRITICAL STARTUP ERROR. Virtual Intelligence user interface offline. Manual boot required. NOTE. Trams are offline."  
>"Or not." He shrugged at Shepard. "I guess we need to find the main data center."<br>"That looks promising." Garrus pointed down the hall at a well-lit room where a soft humming noise indicated working machinery. The room was round, and housed a smaller circle with what appeared to be the server. Kaidan stepped inside and looked for the control panel. It was strange; the only terminal seemed to be an elevator control.  
>"Alenko, what's taking so long?" Shepard stepped in behind him. "I thought you were my tech genius."<br>"I think the server controls are below us. I'm trying to figure out how to get down there." Shepard raised her eyebrows and glanced at the button in front of him. "Yes, I see it. I'm just concerned about the stability of the system."  
>"Well we are stuck here until you reboot the system, so we are just going to have to take the risk." She reached over him and pressed the button. The floor dropped. As the walls rushed passed them, Kaidan grabbed Shepard and pulled her in towards him to keep them both in the center. A few seconds later, they were at the bottom of a hole about 50 feet deep. The jolt of the sudden stop sent them both crashing to the floor. Kaidan stared up at Garrus's head leaning out over the edge above them.<br>"Commander! Are you okay down there?"  
>Shepard quickly untangled herself from Kaidan, and stood up.<br>"We're fine! Be up in a minute!" She looked around the small, dark area. "Somehow."  
>Kaidan used the wall to pull himself up. He was taking a lot of bruising on this mission. Next to Shepard, a small glowing panel seemed to be the most logical place to start working. He stepped up and opened the console.<br>"Can you fix it?" Shepard stayed leaning up on the wall next to the panel. The blue glow of the screen gave her battered face a strange softness. He had to look away, seeing her like that brought too many thoughts to the front of his mind, and he needed to concentrate on the task at hand.  
>"I just have to reconfigure the core. It will take a minute of moving data, but its not very complicated."<br>"Good." She leaned her head back against the wall. "Where did you learn to be so good with computers?"  
>"In basic training. Do you remember when we had the option of taking classes or running the assault course again?"<br>"Assault course." She raised her hand.  
>"I took the classes. They were basic tech skills, and I guess I just took to it well. Computers are just easy for me to figure out." <em>Unlike you. <em>He finished moving the last of the data. "That should do it."  
>"CORE REACTIVATED." The voice boomed. "Please standby for system reboot." The panel beeped loudly, and then all of the lights went out.<p>

"Great." Shepard muttered. "Now we are not only at the bottom of a hole, but we are at the bottom of a hole in the dark."  
>"I'm worried the system is going to take us back up with as much speed as it brought us down." Kaidan reached out for her in the darkness. "We should stand near the center again in case that happens."<br>He felt her hand take his, and they made their way to the center of the small room. She stood mere inches away from him; he could hear her breathing, feel the warmth coming off her. If she had been any other girl, and if they had been in any other place, this would have been the perfect time to lean forward and kiss her. _But if she were any other girl, I wouldn't want to. _ He snickered quietly at his own stupidity.  
>"Alenko, this moment is awkward enough, please stop laughing." Her voice sounded strange, breathy and pleading.<br>"Sorry, Commander."  
>They continued to stand in silence for what felt like an eternity, until the lights flickered on and the lift started moving. It wasn't as fast as their descent, but it was still faster than any elevator should have been. Before they reached the top, Kaidan happened to catch a glimpse of Shepard's face. Now that it wasn't lit with that blue light, it almost looked like she was blushing. It must just be the bruising, and the angle of her face. Or maybe she was embarrassed by how awkward that moment was. <em>You've been having a lot of awkward moments with her. <em>

Garrus exhaled loudly as they stepped out of the server room.  
>"Glad to have you back, Commander. Kaidan." He pointed behind them. "It looks like the VI is booting up."<br>Kaidan turned back around. Sure enough, the holographic figure of a woman was flickering on.  
>"It looks like you are trying to restore this facility." She spoke with the same voice they had been hearing throughout Peak 15. "Would you like help?"<br>"Help would be great." Shepard said, cautiously. "Who are you?"  
>"This system is monitored to respond to the name Mira. May I ask your name?"<br>"Commander Shepard. I work for the Citadel Special Tactics and Reconnaissance."  
>"One moment please. Council authority confirmed. You are entitled to secure access of all systems. Please note that queries relating to corporate secrets require privileged access. Privileged access is only available to Binary Helix executives. This system is ready to process queries. You may access me at any holographic interface within Peak 15."<br>"I need to find Matriarch Benezia."  
>"Lady Benezia departed on the passenger tramway to the Rift Station Subsidiary labs. USER ALERT. The Tramway system is currently inoperable."<br>"What's the situation here?"  
>"One moment please. Diagnostics in progress. CRITICAL FAILURE. Main reactor shutdown in accordance with emergency containment procedures. Manual restart required."<br>"Of course it is." Shepard groaned.  
>"CRITICAL FAILURE. Landline connections are disabled. Passenger tram systems are offline. Report complete."<br>Shepard turned around to face Kaidan and Garrus.  
>"Ok, I guess we need to repair the landlines, and restart the main reactor to get the trams moving." She lightly punched Kaidan in the shoulder. "Glad I brought you along today, Alenko."<br>"The map I downloaded to my eye piece says we need to go back the way we came and to the left to get to the main reactor fuel lines. Then up to the roof to reconnect the land lines." Garrus pointed, and the squad took off jogging. They were halfway down a long hallway when the sound of gunfire made them pick up their speed. As they entered a large open room, Shepard stopped suddenly, causing Kaidan and Garrus to crash into her. They all stared as they watched Geth and Rachni fighting each other on the raised walkways.  
>"This is not something I ever thought I would see." Garrus said, his mouth open.<br>"Understatement of the year, Garrus." Shepard tilted her head to the side. "Lets stay really quiet, and let them kill each other." They snuck behind a large crate, and waited until the gunfire stopped.

When they stood, the Rachni were dead. Two Geth troopers had their backs to the squad, and were easily dispatched. They made their way into the room cautiously, and looked for the fuel lines. Kaidan stopped, and held up his hand for everyone to stay quiet. A gentle hissing noise came from the center of the room.  
>"There it is. The AT3 fuel line's been cut." He ran over to a tower of electronics.<br>"Can you repair it?" Shepard was right behind him.  
>"Yeah, just give me a moment." The cut was clean, and would be easily repaired. He reached into the small pouch on his pistol holder and pulled out a small roll of electrical tape. He lined up the hoses and wrapped the tape around it. "That should hold it as long as we need it to." He looked up to Shepard staring at him.<br>"You carry around electrical tape?"  
>"It came in handy, didn't it?"<br>She shrugged as the voice of Mira filled the room, echoing off the walls.  
>"CRITICAL FAILURE. Landline connections are disabled. Passenger tram systems are offline."<br>"I wonder if the trams are offline. Anyone have an input on that?" Shepard looked around. "No?"  
>Kaidan and Garrus exchanged a look, and followed her back out to the main hallway. Just as they were entering it, one of the grates in the far corner flew into the air as a Rachni burst out. It stabbed at them with its long antennae, before succumbing to the gunfire.<br>"We should watch out for those antennae, they look sharp." Garrus commented as they passed by it. "That's probably what tore up the Geth back where we came in."  
>Shepard nodded as they got onto another elevator.<br>"I'm hoping to avoid them completely for the rest of the time we are here." Shepard absentmindedly pressed the elevator button, even though they were in motion already. "I am really starting to dislike this planet."

The doors opened onto the roof of the complex. The driving wind blew snow sideways at them, and the squad frantically shut the visors on their helmets. Through the snow, several small figures came into view, heading straight towards them. They opened fire on the Rachni, trying frantically to destroy them before they could blow themselves up. A few still got through, but the squad was better prepared, and able to brace themselves on the wall behind them. Once the attack was over, they searched the rooftop for the landline connections.  
>"Alenko! Garrus! I've found them over here!" Shepard waved him over. "It looks like they just pop back in." Kaidan helped her lift the power line and plug it in. As the connection was made, Mira's voice came on again.<br>"CRITICAL FAILURE. Main reactor shutdown in accordance with emergency containment procedures. Manual restart required."  
>"We. Know." Shepard said through gritted teeth.<br>"CRITICAL FAILURE. Passenger tram systems are offline."  
>"I wonder if we can shut the VI back off."<br>They got back into the elevator, and waited for the door to shut before raising their visors again.  
>"You know what I hate?" Kaidan said absently.<br>"Elevators?" Garrus suggested.  
>"Besides that. I really hate those little explody Rachni."<br>"More than the giant stabby ones?" Shepard asked, a small smile replacing the scowl she had been wearing.  
>"Good point."<p>

They returned to Mira's station, and stood outside of the small circle.  
>"Alenko, can we reboot the reactor without going in there again?"<br>"The VI can probably do it for us."  
>"Great." Shepard turned towards the holographic woman. "Mira, reboot the main reactor."<br>"One moment. Rebooting reactor." She flickered as the lights did, but thankfully they stayed on. "Main reactor rebooted. One moment please. Diagnostics in progress. No errors detected. Report complete."  
>"About time. Lets get to the tram and the Rift Station!" They entered the door that had previously been locked down, and followed the hallway to yet another elevator.<br>Kaidan was about to mention his hatred of elevators again, when Mira's voice interrupted his thoughts.  
>"Now entering decontamination and transit hub." Shepard gave a small sigh.<br>"Well, at least she doesn't have anything bad to say-"  
>"USER ALERT."<br>"Sonofabitch."  
>"Loose contaminants in the decontamination chamber. Access to passenger tramways inadvisable." The elevator was slowing.<br>"Visors down now!" Shepard yelled. Kaidan was just clicking his into place when the doors opened. The hallway lead them out into a spacious terminal with a high glass celling and long comfortable looking benches. Kaidan fought the urge to sit down. The tram was right ahead of them, and he could sit down there. They climbed aboard, and as if it had been waiting for them, the doors shut, and the tram departed for the Rift Station. Kaidan collapsed into a seat, and then looked over at Shepard on the other side.  
>"Commander?"<br>"Alenko?"  
>"Did we have a plan for what we do when we find the Matriarch?"<br>The tram fell silent, only the rushing wind as they sped through the mountains.  
>"Honestly, I figured we should assess the situation, and then make a decision from there."<br>"So we don't have a plan."  
>"Not exactly."<br>"Great."  
>"Frankly, even if I did have a plan, it's totally out the window now. Asari Commandos? Geth? Rachni? What the hell?"<br>"Touché."  
>He turned his head to stare out the window, the snowcapped peaks looked like a place he had vacationed with his family once as a child. He let himself slip into the warmth of that memory as they rocketed towards uncertainty.<p>

(A/N this chapter really did not want to get written for some reason. But it did. Take that, procrastination!)


	10. Chapter 10

(A/N changed a bit of the story around here, mainly because I'm ready to get off this planet.)

CHAPTER 10

90 minutes later, the tram slid into the Rift Station with a hiss. Kaidan looked around the cabin as he stood up, Garrus was tucked into a corner looking miserable, and Shepard was asleep.  
>"Are you alright?" He asked the shivering Turian.<br>"I hate being cold." Garrus responded. "My home planet is volcanic, so I am not enjoying this at all. I wish I had gone on the mission to the lava planet you mentioned earlier."  
>They walked over to Shepard, and stopped in front of her. She was leaning up against a small barrier, her eyes closed, her face peaceful.<br>"I almost feel bad about waking her up." Garrus said.  
>"Yeah, but you know how badly she wants off this planet." Kaidan leaned forward carefully and placed his hand on her shoulder. She let out a soft sigh and lowered her head so it rested on his hand. He looked back at Garrus, eyes wide with panic.<br>"What do I do?" He hissed.  
>"Stop enjoying it and wake her up?"<br>Kaidan nodded and leaned forward again.  
>"Commander? Commander, we've arrived at the Rift Station. Its time to go."<br>Her eyes flew open.  
>"I'm awake!" She saw his hand and stood up quickly, almost knocking him over. "Right. Lets go find the Matriarch." She shook her head, and stumbled out of the tram. Garrus followed her, softly chuckling at Kaidan as he passed. <em>Great.<em>

Kaidan left the tram, and again, as if it sensed their departure, the doors hissed closed behind him. Thankfully, it didn't leave the station; it sat, waiting for their inevitable return. He joined the rest of the squad in the center of the tram station. There were only two doors to choose from, and one appeared to be on lockdown.  
>"Well, I guess that narrows our choices down significantly." Garrus said. He walked over to the unlocked door and stood in front of it, waiting for it to open. Surprisingly, it stayed shut.<br>"Garrus, stand to the side for a second." Shepard said, coming up behind him. Kaidan followed them both to stand next to the door. Shepard reached over cautiously and pressed the emergency door release. As the door slid open, an explosion of gunfire greeted them, firing into the space where Garrus had been standing earlier.  
>"More Geth?" Kaidan asked in a hoarse whisper. Shepard shook her head.<br>"I hear voices. The Geth don't talk. I think they might be on our side."  
>"If they're not, I can send in a biotic blast to knock them over if we need to rush the door."<br>"Good to know. Let me try something first." Shepard scooted along the wall towards the open door. "Alliance Marines!" She yelled, leaning towards the opening. "Hold your fire!" The gunfire stopped, and an agitated voice called back.  
>"Get the hell in here and shut the goddamn door behind you!"<p>

The squad rushed through the door, pressing the door release on the other side to let it close, and entered a large room full of weary security guards. A bald man with large bags under his eyes walked up to them and shook Shepard's hand.  
>"I'm Captain Ventralis." He said, his voice identifying him as the one who had answered them. "Sorry, we couldn't be sure what was on the tram."<br>"I'd only be upset if they had hit us."  
>"Look, you're human, and that's enough that we won't shoot at you again, but I'd like to know who you are."<br>"My name's Shepard, I'm a Spectre."  
>"Huh. I won't look a heavily armed horse in the mouth. The aliens overran the hot labs last week. Only Han Olar got out, and he ain't all there any more. The first we knew, the bastards were clawing into my command post. We had a lot more staff then." He looked around the room at his remaining men, and sighed dejectedly.<br>"You did well to stay alive this long. Those things are nasty."  
>"The board sent an Asari to clean up the mess. She went to the hot labs yesterday. We haven't heard from her since."<br>"Benezia." Shepard sounded relieved. "Is she still over there?"  
>"I don't know. I don't see what one person could do. There's an emergency elevator out by the trams. This card will let you activate it. It can take you down to the hot labs." Shepard took the card and nodded. She turned like she was going to walk away, then hesitated and turned back to the Captain.<br>"Tell me about the defenses here."  
>"Secure enough that you shouldn't poke in corners."<br>"I just wanted to offer some deployment advice. You're lucky these things are dumb animals. Three coordinated guys could take this place. Hell, my Lieutenant could have had you all on your asses in under ten seconds." She jerked her head back towards Kaidan, who had to force a smile off his face.  
>"Have you checked the layout yet? Easily defensible by a few people. That's not counting the automated defenses."<br>"Just keep in mind what I said. But now you need to get your people out of here. The path to the tram is clear, get everyone on board and wait for us there." This time she did turn and walk away. The squad regrouped on the far end of the room, away from the Captain and his security guards. "That was the first person on this planet to do something helpful without making us run their errands first. I figured they could use a little help." She gave a small smile and glanced back at the Captain. For all his talk of automatic defenses, he was definitely changing the structure of his squad layout.  
>"Ready to do this?" Kaidan asked, as they walked back out to the tram lobby. Shepard paused in front of the locked door to the hot labs.<br>"I've been ready since we landed on this stupid planet." She used the card to unlock the door, and they stepped on board the small elevator. Shepard sighed loudly and pressed the button. "And now I'm ready to get off this stupid planet."

The elevator doors opened a minute later to reveal a pissed off looking Asari and several Geth.  
>"Your mission ends here, Shepard." She snarled.<br>"What the hell?" Kaidan muttered to himself. Shepard turned towards him, but still kept her eyes on the Asari.  
>"You work for the Matriarch?" Shepard said, slowly reaching for her pistol. <em>Those won't make it through her biotic shielding. I need to get her on the ground somehow. <em>  
>"You're not as stupid as you look." The woman responded. "Weapons free!"<br>Garrus and Shepard dove for cover as the Geth opened fire. Kaidan used all the power he had to fling several crates into the air. He brought his hands together, and they all came crashing down on the Asari commando. He collapsed against the wall, and slide down to the floor, exhausted. He watched as Garrus and Shepard sprang up and took out the remaining Geth. As soon as the mechanical creatures were down, Shepard ran over to him, while Garrus went to go check out the Asari.  
>"Kaidan! Are you hit?" She knelt down beside him, a look of concern on her face. He looked up and her and smiled lazily.<br>"No, Commander. I'm not hit. I just used a lot of power very quickly." He tried to stand up, but his legs rebelled. "It will take me a minute to regain some of it back. I'm sorry. I know you wanted to move on."  
>"Lieutenant, you just dropped a crate on an Asari commando. I think we can give you a few minutes." She shifted, and sat down next to him. He felt the pressure of her arm against his, but the armor they wore prevented him from feeling her warmth. "Garrus, is she dead?"<br>"I hope so, there's a large crate on her head." He called back. Shepard turned back to Kaidan.  
>"We are staying here until you are ready. Not ready to stand up, but ready to fight. I feel like there is a big fight coming, and I want to make sure I can count on you in combat."<br>"You can always count on me, Commander." He said, holding her gaze.  
>"It would be rather undignified if you fainted in battle." Garrus said drying, standing over them. Kaidan glared at him. "This seems to be the only way in and out, so resting here is not going to do any damage to the mission. Whether we go in or they come out, we are going to encounter the Matriarch."<br>They sat behind a pile of crates for another half hour while Kaidan recovered his strength. In that time, they came up with a plan in case they encountered more commandos, crate dropping being a last resort. Finally, he braced himself on the wall and stood up.  
>"Ready to go?" Shepard said, standing up beside him. He flared up his biotics around his hand, letting the soft blue glow play over his fingers. He snapped his fingers, calling his power back, and nodded. The squad double-checked the area, making sure they had all of their things, and finally headed into the hot labs.<p>

The lights were low in the large room, but several shapes were visible, moving in the darkness. As they equipped their firearms, a woman's voice, old and full of power, called out to them.  
>"You do not know the privilege of being a mother. There is power in creation. To shape a life. Turn it towards happiness or despair." A regal looking Asari stepped out of the shadows, and gestured back towards a large tank. "Her children were to be ours. Raised to hunt and slay Saren's enemies." The woman's face was hard, her eyes cold.<br>"Oh, shit." Shepard muttered. In the tank was a Rachni ten times larger than the ones they had been fighting earlier.  
>"Have you faced an Asari Commando unit before? Few humans have."<br>"Is there going to be any peaceful way of resolving this?"  
>Benezia's eyes narrowed, and she shot a biotic pulse at Shepard. It knocked the Commander back against a railing, the blue lightning crawling across her face. Kaidan grabbed her arm and pulled her behind a large crate, out of site of the commando unit that was entering the room. The Matriarch biotics felt to him like an annoying sting, so it must have really been hurting Shepard. As if she could read his mind, she gave a small gasp of pain, then bit her lip and shook it off as the glow faded.<br>Everyone okay?" Garrus yelled as he covered them.  
>"I think I like your biotics better, Alenko." Shepard gasped, as she steadied herself.<br>"I wasn't trying to kill you with mine." He muttered at her, as he peered over the top of the crate.  
>"True." She said, and burst out of cover, taking down two Asari with her assault rifle. As they fought the commandos, Benezia was expelling huge amounts of biotic power to throw crates at them. <em>She must be wearing down. I'd have used all of my power <em>_several times over by now. _

Finally, they made there way through the waves of commandos to face the Matriarch. As he had suspected, she was crouched on the floor, her breaths short and ragged.  
>"This is not over. Saren is unstoppable. My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear."<br>"The Rachni didn't cooperate with you. Why should I?" Benezia stood, and turned to face the squad.  
>"I will not betray him. You will… you…" She staggered against a small table, and caught herself. When she looked up again, her face had lost its hardness, and her voice came softer. "You must listen. Saren still whispers in my mind. I can fight his compulsions. Briefly. But the indoctrination is strong."<br>"So you could turn on me again." Shepard had not lowered her rifle.  
>"Yes. But it would not be my will, Shepard. People are not themselves around Saren. You come to idolize him. Worship him. You would do anything for him. The key is Sovereign, his flagship. It is a dreadnought of incredible size and its power is extraordinary. "<br>"Sovereign's not like other ships. Where did it come from?"  
>"I cannot say. The Geth did not build it. Its technology is far more advanced than that of any known species." Kaidan and Garrus exchanged a quick glance. That did not sound good in any way. "The longer you stay aboard, the more Saren's will seems correct. You sit at his feet and smile as his words pour into you. It is subtle at first. I thought I was strong enough to resist. Instead, I became a willing tool, eager to serve. He sent me here to find the location of the Mu Relay. Its position was lost thousands of years ago."<br>"How does something that big go missing?" Shepard remained cautious, always keeping distance and her gun between herself and Benezia.  
>"Four thousand years ago, a star nearby went supernova. The shockwave propelled the relay out of its system, but did not damage it. Its precise vector and speed are impossible to determine. As millennia passed, the nebula created by the nova enveloped the relay. It is difficult to find any cold object in interstellar space. Particularly something swathed in hot dust and radiation."<br>"Someone on Noveria found it?"  
>"Two thousand years ago, the Rachni inhabited that region of our galaxy. They discovered the relay. The Rachni can share memories across generations; Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I took the location of the relay from the queen's mind. I was not gentle."<br>Shepard stepped back away from the tank holding the Rachni queen. She looked at Benezia suspiciously, as if she expected the Asari to unleash the giant creature at any second.  
>"How did the Rachni find it?"<br>"They searched, patiently. They are territorial creatures, driven to close any possible way into their systems."  
>"Why does Saren need the Mu Relay?"<br>"He believes it will lead him to the Conduit. I would tell you more if I could, but Saren did not share his counsel with me. I was merely a servant to his cause."  
>"You can still make it right. Give me the information."<br>"I was not myself, but- I should have been stronger." She walked towards them, arm outstretched. "I transcribed the data to an OSD. Take it. Please." Shepard did not lower her gun, but gestured towards Kaidan with her head. He walked up next to her, and took the OSD from Benezia.  
>"Knowing the relay's coordinates is not enough." He said as he stepped back. "Do you know where he planned to go from there?"<br>"Saren wouldn't tell me his destination. But you must find out quickly. I transmitted the coordinates to him before you arrived. You have to stop- me. I can't- his teeth are at my ear. Fingers on my spine. You should- uh, you should-" She turned away and leaned on the small table. Her biotics flared like a super nova, and she spun back around. Her face had regained its hardness, and she scowled at them. "-Die!"

Shepard fired her assault rifle until it overheated. The constant fire had disrupted the Matriarch biotics, and she now lay crumpled against the Rachni Queen's tank, bleeding heavily.  
>"I cannot go on." Her voice came in large gasps. "You will have to stop him."<br>Shepard knelt down beside her.  
>"Hold on. We have medi-gel! Maybe we can-"<br>"NO! He is still in my mind. I am not entirely myself. I never will be again." Her head drooped to the side, but her eyes stayed fixed on Shepard. "Do you have my girl? My Liara?"  
>"She's safe on our ship."<br>Benezia smiled as her eyes lowered to the floor.  
>"No light. They always said there would be-" She slumped over, took one last horribly ragged breath, and was still.<p>

"When we get back to the Normandy," Shepard said quietly. "Let me tell Liara about this in private."  
>They turned to leave, and were suddenly faced with the macabre sight of a formerly dead Asari commando lurching at them like a poorly controlled marionette. Kaidan drew his pistol, but it strangely did not seem to be interested in them. Instead, it lumbered over to the edge of the Rachni Queen's tank, leaned against the glass, and slowly turned towards them. As the squad leaned forward to investigate, a large antenna slammed up against the inside of the glass next to the walking corpse. The Asari's head lazily lifted, its eyes were open, staring into nothingness. A voice came from it, but it was not the voice of an Asari. It was ancient, lyrical, and confused.<br>"This one. Serves as our voice. We cannot sing. Not in these low spaces. Your musics are colorless."  
>"Our musics? I don't understand."<br>"Your way of communicating is strange. Flat. It does not color the air. When we speak, one moves all. We are the mother. We sing for those left behind. The children you thought silenced." Shepard walked past the dead Asari and placed her hand against the tank. "We are Rachni."  
>"How are you speaking though her?" Shepard's voice sounded genuinely curious. Kaidan and Garrus stepped up alongside her to peer into the tank.<br>"Our kind sing through touchings of thought. We pluck the strings, and the other understands. She is weak to urging. She has colors we have no names for. But she is ending. Her music is bittersweet. It is beautiful." The Asari's head flopped to the side to look at Shepard. "The children we birthed were stolen from us before they could learn to sing. They are lost to silence. End their suffering. They will only cause harm as they are."  
>"What's wrong with them?"<br>"These needle men. They stole our eggs from us. They sought to turn our children into beasts of war. Claws with no songs of their own. Our elders are comfortable with silence. Children only know fear if no one sings to them. Fear has shattered their minds."  
>"Makes sense." Garrus said. "A child left alone in a closet until he's sixteen won't be sane."<br>Kaidan glanced over at Shepard. What he could see of her face was pale. _It's not talking about her. Her life was different, she's not insane. _  
>"If you're certain." She said, in a quiet voice.<br>"It is lamentable, but necessary. Do what you must. Before you deal with our children, we stand before you. What will you sing? Will you release us? Are we to fade away once more?"  
>Kaidan looked around the general area, and noticed several small tanks attached to the large one. He took a moment to study the labels.<br>"Commander, those tanks on her enclosure? They're acid. Strong enough to dissolve any living creature. They must have installed them for a reason." He leaned in closer, his face inches from hers. "They made a mistake. They let the Krogan go too far. This is a chance for us to atone. She has done nothing to us."  
>"Your companion hears the truth. You have the power to free us, or return our people to the silence of memory."<br>"Are you a survivor from the war? A clone?" Shepard walked towards the front of the enclosure, where the Queen's head was.  
>"We do not know." The limp Asari's head turned to follow Shepard. "We were only an egg, hearing Mother cry in our dreams. A tone from space hushed one voice after another. It forced to singers to resonate with its own sour yellow note. Then we awoke in this place. The last echo of those who came out from the Singing Planet. The sky is silent."<br>"If I let you live, would you attack other races again?"  
>"No. We- I do not know what happened in the war." The great creature shuddered in its tank. "We only heard discordance, songs the color of oily shadows. We would seek a hidden place to teach our children harmony. If they understand, perhaps we would return."<br>Shepard stepped back away from the tank, and slowly walked over to a glowing control panel. She ran her fingers lightly over the buttons, and then turned back to the Rachni Queen.  
>"I won't destroy your entire race. You'll go free."<br>"You will give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children."  
>Shepard pressed down on the console, and the tank opened. The Queen stared at them for a few moments, then made her exit. Almost immediately, loud sirens started going off.<br>"A few minutes ago this place was crawling with Asari commandos and Rachni." Kaidan commented as they headed out of the lab. "The alarms are just going off now?"  
>"To be fair, we did just release a giant bug monster." Garrus said, coming up alongside him.<br>"Good point."

When they reached to room where the original commando attack had happened, Shepard stopped and looked around carefully.  
>"As much as I want to leave now, we promised the Queen we would take care of the rest of the Rachni here. There's a door over there, lets check that room out."<br>"I don't see a door." Kaidan said, scanning the room.  
>"Its behind that pile of crates."<br>"Oh. I'll move them." He carefully picked up the boxes one at a time and floated them over to the side. Shepard watched him carefully the whole time, her face curious as she watched him use his biotics. Finally the door was revealed, and they entered another large room. It was empty of crates and equipment, but was occupied by a lone man sitting at a table. They approached him cautiously; Kaidan kept his hand on his pistol in case anything seemed off.  
>"Are you here to secure the situation?" the man said in with a heavy accent. <em>What is that, Russian? <em>  
>"That's right. I'm a council Spectre. Who are you?"<br>"I am Yaroslev Tartakovsky." _Yup. Russian. _Kaidan mentally high fived himself, and then mentally kicked himself for thinking something so stupid. "I am the operations director. ˆ would stand and shake hands but, uh…" His voice trailed off as he stared past them. He shook his head and continued. "If we do not contain our mistake, they will drop bombs from the battle station. You understand."  
>"What do we need to do?"<br>"I am thinking the Neutron Purge must be set off."  
>Shepard looked back at Kaidan and Garrus, who shrugged at her.<br>"I'm not familiar with the purge system." She said warily.  
>"It creates a burst of neutron radiation. Kills everything within the station."<br>"How do we set off the purge?"  
>"Arming controls are nearby. All you do is insert the key. Then I will give Mira destruct code-" He jerked forward, eyes bulging as the sharp end of a Rachni antenna burst through his chest. The creature flung him to the side where he lay crumpled against the wall. The squad opened fire, and shot until the Rachni stopped twitching.<br>"Damn." Kaidan said, holstering his pistol. "Let's hope he wrote down the destruct codes."  
>Shepard walked over to the man's corpse and slowly rolled him over. Delicately, she went through his pockets, looking for anything that looked like a code.<br>"I think this is it." She held up a bloodstained notepad. "Lets go set off that purge and get the hell out of here."  
>"I hope the security guards got everyone onto the tram." Garrus said.<br>Shepard stopped, and turned around to face him.  
>"We need to find a radio or someway to contact them. We can't leave them here." She went back to the dead scientist and rummaged around a bit more. "Here we go." She unclipped a small communicator and turned it on. "Hello? Captain Ventralis? This is Commander Shepard. Is anyone on this frequency?"<br>A loud squeal of static filled the room, causing everyone to wince. Thankfully, it was followed by the voice of the security captain.  
>"Shepard? Thank god! We heard the alarms go off and thought the worse. We were only going to wait another five minutes before we left."<br>"Great. Get the tram ready to leave. We are going to set off the Neutron Purge, and then we are going to have to book it out of here. Hang on, we're on our way." She clicked the radio off. "Right. Let's do this."  
>They entered a much smaller room filled with various types of electrical equipment. A Mira terminal stood in the far corner, the holographic woman staring blankly forward.<br>"Connecting. I have full access to the facility and am at your disposal."  
>"Activate the Neutron Purge."<br>"I'm sorry, but I can't do that without proper code authorization." Shepard pulled out the bloody notepad.  
>"Um… Code input 875020079. Code Omega local execution."<br>"Verified. Code Omega execution in 300 seconds." A loud humming noise filled the room.  
>"Time to run like hell, boys!" Shepard bolted for the door.<br>They ran through the large rooms to the elevator, the ride up was painfully slow.  
>"Comeoncomeoncomeon." Shepard repeated through gritted teeth. Finally, the lift released them at the tram station, where the captain stood, holding the train door open for them. As they collapsed through it, he released the door, setting the tram in motion. They were several hundred yards from the station and around a corner when the purge went off. All they were able to see was a large cloud of smoke rising up to meet the snowstorm.<p>

Kaidan turned away from the window to look at the crowd in the tram. Exhausted guards and scientists were sprawled everywhere, some sleeping, some crying, and some staring blankly out the windows.  
>"Do you think they all knew what was going on there?" Shepard said quietly, leaning on the window's edge.<br>"They must have had some idea. There's no way they were all ignorant."  
>"Lets not push it. Let the company sort it out. These people have been through enough today." She stepped into a corner and started radioing Joker to pick them up at Peak 15.<br>The distraught workers occupied all of the seats, so Kaidan sat down on the floor, Garrus sat across from him and started to nod off. Moments later, Shepard joined Kaidan, sliding down the wall in a clatter of armor. She took off her helmet and shook out her hair.  
>"How am I going to explain this to Liara? We just killed her mother."<br>Kaidan removed his helmet as well, and looked at the Commander.  
>"You did everything you could. She knew what was going to happen. I think she was able to make peace with herself as she broke through of the mind control."<br>Shepard nodded sadly, and stared out the opposite window at the rushing snow.  
><em>I have to take her mind off of this. She can't brood the whole way back to Peak 15.<em>  
>"When I was little, my parents would take us on vacations to the mountains." He said softly. "I used to run out into the snow, and use my biotics to make it fly up around me. I would take thousands of snowflakes, and make them soar like flocks of birds."<br>A small smile appeared on her face, and she tilted her head towards him slightly as she listened. He told her stories of his childhood for the entire trip. She never once told him to be quiet, or asked him to stop. She just listened.

They arrived at Peak 15 to find the Normandy docked, as well as a fleet of smaller shuttles; the snowstorm had let up enough for Binary Helix to come rescue their people. As they walked into the Normandy's airlock, Shepard turned to Kaidan.  
>"Thanks for that." She said, staring up at him. "I would have spent the entire time obsessing over what to tell Liara. Sometimes I need a distraction."<br>"I'm glad I could be a good distraction, Commander." The strangeness of the sentence struck him, and he blushed while Shepard laughed.  
>"Right." She shook her head and stopped laughing. "I'm going to talk to Liara in my quarters, this is too personal of a talk for the Med Bay. Can you gather everyone else up for the debriefing?" He nodded, and they stepped onto the bridge. They walked side by side until they reached the CIC. Navigator Pressley was holding out a datapad for Shepard to check over. As she stopped to consult with him, Kaidan and Garrus continued down to the locker area.<br>"That was something." Garrus said casually.  
>"The mission? Yeah, that was crazy."<br>"I meant the tram ride."  
>"What? You were sleeping. And nothing was happening!"<br>"Right." Garrus looked smug as he put away his armor. At least Kaidan thought he looked smug.  
>"Let's just find the rest of the team and get to the debriefing. I have other things that need to be done."<br>"I'm sure you do."  
>Kaidan laughed, and shook his head.<br>"I'm not touching that."  
>"Touching what?" Said Ashley as she came around the corner.<br>"Nothing. Time for the mission debriefing." Kaidan shut his locker and headed up the stairs to find the rest of the team. He smiled to himself as he took the stairs two at a time. _That was something. _


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

The assembled team sat in the in the debriefing room waiting for Shepard and Liara to arrive. Kaidan gave a brief overview of what happened on the mission, then sat next to Ashley and watched in fascinated horror as she used her belt knife to clean under her fingernails. Finally after ten minutes, the doors opened and the missing squadmates came in. Shepard beelined to her chair on Kaidan's other side and sat down, while a red eyed Liara trudged slowly across the room, and lowered herself into her seat with a sigh.  
>"What's our next move, Commander? Head for the Mu Relay?" Ashley said, leaning forward.<br>"The Mu Relay could link to dozens of systems. Unless we know exactly where Saren's going, we'd just be wasting our time."  
>Liara gave a sniffle and spoke up.<br>"The Commander is right." Her voice wavered, but she kept speaking. "We cannot rush off blind. We still need to learn more about Saren."  
>"This is a tough mission. We're all on edge. Everyone go get some rest as we head to Feros. It's going to take at least a day to get there. Dismissed."<br>Kaidan got up and followed the crew out and down the stairs to the mess area. Ashley flung herself into a chair next to Joker, who threw a roll of bread at her. Kaidan leaned across the table, grabbed the roll from Ashley and sat down.  
>"If you're down here, who's flying the ship?" He asked the pilot, ignoring the face Ashley was making at him.<br>"Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually live up there. We do have a second shift pilot for when I need to eat and sleep and stuff." He speared a piece of ravioli with his fork. "Granted, he doesn't do any of the cool things that I do," he waved his fork around wildly. "But few people can."  
>Kaidan laughed and tossed the roll back to him. Ashley caught it in midair, and then bit into it triumphantly. Shaking his head, he left them at the table, and wandered over to his station. Instead of pulling up his calibrations, he brought up a star chart. <em>We are heading out of any major Alliance patrol routes. I hope nothing goes wrong, or we are seriously screwed.<em> He frowned to himself. Shepard was getting really frustrated on that last mission. I hope she doesn't let her temper get the better of her again. He closed the charts, and went back to work. Going on so many missions was starting to affect his actual duties. _Not that I want to be left behind._He shook the thoughts out of his head and focused on his work. An hour later, he stepped back to take a break, and noticed Shepard heading towards her cabin.

"Hey, Commander, do you have some time to talk?" He called out to her.  
>"Of course. I'm always open to my officers. Have a seat." He sat on the small bench behind him, and Shepard followed, scooting in next to him.<br>"We've played it pretty close to the books so far. But we're a long way from backup. We've got some tough calls to make. I'm just saying… try to leave yourself a way out. I've seen what cutting corners can do to someone." He took a deep breath. "And I'd hate to have that happen to you, Shepard." He looked down. "Commander."  
>"That's not the appropriate way to address your commanding officer, Lieutenant." He looked up in a panic. A sly smile was creeping across her face. <em>Is she mocking me? Did I read this all wrong? Dammit, its time to put an end to this. I'm a grown man. I can handle rejection.<em>  
>"Sorry, Ma'am. I wasn't speaking to you as my commanding officer. I don't want to send any bad signals, just working on what I've picked up." He held her gaze. "You tell me if I'm going too far."<br>She blinked at him, slightly stunned, and looked at her hands in her lap. _I guess she can dish out the casual flirting, but has a hard time getting actual affection back. _  
>"We, um, haven't had much off duty time to talk. You have an issue with how things are going?" <em>Is she talking about us, or the mission?<em>  
>"I'm not questioning any decision you've made, Shepard. Let me be clear about that." He saw the blush spread across her face, and his chest tightened. <em>Let her save face, talk about the mission! <em>"Its just in my experience, once someone lets something slide, it tends to pick up speed. You get my meaning?"  
>"Talk to me, Kaidan." She didn't take her eyes off her hands. "You've got a little black raincloud sitting over your head." He leaned forward to look at her face.<br>"I'll try to keep the deck dry." That got a small laugh out of her. "You know the records about the Biotic Training out on Jump Zero? They're all classified, like your files. Because the Alliance made mistakes." That got her attention. She leaned back against the wall and looked at him, head tilted to the side. "After first contact, Conatix was set up to track Element Zero exposures and develop implants for humans. Once we had an embassy on the Citadel, Conatix could bring in experts instead of taking it slow."  
>"I'm sure Conatix did what they thought was best." Kaidan shook his head.<br>"It wasn't best for us. They brought in an ex military Turian named Commander Vyrnnus. To introduce himself he'd say 'I was at the helm of the dreadnought that killed your father.' I told him my dad wasn't in the war; He'd retired to Vancouver. My family had an inland home that matured to new beachfront." He bit his lip. "Vyrnnus had it in for me after that. He cut corners, pushed hard. You either came out a superman or a wreck. A lot of kids snapped. A few died." Shepard looked confused. _She has no __idea where I'm going with this. _"The point of all this is when you cut corners, its not always obvious who pays for it."  
>"Why are you telling me this?" She lowered her voice practically to a whisper. "Is there something I can do to help you get over it?"<br>_There is something there. There has to be. She wouldn't say something like that as a joke._  
>"I'm 32, Shepard. You don't serve as long as I have without coming to terms with yourself." <em>Fuck it. I'm going for it. <em>"You also learn that if someone's special to you, you help them. Try to keep them from making mistakes."  
>She was red, and he guessed he was as well. But it didn't matter now.<br>"Special?" She looked at her hands again.  
>"If I'm out of line, just say the word." She shook her head, still not making eye contact. "I get you, Shepard. I don't make a habit of complicating the chain of command. Just think about what I said."<br>Shepard stood up and walked towards her cabin, but she hesitated before turning the corner.  
>"We'll talk later, Kaidan."<br>"I'd like that." He said softly as she disappeared from view.

So that was that. There was definitely mutual attraction. _Now what do I do? _He had taken a serious risk with that conversation, if she didn't like what he was talking about, or if anyone had overheard he'd be in major trouble. Proceeding from here would have to be done very delicately. He rubbed his temples; he was starting to feel the stirrings of a headache. Hopefully it was a normal stress headache, and not one of his implant induced migraines. He shut down his terminal and headed over to the sleep pods.

He awoke to blinding pain. Fumbling for the release handle, he flung the sleep pod door open wildly. The crashing noise was so loud he couldn't stand it. He collapsed to his knees, holding his head. Seconds later, a firm arm wrapped itself around his middle, and he felt strange claws dig into his side.  
>"Hang on, I'll get you to Doctor Chakwas." Garrus whispered to him. "Tali, get his other side!"<br>He felt the softness of Tali's suit as a stark contrast to Garrus's roughness, but he didn't care to overthink it. He let himself be lead down the small stairs towards the Med Bay. Garrus helped him onto a cot, while Tali turned the lights down.  
>"The doctor will be here in a second with a tranquilizer, just hang on."<br>"Why are you in armor?" Kaidan gasped out.  
>"Your Admiral Hackett called. We have to retrieve a crashed probe while we are in this system. Nothing big."<br>"I have to go. Have to stay with Shepard." He tried to sit up, but Garrus and Doctor Chakwas forced him back down.  
>"It's going to be fine. Williams and I are going. You stay here."<br>He felt a prick in his neck as the doctor injected him with a tranquilizer. He reached out and grabbed Garrus by the arm.  
>"Don't let anything happen to her." He mumbled and let go of the Turian. Garrus leaned forward grasped his shoulder.<br>"I'll watch her like she was my own sister. Now sleep." He walked back over to Doctor Chakwas and Tali. The last thing Kaidan remembered hearing before drifting into unconsciousness was the doctor.  
>"He's lucky he only gets the migraines. Most biotics now have the L3 implants. He was wired with the old L2, and there are usually complications like several mental disabilities and crippling physical pain…"<p>

When he awoke several hours later, the only remnants of the migraine was a throbbing at the back of his head. He pulled himself into a sitting position and leaned against the wall. Doctor Chakwas pulled her chair over and sat down in front of him with her clipboard.  
>"How are you feeling now, Lieutenant?"<br>"Better, Doc. Thanks for the tranquilizer. It's a lot easier to sleep through the headaches."  
>She gave him a small smile, and then went back to her notes.<br>"Was it more or less intense then the last one?"  
>"Definitely more. Last time I could get here on my own."<br>She nodded and wrote something down. She looked up to ask him another question when the doors opened and Ashley, Shepard and Garrus barreled in.  
>"What's all this?" Doctor Chakwas said as she stood up. "Lieutenant, don't go anywhere, I'm not done with you yet."<br>Garrus nudged Shepard forward. She glared at him, and held up her left arm. Nothing seemed to be wrong with it, it wasn't broken, and she was still wearing her armor… Then he noticed the small holes, and the blood slowly dripping to the floor.  
>"What happened?" The doctor jumped into action, dragging Shepard over to the cot next to Kaidan and forcing her to sit down.<br>"Admiral Hackett sent us down to the planet to retrieve the data module from a crashed probe." Ashley said, standing on the other side of the cot, watching the doctor slowly unbuckling the armor off Shepard's arm. "We found the crash site easy enough, problem was, the site was surrounded by these space monkey things."  
>"Space monkeys?" Kaidan said, trying to conceal his laughter. It died quickly when Chakwas rolled up Shepard's shirtsleeve. Her arm had four deep punctures, and was bleeding heavily.<br>"Anyway, we saw one of the monkeys…"  
>"Space monkeys." Kaidan corrected. Coming out of the tranquilizer always made him feel a bit silly.<br>"Sorry, LT. We saw one of the space monkeys run off with the module. We chased that damn thing all over the place. We finally got it cornered, and Shepard grabbed the module from it."  
>"The damn thing BIT ME." Shepard looked pissed.<br>"I still say we should have shot it in the first place." Garrus said.  
>"It's a space monkey, Garrus!" Shepard yelled. "It doesn't know any better!"<br>"Thank you for the update, Chief, Garrus. If you wouldn't mind, I need the to run a few tests on the Commander." Doctor Chakwas made a shooing motion with her hands.  
>"What kind of tests?" Shepard asked suspiciously.<br>"We have no idea if that monkey…" The doctor looked at Kaidan, she was used to his strange post medication moods and corrected herself. "Space monkey has any diseases."  
>"Space rabies." Kaidan said gravely.<br>"That's it, Lieutenant, you get out too. I'll finish with you later." She shooed them out of the med bay, and glared until they slunk over to the mess table.

"I thought you were going to keep an eye on her." Kaidan said to Garrus, as they pulled out chairs and sat down.  
>"It was my idea to shoot the space monkey. If we had, she wouldn't have gotten bit."<br>"That's true." Ashley said, elbowing Kaidan. "What's this about him keeping an eye on her? Is this about you being sweet on her?"  
>"Does everyone on this ship want to get me reassigned?"<br>"Relax, LT. I'm just kidding around. Anyway, I'm pretty sure the Commander is sweet on you, too."  
>Kaidan struggled to keep his face neutral. <em>They can't know about our conversation. <em>  
>"What makes you say that?"<br>"She came by to talk as I was watching some vid mail from home. You remember I told you about my sisters? Well, they saw us on the news when they showed Shepard's Spectre ceremony. My sister Sarah thinks you're cute." She laughed and elbowed him again. "Anyway, Shepard caught that part, and asked if I had a thing for you." Garrus made a noise that might have been a Turian snort. Ashley and Kaidan stared at him.  
>"What?" He said. "I just don't see it working out for you two."<br>Ashley made a gesture at him, and continued her story.  
>"Anyway. I have four sisters. I know how to read other women. She was definitely jealous when she thought I liked you." She frowned. "I don't know if you two can do anything about it, though. I dated a sergeant right after basic, and the sneaking around just wasn't worth it. What's the Turian military's policy on fraternization?" She swiveled in her seat to face Garrus.<br>"They pretend it doesn't exist, as long as it doesn't affect a mission. But the C.O.s always tell you it's a great way to get rid of stress and tension." He grinned at Ashley.  
>"I'm going to see if I can repair Shepard's armor." Ashley stood up abruptly and left the table.<br>"What was that all about?" Kaidan asked.  
>"While we were driving to the crash site, Shepard made us come to a 'mutual respect agreement.' That we would stop fighting." He sighed. "I didn't think I WAS fighting. She's just hot headed." I'm going to get food. Wait here, I'll grab you a plate."<p>

As Garrus rummaged around with the food, the elevator hummed its arrival, and Tali came around the corner.  
>"Ah, Lieutenant. I'm glad to see you are feeling better." She sat down at the far end of the table.<br>"I'm glad as well. Thank you for the help earlier." She nodded, her suit making a small rustling sound. "How are things going for you onboard?"  
>"I'm enjoying myself in the engineering department, Chief Engineer Adams lets me look at everything I want. I've made many notes to take back to the Flotilla." She sighed, and drummed her gloved fingers on the table. "I wish I could be more useful. I just really hate going out in the Mako."<br>"We all hate going out in the Mako." Garrus said, returning with two plates of food. "I hope you don't mind us eating in front of you."  
>"Don't worry, I already ate."<br>"While we are eating, I'd like to hear more about the history of the Quarians. If you don't mind." Kaidan said.  
>Tali launched into an impressive history lesson as Kaidan and Garrus ate. She was just getting to her current predicament when Liara came down the stairs from the CIC.<br>"Hello, Liara. Where have you been?" Tali gave a small wave.  
>"I was sitting with the pilot, watching the stars." She grabbed herself a plate of food and sat down.<br>"How are you holding up?" Kaidan asked softly.  
>"Better now." She admitted. "Shepard explained to me what happened, that my mother was able to break through the mind control. Part of me wishes I had been there, but part of me is glad I did not witness her downfall."<br>They all nodded, and kept eating, except for Tali, who continued her story. When he was done, Kaidan dropped his plate off in the bin, and headed up to see Joker.

The pilot was sitting in his chair, idly staring at his control panels. Kaidan climbed into the seat he normally occupied when he was in the bow of the ship, and stretched his arms out.  
>"You touch my hat and you die, Lieutenant."<br>"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just stretching." He pulled his arms back in, and booted up his console.  
>"So what's the word from downstairs? I hear this is the second time Shepard's been brought in swearing like crazy."<br>"She got bit by a space monkey,"  
>"No shit?"<br>"Yeah, she's probably getting stitches."  
>"Well that explains why we are circling around this damn planet. She loves to be up here when we land." They both stared out at the planet below them.<br>"Where are we?"  
>"Feros. Attican Beta, Theseus System. A long way from the Citadel."<br>"Ah. So how was it having Liara up here?"  
>"It was fine, she's pretty hot. But she kept sniffing like she was going to start crying again, and that really reduces the amount of hotness."<br>Kaidan rolled his eyes, and checked to see if his console was communicating with the one downstairs.  
>"So what's going on with you and the Commander?" Joker leaned over surreptitiously. "Have you made your move yet?"<br>"What is with everyone on this ship? Why is everyone so involved in this?"  
>"Ok, there are 55 people trapped on this ship. Nine of those people are interesting. So yeah, everyone is going to be interested in your business." He stopped to readjust something on his screen. "You should have made your move earlier."<br>"Were you listening in? How were you listening in?"  
>Joker tapped his console, and then his earpiece.<br>"I have to know what's going on at all times. There are microphones everywhere, except for the showers, and the Commander's quarters." He looked at Kaidan and wiggled his eyebrows.  
>"You are a child."<br>"Who's a child?"  
>They both jumped as Shepard walked up behind them. She had definitely gotten stitches, there was gauze on her arm, and she was holding it gingerly. She raised her eyebrows at them and cleared her throat.<br>"The doctor says in a few hours the numbness will wear off, and then we can head out. Hopefully by then Williams will have fixed the holes in my armor. Alenko, can you go down and see if she needs any help with that? Then I want you to suit up. You and Wrex are going down to the surface with me."  
>"Wrex, Ma'am?" He stood up and faced her, standing at attention.<br>"We are picking up traces from Geth ships, I want your tech expertise and a lot of biotic power. Liara just isn't up for combat yet. She was just getting the feel for things when the whole debacle with her mother happened. I don't want to risk anything on this mission." She looked up at him. "I'm not cutting any corners."  
>He felt a smile start at the corner of his mouth and forced it away. He was not going to give anyone anything to talk about.<br>"Understood, Commander. I'll go check in on Williams."  
>He turned and headed back through the CIC towards the crew areas. He had no idea where this was going, but it was definitely going, and that's all he cared about.<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

(A/N Like on Noveria, I'll be skipping through a lot of the combat. There is more fun to be had than me awkwardly trying to describe firefights.  
>Again, thank you to everyone who has subscribed andor reviewed. I still can't believe anyone is reading this. :D)

CHAPTER 12

Their armor on, Kaidan and Wrex headed back up to the bow of the Normandy. Ashley was standing behind Joker, leaning over his shoulder and laughing. Kaidan settled into his usual seat next to Joker, while Wrex slowly walked around the other open station.  
>"You need Krogan sized chairs." He grunted. "I'll be back downstairs until we land." He stomped off back down towards the CIC and out of sight. Ashley dropped into the seat he had rejected.<br>"He's so pleasant to be around." Joker commented, and then looked around conspiratorially. "Speaking of pleasant to be around, how go things with you and the Commander?"  
>Kaidan sighed. Joker probably knew about their conversation earlier, hell he had probably listened to the whole thing, and told Ashley all about it. Besides, it might be nice to get to talk to someone.<br>"I think we've reached an understanding." He admitted. "I'm just not sure I know what that understanding is."  
>Joker nodded sagely.<br>"Good luck with that." He said. "She sounds… special." He wiggled his eyebrows at Kaidan, who leaned over and smacked him gently with a datapad.  
>"I hate you."<br>"I know."  
>"Don't worry, LT. It's cute." Ashley said. "And frankly, the universe needs more cute right now."<br>"We could be cute." Joker raised his eyebrows at her. She hit his other side with her datapad. "Damn, you guys are going to break me!"  
>Kaidan sighed. He just couldn't catch a break with these people.<p>

They went back to their respective tasks, and sat in relative silence for the next few hours. Kaidan liked Joker. When he had first been assigned to the Normandy, the pilot was the first person to be friendly to him; the rest of the crew seemed to avoid casual conversations. Apparently they were all very serious about the Alliance's policy against fraternization with officers. He smirked at the irony. _Now they can't get enough of my fraternization._ He was still smiling about that when Wrex came back up to the bridge, followed by Shepard. She pointed at the open station, Ashley vacated it and Wrex sulkily wedged himself in. The chair creaked ominously. The chief covered her laughter with her hand, and headed towards the CIC.  
>"The holes in my armor are repaired, and I'm ready to go." Shepard looked down at Joker. "Take us in."<br>"Aye, Aye." The pilot said, and went to work. "Steady yourselves for atmosphere break."  
>Kaidan settled himself deeper into his chair. He was glad to be sitting this time, every time he stood during landing he felt like his bones were shaking. <em>I'll never understand how Shepard actually enjoys standing.<em> He glanced over to Joker's chair to look at her, but she wasn't there. He turned his head and saw her standing right behind him. They locked eyes for a long moment, and then she motioned with her head that he should look forward. He went back to looking at his console, and felt the slightest of pressure. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw she had positioned her hand on his chair so that her fingertips rested gently on his shoulder. He smiled to himself, and glanced over at Joker. The pilot looked back, noticed Shepard, and flashed Kaidan a quick thumbs up before returning his attention to the ship's controls. They hit the atmosphere, and the ship shook violently, but Shepard never moved her hand from his chair. As soon as the vibrations stopped, she let go and walked over to Joker like nothing had happened.  
>"Approach Control, this is the SSV Normandy. Requesting a vector and a berth." Static crackled over the intercom as a response to Joker's hail. He frowned and tried again. "Approach Control, this is the SSV Normandy. Requesting a vector and a berth." Static again. Joker turned up to Shepard and shrugged. "Maybe no one's home?"<br>"Land anyway. We need to figure out what's going on here." She walked over to the airlock as Joker brought the Normandy into a landing bay. "Wrex. Alenko. Let's get a move on."  
>Kaidan got up, and watched Wrex force himself out of his chair. The Krogan glared at him, and bared his teeth. Kaidan shrugged at him, and hurried to catch up with Shepard.<p>

They exited the airlock to a rush of warm air. The pleasant temperature was a nice change from the lava and blizzard planets of earlier missions.  
>"That's odd, the air smells sweet." Kaidan looked around for any plant life that might be responsible for the scent.<br>"I don't like it." Wrex said. "The air shouldn't smell."  
>Shepard shook her head at them, and started walking towards the spaceport exit. As they rounded a corner, a man in worn clothes ran towards them.<br>"We saw your ship." He said, gasping for breath. "Fai Dan wants to speak to you immediately."  
>"Who's Fai Dan?"<br>"He's in charge of our settlement. The Geth are making another push. Fai Dan is preparing our defenses, but he needs your help. Please. Up the stairs past the freighter."  
>The man turned to lead them up the stairs, and exploded into a fine mist. A Geth trooper with a rocket launcher stood at the base of the stairs, reloading its weapon.<br>"Shit!" Shepard said as they took cover. She leaned around from behind a large crate and shot the Geth before it had time to aim. She stared sadly at the shoes that lay smoking on the deck.  
>"Sometimes I really think we should stop talking to people." She sighed, and started walking forward. "So many of them seem to die in horrible ways."<br>They picked their way through the rubble of the station to the small settlement. A woman greeted them from behind a barrier.  
>"We are glad you are here! Fai Dan is at the back of the camp." She pointed to an open area behind her. Shepard nodded at her, and the squad kept moving.<p>

The settlers watched them pass with curiously blank expressions, although a few strange glances were thrown at Wrex. Fai Dan was a nervous looking man leaning up against a wall.  
>"I'm Commander Shepard. I was told you wanted to speak with me?" Shepard reached out and shook the man's hand.<br>"Oh, Commander. I'm glad they finally sent somebody to help us!"  
>"You're a bit late, aren't you?" A sour looking woman stepped up beside Fai Dan.<br>"Arcelia!" Fai Dan scolded. "Sorry, Commander. Everyone's on edge since-"  
>"Watch out! We've got Geth in the tower!" Arcelia yelled as a Geth patrol barreled towards them. Kaidan put up a small biotic barrier to keep them from advancing further as Shepard and Wrex picked them off. As he crouched behind a crate and held the barrier, he noticed Arcelia was firing her own assault rifle, and pretty accurately as well. <em>She must have some kind of training. Police, maybe, but not military.<em>  
>Kaidan's barrier held, and soon the Geth attack was repelled.<br>"The tower's secure. Thanks to you, Commander." Fai Dan was sweating terribly.  
>"I'm just glad your colony is safe." Shepard said, clipping her assault rifle to her backplate.<br>"I appreciate your concern, and your efforts against the Geth."  
>"They may have been slowed, but they'll be back." Arcelia scowled. "They always come back."<br>"What do they want?"  
>"If you want answers, go ask them yourselves." She said nastily.<br>"We don't know what they're after." Fai Dan said, glaring at Arcelia. "They came, they attacked us. That's all we know. Their main base is at the ExoGeni headquarters. A good place to start looking if you want answers."  
>"How do I get there?"<br>"The old Prothean skyway leads directly to ExoGeni headquarters. You can't miss it." Arcelia said with a touch of condescension.  
>"Okay." Shepard said uneasily. "We'll be going then."<p>

They left the colonists, and headed up the stairs Arcelia had pointed at. After a few flights, an elevator was reached, and Shepard sighed.  
>"The Protheans were such an advanced race, you'd think they would have invented something better than elevators."<br>The ancient doors creaked open, and Shepard and Kaidan cautiously stepped on. Wrex stomped on with his regular force, causing the whole car to shudder, and hit the button. To everyone's relief the lift rose smoothly, instead of plunging them to their deaths.  
>"You should have shot that woman." Wrex grumbled to Shepard. "She was not respecting your authority."<br>"I did want to punch her in the face." Shepard admitted. "But that would not have been diplomatic of me."  
>"Let me know next time." Wrex grinned at the Commander. "I'll eat her."<br>Shepard opened her mouth as if she had something to say, but decided against it. The life doors opened and they stepped out into a large garage. Kaidan groaned internally, a Mako sat tucked into the far corner. They would not be walking across the skyway.

Wrex slowly circled the Mako.  
>"How do you get into this thing?" He said as he studied it carefully.<br>"You climb up the side, and there's a hatch on top." Kaidan showed him the built in ladder. Wrex looked at him suspiciously.  
>"You two go over there and turn around." He said. "I need to make sure I can get into this stupid thing. If I can't, we are going to walk." He began to make his way awkwardly up the side of the transport.<br>Shepard shrugged at Kaidan, and they walked several feet away.  
>"I'm surprised at how fast this is going." She said, as they listened to Wrex complain to himself. "As unpleasant as that woman was, they are being a lot more cooperative than most of the people we've encountered."<br>"It's always nice when people are forthcoming with information." Kaidan agreed. "At one point, I was thinking we were never going to get off of Noveria."  
>Shepard laughed, and nodded at him.<br>"If one more person had asked us to run a stupid errand in exchange for information I **was** going to start punching people."  
>"I'm glad it didn't come to that."<br>"I don't know, there is something cathartic about punching people."  
>"We could always install a boxing ring on the flight deck." He looked over at the Mako. "As long as Wrex isn't allowed to participate."<br>The Krogan's head stuck up through the Mako's hatch.  
>"I'm in." He said. "Let's get moving."<br>Kaidan and Shepard climbed up the side of the transport and dropped through the hatch. Wrex had crammed himself in the back at the gunnery station, and looked at them expectantly. Kaidan glanced over at Shepard.  
>"Hey, Commander. Do you want me to d-"<br>"Nope!" She said, and crawled into the driver's seat. "Nice try, though."

They rolled out of the garage and onto the skyway. It was littered with debris, most likely from the initial Geth attack, so Shepard drove slowly as she navigated around all the obstacles. Kaidan relaxed, and looked at the radar screen.  
>"Commander, I'm picking up some signals. Probably Geth."<br>"Wrex, get the guns ready!"  
>"They have been ready, Shepard." Kaidan couldn't see her face, but he knew she was rolling her eyes.<br>As rounded a piece of debris, a squad of Geth troopers came into view. Wrex opened fire on them, using the rockets to take them out in groups. As the Mako moved forward, an explosion caused the transport to shake violently.  
>"What the hell?" Kaidan said, staring at the radar screen, a larger dot was moving towards them rapidly. "Shepard, what the hell is that?"<br>"It's a Geth, but it's huge!" She called back. "Wrex, shoot it!"  
>"It's too close to us. I can't target on it."<br>"Dammit!" Shepard yelled, and the Mako surged forward, running over the large mechanical creature with a resounding thump. "Did that kill it?"  
>Wrex looked out his small window.<br>"It's twitching."  
>Shepard threw the Mako in reverse and ran over the Geth again.<br>"Once more for good measure." She muttered to herself, and drove over it a third time. "How about now?"  
>"Its arm came off." Wrex reported. "And it's stopped twitching."<br>"Then lets keep moving."

The Mako was a hundred yards away from the second tower when the radio kicked on. The squad listened to one side of an intense argument.  
>"The last batch went south. What are they looking for?" The woman's voice sounded panicky. "Any sign of moment? Lizbeth could still be out there! It's only been a few days!"<br>There was silence on the line for several minutes, then the voice came back, more angry this time.  
>"She's my daughter! I'll wait as long as I have to!"<br>They entered a large tunnel, and a different voice came over the radio.  
>"We've got movement. Some kind of vehicle. Not one of the Geth."<br>"Sounds like we've been spotted, Commander." Kaidan said with a sigh.  
>"Forget them. We need to deal with the Geth." Wrex grumbled. Shepard pulled the Mako up alongside a small, well light hallway.<br>"We should at least go check in with these people so they don't shoot at us later." She said, unbuckling herself and crawling towards the hatch. "Wrex, do you want to stay in the Mako?"  
>"Yes." He glared at her.<br>"Ok. You stay here and guard the car." She laughed, and pulled herself up onto the transport roof. "Let's go, Lieutenant."

The hallway sloped downwards into a large room filled with people. A well dressed, unpleasant looking man held up his hand to them.  
>"That's close enough!"<br>"Relax, Jeong." A woman said, walking up next to him. Her voice was the same as the one they had heard over the radio, and her face looked weary, her eyes red. "They're obviously not Geth."  
>"Get back, Juliana! Who are you? What do you want?"<br>"I'm Commander Shepard. I'm here to remove your Geth problem."  
>"You see?" Juliana said. "You worry too much."<br>"And you trust to easily." The man snarled back at her. She ignored him.  
>"I'm just glad to see a friendly face. I thought we were the only humans left on this planet."<br>"Fai Dan and some of the members of Zhu's hope are still alive." Kaidan said. "We were just there."  
>Now Juliana turned her attention to Jeong.<br>"I thought you said they were all dead!"  
>"I said they were 'probably' all dead."<br>"They're not dead, but the Geth have really pounded them." Shepard said, frowning at the man.  
>"We know what that's like. Those damn synthetics are relentless." Juliana sighed.<br>"Are we getting close to their base?"  
>"You're almost there. They're holed up in the ExoGeni headquarters. Just a bit further down the skyway."<br>"Those headquarters are private property, soldier!" Jeong's face was turning red. Shepard raised her eyebrows at his dismissal of her rank. "Remove the Geth and nothing else!"  
>"I should move on." Shepard turned to head back to the Mako.<br>"Commander, before you go…" Juliana ran up alongside her. "My daughter. Lizbeth. She's missing…" He voice trailed off.  
>"They shouldn't waste time poking around!" Jeong's angry voice came from behind them. "We can do a proper accounting of our casualties after the Geth are gone."<br>Juliana angrily spun around to face him.  
>"That's my daughter you're talking about! She's still alive, I know it!"<br>"Where is your daughter, Juliana?" Shepard said softly, placing a hand on the woman's shoulder.  
>"She was working in the ExoGeni building when the attacks came."<br>"Oh yeah. There are several places she could hide. For a short time." Jeong crossed his arms over his chest. Shepard shot him a look of death. Kaidan hoped he was never on the receiving end of that look.  
>"Stay bunkered down until I find out what the Geth are after. I'll look for your daughter as well." She removed her hand from the woman, and headed back to the Mako, Kaidan right behind her.<p>

"I'm glad Wrex stayed behind. I probably would have asked him to eat that jerk." Shepard said as she climbed back into the transport. She shook her head.  
>"I know I said I wanted to get done with this quickly, but we are going to find that girl."<br>"To help her mother, or to spite Jeong?" Kaidan asked, strapping into his station.  
>"Both." Shepard said, and gunned the Mako forward and up a ramp.<br>"What did I miss?" Wrex asked, eyeing Kaidan.  
>"Lunch."<br>"What?"  
>"Never mind."<p>

They traveled up another level, and out onto the second skyway. Shepard slammed on the brakes as a large shadow passed over them. A Geth transport ship dropped several troops onto the path, then attached itself to the side of the next tower.  
>"Oh, hell." Kaidan said under his breath.<br>Wrex unleashed the guns, blowing up Geth troopers with reckless abandon. Thankfully, there were none of the large creatures to deal with, and the small ones were dispatched quickly. Driving over the wreckage, Shepard piloted the Mako into another garage.  
>"Looks like this is the end of the line." She climbed out of her seat and opened the hatch. "Wrex, you have to come this time."<br>He snarled at her, and slowly heaved himself out of the transport. Kaidan rolled his eyes, and followed, Shepard bringing up the rear.

"We had better keep our guard up." Kaidan said as they looked around the garage. "This place is probably crawling with Geth."  
>"They don't need much of an invitation to move in, do they?" Shepard said absently.<br>"They must want something from the ExoGeni systems. Why else would they bother with all this?" Wrex grunted, and pointed to a small door covered with a glowing barrier.  
>"We can't get through this with the equipment we have." The Krogan inspected the barrier carefully. "There has to be another way in."<br>A few minutes search revealed a collapsed stairwell with an exit at the end. Kaidan leaned over the 15-foot drop.  
>"That's a one way drop, Commander."<br>She shrugged at him.  
>"Any better ideas? No, then we are going this way." She grabbed the edge, and lowered herself down, dropping the last ten feet. "That wasn't so bad. Lets go."<br>Kaidan and Wrex reluctantly followed her down and into the next room where the twisted corpse of a Geth trooper lay in a heap. As he leaned to examine it, a shot whistled past Kaidan's ear. Immediately, Shepard was at his side, pistol drawn.  
>"Damn it!" Came a small voice from behind a pile of debris. A nervous looking young woman emerged, a small gun clutched in her shaking hands. "I'm so sorry! I though you were a Geth."<br>"It's okay." Shepard said, and glanced at Kaidan, who nodded. "What are you doing in here?"  
>"Its my own fault. Everyone was running and I stayed to back up data. Next thing I know, the Geth ship latched on and the power went out. I was trapped. I tried to get out, but the way was blocked."<br>"A few Geth won't stop me."  
>"Its not the Geth. It's the energy field they put up. They don't want anyone else getting access to the-" She stopped, and slammed her hand over her mouth.<br>"I'm here to take care of the Geth." Shepard said calmly. "It's very important that I find out what they are after."  
>"I don't know for certain." The girl looked down. "But I'm guessing they're here for the Thorian."<br>"What a Thorian?" Kaidan said, looking first at the girl, then Wrex. The Krogan shrugged his shoulders.  
>"It's an indigenous life-form. ExoGeni was studying it."<br>"What else can you tell me? Do you know where I can find this Thorian?"  
>"I might be able to. But not with all those Geth crawling around everywhere." She looked around, obviously starting to panic. "Look, we need to get out of here. Past that field. I think the Geth ship is powering it. I've noticed the Geth laying power cables everywhere. You could follow those cables, but there's Geth all over the place."<br>"All right. I'll look into it. Stay put until the field is down."  
>"You don't have to tell me twice. Oh! Here, take my ID. That should get you past any locked doors."<br>Shepard stared at the small card.  
>"Lizbeth Baynham? Is your mother Juliana?" The girl nodded. "She asked us to look for you."<br>"My mother is alive?" Lizbeth's face lit up. "I'll hide back here, you hurry up and get me back to where she is!" She excitedly scampered off behind her pile of debris. Shepard raised her eyebrows and shook her head.  
>"Well, then." She looked at all of the cabling on the ground. "They all seem to be going this way, so I guess that's the way we go."<p>

They followed the cable down a long hallway, until they reached the bottom of a flight of stairs. Shepard put her finger to her lips, and the squad crept up the stairs to the first landing. A large Krogan stood at the top, angrily pushing buttons on a glowing console.  
>"Stupid machine! Access encrypted files! No, I don't want to review protocol!"<br>"I am unable to comply." The neutral voice of a VI echoed down the stairs. "Please contact your supervisor."  
>"Damn it, Tell me what I want or I'll blast your virtual ass into actual dust!" Wrex shook his head slowly. <em>He looks embarrassed, <em>Kaidan realized.  
>"Please contact your supervisor for a level 4 security exemption. Or make an appointment with-"<br>"STUPID MACHINE!" He roared.  
>"If there is nothing else, please step aside. There is a queue forming behind you for the use of this terminal."<br>"Ohshit." Shepard muttered as the Krogan spun around.  
>They opened fire on the charging animal, taking it down just before it reached them. It rolled down to the bottom of the stairs and lay still.<br>"That was close." Kaidan said, wiping his forehead.  
>"Huh." Wrex grunted. "You obviously have not fought many Krogans. He stomped down the stairs and shot limp body in the head with his shotgun. Shepard winced. "We always get back up. The perks of having a redundant nervous system."<br>They left the now very dead Krogan in a pile of slowly spreading orange blood, and walked back to the stairs to the VI.

"ExoGeni cooperation reminds all staff that the discharging of weapons on company property is strictly forbidden." The VI turned its transparent head to look at Shepard. "Welcome back Research Assistant Elizabeth Baynham. What can I do for you?"  
>Shepard looked down at the security tag she had attached to her armor, and shrugged.<br>"What information was the last user attempting to access?"  
>"Fetching data. The previous user was attempting to access details on the study of Subject Species 37, the Thorian."<br>"What did you tell him?"  
>"I was unable to provide the previous user with any relevant data. Aside from lacking proper access, there has been no new data available on Species 37. All sensors monitoring the observation post at Zhu's Hope have been inactive for several cycles."<br>"Did it say Zhu's Hope?" Kaidan asked. "I thought that was just a settlement." Shepard looked at him, her face a mirror of his own confusion.  
>"What does Zhu's Hope have to do with the Thorian?" She turned back to the VI.<br>"Species 37 is located within the substructure of the Zhu's Hope outpost." Shepard scowled.  
>"Tell me everything about the Thorian." She said through gritted teeth.<br>"The Thorian is a simple plant life form that exhibits a sentient behavior uncommon with other flora. Through dispersion and the eventual inhalation of spores it can effect and control other organisms, including humans." Shepard shot Kaidan a nervous glance as the VI continued. "The Zhu's Hope control group yielded interesting results. Before sensors went offline, almost 85 percent of all test subjects were infected."  
>Shepard's face went pale, her eyes narrowed.<br>"Are you saying ExoGeni knew its people were getting infected?"  
>"It was deemed necessary to assess the true potential of Species 37."<br>"You should contact the pilot." Wrex said. "He might not want to leave the ship there."  
>Shepard pressed the call button on her radio.<br>"Joker. Come in, Joker!" Silence filled the room. "Damn it. That field's blocking us."  
>"We need to drop that field, and get back to Zhu's Hope." Kaidan said, removing his pistol from its holster. Shepard nodded, and turned back to the VI.<br>"What can you tell me about the Geth ship and the field it's generating?" I have limited data on the Geth. They have effectively blocked all sensors in the facility. I have detected unusual power fluctuations, but am unable to determine the source."  
>"We need to find that ship. Let's get moving." They stepped away from the console and headed up the stairs, following the cables that would lead them to the Geth.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

The squad ran through the abandoned building, following the Geth's power cables. Every few hundred feet, they would encounter small patrols of Geth troopers, but used the darkness to their advantage. Most of the time they were able to take out the synthetic creatures before they could even turn around.  
>At the end of a hallway, the cables split down two different paths.<br>"Left or right?" Shepard mused, turning her head from side to side.  
>"There a faint light coming from the right." Kaidan said. "Maybe we should check out that way first."<br>She nodded, and they headed down towards the right. The short hallway ended at the top of a flight of stairs. The light Kaidan had noticed came from a softly glowing orb that hovered in a corner. As they walked down the stairs, Wrex put out his hand and stopped them. He stepped forward surprisingly silent, and aimed his rifle. A Geth trooper toppled over onto the floor.  
>"I didn't even see that there!" Kaidan said, staring at the Krogan. "What was it doing?"<br>"Kneeling."  
>They walked over to the large orb and examined it. It made no noise, and had no reaction when Shepard cautiously touched it.<br>"It almost looks like the Geth built themselves some kind of church." Kaidan said softly.  
>"Why would a synthetic devote resources to something like this?" Shepard asked. He shrugged, and turned around to follow the cables. They lead to the wall where a large clamp was.<br>"The Geth must have anchored their ship to the side of the building with these claws." He scratched the back of his neck. "How do we cut the power if it's coming from the ship?"  
>"We could dislodge the ship." Wrex said. "Maybe there's a flaw in one of the other claws we could exploit."<p>

They left the room and headed back to the hallway junction. Down the left path, they encountered another patrol of Geth, and just beyond them was a large door with a glowing barrier on it. After they had destroyed the Geth, Shepard inspected the door.  
>"I can see the Mako through there!" She pointed at their transport. "I guess this is how we get out once we get the barrier down."<br>"Commander, what about Lizbeth?"  
>"Right." Either one of us will have to drop back down and bring her this way, or once we get the barrier down, we can use the cables for her to climb up."<br>"Good plan."  
>They followed the cables up another flight of stairs to a large room with more of the ship anchors. As they walked through the empty room, Shepard stopped suddenly.<br>"Why would they leave this unattended?" She wondered out loud. As if the universe had read her mind, a large Geth, identical to the one they had encountered on the skyway stepped out from around a corner.  
>"Oh hell." Kaidan muttered as they took cover. Shepard crouched next to him.<br>"Okay, here's what we are going to do. Lieutenant, you try and hold it back with your biotics. Wrex, you get up close with your shotgun. Don't give me that look. I know your armor, skin and redundant nervous system can take a few hits. I'll stay back here and cover the Lieutenant with my assault rifle. Let's take this fucker out."  
>She stood up and opened fire. Kaidan leaned around the corner and reached out with his power. He couldn't stop the giant machine completely, but he could slow it down. Wrex barreled towards it, blasting away with his shotgun. It took several long, agonizing minutes, but finally the Geth collapsed and lay still.<br>"Let's hope we don't encounter any more of those." Shepard said, wiping the sweat off her forehead. A piece of hair stuck to the side of her face, and Kaidan had to stop himself from moving it.  
>"What is this place?" He said, looking around hurriedly. "Some kind of containment lab?"<br>"It may be helpful." Wrex said, putting away his shotgun. "If we can dislodge one claw the ship may fall."  
>Shepard stared at the wall.<br>"That one." She pointed. "That claw is in the middle of the shuttle bay door. If we can get it to close enough pressure, it could cut right through the wiring." She walked over to the door controls. "Alenko, do you think there is any way you can up the pressure on this thing?"  
>Kaidan stepped up and investigated the console.<br>"I should be able to by releasing some of these valves." She nodded at him and he set to work. A few minutes of calculations and valve manipulation got him to his intended results. "Everyone stand back. I'm not sure what's going to happen." He pressed the door close button, and they hurried behind a large barrier.

The door slammed shut, shearing the claw in two with a small explosion. The whole building shook, knocking the squad to the ground, as the other claws ripped out of their holdings, and the ship plummeted to the planet surface.  
>Kaidan stood up, dusting himself off.<br>"Well, that got the job done. Let's go deal with that Thorian thing." They headed back down the stairs and through the now open door.  
>"I'm going to go get Lizbeth. You guys get some of that cabling and make me a rope to climb back up." Shepard dropped back down their original entrance hole. Kaidan stood near the Mako awkwardly as Wrex stomped off back the way they had came. There was a horrible squealing sound, and he returned a few moments later with a long piece of thick cable.<br>"Alenko!" Shepard called from the hole. "I'm going to boost up Lizbeth. Can you help her up?"  
>Kaidan ran over and reached down for the girl. She slipped as she tried to find footing against the wall, Kaidan grabbed her tightly by the arms, and lifted her up and over the edge to set her down on the ground. He leaned back over the edge and looked down at Shepard.<br>"Stand back!" He said. "Wrex is going to throw down the cable." She nodded and stepped backwards. The cable landed in front of her, and she dragged towards the wall. Wrex held the other end and pulled as she scrambled up the wall.  
>"I repeat, Normandy to shore party!" Joker's agitated voice came over Shepard's radio. "Are you reading? Is anyone there? Normandy to shore party! Come on, Commander, talk to me!"<br>"Joker!" Shepard hit the call button. "What's going on over there?"  
>"We're in lockdown here, Commander. Something happened to the colonists. They're banging on the hull, trying to claw their way inside the ship. They're freaking out!"<br>"Okay, don't panic. They can't do any real damage to the Normandy. We're on our way back. Just hold your position!"  
>"Uh… Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll just wait right here for you, Commander."<br>"All right. Lets get back in the Mako and move out. Lizbeth, we'll drop you off with your mother on the way."

Kaidan helped the young woman up and into the Mako. She strapped herself in to a side chair nervously, and waited as Wrex and Shepard joined them. As Shepard turned the Mako around, she called out to their new passenger.  
>"Lizbeth, I'm going to need some answers. You knew more about the Thorian than you let on."<br>The scientist stared at her hands.  
>"I was afraid. I wanted to stop the tests, but they threatened me, told me I'd be next. When the Geth attacked, I stayed behind to send a message to Colonial Affairs. I tried to tell them where to find the Thorian, but the power cut off before I could send the message. I never meant for this to happen." She was pale. Kaidan couldn't tell if she was afraid of Shepard, or was sick from all the bouncing around. Since their earlier trip had cleared most of the debris, Shepard was driving as fast as she could.<br>"Where is the Thorian?"  
>"Underneath Zhu's Hope, but the entrance is blocked. The colonists covered it with the freighter just before the Geth attacked."<br>"But why are the Geth after the Thorian?" She shot a quick glance back to Kaidan and Wrex. "What could Saren want with it?"  
>"Well, it does have unique mind control capabilities. That's what ExoGeni was interested in."<br>"Saren already has a way of indoctrinating people, we saw that with Benezia." Kaidan said. "Why would he need the Thorian's mind control?"  
>"Something isn't adding up." Shepard said, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, increasing the vehicle's speed, and causing the cabin to rattle.<br>"This vehicle must need servicing." Lizbeth looked around at the vibrating consoles.  
>"No, that's just how Shepard drives." Kaidan said with a smile.<br>"I heard that, Lieutenant!"  
>She stepped on the throttle, rocketing the Mako forward, and the ferocious shaking made any further conversation impossible. They were close to the ExoGeni employee refuge when the radio picked up voices again.<br>"…anybody. Is there anyone picking this up?"  
>"Get away from that radio!"<br>"What was that all about?" Lizbeth shouted. "Was that Jeong and my mother? Hurry!" They pulled up at the small tunnel entrance, and Lizbeth unbuckled herself. Kaidan opened the hatch and lifted her out. She scrambled down the side of the Mako and ran out of sight.  
>"So much for going in slow." Shepard sighed. "Wrex, you coming?"<br>"No."  
>"Suit yourself."<br>Shepard and Kaidan followed Lizbeth down the path. Instead of going into the room, the girl was crouched behind a pile of crates, watching her mother and Jeong argue.

"You can't do this, Jeong!"  
>"Everyone shut up! Let me think!"<br>"You won't get away with this!"  
>"Get her out of here!" A security guard came up behind Juliana and grabbed her arms. Lizbeth stood up and ran towards her mother.<br>"Get away from her you son of a bitch!" She screeched.  
>"Lizbeth!" Juliana broke free of her captor and embraced her daughter. Jeong clenched his fists nervously.<br>"Damn it! Come out where I can see you. All of you!"  
>Shepard and Kaidan trudged out from behind the crates and walked up to Jeong.<br>"Hah. Shepard. Damn it. I knew it was too much to hope the Geth would kill you. I found some interesting facts about you in the ExoGeni database. I know what you did during the blitz. Your heroics aren't needed here."  
>"What do you think you're doing, Jeong?"<br>"Communications are back up. ExoGeni wants this place purged."  
>"This is a human colony, Jeong!" Lizbeth was shocked. "You can't just re-purpose us!"<br>"Its not just you. There's something here far more valuable than a few colonists.  
>"You're after the one unique thing Feros has. The Thorian." Shepard put her hands on her hips.<br>"The what?" Juliana asked. Her daughter turned to her.  
>"It's a telepathic life-form living under Zhu's Hope. It's taking control of the colonists there. ExoGeni knew all along."<br>Juliana faced the supervisor and repeated her earlier threat.  
>"You won't get away with this, Jeong."<br>"So you keep saying. But nobody's going to miss a few colonists!" He pulled out a small pistol and waved it around.  
>Shepard looked back at Kaidan. Her fingers twitched near her sidearm. <em>She's going to shoot him to keep him from purging the colony. <em>Is it the right thing to do? _The galaxy will be better off without this murderous weasel of a man. _He looked down at her hand, then back at her eyes, and gave her a slight nod. She nodded back, and turned her attention back to Jeong.  
>"I won't let you hurt these people any more. Drop your weapon or be prepared to use it!"<br>"If that's the way it has to be then come on!" He rushed towards her, gun pointed towards her head. "Come on!"  
>She shot him in the head before he had even taken two steps. He collapsed to his knees, and pitched forward, falling at her feet.<br>"As if we don't have enough problems." Juliana said, her head in her hands. "Now we're shooting each other in the back!"  
>"Technically, that was the head." Shepard said, staring down at the dead man. "He should have never pulled a gun on a marine and a Council Specter."<br>"It's my fault." Lizbeth sighed. "I knew what was going on and I didn't do anything."  
>"Don't you start. You do good work and you know it." Juliana hugged her daughter. "So what now, Commander?"<br>"I'll deal with the Thorian, then make sure you're safe."  
>"The colonists won't let you near the Thorian. They'd die first. They're under its control."<br>"Is there another way around them?"  
>"You could safely use a nerve agent to neutralize the colonists." Lizbeth turned towards Shepard and Kaidan, purposely not looking at Jeong's corpse. "Here!" She handed them a small capsule. "Add this to your grenades, it will release a small cloud of the nerve agent. It'll knock them out, harmlessly."<br>"Sounds good. I'll do what I can."  
>"Thank you so much, Commander. We'll stay out of your way until you clear a path. Good luck!"<p>

Kaidan and Shepard headed back towards the Mako.  
>"That was bizarre." Kaidan said, as they dropped down into the hatch.<br>"What was bizarre?" Wrex asked, his voice coming out of the shadows.  
>"Shepard shot a guy."<br>"And that's bizarre?"  
>Kaidan shrugged, and they set off back towards Zhu's Hope.<br>"Wrex, when we get back to the colony, don't shoot any of the colonists. They've been infected by the Thorian."  
>The Krogan grunted his agreement, and they sat in silence as they headed back to the colony. The door to the garage was closed, and would not open for them, so Shepard parked the Mako and motioned everyone to get out. As they walked towards the door controls, Kaidan noticed what he had thought to be a pile of debris standing up slowly. It looked like a person who had washed up with the tide, all green and melting.<br>"What the hell is that?" He yelled, as it started to lumber towards them. Shepard shot it several times in the head with her pistol, and it exploded into a pile of green sludge. "Infected or not, there's not way that was human."  
>"Great." Shepard nudged the spreading puddle with her toe. "Just don't hit the colonists. Take out whatever the hell those are."<br>"Right. Let's go."  
>Kaidan opened the small control panel for the garage door, and it hissed open, revealing a room full of the creepers.<br>"Oh, hell."

They opened fire, taking out the creatures before they could get too close. They had wiped out most of the creepers when Kaidan saw a group of colonists out of the corner of his eye.  
>"Shepard!" He pointed frantically to a small barricade by the elevator. She nodded and threw one of the modified grenades. It exploded, releasing a small cloud of green gas. The colonists collapsed, slumping up against their barrier.<br>"That's rather handy." She mused, looking at a grenade as they waited for the elevator. "Too bad they only work against plant zombies."  
>Shepard made Wrex get onboard the ancient elevator first, then she and Kaidan entered and pressed the button.<p>

When they reached to bottom, another crowd of creepers was waiting for them, as well as a group of colonists.  
>"Hold off the zombies!" Shepard yelled. "I've got to knock out the colonists!" Kaidan and Wrex used a combination of biotics and firepower to take out the wave of creepers. Shepard's well-placed grenade not only knocked out the colonists, but took out several of the zombies as well. "Good to know they do that as well!"<br>They fought their way through the camp, taking care to avoid hitting the colonists. It got harder when the mind controlled people actually started shooting back at them. Finally, they had taken out all of the creepers, but were pinned down by wild and erratic assault rifle fire.  
>"Throw a grenade at them." Wrex snarled. "We can't sit here all day."<br>"I'm out." Shepard hissed at him. "They didn't give me a lot of that serum, you know." She glared at Wrex's disapproving look. "Who's shooting at us?"  
>"It's that Arcelia woman." Kaidan said, groaning.<br>"Of course it is. I don't supposed I can just shoot her…" She locked eyes with Kaidan. "No. I supposed not. Fine. Throw up some suppressing fire for me. I have an idea." She got up, ready to run, and turned back with a grin. "Don't hit me."  
>Kaidan and Wrex fired towards where Arcelia had been, forcing the woman to hold her fire and take cover. Shepard barreled toward her and ran behind the barricade. There was a resounding crack, and she walked out, shaking her hand.<br>"That was oddly satisfying." They walked past the other woman's unconscious body, Kaidan noted the growing bruise on her face and shook his head. I bet Shepard enjoyed that. She's wanted to punch someone all day.

"There's the control for the crane. Alenko, can you make sense of them?"  
>Kaidan studied the panel.<br>"This should just take me a moment." He pressed a few buttons, and the freighter lifted off the entrance to a large tunnel. Shepard had taken two steps towards the hole when she turned suddenly, pistol out. Fai Dan stumbled out from behind piece of equipment.  
>"I tried to fight it. But it gets in your head. You can't imagine the pain." The words came out labored, as if it physically hurt him to say them. "I was supposed to be their leader. These people trusted me." He grabbed his gun with his right hand, and pointed it at the ground, before shakily aiming it at Shepard. She stared at him, head cocked to the side, but did not fire. "It want's me to stop you… But I… I won't…" he grabbed his right arm with his left hand, and slowly forced the gun to his head. "I WON'T!" He screamed, and fired.<p>

Shepard looked away as Fai Dan crumpled to the ground.  
>"Dammit." She muttered, as she holstered her sidearm.<br>"You okay?" Kaidan said, coming up alongside her.  
>"I wanted to save all of them." She sighed heavily, and pointed towards the tunnel. "Let's get this over with."<p>

They entered the tunnel, and jogged down several flights of stairs. As the light got dimmer and dimmer, the sticky sweet smell of the air got thicker. Finally, they entered a large room several stories tall.  
>"Okay." Kaidan said, clapping his hands together. "By the numbers. We just need to find…" He looked up at a large egg-shaped plant hanging from the ceiling. "To find…" <em>Was it pulsing?<em> "What… is that?"  
>"That does not look like any plant I've ever seen." Shepard stared up at it, and bit her thumbnail. "This may be problematic."<br>The squad walked towards it, carefully avoiding the slime it was dripping from several large tentacles. Suddenly, the tentacles shuddered, and an Asari dropped out from inside the Thorian.  
>"Ok, that was really disgusting." Shepard said, as they stepped backwards quickly. The Asari stood up, her face was unusually purple, and she faced them with a cold look.<br>"Invaders! Your every step is a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat, good only to dig or decompose. I speak for the Old Growth, as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian. It commands that you be in awe!"  
>"You gave something to Saren. Something I need."<br>"Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone. The Old Growth listened to flesh for the first time in the Long Cycle. Trades were made. Then cold ones began killing the flesh that would feed the next cycle. Flesh fairly given. The old growth sees the air you push as lies. It will listen no more."  
>"I won't let you keep your thralls. Release them now." Shepard's voice took on a hardness that matched the Asari's face. <em>She really does want to save everyone. <em>  
>"No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry. Your lives are short, but have gone on too long!" She called up a surge of green biotic power. "Your blood will feed the ground and the new growth!"<br>Unfortunately for the Asari, she had not noticed Wrex walking around behind her during her speech. He shot her in the back with his shotgun before she could unleash her biotics.  
>"Nicely done." Shepard said, patting the Krogan on the arm. He glared at her, and she grinned. An unearthly squalling noise came from down a small corridor, cutting the moment short. "I supposed we should find some way to deal with this creature, and whatever the hell that noise was."<br>"Probably more of those creepers." Kaidan said.  
>"Great."<p>

The corridor took them up a ramp to a small landing. The walls were open, giving them a look at both the Thorian, and the way it attached itself to the walls. Kaidan examined the large, vine like attachment.  
>"Commander, there's a node or something here. Worth looking at." Shepard stared up at it thoughtfully, then opened fire on it. The gland exploded and the vines ripped themselves out of the wall. The Thorian shuddered and dropped several feet with a loud squeal. "That's a start. We'll bring it down yet!"<br>They ran down the corridor, picking off the small groups of creepers they found lurking around, and taking out all the nodes they could see. Finally, they came up to what had to be the last one.  
>"That thing has to drop soon." Wrex said, staring over the edge of the walkway at the Thorian.<br>"Let's hope!" Shepard said as she blasted the growth. It gave way, and the Thorian let out a shrill cry and plummeted to the floor. The resulting explosion was squishy, sending large masses of plant everywhere.  
>"We are all showering before the debriefing." Shepard said, picking a piece of goo out of her hair.<br>"I'm not arguing with that." Kaidan wiped slime off of his face. "That was very unpleasant."  
>They walked back down the corridor to investigate the remains of the Thorian.<p>

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Kaidan noticed the sweet smell was slowly fading from the air. It was strange, he had almost gotten used to it. He stepped over the remains of a large pod and stopped.  
>"Shepard! The Asari!"<br>The Commander and Wrex ran over, and checked out the crumpled alien.  
>"Wrex, this isn't the one you shot, is it?"<br>"No. This one still has the back of her head." He nudged the Asari with his large foot, and she moaned. Kaidan reached down and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to her feet.  
>"I'm free!" She looked around in surprise. "I suppose I should that you for releasing me."<br>"Is everything all right? Are you hurt?" Shepard kept her hand on her sidearm, but did not draw it.  
>"I am fine. Or I will be in time. My name is Shiala. I serve… I served Matriarch Benezia. When she allied herself with Saren, so did I. Benezia foresaw the influence Saren would have. She joined him to guide him down a gentler path. But Saren is compelling. Benezia lost her way.<br>"Are you saying Saren can control minds?" Shepard glanced back at Kaidan, a look of guilt passed across her face. _Shiala doesn't know Benezia is dead. _  
>"Benezia underestimated Saren. As did I. We came to believe in his cause and hid goals. The strength of his influence is troubling."<br>"She tried to manipulated Saren." Wrex said. "But her plan backfired."  
>Shiala nodded sadly.<br>"Asari Matriarchs are among the most intelligent and powerful beings in the galaxy. How could one fall under Saren's control?"  
>"Saren has a vessel. An enormous warship unlike anything I've ever seen. He calls it Sovereign. It can dominate the minds of its followers. They become indoctrinated to Saren's will. The process is subtle. It can take days, weeks, but in the end, it is absolute. I was a willing slave when Saren brought me to this world. He needed my biotics to communicate with the Thorian, to learn its secrets. Saren offered me in trade. I was sacrificed to secure an alliance between Saren and the Thorian."<br>"Saren's pretty quick to betray his own people." Shepard slowly took her hand off her pistol. Kaidan noticed Wrex still held his shotgun slightly aimed towards the Asari.  
>"He was quick to betray the Thorian too. After he had what he wanted, he ordered the Geth to destroy all evidence of its existence. Saren knows you are searching for the conduit. He knows you are following his steps. He attacked the Thorian so you could not gain the Cipher.<br>"What's the Cipher? And why does Saren need it?"  
>"The beacon on Eden Prime gave you visions. But the visions are unclear, confusing. They were meant for a Prothean mind." Kaidan's mind suddenly flashed back to Shepard's rigid body floating in a blue glow before crashing to the ground. He shuddered. "To truly comprehend them you must think like a Prothean. You must understand their culture, their history, and their very existence. The Thorian was here long before the Protheans built this city. It watched and studied them. When they died, it consumed them. They became a part of it."<br>"So the Thorian taught Saren to think like a Prothean?" Shepard scratched the back of her neck. "How?"  
>"The Cipher is the very essence of being a Prothean. It cannot be described or explained. It would be like describing color to a creature without eyes. To understand you must have access to endemic ancestral memory. A viewpoint spanning thousands of Prothean generations." She looked back at the crushed remains of the Thorian. "I sensed this ancestral memory, the Cipher… when I melded with the Thorian. Our destinies merged, our minds intertwined. Such knowledge cannot be taught, it simply exists."<br>"Shiala. I need that knowledge to stop Saren."  
>"There is a way I can transfer the knowledge from my mind to yours, as I did with Saren." She looked uneasy, but Shepard nodded.<br>"Do it."

Shiala stepped forward and placed her hand on Shepard's cheek.  
>"Commander, is this a good idea?" Kaidan asked. <em>I don't like the idea of people poking around in her head.<em>  
>"It's the only way, Kaidan." She said softly.<br>"Try to relax, Commander. Slow, deep breathes. Let go of your physical self. Reach out to grasp the threads that bind us, one to another. Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another's spirit. We are all connected. Every living being united in a single, glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe, Commander." Shiala closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. When her eyes sprung open, they were black, pupil less. "Embrace eternity!"

Her biotics flowed over the Commander as Shepard's eyelids fluttered horribly. Kaidan stepped forward, reaching for her, but Wrex held him back. Finally, Shiala's power faded, and Shepard stumbled backwards. Wrex let go of Kaidan so he could catch her before she fell.  
>"What happened? Are you ok?"<br>She steadied herself and put her hand to her head.  
>"I saw… something. It still didn't make any more sense."<br>"You look pretty rough. We should get you back to the ship."  
>She nodded and looked at the Asari.<br>"Now that you're free of the Thorian, what are you planning to do next?"  
>"The colonist's need all the help they can get. I think I'll stay here."<br>"Let us know in the future if there is any way we can assist the colony." Shepard turned, and set off rather uneasily for the stairs.

As they climbed out of the large tunnel towards the colony, a thought struck Kaidan.  
>"Commander, do you think Sovereign was that ship we saw on Eden Prime?"<br>"I bet it was." She grimaced. "That thing was enormous. I hope we aren't going to have to take it on alone."  
>"Yeah. That won't end well."<br>They reached the top of the stairs and burst out into the sunlight. The colonists were slowly waking up, finally free of the mind control that had been plaguing them.  
>"Let's not stick around." Shepard muttered, and motioned towards the Normandy's hanger. "I don't want to be here when they find out what ExoGeni was doing to them."<br>"Good plan." Wrex said, as quietly as he could, and the squad took off running towards the ship. Approaching the Normandy, Shepard rattled off some quick instructions.  
>"Let's get cleaned off, and into the debriefing. I'm going to have Joker get us back to the Citadel. We need to drop off that stupid module with the Admiral, and I need to figure out where to go next." They entered the airlock, and she turned to go talk to Joker. "I want you both in the debriefing room in ten minutes."<p>

Kaidan jogged through the CIC and down the stairs towards the crew showers. Ashley and Tali were sitting at the mess table, going over some kind of calculations. When she saw the state of his hair, Ashley burst into hysterical laughter.  
>"Stuff it, Chief." He made a face at her. "You two need to get upstairs to the debriefing room. Get Garrus and Liara. We'll be there in a minute."<br>He walked into the showers, and realized Wrex was following him. _Ok, this is going to be weird. _He watched in confusion as Wrex stomped into the shower and turned on the water.  
>"Um, Wrex?" The Krogan turned and stared at him.<br>"Aren't you going to… get out of your armor?"  
>"This plant goo is on my armor, not under it. This is getting it off." He looked at Kaidan like he was an idiot, then turned off the water and left, leaving a trail drips behind him. <em>I hope he dries off before he gets to the debriefing room. Someone's going to slip on that. I hope its Ashley.<em>He laughed to himself, and got ready for his shower.

(A/N I'm trying to get as much of this done and uploaded before Assassins Creed Revelations and Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword come out, because those are going to suck up a ton of my time. So if there aren't any updates for a little bit, its because I'm trying to beat those. Don't worry, I will be finishing this. I have great plans for chapter 15. If you really miss me, you can always go bother me on tumblr and tell me to hurry up.)


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

Kaidan stepped out of the shower and changed into a fresh uniform. He took an extra moment with the mirror to fix his hair, and then headed up to the debriefing. Everyone was already seated, and they had obviously started without him. Muttering an apology, he took his seat between Shepard and Ashley.  
>"Are you okay, Commander? You look a little pale." He frowned at her, but she gave him a slight smile back. Before she could answer, Ashley interrupted.<br>"It's that damn Cipher! That Asari messed you up good! And for what? We still don't know where to find the stupid Conduit. What a waste." She sat back, scowling with her hand crossed over her chest. Shepard raised her eyebrows at the chief.  
>"She said it could take a while. I needed the Cipher. It's going to lead us to the Conduit. I'm just not sure how yet."<br>"I might be able to help you. I am an expert on the Protheans, if I join my consciousness to yours, maybe me can make some sense of it."  
>"Do it. We I want this sorted out before we get back to the Citadel." Shepard stood up and walking into the center of the room. Liara met her there.<br>"Relax, Commander. Embrace eternity!" Her eyes went black, as Shiala's had.  
>Kaidan gripped the edge of his chair, Shepard was standing her ground, but he could see how tightly her fists were clenched. However, when the joining was over, it was Liara who staggered backwards.<br>"That was… incredible. All this time, all my research… yet I… I never dreamed…" She leaned back on her chair for support. "I am sorry. The images were so, vivid. I never imagined the experience would be so… intense. You are remarkably strong willed, Commander. What you have been through. What you have seen would have destroyed a lesser mind."  
>"Come on, get to the point." Ashley said, shaking her head. "What did you see?"<br>"The beacon on Eden Prime must have been badly damaged. Large parts of the vision are missing. The data transferred into the Commander's mind is incomplete."  
>"Are you sure you didn't come across any kind of clue or hint? Something we might have missed?"<br>"Everything I saw you already know. You were right about the Reapers. The Protheans were destroyed by a race of sentient machines. I think it is obvious there is a connection between the Reapers, the Prothean's extinction, and the Conduit. But I did not see anything that would help us find it."  
>"What's our next move?"<br>"I was able to interpret the data relayed through your vision. What was there at least. But something was missing. Saren must have the missing information. Maybe he found another beacon! If we can find the missing data from your vision, I can… I can…" She groaned and sank into her chair. "I am sorry. The joining is exhausting. I should go to the medical bay and lie down for a moment."  
>"Right. We're pretty much done here." Shepard sat back down. "We've been running at top speed since we got this mission. I don't want to burn you guys out, so when we get back to the Citadel, I'm letting you all take furlough. Don't get into too much trouble, I'm going to need you sound of mind and with all limbs attached."<br>The intercom crackled.  
>"Does that include your faithful pilot?" Joker asked, his disembodied voice echoing through the room. Shepard laughed.<br>"Yes, Joker, you can go too. But that warning about keeping all your limbs applies doubly to you."  
>"Aye, Aye, Commander." The intercom clicked off.<br>"I believe that's everything. Dismissed."

The crew departed the debriefing room, leaving Shepard to make her report to the council. Liara headed to the med bay, while Garrus and Wrex took the elevator down to the flight deck. Tali and Ashley went back to the mess table to continue working on whatever they had been doing before the meeting. Kaidan headed over to his workstation, and started adjusting settings. For some reason his console in the bow kept disconnecting itself from the Normandy's network. He rubbed his head. _I am going to get this down thing fixed if it takes the whole trip back to the Citadel._ He threw himself into his work, barely having time to stand up when he saw Shepard walking towards him. Unfortunately, Ashley and Tali seemed to notice as well, and watched with interest from the mess table.  
>"Lieutenant." Shepard said, slightly louder than normal. "What's your opinion on the last mission?"<br>"I'm glad there aren't many aliens like the Thorian. I don't think my stomach could handle it." He idly scratched the back of his neck. "Hell of a thing with Jeong. If I ever get a speeding ticket, I want you to be my advocate."  
>"So I can shoot a judge?"<br>"Not what I meant."  
>They stood there awkwardly until Ashley stood up from the table.<br>"Tali, I think the thing we need to finish this is up in the cockpit."  
>"What? What is up there?"<br>"That thing we need!" She grabbed the Quarian by the arm and dragged her up the stairs.

As the lift departed, Kaidan looked down into Shepard's eyes.  
>"We haven't had much time to talk since our last chat. A lot was said." He glanced down at his feet. "When we talked."<br>"You seemed decisive then, Lieutenant. Why so hesitant now?" He raised his gaze back up to her face. She was smiling slightly but looked confused and worried.  
>"I don't want to distract you too much. The deeper we get into this mess, the bigger it seems." He sighed. "I'm just looking for an ear. The debriefing wasn't the right place to say how ridiculous this is. Seems like every other race in the galaxy is so wrapped up in their own problems they don't see this coming."<br>"Wanting to believe everything will be fine? Sounds like human nature to me." She laughed softly.  
>"Yeah, I guess some things carry across species well enough. I should remember that after what happened with Vyrnnus."<br>"I'd think you'd carry a grudge over the crap you took from Vyrnnus."  
>Kaidan stepped back and sat on the small bench behind him. Shepard followed, the bench was so small she had to squeeze up against him to fit. She leaned back against the wall, and he resisted the urge to lay his head on hers.<br>"Before I met Vyrnnus, I knew as much as any other civilian. Alien's were weird, superior and tried to tell us what to do. I mean, it's only been 26 years since first contact. That's not a lot of time to understand them. It was Vyrnnus who made me see how human aliens are. They're not different, or special. They're jerks and saints, just like us." He put his hands in his lap. "Hell, by the time I got payback, I didn't even want it anymore."  
>"I don't see you snapping very easily." <em>Good thing she was unconscious on the Lunar base. She would have seen it there. <em>"What finally did it?"  
>"He hurt Rahna. Broke her arm." The memories rushed back. Rahna's cry of pain, the clatter of his chair as he stood up to defend her. "She reached for a glass of water instead of pulling for it biotically. She just wanted a drink without getting a nosebleed. You know?" Shepard nodded, her hair rustling against his shoulder. "Like an idiot, I stood up. I didn't know what I was going to do, just… something. Vyrnnus lost it. Beat the crap out of me. He kept shouting how they should have bombed us back to the Stone Age. That's when the knife came up." Shepard's eyes widened. <em>I don't think this was the story she was expecting. <em>"A military issue talon, right in my face. I cut loose.  
>A full biotic kick right in the teeth. Almost as strong as I can manage now. At seventeen, that's something."<br>"You wanted to help a girl you cared for. That's a noble thing."  
>He leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. <em>I'm going to tell her this, and she's going to leave. I can just feel it. <em>  
>"Maybe my intentions were noble, but I lost control." He turned to look her in the eyes. "I killed him, Shepard."<br>Her face didn't change expression. _Might as well get everything out now._  
>"His neck snapped. They probably could have saved him if they had gotten him to the infirmary quick enough, but they didn't. Caused a stir when they shipped him home, BAaT training was shut down, Conatix folded a couple of years later. Its funny, I'm not sure who got the worst of what happened."<br>He was waiting for her to get up and leave, but instead, she put her hand on his arm.  
>"You were just a kid. How'd you deal with that mess?"<br>"I didn't. Not at the time. I wasn't upset he was dead, I was sorry that I had killed him. So, I dropped out of sight for a bit. They let me go. I guess they wanted it to blow over as much as I did. When I came back to the Alliance, it was on my terms, because I wanted to serve."  
>"Was Rahna alright?"<br>"Rahna, yeah. Yeah she was fine." His face flushed as he relived his old shame. "We never really… uh… we stopped talking after that." _The way she looked at him as Vyrnnus crumpled to the floor… Her face a mix of surprise and utter terror. She fled the room, and he only saw her once more in passing before they were all shipped out. _  
>"Tell me what happened." She squeezed his arm slightly, he wanted so badly to put his hand on hers, but he kept them in his lap, clasped together.<br>"Rahna had a gentle heart. She loved everyone. Vyrnnus terrified her. We all protected her from him. Everyone who- everyone who loved her. But after what I did to him, she was terrified of me, too." He cleared his throat, he hadn't meant to bare his soul to her. She had just come by for conversation and stupid flirting. "Anyway. This is, um… had a point here. Aliens are individuals. Just because one's an ass doesn't mean they all are. So yeah, I hated that Turian. But he wasn't a Turian to me. He was Vyrnnus."  
>She didn't buy his change of subject.<br>"So that's why you're so self controlled."  
>"I'm no more disciplined than any other biotic, Shepard. This is ancient history. I'm over it." <em>At least now I am.<em>  
>She didn't buy that either.<br>"You agonize over doing the right thing. You never let yourself lose control. Because Rahna spurned you after Vyrnnus died."  
>"That's.. all right. Maybe you have a point. Maybe." <em>Dammit, she's some kind of mind reader, I swear. <em> "But I'm okay. You don't have to worry about me. Fully functional human being." This got a laugh out of her. "You don't have to worry about me. I don't want to be a burden on you. Um… on the crew."  
>"Kaidan. You're a strong man. Talking about this doesn't make you a whiner and it doesn't make you immature. It makes you human."<br>He leaned towards her, lowering his voice.  
>"All right. But its embarrassing you had to tell me that." He leaned back, and put his head against the wall. "You're right. I might need to loosen up a little. I'll try."<br>Shepard grinned at him, squeezed his arm, and started to stand up. He grabbed her arm, and pulled her gently back down onto the bench. _Now or never time. _  
>"I'm glad you'll be here when it's all over, Shepard. I'm uh… I'm looking forward to some shore leave."<br>"As am I." She was blushing furiously, and he let go of her arm.  
>This time she really stood up, and walked into her quarters.<p>

"Alenko, your console in the cockpit is broken. Seriously. You need to come up here and fix it."  
>Joker's voice came out of a small speaker above him. Kaidan groaned. <em>Some days I really hate him. <em>He trudged up the stairs and through the CIC. Ashley, Tali and Joker were waiting expectantly.  
>"What?" He asked. "What do you nosy people want to ask me that you don't know already?"<br>"Firstly, We're sorry." Ashley said, sincerely. "We thought you and Shepard were just going to be flirting with each other. We didn't mean to listen in on your whole history."  
>"I told them to turn it off." Tali piped up. "I know how much you and Shepard guard your pasts." She looked down, nervously wringing her hands.<br>"I'm not mad at you, Tali." Kaidan said, sitting on the armrest of his chair. "I know you meant well." He turned to Ashley and Joker. "Now these two, on the other hand…"  
>They grinned at him, their faces mirror images of mischief.<br>"Anyway, we just wanted to apologize for that." Ashley said.  
>"For listening in?"<br>"No, you know we are going to do that. I meant for hearing the part we weren't supposed to."  
>"You weren't supposed to hear any of it!"<br>"Can we help it if the ship is almost completely wired with microphones?" Joker asked, a look of childlike innocence on his face. "It is a military vessel, after all."  
>Kaidan realized he couldn't win this round.<br>"Fine. Just don't spread it around the rest of the crew. And keep your mouths shut while we are on the Citadel. The last thing I need is a court martial for breaking protocol." They all nodded.  
>"Damn, I'm hungry." Ashley said, stretching her arms out. "Let's grab some food. Then Garrus wanted us to teach him how to play poker."<br>"Seriously?"  
>"Yeah. Apparently, it's all the rage on the Citadel. Who knew?"<br>"Fine!" Joker called to them as they walked away. "Just leave me here, on my own. By myself. Alone."  
>"Ignore him, he'll be listening to the conversation anyway." Ashley said as they walked through the CIC.<br>"Believe me, I'm aware of that." Kaidan answered.

They joined various other members of the Normandy crew for dinner, then cleared the table for poker. It started slowly, Wrex thought it was stupid and wandered off, Ashley accused Liara of mind reading, and Tali's mask allowed her to bluff to her hearts content. Finally, they came up with a system that worked and got down to the actual game. They played for several hours, Shepard even came out and joined them for a few hands before she had to meet with Pressley. When the Commander sat down across from Kaidan, a shiver ran up his spine. _Hadn't this happened before? Or did I dream that?_He shook off the déjà vu, and placed his bet.

He lost. Horribly. Shepard laughed as she took his money, and got up from the table.  
>"I advise you to quit now, Lieutenant, or you won't have any spending money for your free evening." She pocketed his credits, and headed upstairs.<br>"I think I will call it a night. I want to be awake when we get to the Citadel." He pushed his chair out from the table. "Are you guys going to keep playing?"  
>"I am! I like this game." Tali said from behind her giant pile of credits.<br>"Yeah. I want to win some of my credits back." Ashley said. "Or else our Quarian friend will be covering everyone's tab later."  
>"Good luck with that." He yawned and wandered back towards the sleep pods. An Ensign from engineering occupied his usual one, so he headed down to the back of the room. He crawled inside the vacant pod and was asleep the minute the door closed. He slept hard, only waking when Ashley banged on the glass.<br>"Wake up, LT! We're almost to the Citadel! Let's go! Free time!" Her obnoxiously perky face disappeared from view, and he swung the door open. He then joined the rest of the crew at the mess where Shepard was sitting at the head of the table with a datapad.

"Ah, Alenko. Glad you're here. I was just about to go over the schedule and ground rules for this evening." Kaidan took a seat on the edge of the table since all of the chairs were occupied. "Captain Anderson is going to come aboard and give everyone a brief mission update. After that, you are all free to depart for the evening. Garrus knows an out of the way bar where mostly Alliance and C-Sec officers drink. We should be landing…" She checked the clock. "At 2100 hours. I want you all back on board by 0600. I don't care what mental state you are in, I just want you onboard. If you are still drunk, we'll stick you in a sleeper pod. Odds are wherever we are going next will take a day, so you'll have some recovery time. But I want everyone to come back whole, and not on the run from any guards, mercs or ladies of negotiable affection. Williams, you'll be in charge of Joker and his wheelchair, make sure he doesn't break anything. Wrex, don't start any fights. Alenko, stay away from the Asari Consort. That should be everything. I might be coming by to check on you after my meeting with the Admiral, so don't get too rowdy." She stood up. "Go ahead and get yourselves all prettied up. I want everyone in the debriefing room when we make port."

She headed back to her cabin, and Kaidan wondered if she was going to pretty herself up. He smiled at the thought, and went back to the shower area to change into a fresh uniform. _What did she mean, stay away from the Asari Consort? _Stopping by a mirror to double-check his hair, he headed out towards the stairs, and up to the debriefing room. Tali, Liara and Ashley were already there, clustered in the back of the room. Ashley had let her hair down out of its usual ponytail, which was causing quite a stir.  
>"It's so soft…" Liara said, gently stroking Ashley's head. The Chief looked uncomfortable, but didn't say anything. "And shiny…" The Asari ran her hand self-consciously over the crest of her own head.<br>Kaidan tried not to laugh as he took his seat. Ashley was doing well with her attitude towards aliens if she was letting them pet her.

Joker brought the ship in for a smooth landing, and the rest of the squad filed in. A few minutes later, Shepard came in, followed by Captain Anderson. Shepard sat in her usual place next to Kaidan, and Anderson stood next to her, his back to the transmitter used to contact the council.  
>"When you leave tomorrow, you'll be heading to the Hoc system of the Sentry Omega cluster. A small planet called Virmire. Frankly, I'd never heard of it until the council passed this information along, so it's pretty far out there. We've gotten word from Captain Kirrahe and his Salarian Recon team that they have information about Saren. The message was fairly garbled, but we'll be sending you in to investigate. Hopefully they will have what you need to catch up to Saren." He sighed, and leaned back against the transmitter. "The other thing I wanted to talk to you about is less hopeful, and much more disturbing. You all know the reports that have been coming in about the Cerberus group?" Kaidan was surprised to see almost everyone nodding. Apparently, Alliance networks were not as secure as he had thought.<br>"Excuse me, Captain." Liara put her hand up as if she were at school. "I have been… occupied at a dig site for some time. What is Cerberus?"  
>"They are a pro-human paramilitary group. They have been accused of using sabotage, assassination and dangerous experiments to further the role of humans in the galaxy. Both the Alliance and the Council have identified them as a terrorist organization." He sighed, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "That's the news I have. It turns out they have been experimenting on Thresher Maws. They set up a fake distress beacon on a remote planet directly underneath a nest. We lost an entire squad of marines." He looked around the room as everyone winced. "No, it gets worse. Evidence has recently come to light that they may have lured the Thresher Maws to the Akuze colony." Ashley cried out in anger and went to stand up. Kaidan grabbed her arm, and brought her back down. They had all lost friends in the massacre. "I wish that was the end of it." The Captain said. "We received the information from Rear Admiral Kahoku. After filing his report, he went missing. A patrol group just found him in an abandoned Cerberus facility on Binthu. He's dead."<br>"Are we sending people after Cerberus?" Shepard asked, anger on her face.  
>"Small recon teams. We have no idea what their organization is like, and how many people actually work for them. I just wanted you all to be up to speed." He turned to the Marines. "After this Saren business is over, you are most likely going to be running patrols for Geth reports, but I want you to be on the lookout for anything you hear about this group."<br>"Why did you want us in here for this?" Garrus asked. "After we catch Saren, this will go back to being an Alliance ship. We won't be involved at all."  
>"Cerberus is doing things that affect us all." Anderson answered. "I want you all to be alert of the situation. You may encounter them before we do. Now. I didn't mean to put a damper on things. I know you all have furlough. Put this out of your minds for now. Go have a some free time." He and Shepard left, and headed down to retrieve the data module for the Admiral.<p>

"That was a lot to take in." Tali said, rubbing her head. "Are his briefings always like that?"  
>Kaidan nodded.<br>"Fast, and full of information. Now, Garrus, lead us onward to the bar!"  
>Ashley made a quick stop in the cockpit to get Joker into his wheel chair, then the group departed the Normandy. They made a strange sight, three Alliance soldiers, one in a wheelchair, an Asari, a Turian, A Quarian and a Turian. All laughing and making jokes as they walked through the wards. Kaidan smiled to himself as they entered the bar. <em>This was definitely going to be an interesting evening. <em>


	15. Chapter 15

(A/N it was pointed out to me that I posted chapter 9 instead of 14. Oops. Totally fixed now. Sorry, everyone!)

CHAPTER 15

The bar was small, the music loud. Garrus made his way through the crowd and waved everyone over to a large booth near the back. They parked Joker's chair, then squeezed in and browsed the drink menus.

"We're doing shots tonight." Ashley said, grinning at everyone. "That's not optional."

"I don't think they have Quarian drinks here." Tali sounded relieved.

"They're on the back of the menu." Garrus flipped her menu around, and ignore her glare. "What? If I have to do shots, you have to do shots."

The waitress came around, everyone ordered their drink of choice, while Ashley asked for several shots of each liquor appropriate for the groups many species.

"Why did we come to this bar?" Kaidan asked, looking around. Alliance and C-Sec officers were relaxing at nearby tables, other aliens who most likely worked in the nearby shops were also there. This seemed to be as close as the Citadel had to a neighborhood pub.

"I used to come here after work sometimes. And I don't think we're allowed in Chora's Den anymore." Garrus replied. The waitress arrived with a heavy tray of drinks, and handed them out. "Speaking of Chora's Den, last time we were there didn't you mention starting a bar brawl?"

Ashley choked on her beer.

"Alenko, we have to hear this story!"

Sighing, Kaidan grabbed his drink and took a big swig. _I guess with this crew, everything is out in the open. _It was almost a relief, not having to be guarded. He leaned his elbows on the table and started his story.

"Okay, so when I was in Basic Training, I was bunkmates with this guy named Stevens. He was a big hit with the ladies, had a girl everywhere we made port, and a few in our training group as well. Anyway, so we've gone back to Earth after our first rotation in space. We have a weekend's leave, so we hit this bar near the base. Stevens is doing his thing, flirting with every female in the bar, until he hits on the wife of some giant merc. This guy turns around, and he's about a foot taller than Stevens." Kaidan stopped to take a drink. "Ok, so this guy and his friends are ready to pound both of us to a pulp. I'm sitting behind Stevens at the bar, and I use my biotics to hit the guy on the back of the head with a bottle. He turns around and slugs the guy behind him, who is an equally, if not BIGGER merc. They start going at it, their friends jump in, and Stevens and I try to slip out the emergency exit." He held up his finger as he took another drink, signaling that the story was not over yet. "I had my hand on the door when the whole group turns, realizes the fight is our fault, and starts towards us. I use my biotics to throw all of the glassware at them, and we booked it out the front. We're still running two blocks later, and that's when I realize we're not alone." He downed the rest of his beer, and finished his story. "The merc's wife had been with us the whole time. I guess Stevens finally realized she was more trouble than she was worth, because he sent her back to the bar. We shipped back out the next day, which was a good thing, because she and her husband apparently showed up at the base. Thankfully, they never got our names so we never had to pay for the damage to the bar or the guy's face."

The group applauded, and Ashley stood up with her shot.

"To Kaidan, may he one day find the courage to be a little wild again!" Everyone clinked glasses and drank.

"Oh, Goddess!" Liara practically spat her drink out. "Garrus, did I get yours on accident?"

"Nope. I think they gave you vodka."

"What's it made from?"

"Potatoes." Ashley said, grinning.

"What's a potato?"

"Forget it. Just be glad I didn't get you tequila." She raised her own empty shot glass, then set it upside down on the table. "So I had a brilliant way to get us all completely hammered."

"Drinking normally isn't good enough for you?" Wrex asked, his mug steaming slightly.

"Nope! Not on a night off! Anyway, when Shepard gets here, everyone has to take a shot every time she raises her eyebrows." She handed Kaidan another beer, and took ones for herself and Joker.

"This is going to be a short evening." Tali said, using a small straw to sip her drink through her mask. "They are going to have to wheel us all out in Joker's chair."

They were still laughing about that when Shepard arrived, She had ditched her dress blues for the more comfortable and form fitting off-duty uniform. She looked at them all suspiciously, and raised her eyebrows.

"What's going on here?"

"SHOT!" Ashley yelled, and shoved a glass into Shepard's hand. Everyone, including a confused Shepard, took their shots. "So how was the meeting, Commander?" Shepard sighed and sat down next to Kaidan.

"Wonderful. I'm so glad we've been out of communications range for most of this mission. Hackett had all of these errands he wanted us to-"

"Commander Shepard?" They all turned to stare at the interrupter. A tall blonde man with an anxious expression on his face hovered next to Shepard's arm. "It is you! The hero of Eden Prime! I'm so honored to meet you!"

"Um, its nice to meet you too." Shepard shook his outstretched hand. "And you are?"

"My name is Conrad. Conrad Verner. Remember me?" He smiled nervously. "They say you killed more than a hundred Geth on Eden Prime!"

"They say a lot of things." Shepard shot a dirty look at Ashley, who was laughing into her beer. "I was too busy trying to save the colonists to count."

"Hey, I see that you are busy here, but do you have time for a quick autograph?" He pulled out a small datapad and held it out to her. She signed it awkwardly, and handed it back. "Thanks! I really appreciate it! My wife is going to be so impressed! I'll let you get back to your group. But the next time you're on Earth, I'd love to buy you a drink! Thanks again!" He wandered back over to the bar.

"Someone married that guy?" Joker shook his head. "He seemed twitchy."

"He's probably just nervous around the military. He's not in uniform or anything." Kaidan pointed out.

"Yeah, definitely not military." Garrus said.

"So who is that guy? Have you met him before?" Ashley asked, as she signaled the waitress for another round.

"He's been messaging me nonstop for months." Shepard grabbed Kaidan's beer and took a long drink out of it. She grinned at his look of mock outrage. "Sorry, Lieutenant. I needed a drink, and I outrank you." _I have to watch how much I drink tonight, or I'm going to do something stupid. _

Wrex was telling a story about tracking an Asari Commando when the waitress returned with a full tray of glasses. As he paused to get his drink, a familiar voice floated across the room.

"Hey! Shepard! It's me! Conrad Verner!"

"He sound's like he's more drunk than Ashley." Shepard whispered to Kaidan, looking across the table. Ashley was teasing Joker by holding a beer just out of his reach. Kaidan laughed as Conrad ran back over to their table.

"There are rumors on the extranet that you've been made the first human Spectre! That's incredible!"

Shepard raised her eyebrows at him.

"SHOT!" There was no getting anything past Ashley, not even when she was tipsy. They all took their drinks as Conrad swayed nervously.

"Right. Conrad. We talked a few minutes ago."

"You remember me? Wow. Guys must try to talk to a lady like you all the time." Kaidan buried his face in his hands. It hurt to watch. "But, you remember me… That really means something."

Shepard dug her elbow into his side.

"It was just about thirty minutes ago that we talked, Conrad."

"Yeah." His face brightened. "Can I get your picture?"

"I don't have a problem with it. But why?"

"Are you kidding? Nobody will believe that I talked with the beautiful Commander Shepard unless I get a picture." As he fumbled in his pocket for his camera, Kaidan tried to lean away.

"Oh no you don't." Shepard hissed at him, dragging him back by the arm. "Do not leave me alone with this man." She put her head on his shoulder and held him in place as Conrad took the photo. He let his head rest against hers, and took the opportunity to breath in deeply. Whatever shampoo she was using, it was not Alliance issued. Her hair smelled faintly of vanilla, and he tried his best to memorize the scent. Who knew if he was ever going to be this close to her again?

"Thanks again, Commander! I'm going to hang this in my living room! My wife will love it!" As he stumbled back to the bar, Shepard released her death grip on Kaidan's arm. He jerked upright, letting her sit back up. She grinned at him, and grabbed her beer.

Once Conrad was out of earshot, the group burst into hysterical laughter.

"That was quite possibly the strangest thing I have seen in a long time." Liara stirred her drink absently. "I think that man has some kind of mental problem."

"I know a few people who probably want a copy of that picture." Garrus said, staring at Kaidan. Tali and Ashley snickered, but surprisingly he didn't feel his face go red. The shots were kicking in, and he was feeling good. _Who even cares? She knows, I know, they all know. Nothing is going to happen, I might as well enjoy this before I get transferred to another ship._

"As long as Admiral Hackett doesn't see it, I don't care." Shepard laughed. "Anderson knows we are all out tonight, but I don't think the Admiral would be very understanding." She finished her beer, and grabbed another. "So lets not tell him."

Two hours later, Kaidan was drunk. Shepard had been very incredulous at some story of Ashley's and had raised her eyebrows several times during the telling. Three shots later, they realized she had figured them out, and was doing it on purpose. He leaned back in his seat, perfectly content to listen to the chaos around him. Liara and Tali were deep in conversation about some planet he had never even heard of. Tali was gesticulating wildly, apparently when no one can see your face, you talk with your hands. Joker was telling Shepard about his days at flight school, and Wrex was teaching Ashley and Garrus a Krogan drinking song. There wasn't so much singing as there was grunting, drinking and punching each other, but Ashley seemed to be enjoying herself immensely. Shepard stopped talking to Joker and stared at her squad.

"What are you guys doing? I didn't realize I was crewing a ship of ruffians!"

"Too bad you missed Kaidan's barbarian brawl story!" Ashley shot back.

"What? I wanted to hear that one!" Shepard punched him in the arm.

"Damn! Now who's a ruffian?" He made a face at her and rubbed his arm.

"Shepard!" A voice slurred from behind them.

"Fuuuuck." Shepard put her hand on her face. "What is it Conrad?"

"I have an idea I want to run by you." He leaned on the table, steadying himself.

"I have a lot going on right now, but I guess I can spare a minute."

"Great! This will just take a minute." He shoved himself into the booth, forcing Shepard onto Kaidan's lap. _This night just keeps getting better. _She looked at him apologetically, but he just grinned stupidly at her. She smiled back, then turned to face Conrad again. "With so many human colonies under attack, I'm not sure that one Spectre is enough. What if you signed me on as another Spectre?

Wrex let out a laugh that shook the table, Ashley choked on her beer again, and the rest of the group stared with mouths open. Garrus slapped Ashley on the back.

"Conrad, I don't think that's a good idea."

"But I'd make a great Spectre! I'd be right there with you, showing the Council what humanity is capable of." Conrad was leaning in, practically inches away from Shepard's face. Kaidan protectively put his arm around her waist. _Who was this guy, getting that close to her?_ _He doesn't get to be that close to her. Wow, I am drunk. _"I want to be with you, fighting the good fight! Like you did on Elysium during the Skyllian Blitz!"

"I believe you Conrad. But there's another fight that needs you." She put her hand on his shoulder and gently pushed him away.

"What? I don't understand."

"You know what keeps me going out here? Knowing that people back home are keeping humanity strong."

"You- you're right. I just got caught up in all of it. I wanted to help."

"I'll go home. Thanks for setting me straight." He pulled himself up, saluted awkwardly, and wobbled off, this time leaving the bar.

"Well, that was creepy." Shepard picked at the label on her beer. "Let's hope we don't see that guy again."

"Umm, Commander?" Joker was trying to hide a grin behind his hand. "You're still sitting on the Lieutenant."

"Right." Shepard slid off his lap into the space vacated by Conrad. She laughed nervously. "That's another thing the Admiral doesn't get to know about."

Liara yawned, and poked Garrus.

"I think I'm going back to the ship. Stand up so I can get out."

"We should all probably turn in. We don't want to be hung over as we save the galaxy." Shepard stood up, stretching her arms out and sighing. "Time to turn back into respectable members of galactic society."

They filed out of the booth, and Shepard wandered over the to bartender to settle their tab. Ashley came up and threw her arm around Kaidan's shoulder.

"Well, LT, we had a night out, and nobody died."

"I could shoot someone if it would make you feel better."

"Nah, I'm good." She nodded her head towards the Commander and grinned. "I think you're good too."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"None of us do." Garrus said, coming up behind him. "But we all will be scouring the extranet for that picture."

"Great."

"What are we talking about?" Shepard said, as they walked out of the bar.

"Invisible pictures the Admiral will never see."

"Ah. That makes sense."

Outside of the bar, Ashley took off running, pushing Joker's chair ahead of her. After several yards, she kicked her feet up and rode on the back through the empty concourse of the Citadel.

"That looks like fun." Tali said, almost wistfully. "I bet I could install a motor on that thing that would give him some impressive speed."

"Don't ever mention that to him." Shepard laughed. "We'd lose him as a pilot if he found out he could be locally mobile at high speeds."

It took them twice as long to get back to the elevator than it had taken them to get to the bar. Liara kept wandering off to look at things, and Garrus was having a hard time walking in a straight line. Ashley and Joker had returned, and were riding in circles around the group.

"I swear, you guys are harder to keep together than my goats were." Shepard said grumpily.

Ashley and Joker skidded to a halt.

"Goats?" Ashley's mouth was open. "What about goats?"

"You're hearing things, Chief. I said nothing about goats."

Ashley looked confused, then shook it off as if she had maybe made it up in her head.

Finally, they reached the elevator, and Tali leaned against the button. When the doors opened, everyone but Shepard piled in.

"I'm just going to wait for the next one. It would be undignified for me to cram in there with you lot."

"Yeah, no." Ashley leaned out and pulled her in just as the door closed, where she ended up smashed between Kaidan and Wrex.

"Wrex." She nodded at the Krogan, who grunted back at her. "Lieutenant."

He looked down at her, and smiled. Before he could say anything to her, Wrex took a sudden step forward, pressing Shepard into his chest. "Wrex, what the hell?"

"That was my fault, Commander!" Ashley called out from the far side of the elevator.

"Chief, what's going on over there?"

"She and Liara are dancing to the elevator music." Joker said, his voice cracking with laughter. Shepard shook her head, then grinned up at Kaidan.

"I can't take you people anywhere."

The elevator doors opened, and they practically fell out onto the hanger deck. Ashley and Liara continued their miniature dance party from the lift into the airlock, dragging an unenthusiastic Garrus and Tali behind them. Unlike the elevator, they definitely didn't all fit into the airlock. Somehow, Kaidan and Shepard ended up being the ones to wait behind. _They did that on purpose. _His suspicions were confirmed when Joker flashed them a thumbs up as the doors closed. _If I open my mouth right now, whatever I say is going to be incredibly stupid. _He leaned up against the railing and waited for Shepard to say something. She didn't say anything, she just stood in the middle of the walkway, swaying slightly.

He sighed, and walked over to her.

"Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?" She met his gaze, then looked down.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just not used to acting like a real person. I always have to be Commander Shepard. War Hero. Spectre. I never get to do this. Have fun. Be normal."

"I thought you said you enjoy being a mystery. You also told me you make a point to know everyone on your crew as a person."

"Damn, you remember everything." She laughed softly. "I like meeting people. I've never really been allowed to let people know me, so I try to know everyone."

"What? Did you have to be a mystery person before you joined the Alliance?"

"In a way. Our gang was supposed to be intimidating. And it was hard to make friends with people if you were maybe going to have to shoot them later. It happened once, and I felt horrible."

The airlock doors opened, and they walked in, waiting for the decontamination to start.

"How is that different from making friends with us? Like Jenkins. You didn't kill him, but you were trying to get to know him, and then he died. Doesn't that hurt at all?"

"Of course it hurts! You felt the guilt after Eden Prime, too. But it's something we all knew when we enlisted. There is a big chance we could all die before we muster out. I always assumed I would."

"Stop saying that! We are all going to get out of this."

"You all will. I'm not going to let anything happen to my crew." She held his gaze as the doors hissed open. "I'm not losing you." She turned and headed quickly but unsteadily toward the CIC.

Kaidan turned the conversation over in his head. He was coming down off his buzz, but was still having a hard time making connections in his brain. _I guess that makes us as official as we will ever get. I just wish I knew what was going to happen now. _He made his way though the empty ship to the sleep pods. He reached the bottom of the stairs just in time to see Shepard's cabin door slide close. _I wish I could just go in there and crawl into bed with her. Maybe when we get leave. _He grinned to himself, and climbed into the last open pod. He drifted to sleep thinking of shore leave. They just had to get through a few more missions. Things were falling into place, they were going to get through this just fine.

(A/N Augh, Skyrim is sucking my soul out through my eyes, and distracting me from writing. But I'm getting a laptop next week, so I can go write at Starbucks and hide from the Xbox. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter (and the correct chapter!) up soon. Again, thanks everyone for reading! I love all of you.)


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Kaidan awoke the next morning feeling thirsty, but thankfully, he wasn't hung over. He climbed out of his pod and headed for the mess table where Ashley, Liara and Garrus were clustered quietly eating breakfast.

"How's everyone feeling?" Kaidan asked, grabbing a tray and sitting next to a pale Ashley. She groaned and rubbed her forehead.

"I'll be better by the time we get to Virmire, but right now, I think I'm going to die."

"You'll be fine, Chief. Just have some coffee." He slid a mug across the table to her. "How's Joker?"

"Perfectly fine. I'm starting to think he's a robot or something."

"You two seemed to be hitting it off pretty well last night." He gave her a light punch in the shoulder.

"He's a good guy. I just don't think either of us are at a point where we need attachments, you know? He's basically married to the Normandy, and I'm probably going to get transferred to another marine group after this mission. Besides, I'm young, and have plenty of time after I muster out to find someone. We can't all treat the Alliance Military as a dating service." She grinned at him, and downed her coffee. "Thankfully we have another 4 hours until we get to Virmire, so I have plenty of time to get back to feeling good. How did things go with you and the Commander last night when we ditched you at the airlock?" She punched him back.

Liara and Garrus scooted their chairs closer to listen, and Kaidan rolled his eyes at them.

"Nothing happened. We just talked." Liara and Ashley looked disappointed. "Basically we just need to focus on getting everyone through this mission. Then we can figure out what we are."

"Well, LT, keep us posted." Ashley stood up and walked towards the showers.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to do that." Kaidan mumbled to himself, then turned to Garrus. "Have you ever been out to this planet? Is there really anything out there?"

"Not that I know of. It's too close to the Terminus system for colonization. Every time someone tries to set something up, it gets raided by pirates."

"It's a shame." Liara added. "I hear it's a beautiful tropical garden world. There are several species that it would be perfect for." She nodded at them, and left the table. Garrus left a few minutes later, saying something about recalibrating the Mako before the mission.

Kaidan grabbed a datapad and scanned the extranet for any major news. He didn't find any, it looked like the Council was keeping a lid on their mission for now. He was browsing news from Earth when Joker's voice came over the intercom.

"Lieutenant, just a heads up, the Commander is taking you and Williams in the Mako when we get to Virmire. The rest of us will meet you at the Salarian camp."

"Oh great. Hung-over Ashley is just going to love that."

"Yup. I do not envy you at all." A soft click signaled the end of the transmission, so Kaidan headed down to the lockers to prep his armor and weapons. A few minutes later Ashley came down, hair slightly damp, and pulled all of her gear out of her locker. As she organized her things, Kaidan realized she was talking to herself quietly.

"Chief, what are you doing?"

She looked up, startled.

"Oh. Sometimes I recite stuff to help myself focus while I go through my prep routine."

"What were you reciting?"

She gave him a half smile, then stood up straight, and stared over his shoulder, as if the words were written on the wall behind him.

"I cannot rest from travel; I will drink life to the lees. All times I have enjoy'd greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those that loved me and alone. For always roaming with a hungry heart. Much have I seen and known. Cities of men, and manners, climates, councils, governments…"

"Ulysses? Never thought you'd be one for poetry."

"Stuff it, LT." She grinned at him, and went back to cleaning her gun. "It was my Dad's favorite. He used to read it me. You got a problem with that?"

"Nope. I'll leave you to your poetry and rifle inspection." She gave him an overenthusiastic salute as he shoved his armor back into his locker. "See you in a few hours, Ash." He headed back up to his station to untangle more coding. It seemed like he was going to be doing this job forever, every time he adjusted settings on this station, his station in the cockpit overcorrected itself. There had to be a way to manually stop it from doing that. He grabbed his datapad and set to work.

Several hours later, Joker paged him to the flight deck. He shut down his workstation, and headed back down to gear up. Ashley and Shepard were waiting for him near the Mako, so he suited up, and they climbed into the transport.

"Commander, I'm reading a signal." Joker's voice crackled over the intercom. "Must be our Salarian infiltration team."

Kaidan flipped on his radar screen.

"I'm picked up readings of some major defense towers." He radioed back to the pilot.

"Okay, Joker, get ready to drop the Mako. We'll go in hot, and take them out." Shepard revved the engine, and prepared to drive out the back of the Normandy.

"I'll get you in underneath their radar, Commander." The door opened, and Shepard floored it, sending the Mako flying off the ship.

The sudden loss of altitude made Kaidan's stomach drop, and he turned to look at Ashley. She was slightly green, but gave him a thumbs up. They landed with a thud, but thankfully not on the side of a mountain.

"Looks like we've got a clean drop, Commander." Joker's connection was bad, his voice sounded muted and mechanical.

"Nice job, Joker." Shepard answered. "Stay out of the range of the AA towers until I bring them down!"

"Aye, Aye. We will meet you at the camp once those towers are down. Joker out."

Shepard drove the Mako at a breakneck speed through the low waves of Virmire's beach. The path was narrow, and the Mako was having a hard time gripping the wet sand, so the transport was sliding all over the place. Kaidan watched small dots on his radar screen rush past. They were reading as organic, but not hostile, so he glanced out his small window to see what they looked like. A four-legged creature that resembled a walking table galloped along the waterfront. It didn't seem to pose any threat, so he decided not to warn Shepard about them until there was a horrible crunching sound a few minutes later.

"Alenko, what did I just run over?" She yelled, without stopping.

"Native wildlife, Commander."

"Let's hope its not endangered." She sounded guilty, and a little remorseful.

As they wound their way through the cliffs towards the towers, they encountered small patrol groups of Geth troopers that were no match for the Mako. Any Geth that were not felled by Ashley's guns were promptly run over. They blasted through several gatehouses, before reaching the gun control tower. The Mako slid to a stop in front of it, and the squad climbed out, guns ready. They fought their way up into the control room, Ashley leading the way with her shotgun. When they reached the AA Gun controls, Kaidan went to work shutting off the power while Shepard and Ashley guarded the door.

"I'm reading that the grid is down, Commander. On approach to the Salarian base now. Joker out."

"Nice work, Alenko." Shepard gave him a smile. "Lets get out of here and go meet up with the recon team."

They hurried back to the Mako, and took off down the beach. Several hundred yards before they reached the Salarian camp, Joker came back on over the intercom.

"Commander, the Normandy's touched down at the base, but it looks like we're grounded. The Salarian Captain can explain when you get here."

"Whaat?" Ashley muttered from the back seat. "This had better be good."

They pulled up to the camp and crawled out of the Mako. The rest of their team was meeting with the Salarian Captain halfway down the beach. Stomping towards them, Ashley threw her hands into the air.

"You've grounded us? What are we supposed to do now?"

"Stay put until we can come up with a plan." The Salarian glared at her, and turned to Shepard. "Commander. I'm Captain Kirrahe, Third Infiltration Regiment STG. You and your crew have just landed in the middle of a hot zone. Every AA gun within ten miles has been alerted to your presence."

"Okay…" Shepard looked at him expectantly. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"We stay put until the council sends the reinforcements we requested."

Ashley went pale, and Kaidan stepped up next to Shepard.

"We are the reinforcements." He said, nodding at the Commander.

"What?" Kirrahe snapped. "You're all they sent? I told the council to send a fleet!"

"We couldn't understand your transmission. They sent us to investigate." Shepard rubbed her forehead.

"That is a repetition of our task. I lost half my men investigating this place!"

"So what have you found?" Kaidan asked. He didn't like the Salarian's tone.

"Saren's base of operations. He's set up a research station here, but it's crawling with Geth, and very well fortified."

"Is he here? Have you seen him?" Shepard's eyes lit up, her face was eager.

"No, but his Geth are everywhere and we've intercepted some comms referring to Saren. This is his facility, there's no doubt about that."

"Do we know what he's researching?" asked Liara.

"He's using the facility to breed an army of Krogan."

"How is that possible?" Wrex shoved Liara and Tali aside to stand in front of Kirrahe.

"Apparently Saren has discovered a cure for the genophage."

"What's so important about curing this genophage?" Ashley looked confused. Wrex glared at her.

"It was the solution to the Krogan problem." He said, his low voice dripping with sarcasm.

"We introduced the genophage to the Krogan population after the uprising to quell their numbers." Kirrahe said. "Without it, the Krogan will quickly overrun the galaxy. And these Krogan follow Saren."

"We have to stop this. With a Krogan army, Saren would be unstoppable." Shepard ran her hands through her hair.

"Exactly my thoughts. We must insure that this facility and its secrets are destroyed."

"Destroyed?" Wrex was practically vibrating with anger. "I don't think so. Our people are dying. This cure can save them."

"If that cure leaves this planet, the Krogan will become unstoppable." Kirrahe said coldly. "We can't make the same mistake again."

Wrex leaned forward, his sharp teeth inches away from the Captain's face.

"We are not a mistake." He rumbled, and stomped off.

"Is he going to be a problem? We already have enough angry Krogan to deal with."

"Don't worry. I'll go talk to him in a minute." Shepard sighed.

"I do worry. That's why I'm still alive." The Captain left, leaving the team in a small circle.

"Looks like things are a bit of a mess." Kaidan said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be so worried if it weren't for Wrex." Ashley added. "It looks like he's going to blow a gasket."

"Do you think I should go talk to him now?" Shepard watched Wrex out of the corner of her eye.

"It wouldn't hurt. Well, it might actually. Just do it carefully."

"I'll be careful." She looked miserably at Ashley. "But be ready, just in case." She turned and set off down the beach. Ashley carefully pulled her rifle off her backplate.

"What are you doing, Chief?" Kaidan asked warily.

"If she can't talk him down, I have to take him out before he gets out of control."

They watched nervously as Shepard and Wrex argued. The pounding surf covered up anything that was said, but there were enough waving arms to indicate the level of anger. Finally, Wrex pulled out his pistol and practically set it on Shepard's forehead.

"Ash, Ash, Ash…" Kaidan twitched with anxiety. The Chief carefully aimed her rifle.

"Shepard hasn't given the signal yet. Do you trust her?"

"More than anything, but I don't know about Wrex. He's really angry…" He watched in horror, not wanting to breath as Shepard stared down the Krogan. The argument lasted for what seemed like an eternity, then Wrex holstered his gun, and stalked back to the Normandy. Kaidan breathed out, his knees practically buckling.

Shepard jogged back over, and signaled Kaidan and Ashley to follow her over to Kirrahe.

"Thank you for speaking to the Krogan." The Captain said. "The assault on Saren's base will be difficult enough as is."

"I assume that means you've come up with a plan?"

"Of sorts. We can convert our ship's drive system into a twenty-kiloton ordinance. Crude, but effective."

"Nice." Ashley nodded. "Drop that nuke from orbit, and Saren can kiss his Turian ass goodbye!"

"Unfortunately, the facility is too well fortified for that. We'll need to place the bomb at a precise location."

"Where do we take the nuke?" Shepard asked. "And how do we get there?"

"The bomb must be taken to the far side of the facility. Your ship can drop it off, but we'll need to infiltrate the base, disable the AA guns, and pacify any ground forces first."

"You want us to go in on foot? We don't have enough men!" Kaidan was starting to get nervous. This did not sound like the smoothest operation.

"He's right. There just aren't enough of us for a frontal assault." Shepard said. Kirrahe nodded.

"I'm going to divide my men into three teams and hit the front of the facility. While we have their attention, you can sneak a shadow team into the back."

"It's a good idea, but your people are going to get slaughtered!"

"We're tougher than we look, Commander. But it's true. I don't expect many of us to make it out alive. And that makes what I'm going to ask even more difficult. I need one of your men to accompany me."

"You'll need someone who knows Alliance protocols." Shepard turned to look at Ashley and Kaidan. She looked back and forth between them, obviously weighing the situation heavily in her mind.

Kaidan stood at attention, and swallowed hard.

"Commander, we need both teams at their best. I volunteer."

"Not so fast, LT!" Ashley sounded indignant. "Commander Shepard will need you to arm the nuke. I'll go with the Salarians."

"With all due respect, Gunnery Chief, its not your place to decide." She glared at him.

"Why is it whenever someone says 'with all due respect', they really mean 'kiss my ass'?"

"Alenko." Shepard voice cracked. "You're the superior officer. You go with the captain. Keep it simple."

"Aye, aye, Commander."

"Very well." Kirrahe nodded at Kaidan. "I'll have the ordinance loaded onto he Normandy, and have your crew briefed on its detonation sequencing. Do you have any questions before we go, Commander?"

"The Normandy will pick us up. How will your team escape the blast?"

"We will engage the Geth as long as possible. Once the bomb is in place, we will fall back and try to escape the blast radius. If we hurry, we should be able to escape with acceptable casualties. If not, then our memories will live on as martyrs to a greater cause."

Shepard and Ashley both went pale.

"You talk like this is a suicide mission!" Shepard said, shaking her head at the Captain.

"I won't lie to you, Commander. There is a chance none of us will survive this assault, even your team. But we do what is necessary."

"No." Shepard said, staring straight ahead. "We are picking you up before the bomb goes off. I am not leaving a whole team on this planet."

Kirrahe looked like he was going to protest, but Shepard held up her hand.

"I'm ready when you are, Captain."

"Excellent. Then if you'll excuse me, I need to prepare my men."

Kaidan, Shepard and Ashley walked over to the waters edge.

"Well, this is it." He punched Ashley lightly on the shoulder. "Don't do anything foolish while I'm gone, Ash. That goes for you too, Commander." Their eyes met and he felt like his chest was going to burst. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and let this whole mess pass them by. He reached out and put his hand on her face. Ashley had the decency to turn and look out at the ocean. Her face blazed with fierce determination, the hardness he had seen on Eden Prime creeping into her expression.

"Good luck, Kaidan… Be… careful."

He nodded, choking back words he knew he couldn't say. He pulled his hand back as Ashley turned around again.

"We'll be fine LT. Take care of yourself. We'll see you on the other side."

"Yeah, I just… good luck." He took one last look at Shepard's face before he turned and walked over to Captain Kirrahe. If something happened and he didn't make it off the planet, he wanted her to remember him as a brave soldier, not a terrified and lonely boy. And he wanted his last memory of her to be of a strong commander, and fearless woman. He took his place behind Captain Kirrahe, and breathed deeply as the Salarian addressed his men. The landscape here reminded him of his childhood in Singapore, and it was oddly comforting.

"You all know the mission, and what is at stake. I have come to trust each of you with my life." As Kirrahe spoke, Kaidan found himself looking for Shepard. He tried to catch her eye once more, but she seemed to be purposely avoiding his gaze. "But I have also heard murmurs of discontent. I share your concerns. We are trained for espionage, we would be legends, but the records are sealed. Glory in battle is not our way. Think of our heroes; the Silent Step, who defeated a nation with a single shot. Or the Ever Alert, who kept armies at bay with hidden facts. These giants do not seem to give us solace here, but they are not all that we are." He paced before his men, his arms waving wildly as he made his points. "Before the network, there was the fleet. Before diplomacy, there were soldiers! Our influence stopped the Rachni, but before that, we held the line! Our influence stopped the Krogan, but before that, we held the line! Our influence will stop Saren; in the battle today, we will HOLD THE LINE!" He roared out the last line, then saluted to Shepard. "Good luck, Commander. I hope we meet again."

Shepard saluted back, and set off down the beach with Ashley and Garrus, while Tali, Wrex and Liara headed back to the Normandy. Kirrahe turned towards him, adjusting his communicator.

"Let's get you set up on our comm frequency, Lieutenant." Kaidan turned in his own system, then waited for the Salarian group to test their communications. "Comm check. Do you read me, Commander?"

"Its fine. Lets go." She sounded out of breath and angry. _Please, don't let me be the catalyst to her temper. Shepard, don't do anything stupid on my behalf._

"Good. We'll start our push and try to make it to the AA guns, but it might be up to you to finish the job. And, Commander, if you see any way to undermine their defenses, we could definitely use the help."

Kirrahe started running towards a small canyon, calling out instructions as he ran.

"Shadow is on the ground. Repeat, Shadow is on the ground. Lieutenant Alenko, with Aegor team." He pointed to a small group of Salarian soldiers to his left, and Kaidan joined up with them, nodding a greeting. "Mannovan, Jaeto teams, move! Time to get some attention." Kaidan heard the sound of Geth approaching, breathed in deeply, and offered up a silent prayer to the universe. _If I die, just let her get off this planet and complete the mission. Don't let her dwell on what we might have been. Don't let me make her weak. _They burst through the canyon into the sunlight and gunfire.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Kaidan and his group took cover behind the first large rock they came across in their assigned direction, and as he hunkered down in the shallow water, he noticed the other two teams taking their positions. Most of the shelling seemed to come from stationary turrets, and any lone Geth trooper that wandered to close to the teams was summarily dispatched. Unfortunately, the position of the turrets pinned them done, and prevented any forward progress. As he waited for instructions from Kirrahe, Kaidan found his mind wandering back to the Geth sniper on Therum. Shepard had been more than capable of taking it down, she had just needed the extra protection his biotics provided. He remembered the way she felt pressed up against him, the way she shivered slightly as his biotics washed over her.

_I wish she was here. I'm going to die here on this beach surrounded by strangers. But if she was here she would have a plan. It might be messy, but everything would work out. She always manages to make things turn out alright. _

The shelling on his group eased up a big, and he peeked around the corner to see what was happening. One of the infiltration groups had made its way up the beach, but had attracted the Geth's attention. Rockets were still being launched at Kaidan's group, but most seemed to focus on the team behind a large boulder closest to them. Unfortunately, they had now draw all the fire to the one path the groups needed to get down.

"Fire is coordinated on Mannovai team!" Captain Kirrahe's voice barked over his earpiece. "We can't reach the Geth turrets, they're out of range!"

"I'm on it!" The reply was barely audible over the sound of rockets, but it was definitely Shepard's voice. Kaidan smiled to himself as his team left their rock for cover closer to Mannovai team. _She hasn't abandoned me quite yet. _His team had just reached an outcropping of boulders when the shelling became more erratic.

"Something scrambled their targeting! We've got a shot! Lieutenant Alenko, take the heat off Mannovai!" From his team's position, Kaidan was able to send a biotic pulse to the turrets. As they overloaded, Kaidan and the Salarians bolted for the path, and emerged from the cliffs to face the front of the complex.

The large structure rose out of the sand, a monstrosity of cold cement and metal that sharply contrasted with the soft sand and surf of Virmire. The Salarians stared at it with wide eyed determination and took their positions behind a natural crest of rocks.

"This is where we hold the line, men." Kirrahe said. "We wait here until we hear Shadow team has disabled the AA guns."

Kaidan watched anxiously as a door opened in the front of the building, and Geth troopers began forming lines. Once several squads had gotten into position, they began a slow march across the beach. The Salarians fired in concentrated groups, Kaidan was impressed with their efficiency, he had not expected the recon team to have such advanced combat skills. Firing with his team, they took down the first wave of Geth troopers with minimal casualties. A few of the Salarians had been hit, two were being bandaged by a comrade, one was lying still, the wound in his head untreatable. However, the second wave was not advancing, instead the Geth stood in precision lines and fired across the sand at them. _What are they waiting for? Why don't they attack?_ The whine of approaching engines answered his question. _Oh hell. _

"They're calling sat strikes! Jaeto, watch for comm stations! Alenko, do you see anything?"

Kaidan searched the sky, looking for the incoming drones. Finally he spotted them coming in from the east. He pointed frantically, and the teams rushed to huddle up against the rocks, trying to make themselves smaller targets for the inevitable rockets.

The drones made several passes, then peeled off to back to hit another group. Kaidan grimaced as he saw the ragged bodies of several Salarians strewn across the beach, apparently not everyone had made it to cover before the drones had hit.

"We're getting pounded!" Kirrahe's voice in his ear made his head ring. "Bunker up before the aircraft return!" _Where? _They were completely exposed out on the beach. When the drones returned, it was going to be a massacre. Anyone not hit by direct rocket fire was going to be disoriented and easy picking for the Geth troopers. _We might as well lessen the amount of Geth that Shepard will have to deal with if her squad makes it through. _The sudden thought of Shepard not surviving made his chest hurt, so he tried his best to push the thought from his mind and focused on taking out the troopers. After a few minutes, he found himself anticipating the sound of returning drones. The Salarians had noticed their absence as well, and were scanning the sky curiously.

"Air threat has not materialized. We may be getting some help from Shadow!" Kaidan held his breath, listening for Shepard to respond to Kirrahe, but there was only static, then silence over the radio. Grimacing, he continued to work at thinning the ranks of troopers. The Geth seemed to know something was wrong, they began reforming their ranks, as if they were preparing to march again.

"Shadow team must be getting close. Hold the line, men!" Kirrahe was yelling into the comms. "Hold the line!"

The Geth surged towards one of the other groups, but fell to the Salarian's fire and Kaidan's biotics hitting them from the side. Kaidan had found that overloading one unit caused it to explode, taking out several troopers at once. It was exhausting, but effective, and they quickly had the synthetic soldiers holding back close to their base.

"Give a little ground, Lieutenant!" Kirrahe ordered. "We don't want them to bunker up, draw them out!" Kaidan mentally kicked himself. He had forgotten that they were there to be a distraction. The last thing he wanted was for the Geth to go back into the bunker and get in Shepard's way. Besides, he did need to rest for a few minutes and recover his strength. The Geth were still concentrating their fire on the other groups, allowing his group to breath easy for a few minutes. He switched places with one of the Salarian officers and slide down into the sand. Rubbing his face with his hands, he wondered what Shepard, Ashley and Garrus were doing. There had been radio silence since the beginning of the mission, and he was starting to worry. Shepard and Ash together were rarely silent, unless the mission really called for it. _They are probably having to be stealthy, or there is a lot of interference. For fucks sake, they are in a giant cement bunker. They probably just can't get a signal out. Get a hold of yourself. Besides, if anyone is going to die, its going to be you._

He was so agitated with himself he was starting to get a headache. When he had joined the marines, he knew flat out there was a large chance we would never finish his service. So many things could go wrong in space, so he had made his peace the day he signed his life over to the Alliance. But part of him had always held out the dream of moving home, getting a job as an engineer, either for a firm or opening up a repair shop, and raising a family. In his fantasies, he had always imagined that family being with Rahna. But that daydream had slipped away, and Shepard had forced her way into his brain and settled nicely. It was almost frighting, he had only known her for a few months, but he felt like it had been forever. _It would have been nice to have had time to see where this was going. I was really looking forward to shore leave. _

He stood up slowly and peered over the top of the rock. No more Geth were coming out of the entrance, the entire force must have been on the beach, but they were quickly reforming their lines, and turning back towards the bunker.

"The Geth are turning from your position, Jaeto! Looks like shadow kicked a sensitive spot! Alenko, head them off! Hold them out here!" Kaidan grinned recklessly as he launched himself over the rocks. _That's my girl._ His team flanked the troopers, and opened fire on their unprotected backs. A few moments later, static crackled over his intercom.

"Captain, we've remotely disabled the AA guns, but we need you to get up there and blow them up before they can be reactivated!" There was a hint of worry in Shepard's voice, Kaidan wondered what the hell they had found in the bunker.

"Good work on the gun, shadow team! Now its our turn!" Kirrahe, on the other hand, was starting to sound optimistic, as if the mission might actually work. "We need to clear the Geth and set the charges!"

The three teams broke cover and rushed in, trapping the Geth between them in a well coordinated hail of bullets. Obviously this was a move the Salarians had practiced, everyone had a specific place to fire so not to hit their comrade on the other side. Unfamiliar with the tactic, Kaidan stuck to his biotics, frying any Geth that managed to get out of the firing solution. Once the Geth on the beach were taken out, the remaining Salarians rejoined into one group, and made their way through the facility up to the AA guns. Operatives placed small packs of explosives around the base of the guns, and ran wires back to where everyone else hide behind a large wall.

"Charges set!" Kirrahe yelled. "Everyone bunker down! Bunker down!"

The charges went off, sending the guns crashing to the beach. Kaidan sighed happily as the Normandy flew into view and circled around to the rear of the facility. _Maybe we'll get out of this after all. _He joined the Salarians heading through the door back into the facility, and almost ran into a stopped Kirrahe.

"Everyone get back onto the tower." The captain said quietly. They backtracked quickly, emerging back out onto the roof just as a concussion grenade landed where they had just been standing. It was followed by a burst of automatic gunfire that took out two Salarians not quick enough to get out of the doorway.

Over the sound of gunfire, he heard Ashley's voice come over the comms.

"Bomb is in position, Commander." He sighed. Time to let them know it was over. "We're all set he-"

"Commander, do you read me?" He interrupted, trying to fire and talk at the same time.

"The nuke is almost ready, Lieutenant. Get to the rendezvous point!" The worry in Shepard's voice was more obvious now. His chest tightened, she was worried for him.

"Negative, Commander." The words caught in his throat. "The Geth have us pinned down on the AA tower. We've taken heavy casualties. We'll never make the rendezvous point in time."

There was a short pause, then Shepard came back on the comms.

"Get them out of there, Joker! NOW." _Dammit, she can't send the Normandy in!_

"Negative! Its too hot! You can't risk it!" _Why am I talking her out of rescuing me? _He grimaced and shot a Geth that had made it onto the roof. _Because the mission is more important. _"We'll hold them off as long as we-" He stumbled backwards as he took a bullet to the chest. It didn't penetrate his armor, but the force was enough to knock him off his feet. _Dammit, that's going to hurt tomorrow. _He gave a short laugh. _No its not, because I'm going to be dead in fifteen minutes. _As he pulled himself to his feet, he noticed a Geth drop ship heading toward the back of the bunker. _I have to warn Ashley. She has to get the bomb ready!_

"Chief, we've just spotted a troop ship inbound to your location!"

"It's already here, and its bleeding Geth all over the bomb site!"

"Can you hold them off?" He hobbled over to the edge of the tower and peered over the side. If he could see where she was, maybe he could hit some of the Geth from there. He frantically scanned the scene below him. He couldn't see Ashley and the bomb, but he could see Shepard, Garrus and Wrex running towards the tower. _No,no, no, go back and get Ashley! _

"There's too many of them! I don't think I can hold them!" Ashley yelled into her comm. "I'm activating the nuke."

Kaidan watched Shepard skid to a halt and whip around.

"What are you doing, Chief?"

"Making sure this bomb goes off. No matter what." Ashley voice was hard, determined. "Its done, Commander. Go get the LT and get the hell out of here."

"Belay that!" He roared into his radio. "We can handle ourselves! Go back and get Williams!"

Shepard looked back and forth desperately between the tower and the bomb site. Kaidan felt another shot hit him in the side, then one in the shoulder but he was to distracted to care. He staggered against the wall, and waited for Shepard's response. She looked up at him, and even from a distance, he could see the pain on her face.

"Alenko. Radio Joker and tell him to meet us on the AA tower." _No. I don't want to die, but Ashley... we can't leave her..._

"Yes, Commander, I..."

"You know its the right choice, LT." Ashley sounded calm, ready to face her death like a true marine, not the hesitant coward he felt like.

"I understand, Commander. I don't regret a thing."

"Ash..." He tried to call out to her, but her comm must have gone off, there was no response. "Joker, Shepard says to come get us on the AA tower." He gasped as he inhaled, that first shot must have bruised a rib.

"On my way, Lieutenant." Joker's voice was unusually flat. He must have heard the whole thing, and knew they were leaving Ashley behind. _Joker, I swear I wish it was me. I know you were gunning for Ashley. _The pain of his injuries was finally catching up to him, and he slumped down against the wall. His breathing was ragged and harsh, he felt his ribs creak every time he inhaled.

"Commander, you need to move fast! We can't hold this thing off much longer!" He felt his vision slipping from the pain, and called out to the remaining Salarians. "Watch the corners! Suppressing fire!" A blurry form rounded the corner and moved towards him. He pulled out the pistol Shepard had given him, and stared at it for a moment before trying to aim, but the shot he had taken to the shoulder made it difficult to raise his arm. It was just as well, the figure came closer and turned into Garrus.

"Hey, we're going to get you out of here. The Normandy's on its way." The Turian knelt down next to him, and checked out his armor. "You've taken some bad hits, but nothing seems to have gone-"

"Shepard?" Kaidan looked around, trying to focus his eyes and find the Commander.

"She's on her way. Just hang on." Garrus injected him with a shot of MediGel, and turned around to stand guard while it took effect.

Shepard's voice from the far side of the tower made Kaidan jump to his feet. He took two steps and crumbled to his knees, but Garrus caught him under the arm, and they hurried towards the sound of her shouting. The closer they got to the wreckage of the guns, the louder the sounds of argument got. Kaidan couldn't make out any words, but he pushed himself further when the fighting was interrupted by a muffled scream. Wrex joined them as they came around a large pillar, just in time to see Saren holding Shepard over the edge of the tower by her neck. Kaidan cried out in anger, and let his biotic power surge, distracting Saren enough for Shepard to punch him in the face. Staggering backwards, the Turian dropped her over the edge of the tower. Kaidan lowered his head and started running towards Saren, ignoring the severe pain in his lungs. Saren must have decided he was in no place to deal with a battle-crazed biotic, a pissed off Turian, and a charging Krogan, because he jumped on a small hovering platform and retreated back to his ship. Kaidan slid across the ground to the tower's edge where Shepard had pulled herself up to her armpits. He grabbed her by the arm, and felt his shoulder protest the added weight. He felt useless, as all he could do was hold on to her until Wrex came up and hauled her back over the edge. They ran to the waiting Normandy, Garrus practically dragging Kaidan, and burst into the cockpit.

"Joker, get us out of here NOW." Shepard clung to the back of the pilot's chair, the rest of the crew grabbing on to whatever they could as they rocketed out of the atmosphere.

"You should sit down." Garrus told him, looking concerned. Kaidan shook his head slowly, and joined Shepard at the small window. It had just been a few weeks since they had stood there with Ashley, coming into the Citadel for the first time. Now they had left her behind, waiting to watch her evaporate in a blaze of light. Shepard rested her face against the glass, her eyes fixed on the planet. He placed his hand on her shoulder, and she leaned into it, but kept her gaze firmly on Virmire. Only when the the bright glow of the bomb had faded did she look up at him. Her eyes were bright, and she looked like she was trying hard to hold herself together. Yes, she was the commanding officer, but they had rescued Ashley, made her part of the crew, and then left her to die. Kaidan felt the tightness in his chest again. What had just happened? They had gone from casual flirting to serious conversation to life or death situations in such a short time. Maybe this was why there were policies against fraternization. He was the senior officer, he should have been the one to die.

He felt the world spin, and he turned from Shepard's now confused look to grab Garrus.

"I have to get out of here. I need to get to Chakwas." He let his friend lead him through the ship into the med bay, where he sat down on the edge of a cot, dangling his legs off the side. The doctor took one look at him, shook her head, and jabbed him with a MediGel injector. He relaxed as the painkillers flowed through him, and let her slowly remove his armor. His shirt underneath was drenched in sweat, but Chakwas pulled that off as well, and made soft tutting noises as she examined his spreading bruises.

"You took quite a beating down there, Lieutenant." She muttered, waving a small sensor over him. "Just as I suspected, you've bruised a few ribs. I've got an injection that will loosen the muscles, then you should be right as rain after a some sleep. You're lucky you didn't break anything." As she turned to find the medication, the doors hissed open, and Shepard tentatively stuck her head in. She had also changed out of her armor, and into a clean uniform.

"Can I come in?"

"It's your ship, Commander. You don't have to ask me for permission." The doctor stabbed Kaidan with her needle, and he felt his ribs practically pop into place. It was suddenly physically easier for him to breath, but the expression on Shepard's face brought the tightness right back.

"I'll go gather the team for the debriefing." Garrus said, making his way out of the room. The doctor made her excuses as well, and headed to the back office.

"I can't believe Ash didn't make it." He hung his head as she walked over to him. "How could we just leave her down there?"

"Williams knew the risks going in. She gave her life to save the rest of us." Shepard sounded as if she was still trying to convince herself. When she stopped coming towards him, she was practically standing between his legs. If he didn't hurt so badly, he could have reached out with one arm and easily pulled her in.

"But why me? Why not her?" He looked up and met her gaze; her eyes were sorrowful, but her face unapologetic.

"I'm sorry, Kaidan. I'd never leave you behind." She took a small step forward, her hips even with his knees, and he could feel the warmth radiating off her body. The urge to take her in his arms was practically overwhelming. "I couldn't. You know that."

"I know, and I am grateful. But Ash died because of me. Because of us."

"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't my fault. The only one to blame is Saren."

"Yes, Ma'am. We'll get it done."

They looked at each other for a long moment, then Shepard stood back and coughed awkwardly.

"Let's get a shirt on you and get up to the debriefing. I want to get this over with quickly." She grabbed a fresh uniform off a pile and tossed it to him. "I need some time to myself to mourn Williams properly."

"I thought you said it wasn't our fault." As he pulled the shirt on over his head, he noticed Shepard watching him out of the corner of her eye. He let himself smile a little, life always went on in the marines.

"It isn't. But she was still under my command, and a good friend. What kind of person would I be if I didn't mourn a friend?"

He nodded, and pushed himself off the table. He felt the muscles in his chest stretch unpleasantly, and winced. Shepard turned back to him with a worried expression.

"You going to make it upstairs okay?"

"I'm fine, Shepard. It's just going to be sore for a few more hours."

They headed up the stairs, and into the debriefing room.

Kaidan sat in a daze, staring at Ashley's empty seat as Shepard described what they had found in Saren's bunker, and the things he had said as they fought on the tower.

"His ship is a Reaper?" Tali sounded astonished. "An actual living Reaper?"

"An actual living Reaper that plans on harvesting all life in the galaxy." She shuddered. "Believe me, listening to that... thing... talk shook me to the bones."

"Commander?" Liara was looking thoughtful. "Excuse me for interrupting, but I have an idea. I think the beacon you mentioned finding in Saren's base was similar to the one you found on Eden Prime. It may have filled in the missing pieces of your vision. I might be able to help you put all those pieces together."

Shepard stood up wearily.

"You want to join our minds again, don't you? Okay, go ahead."

Liara joined Shepard in the center of the room and again placed her hands on the Commander's face.

"Relax, Shepard. Embrace eternity!"

Looking away as the Asari communed with the Commander, Kaidan found himself still staring at Ashley's chair, like she would come back if he looked hard enough. _I wish she was here to punch me in the arm and say something inappropriate. _

"Incredible. I... I never thought the images would be so... intense. I need a moment to collect myself."

"Did the vision make any sense to you?" Shepard sat back down in her chair, obviously worn out from the mission and the mind joining.

"Its a distress call. A message sent out across the Prothean Empire. A warning against the Reapers, but the warning came too late."

"What about the Conduit?"

"There were other images. Locations. Places I recognize from my research..." Her eyes opened wide with surprise. "Ilos! The Conduit is on Ilos! That is why Saren needed to find the Mu Relay! It is the only way to get to Ilos!"

Shepard rubbed her forehead.

"Liara, How come you never told us about Ilos before?"

"The Mu Relay links to dozens of systems and hundreds of worlds. How was I to know Ilos was the one we wanted? Without the Cipher, the images in your visions were never clear. Only now do I recognize them as landmarks from Ilos."

"We need to get to Ilos!" Shepard stood back up, as if she was going to run there.

"Forget it.' Tali said. "The Mu Relay's inside the Terminus Systems. Alliance ships are not welcome there. Neither are Spectres."

"The Conduit's on Ilos. That's where Saren is heading. I'll be waiting for him when he gets there." A fierce determination was creeping into Shepard's voice. _I hope she isn't rushing into this as revenge for Ashley. _

"Saren will have his entire fleet orbiting Ilos." Liara pointed out. "You will never make it down to the surface without reinforcements. You must alert the Council. We need a fleet to... oh..." She stumbled, and caught herself. "I'm sorry. The joining is still exhausting for me. I should go to the medical bay and lie down for a moment."

"We're done here. Everyone go get some rack time. Dismissed."

"Commander, there's a Comm buoy nearby." Joker's voice sounded flat and weary as it came over the intercom. "I can link us in if you want to report back to the Citadel Council. You know, to warn them about Sovereign."

"Set the link up, Joker. They need to know."

As he left the room, Kaidan thought it would be best to see Joker sooner rather than later. He headed back through the CIC and came up next to the pilot who was finishing sending off Shepard's mission reports to Alliance Command.

"Hey, Joker..."

His friend look up at him with cold eyes.

"When you find Saren, you kill that bastard dead."

"We will. I just don't want you to think that I..." his voice trailed off as Joker sighed.

"I don't blame you. Or Shepard. She had to make the call. You were with Kirrahe and the Salarians. Williams... Ashley knew getting them out was a priority to Shepard. She mentioned it when they were taking the nuke off the ship."

"She did?"

Joker nodded.

"I think a small part of her knew she wasn't leaving." Their conversation was interrupted by a quiet whistle from Joker's console. "Dammit, that's the official channel." He cleared his throat. "Alliance Control, this is SSV Normandy. Over."

"This is Ambassador Udina. I want Commander Shepard to report back to the Citadel. The Council is massing a joint-species fleet to deal with Saren and his Geth."

"I will pass along the message, Ambassador."

"Good."

The transmission ended with an abrupt beep.

Kaidan sighed, and turned to leave.

"I need to get some rack time before we get to the Citadel. All the shots Chakwas gave me are making me dizzy."

Joker nodded, and went back to setting his course. It was good to know his friend didn't harbor any resentment towards him.

He crawled gingerly into a sleep pod, and drifted into a restless sleep. He dreamed of pristine white sand beaches, pounding surf, Shepard hanging off the edge of a cliff, and Ashley just standing on the beach, reaching out to him. He ran towards her, but just as their fingers were about to touch, she exploded into millions of tiny crystals.

He awoke with a start, slamming his head on the inside of the pod as he jerked upright. He cursed as he opened the door, but stopped as he heard a familiar chuckle. Shepard was sitting on his bench, a smile on her face that had been too long gone.

"Where is everyone?"

"Getting some rack time."

"None for you?"

She shook her head.

"How's your head?" She said, as he sat down next to her.

"Better than my ribs. But the bruising has gone way down, and I can breathe now." He took a deep breath as if to prove it, and gave her a small smile. "Guess we are heading back to the Citadel."

"We are. I'll be glad when this mission is over."

"We're so close now."

"It's been a struggle." She sighed and stretched her arms out. "But I think we've finally earned the Council's respect."

"And you've been at the forefront, even back in the Blitz. You'll probably get another Star of Terra out of this." He turned his head to look into her eyes. "I don't think I've ever met a woman like you." _He hadn't ever let himself met anyone, but Shepard had barreled her way into his life, and he had never looked back._

"You haven't had the easiest life. But I like the man its made of you."

It felt like something inside his brain had snapped. For years, all he had wanted was to find Rahna and prove to her that he had become a better man. And here was this amazing woman, all fire and humor who saw that in him without him even trying. He felt as if everything was lifted off of him for good. He could finally stop trying to prove himself to a ghost.

"Please, Commander, you'll make me blush." She raised her eyebrows at him, and he grabbed her hand. He hadn't realized when he had first shaken her hands how small they were, and how well they fit into his. "No bull, Shepard. I wanna follow through with this. It's hard keeping it separated from duty, but when the mission's complete, it'll be different. At least, I hope so, Ma'am."

Her face broke out into the broad grin he loved.

"That sounds wonderful, Lieutenant. In the meantime, we save the galaxy." She leaned back and lightly rested her head on his shoulder. He tipped his head, and set it against hers.

"Yes, Ma'am."

They sat in content silence for a few minutes, then Shepard spoke up again.

"I want to know how you are dealing with Ash's death."

"Dealing. Sorry for anything I said back there. Adrenaline." He ran his hand across his chest where he had taken the first hit.

"I understand. I don't like losing people either."

"I've served for years. But never lost a soldier under my command. Not to hostile action, anyway." He softly rubbed her head with his. "How did you deal with the losses on Elysium?"

"It was my job to get everyone out safe. I failed." She sighed, and laced her fingers through his. "I vowed not to let that happen again. Same here. I'll remember her, and I'll do better for her."

"Yeah, I guess that is all we can do. Hell, I don't know. We're fighting giant machines from outside the galaxy. Should I be afraid of them? Or in awe of them? Anything so old, so intelligent..."

"Yeah, they've been around a while. So were the Turians." She laughed. "We gave them a boot in the ass."

"I think we're going to need a bigger boot." They both laughed at that, and then enjoyed another few minutes of silence and contemplation before the rest of the crew started waking up and they had to part.

Kaidan walked back to the med bay, he wanted to get another shot from the doctor before they landed at the Citadel. Something in the back of his brain told him the mission was about to get crazy again.

(A/N Geez that was a lot of action. Goodbye, Ashley. Damn. So next up is the chapter I am most nervous about writing. I want to make sure I get enough romance in without getting too pornish. And that's for 2 reasons.. 1, I have no idea how far you are allowed to go on this website. And 2, I don't want to sound stupid. I have read enough bad sex in both regular and fan fiction. I do not want to be that author. Anyway. I promise not to completely do a "fade to black" kinda thing, but we will just have to see how it goes. Thanks for sticking around, everyone!)


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

Kaidan spent the remainder of the trip back to the Citadel with Garrus. They sat near the Mako on the loading dock, talking to Kirrahe and his remaining men, trying hard not to look at Ashley's empty station. Finally, Garrus gave up on avoiding the subject.

"She was finally starting to come around, you know." He sighed. "She had actually started calling me Garrus, instead of just referring to me as 'the Turian.' She was even starting to talk about her life, and her beliefs."

"Beliefs?" Kaidan asked.

"Apparently her family is very religious. Its funny, most of the Humans I've met on the Citadel haven't really expressed any interest in religion. The Hanar are usually the preachy ones."

"I never knew that about her." He felt bad. He had started thinking of Ashley like a little sister, yet he didn't really know anything about her. "Hopefully her family will get to have a service after this is all over."

"I don't think they'd like me there. If you get to go, give her family my regards." Garrus looked thoughtful. "Just don't mention I'm a Turian."

Kaidan nodded, and felt the Normandy shake as it made port.

"Garrus, Alenko, Shepard wants you two to go with her to see the Council." Joker called to them over the intercom. "Better get up to the airlock on the double."

They left the ship in a hurry and boarded a rapid transit car. Cramped back in like they had on their first trip, Shepard flashed Kaidan a sly smile, and leaned against him gently. He very carefully placed his hand so that it rested against hers, their fingers barely touching. It was the closest they could get to clasping hands in a place crawling with Alliance brass.

Ambassador Udina and Captain Anderson met them at the Council chamber.

"Good job, Shepard. Thanks to you, the Council's finally taking real action against Saren!" Udina looked smug.

"The Ambassador is correct." Said the Asari Councilor. "If Saren is foolish enough to attack the Citadel- as you believe- we will be ready for him."

"Patrols are stationed at every mass relay linking Citadel space to the Terminus Systems." The Turian Councilor added. Shepard frowned.

"How many ships are you sending to attack Ilos?"

"Ilos is only accessible through the Mu Relay, deep inside the Terminus Systems, Commander." The Salarian Councilor looked at them harshly. "If we send a fleet in there, the only possible outcome is full-scale war."

Udina turned to Shepard and leaned close to her. Kaidan tried to tilt his forward to hear what was being said.

"Now is the time for discretion, Commander. Saren's greatest weapon was secrecy. Exposed, he is no longer a threat. This is over."

Shepard's jaw dropped.

"Sovereign is the real threat! Saren's just a servant of the Reapers!"

"Only you have seen the Reapers." The Asari Councilor sounded skeptical. "And then only in visions. We won't invade the Terminus Systems because of a dream."

"Secrecy isn't his greatest weapon, the Conduit is!" Shepard was getting agitated. _Bad things happen when she gets agitated..._

"Saren is a master manipulator. The Conduit is just a distraction from his real plans to attack the Citadel."

"One ship going into the Terminus Systems won't start a war. I can be discreet!"

"You detonated a nuclear device on Virmire! I wouldn't call that discreet!" _The Turian Councilor does have a point. We do blow up a lot of things. _The Asari Councilor shook her head as well.

"Your style served you well in the Traverse, Commander. We recognize that. But Ilos requires a deft touch. We have the situation under control."

"If Saren finds the Conduit, we're all screwed!" Shepard was practically yelling. "We have to go to Ilos!"

"Ambassador Udina, I get the sense Commander Shepard isn't willing to let this go." Snarled the Turian Councilor. Udina grabbed Shepard's arm.

"There are serious political implications here, Shepard. Humanity's made great gains thanks to you. But now you've become more trouble than you're worth."

Shepard stared coldly at his hand, and he removed it hurriedly. Kaidan stepped up in between them and gave Udina a death stare.

"You bastard." He said under his breath. "You're selling us out!"

Udina looked at them like they were something disgusting on the bottom of his shoe.

"It's just politics, Commander. You've done your job, now let me do mine. We've locked in the Normandy's primary systems. Until further notice, you're grounded."

"Are you insane?" Shepard's face was bright red. "After everything I've done, you still don't believe me?"

"I think it's time for you and your team to leave, Commander. This no longer concerns you. The Council can handle this." He turned his back on them. "With my help, of course."

Shepard spun on her heel and stormed out of the Council Chambers. She was so agitated her whole body was shaking. They climbed into a Rapid Transit Car and she sat silently, breathing heavily through clenched teeth.

"When we get back to the Normandy, I'll explain to Joker what's going on." Kaidan said, looking at Garrus over Shepard's head, then quickly looked down at the furious Commander. "Then I'll calm her down." He mouthed silently over Shepard's head.

When they entered the Normandy, Shepard stomped down to the lower levels without a word. Kaidan sighed and walked over to Joker.

"Why are all my controls locked?" The pilot asked suspiciously.

"Udina fucked us over." Kaidan leaned against Joker's chair. "The Council doesn't believe Shepard about the Reapers, and they've grounded us to keep us from taking off to Ilos on our own."

"You know that's exactly what we'd be doing if they hadn't grounded us." Joker pointed out.

"I know. But its what we should be doing. Anyway, thought you should know what's going on. I'm going to go make sure Shepard doesn't kill anyone in the mess hall."

"Good plan."

When he got down to the lower level, Shepard was crouched near the wall, frantically trying to open a small locker. She looked up at him, frustration clear on her face.

"I need... stuff.. out of this... stupid... locker!" She punched it, and sank down to sit on the floor, her back against the still unopened locker.

"Commander are you okay? There has to be a way to appeal. We are still under Alliance Authority, not the Council, after all!"

"Official channels are closed. They were quite clear about that." She looked so upset that Kaidan found himself getting angry for her.

"Closed? And we're supposed to accept that? So where do you think the best seat will be when the Reapers come through? If we have to sit it out, may as well grab a good seat."

She looked surprised at his outburst, and seemed to calm herself down a few notches.

"We're out of the game for now. I need you to be there while I figure things out." Her eyes were pleading.

"You know you can count on me." He looked around to make sure the room was empty. "Or any of the crew, Commander. If I can be any of any help to you... I hope I'm not out of line say that."

"Come on, Kaidan. I can get a salute from anyone on this ship. Sometimes I need a shoulder." The expression on her face changed from frustration to curiosity. "Are you always this cautious with a sure thing?"

He swallowed hard, then laughed nervously.

"Yeah, I always leave a way out. You know that. I'm here for you." He frowned, trying to think through their situation. "But we're in a rough spot, and the last thing I want to do is muddy the waters. Like its all that clear to start with. Are we the pride of the fleet or not? Are we valued agents or just peons?"

"You just can't pull out a good old fashioned 'it'll be alright', can you?" She scrunched up her nose at him.

"It's that easy, huh? Okay then." He put on his best therapist voice. "Everything will be fine, Shepard. You'll figure it out."

"That wasn't so hard, now was it?" She gave him a halfhearted smile.

"I could get used to it." He scratched the back of his neck. "I guess we have some downtime to figure out what we are, huh?"

Her half smile turned into a full grin, and he held his hand out to her. She took it and he pulled her up to her feet, but she stumbled as she rose, and fell forward. He threw his other arm around her waist to steady her, pulling her in against his chest. She stayed nestled against his collarbone for for a moment, then tipped her head back to look at him. Her cheeks were red, and her eyes were wide with nervousness, but she didn't pull away. Slowly, he leaned his head down so his forehead rested gently against hers.

"Hi." He said gently. His brain seemed to stop, he was unable to form any other words.

"Hi." Every time she blinked he felt the brush of her eyelashes. _There is never going to be a better moment then right now._ As he slowly leaned forward, he felt her press against him, raising her face to meet his.

"Sorry to interrupt, Commander, But I've got a message from Captain Anderson." Joker's voice echoed through the mess area. Shepard pulled away hurriedly, backing up against the lockers.

"Are you spying on us, Joker?"

"No, Ma'am." Joker was a horrible liar. "Just knew you were on the ship and thought I'd pass the message along. The Captain said to meet him at Flux, that club down in the wards."

"Well, I guess you'd better go then." Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I'll just stay here and come up with a list of ways to kill Joker."

Shepard grinned at him.

"No, you're coming along. We can cover all of the options if we work together."

As they headed up through the CIC, Shepard signaled Garrus to fall in, and as they reached the airlock, Kaidan quickly stepped over to stand behind Joker.

"You are going to pay for that." He hissed in the pilot's ear, then turned to rejoin the group. Garrus pretended not to notice, instead commenting on the effectiveness of the Citadel's docking clamps. The trip to Flux was spent in silence, Shepard's foul mood seemed to be returning; and when they arrived at the club, they found Captain Anderson sitting at a small table in the back. Shepard sat down across from him, Kaidan and Garrus standing behind her.

"I'm glad you came, Shepard. I heard what happened."

"They pulled me off the mission." She spat out. "Just like when they forced you to give up the Normandy."

"I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to warn you, but there was no way to get a message to you before you docked." He leaned across the table and lowered his voice. "I know you're pissed off right now. But you can't give up. They all think this is over, but we both know its not. You have to go to Ilos. You have to stop Saren from using the conduit!" He sat back in his chair, looking around the bar suspiciously.

"There's only one ship that can get me into the Terminus System undetected and she's grounded."

"Citadel Control's locked out all of the Normandy's systems. But if we override the Ambassador's orders, we can get them to bring the Normandy back online. You can be in the Terminus System before anyone knows you're gone."

Shepard stared at him incredulously, and Kaidan felt his own jaw drop. _Did he really just suggest that?_

"If we steal the Normandy, you'll be the one left holding the bag." Shepard said cautiously.

"And If Saren find the Conduit life as we know it is over. The Reapers will destroy us. Humans, Asari, Everybody. You're the only one who can stop them, Shepard. So I'll do whatever it takes to get you on the Normandy and off this station!"

Shepard looked at Garrus, then up at Kaidan. Her expression was serious, as if she was studying his face while she turned the situation over in her mind. She turned back to Anderson.

"Stealing the Normandy is mutiny." She said quietly. "What if the crew won't help me?"

"The Normandy is your ship now, Commander. Her crew will follow you to the ends of the galaxy." He glanced up at Kaidan. "We both know that." _Okay, does everyone know about us, or was that just a lucky guess?_ He did his best to keep his expression neutral.

"I won't forget this, Captain. I promise."

"I can unlock the Normandy from one of the consoles in the Citadel Control Center. You'll have a few minutes before anyone realizes what's happened."

"That's a restricted area patrolled by armed guards." Garrus interrupted. "How are you going to get in?"

"Leave that to me." Anderson responded. "Just make sure you are in the Normandy when the system comes back online." Shepard shook her head.

"There's got to be a better way."

"Ambassador Udina issued the lockdown order. If I can hack into the computer in his office, maybe I can override it."

"He's not going to let you waltz into his office and use his computer." Kaidan had to get his opinion in. This was turning into a completely insane situation.

"Hopefully he won't be there. If he is... I'll just have to think of something."

"Udina won't let this slide, Captain." Kaidan persisted. He couldn't let Anderson do something to destroy his career. "You'll be charged with treason, a capitol offense."

"We don't have a lot of options. I break into the Ambassador's computer, or I take my chances with the patrols at Citadel Control."

Shepard stood up and walked up next to Anderson.

"You'll have a better chance if you go after the Ambassador's computer."

"I was hoping you'd say that." He grinned, and cracked his knuckles. "The Ambassador has made this personal. Are you ready to get the hell off this station, Commander?"

"Let's do it."

"I'll take care of the lockdown. You get back to the Normandy and tell Joker to stand by." He stood up and strode out of the bar.

Shepard turned to Kaidan and Garrus.

"Okay, we are going to walk briskly back to the Normandy like there is absolutely nothing going on. If anyone suspects anything is going on, we are completely fucked."

They made their way back to the rapid transit, and as they boarded the car, Shepard was twitching again.

"How did you ever get to be a marine if you shake so much when you get angry and nervous?" Kaidan asked as tram hurtled them across the Citadel.

"It's different when I'm in combat. If I don't keep it together on the battlefield, I'm dead. But I'm not that good at keeping my cool in social situations."

"We've noticed." Garrus said dryly.

They departed the tram at the hanger, and rushed onboard the Normandy.

"Joker, get the engine running!" Shepard called to the pilot as she ran up to the cockpit, Kaidan and Garrus not far behind.

"Wha-"

"Start the engine!" Joker jumped in his seat, and began his pre-flight sequences. "Captain Anderson is going to override the lockdown, but when he does, we are only going to have a few minutes to clear the station."

"Shit." Joker sped up, completing his task in a matter of seconds. They all stood nervously, watching the sensor that indicated the clamp status. After a long minute that felt like an eternity, the light turned green.

"Get us out of here, Joker! NOW!" Shepard yelled clinging to the back of Joker's chair as the pilot swung the ship out of its dock. They bolted out of the Citadel, nearly clipping a few ships, and were soon headed towards the nearest relay.

"Mu relay, Commander? We're headed to Ilos?"

"We are. Let's finish this." She put her hand softly on Joker's shoulder. "For Ashley."

"For all of us." He responded with a nod.

Shepard took a few steps away and leaned against a nearby wall. She looked briefly at Garrus, then over at Kaidan. She held his gaze for a few seconds before clearing her throat.

"I'm going to my quarters. You all should try and get some rack time." Looking down at her feet, she left the cockpit and hurried out of sight.

Garrus took one look at Kaidan and shook his head.

"You look like you need some serious coffee. Lets get down to the mess."

They reached the bottom of the stairs just in time to see Shepard's door close. Kaidan stared at it longingly. _What would have happened if Joker's hadn't interrupted us earlier? Damn him. _

"Are you going to go in there?" Garrus asked pointedly.

"What? No! I can't go in there!"

Why not?" He shrugged. "Do you think she doesn't want you to follow her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Alenko, you are thick." Garrus sat down with a sigh. "Get in there and say what needs to be said. You are never going to get another chance."

"Are you some kind of military relationship specialist? Is that why we brought you on board?"

"Ha." Garrus leaned back in his chair. "Like I said before, in the Turian military, relationships aren't exactly frowned upon. You learn to read the signs where there is interest. And that, my friend was a sign. Go and talk to her." He pointed at the door.

"But..."

"Go. What's the worst that could happen? She tells you to leave? You leave, have coffee with me, and avoid making eye contact with her while we save the galaxy. Get in there."

Kaidan nodded and took a deep breath. He walked up to the door, pressed the small button, and walked into the Commander's quarters.

Shepard was sitting at a small desk, staring at the wall. She jumped as the door opened, and stood quickly.

"Commander?" He hesitated by the door, in case she asked him to leave, but she just leaned back against her chair.

"You probably shouldn't call me that." She shrugged. "I probably shouldn't even be wearing this uniform."

"Yeah. Hell of a thing."A vision of her without the uniform started creeping into his brain, he put his hand on his chin as he tried to banish the distracting mental image. "We broke our oath to defend the Alliance so we can keep it. What happens if this doesn't work out, Shepard? We mutinied, stole a prototype warship and if they wanted to get technical, they could throw in kidnapping." He laughed, despite the situation. "We're a hell of an example of humanities best and brightest, huh?"

"I keep reminding myself we're doing the right thing. I don't believe me yet."

"Well if I didn't think you were doing the right thing, then I wouldn't be here. It'll really hit the fan when we get to Ilos. If things go well..." He swallowed, and stepped forward, almost as close as they had been earlier by the lockers. "I want you to know... I've enjoyed serving under you."

"Kaidan." She looked up at him, the nervousness back in her eyes. "You stopped being a subordinate a long time ago. Don't you think its time to act like it?"

"Battlefield flirting is one thing, Shepard. There are regs against fraternization." He stopped for a moment, and let out a small laugh. "Well, I suppose a breach of protocol will be pretty far down the list of charges at our court martial." _Dammit, why am I hesitating? This is the one place on the ship we can truly be alone. Why am I holding back?_ "You know what? You're right. About everything." He reached around her waist and pulled her in close. She let her arms relax and press up against his chest. "I think about losing you and I can't stand it. The galaxy will keep going. Everything, even the Reapers will come around again. But you and I, we... are important right now. This is what will never happen again. Us. Shepard, you make me feel... human."

She ducked her head down, not letting her eyes meet his.

"Bunk here tonight, Kaidan. With me." Her voice was soft, almost pleading. He had to laugh. He had found the one thing in the galaxy Shepard was genuinely nervous about.

"Is that an order, Commander?" He teased gently.

"Kaidan, you make me feel like I could take on the universe." She finally met his gaze. "And right now? I kind of have to."

"This can't change anything, Shepard. This is a good crew. The finest I've served with. I don't want to mess it up."

She shook her head slowly, and he reached up, carefully catching her face in the palm of his hand. He let his fingers finally run through her hair, brushing it back out of her face like he had wanted to do so many times before. She inhaled sharply, and he was gone. He pulled her in tight and kissed her so fiercely he lifted her off the floor. Throwing her arms around his neck, she let him spin her around and press her up against the wall. Everything about the way she kissed back told him she had been waiting for this as long as he had. Holding her against the wall with his weight, he let his hands wander. They ran down her sides, feeling the curves her armor had tried to cover, and across her back. His fingers untucked the back of her shirt, and he leaned back slightly, allowing enough room for him to pull if off her and fling it aside. She responded by grabbing his shirt, and giving it a tug. He laughed, she was having a difficult time with it, so he stepped back, pulled it off himself, then went right back to her.

It was different, now that he could feel her skin against his. He lifted her up again, letting her wrap her legs around his waist before he pressed her back up against the wall. He ran her fingers through her hair again as she abruptly broke off the kiss.

"Hi." She said, grinning stupidly at him.

"Hi." He let her slide back down the wall. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's wonderful." She was still smiling, but it wavered a tiny bit. "Kaidan... I... I've..." _Somethings wrong. She's holding something back from me._

"Shepard, do you want me to leave?" _Say no. Say no. Say no._

"No!" She slipped out of his grip and sat down on the edge of her bed. "I meant what I said about you staying."

"What's the matter than? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?"

"No! Nothing like that. I've just... only... done this once. Back during basic."

Kaidan laughed, and pushed her backwards onto the bed.

"I take it the experience wasn't fulfilling?"

She made a face at him.

"It didn't exactly live up to the hype, no."

He kicked his boots off, pulled off his socks, and lifted her feet onto his lap.

"Well, my girl, you are in luck." He carefully untied her boots and set them at the end of the bed. "You are in my capable hands this evening." He pulled her socks off, laughing again. Shepard had managed to smuggle onboard a small bottle of nail polish, her toenails were bright red. He pointed at them, his eyebrows raised, and she shrugged, raising her own brows back as her answer.

"Are you overly experienced then? Is there a string of broken hearts following your military career, Lieutenant?"

"Not exactly. I'm not that guy. But I am a guy. Things happen from time to time." His memory quickly flashed back to the few girls he had been with during his life. Most of them had been the runners-up in the conquests of his friends. All of them had been tall, blonde, Rahna surrogates. Nothing like this short, muscular brunette he found himself so captivated by. He quickly pushed them out of his mind, and refocused his attention on Shepard.

He lay down on his stomach next to her, bracing himself on his elbows. He slowly traced the line of her collarbone with his fingertips. "Is this why you go so red every time we've gotten close before?" She nodded again, and the blush returned.

"Don't worry." He leaned down and kissed her softly. "I'll be gentle." He kissed her again, with a bit more force than before. "And fulfilling." She grabbed him by the hair and pulled him down towards her, grinning wickedly at him.

"I certainly hope so."

As they kissed again, he let his biotics flare around his hand. Walking his fingers down from her neck down to her stomach, he felt her tremble as the electricity danced across her bare skin. He was definitely going to enjoy this.

For the rest of his life, however long it was, he would never forget that night. The smell of her hair, the soft noises she made, the feeling of her fingers digging into his back, the way she arched against him and shuddered ... They would stay with him forever. He rolled onto his side and brushed her hair away from her face. She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling with a dazed expression.

"Did that live up to the hype?"

She laughed, a hysterical giggle that she seemed unable to stop. She nodded, covering her face with her hands. He reached over and pulled them away.

"I'm glad I could be of service, Commander." He put his arm around her waist and pulled her over so she nestled against him. "Can I ask you something personal?"

She looked up at him. From this angle, her eyes looked giant, and she smiled expectantly.

"Why only the once?"

She sighed and stared up at the ceiling.

"Private Lacroix. Henri. He was from Paris." She bit her lip and laughed quietly. "I was 18, and had never really met anyone from that far away. I suppose it was the accent's fault. We snuck into a bar on shore leave... and well... one thing led to another."

Kaidan nodded, he knew that all to well.

"Anyway." She continued. "We never go a chance to try again, and when basic was over, we were assigned to different squads. The next time I saw him was on Elysium, during the Blitz. He was already dead. After the Blitz, I was recruited for N7 training, and making personal attachments is severely frowned upon when you're doing top secret things all the time. Once I got to a point where I was able to talk to people normally again, I had already built my reputation as the 'mysterious' Commander Shepard. Any man I met seemed to be more interested in that then in me." She butted her head gently against his chin. "Until you, obviously."

"Obviously." He yawned, and stretched his free arm out over his head. It was nice to have room to move around. "And I'm just using you for the opportunity to sleep in an actual bed."

"Its nice, isn't it?" She said, sleepily. She took his hand and laced their fingers together. "Its going to be hard to do this again, you know. There's a very real chance tomorrow we are either going to die or go to prison."

"They'll have to catch us first." He kissed the top of her head. "How about this. We save the Citadel, drop off any unwilling crew, and take off before the Council knows what happens. We can spend the rest of our lives roaming the Traverse, hiding from the Alliance, fighting mercs, and picking up women and sandwiches for Joker."

He waited for her response, but she had nodded off, her hand untangled from his and wrapped around his chest. _Sleep peacefully, Love. You have to save the galaxy tomorrow._ He kissed her head again, and let himself drift off into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

He awoke several hours later, feeling an empty space in the bed where Shepard had been. He pulled himself up into a sitting position and looked around for her. She was back in her uniform, leaning against a chair on the far side of the room. It was time for her to become Commander Shepard again. But before she left, he had to tell her about the feeling growing in the back of his mind.

"Its been a long time since I met a woman who... um..."

"Bridge to Shepard." Joker's voice came over a small speaker. "We are five minutes out from the Mu Relay."

"Can he hear us?" Kaidan asked, worriedly. Shepard shook her head.

"It's a one way speaker." She walked over to him, and leaned forward, kissing him deeply. "You're a sweetheart, Kaidan."

"Joker's waiting for you on the bridge." He sighed, and pulled her in close. "I swear, if anything happens to you..." He let himself trail off. There weren't any words to express the way he'd crumble if he lost her now. She nodded, and they embraced a final time. She placed her forehead against his, then left the room. Kaidan slowly gathered up his clothes, minus one of his socks that seemed to have disappeared, and put them on before sneaking out of her quarters and heading to the shower area to grab a fresh uniform. He wanted to be up with her when they hit the relay, because she was his brave Commander and his love, and he was her loyal Lieutenant, and they were going to take on the galaxy together.


	19. Chapter 19

(A/N again, skipping through a lot of the mindless combat. And Vigil is really Mr. Exposition Dialog. I'm assuming if you've read this far, you've played the game, and don't really need to hear ALL the dialog again.)

CHAPTER 19

They hit the relay as Kaidan reached the bottom of the stairs. He gripped the railing tighter, and continued up to the CIC. The first time he had been on a ship making the jump, he had felt like his whole world was stretching in horrible ways. Now that he had spent ten years in the Alliance, the only reason he knew they were going through a relay was a slight feeling of raised gravity.

He reached the cockpit to find Liara, Tali and Navigator Pressly huddled over a glowing console. Shepard was in her usual place behind Joker, her hands still on the back of his chair. She looked up as he entered, and he let himself grin stupidly at her for a few moments.

"Um, Commander?" Joker glanced up at her. "We've got company."

"Have their sensors picked us up yet?" Liara quickly came up beside the pilot.

"Stealth systems are engaged. Unless we get close enough for a visual, they won't have any idea we're here."

"Picking up some strange readings from the planet's surface." said Pressly, looking up from his console.

"Take us down, Joker. Lock in on the coordinates." Shepard nodding at Pressly, who shook his head back.

"Negative on that, Commander. The nearest landing zone's two klicks away."

"We'll never make it in time on foot." Kaidan glared at the Navigator. "Get us something closer!"

"There is nowhere closer! I've looked!" Pressly's face was red, veins popping out at his temples.

Shepard sighed.

"Drop us in the Mako."

Kaidan closed his eyes. _Oh hell._

"You need at least a hundred meters of open terrain to pull off a drop like that!" Pressly was yelling now. "The most I can find near Saren is twenty!"

"Twenty meters? No way we can make a drop in there." Kaidan looked at Shepard. _Please don't kill us now. Its just starting to get good..._

"We have to try!" Liara protested.

Kaidan stormed over to Pressly.

"Find another landing zone!"

"There is no other landing zone!"

Tali double checked her console, and shook her head.

"The descent angle's too sleep."

"Its our only option." Liara said quietly.

"It's not an option! It's a suicide run." Kaidan turned to Shepard. We don't-"

"I can do it." Joker said quietly.

"Joker?" Shepard looked down at him.

"I can do it."

Shepard spun around to face Kaidan and Liara.

"Gear up and head down to the Mako. Joker, drop us right on top of that bastard!"

Kaidan followed Shepard and Liara as they ran through the CIC down to the lower elevator. As they climbed onto the lift, and let it carry them to the flight deck, Kaidan turned to Shepard.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Not entirely." She admitted. "But we have to get down there, and this is the only way."

"Yeah. Just... a twenty meter landing zone? In the Mako?"

She grinned at him.

"How is this going to be different from any other time I drive?"

"True."

"Wait, what?" Liara said nervously.

They geared up quickly, and piled into the Mako. Kaidan sat in Ashley's old spot at the guns, while Liara secured herself into the radar station. Shepard crawled into the driver's seat and turned around to look back at her squad.

"Are we ready?"

"As ready as we are ever going to be." Kaidan put his helmet on and secured it. "Please don't kill us, Shepard."

"We're not going to die. Not here." She nodded her head sharply and turned back around, locking her own helmet into place. The Mako rattled ominously as the Normandy doors opened.

"Get ready for the drop, Commander!" Joker yelled over the intercom. "Thirty seconds out!"

Shepard released the brake on the Mako, and the ship pitched forward, flinging them out. They dropped in free-fall for several long seconds before Shepard hit the thrusters and slowed their descent. They still hit the ground with force, and skidded to a halt in front of a set of closing gigantic doors. They unbuckled and scrambled out of the Mako just in time to see Saren glare at them as the doors slammed shut.

"We have to get inside this bunker before Saren finds the conduit!" Liara said, as Kaidan rushed over to check the seal of the door.

"This place has its own power. Must be running off some kind of generator." He frowned. "This must be the command center for the entire complex. Saren's troops must have sealed the door from here after he went inside. We will have to figure out how do disengage the security lockdown if we ever want to get inside that bunker."

Shepard nodded, and pointed to a small gap in the wall.

"That looks like out best bet. Liara, you're good for combat?"

The Asari grabbed her assault rifle and flared her biotics.

"I am, Shepard."

"Good. Let's get through here as quietly as we can. They know we are here, but they don't have to know exactly where we are."

They slid through the gap into a small, moss covered courtyard. Thankfully there were no Geth, because Liara kept wandering off to examine crumbling Prothean artifacts. After Shepard dragged her back to the squad, they made their way quietly down through the abandoned ruins. A few Geth patrols were encountered, but quickly dispatched. Liara's biotics proved to be an asset to their stealth, between her and Kaidan, they were able to overload and disarm Geth without the noise their rifles would make. Their silent path took them through several winding hallways until they found themselves in a large open room with vaulted ceilings.

"There's a light coming from the far end, I bet that's where the controls are..." Shepard muttered, and headed up a small flight of stairs.

A console was embedded into the wall, the light it gave off flickered sadly in the darkness. Shepard walked up to it and gently ran her gloved hand over the controls.

"We have to hurry." Kaidan checked to make sure there were no Geth hiding in the shadows. "Saren already has a headstart. We have to go find him before he reached the Conduit."

"Unless he's already found it." Liara sounded glum. "Then we're just walking into a trap."

"That's a chance we'll have to take." Shepard said, pressing buttons on the console. There was a loud clicking noise, as if far away locks were being undone. She grinned, and turned around to lead them back to the Mako.

"Hold on! Something's happening!" Kaidan hissed, and Shepard spun back around. The light from to console pulsed strangely, and it emitted a strange noise, as if it were trying to speak. "It sounds like some kind of message, but I don't understand the language."

"It is probably Prothean. This recording must be fifty thousand years old. No wonder we can't understand it."

Shepard looked back at them.

"The message is all broken up, but I recognize some of the words. Its a warning against the Reaper invasion."

Liara's eyes lit up.

"Of course! Between the Beacon and the Cypher, an understanding of the Prothean language would have been transferred into your mind!" She looked more than a little jealous.

"What's it saying?" Kaidan asked, standing behind the Commander. "Can you make out anything useful?"

Shepard stood listening for a few minutes, then shook her head, but as she turned away from the message, her eyes were wide. "It said something about the conduit, but its too degraded to help." She looked up at him. "We should go." As they started walking away, the message seemed to get stuck on a loop, repeating the last few words over and over. Every time the message started over, Shepard twitched slightly.

"Shepard." Kaidan grabbed her by the arm and spun her to face him. "What's it saying?"

"Cannot be stopped." She said softly, then pulled her arm away with fierce determination and took off running back through the large room.

Kaidan and Liara caught up with her outside of a small elevator. She was shifting her weight back and forth nervously as she waited for the doors to open.

"Is everything alright, Shepard?" Liara asked cautiously.

"I... just..." Shepard sighed and leaned against the wall. "We have to stop this. We can't let it happen again."

The elevator arrived, and they rode back up to the ground level in silence. Shepard was still doing the anxious rocking, and practically bolted out of the lift once the doors opened. They were back in the courtyard near the Mako. Sliding back through the gap, Kaidan rechecked the seal on the large doors. This time they slowly creaked open, wide enough for them to drive the Mako through. They climbed back into the transport, and finally continued their pursuit of Saren.

"So." Kaidan said, gripping the edge of his seat as the Mako rattled through the doors. "Who votes we take the vehicle into the creepy, underground tunnel?"

"Good idea!" Shepard called back. "The firepower will come in handy!"

Liara's helmeted face was pressed up against her small window, and she was chattering excitedly about everything they passed.

"I have spent my whole life studying the Protheans, but I never dreamed I would discover something like this! This bunker might have been the last refuge of their entire species! Just imagine what mysteries it might hold!" She sighed contentedly. "I wonder what secrets it might reveal..."

"Hey, try to remember why we're here." Kaidan tried to be as polite as he could. "Saren, the Conduit, the fate of the entire known galaxy?"

Liara coughed nervously.

"I am sorry. I was swept up in the moment. I hope we have the opportunity to study this place in more detail after this is done."

She continued to stare as they drove through the long abandoned tunnel. Kaidan was starting to fell nervous.

"I thought Saren would have set some kind of trap or ambush for us. They must have been in too much of a hurry."

"Or we just have yet to run into it." Liara added gloomily.

As if the universe was responding to their challenge, they whipped around a corner to find a small patrol of Geth waiting for them. Kaidan jumped into action with the guns, but found it hard to target the small troopers. Shepard had apparently decided her method of running them over with the Mako seemed to get the best results. _I miss Ash. She was so good with this thing. _He pushed the sadness aside, and focused on taking out the remaining Geth. He frowned and looked out his window.

"Liara, what are all those things on the wall? Some kind of containers?"

The Asari scientist excitedly examined the wall as it blurred past.

"They look like stasis pods. The Protheans probably tried to keep themselves alive through cryogenic freezing." The excitement in her voice dropped as she let that turn over in her mind. "Something must have gone wrong."

The further down they went, the more overgrown the walls became. Soon the vines and roots were snaking their way across the path. The Mako jerked and rattled like it was in the epicenter of its own personal earthquake. Kaidan gritted his teeth and held on tightly. _We better not run into any Geth, I don't think I can focus my eyes, let alone a gun. _Kaidan was considering unbuckling and lying down on the floor when Shepard slammed on the brakes. A golden glowing wall of energy blocked their path forward. Shepard tried to reverse, but an identical wall had gone up behind them as well.

"What's going on?" Kaidan got out of his seat and crept up under the hatch.

"Is it a trap? An ambush?" Liara looked out her window frantically.

"I don't think so." Shepard nodded at Kaidan, and crawled over her seat. He opened the hatch, and climbed onto the roof, his sidearm out. Shepard boosted Liara out, then pulled herself up, glancing around the small space they had been trapped in.

"I think we are meant to go that way." She pointed at the wall, where a small open door glowed invitingly. Everyone be on alert, we don't know what's down there."

They climbed down the side of the Mako, and cautiously entered the small hallway. It took them around a corner, and ended at an elevator.

"Of course its an elevator." Kaidan sighed. Shepard snorted, and hit the button. A door closed behind them, and they started a descent into the deep catacombs. The elevator let them out a few minutes later at a long walkway. At the end a small console sat illuminated by a single light, but as they came closer, it switched on, displaying a glitchly holograph.

"It looks like some kind of VI program." Kaidan said, inspecting it carefully. "But its pretty badly damaged."

"You are not Prothean." A deep voice boomed out of the console. "But you are not machine either. This eventuality was one of many that was anticipated. This is why we sent our warnings through the beacons." There was a pause, as if it was thinking. "I do not sense the taint of indoctrination upon any of you. Unlike the other that passed recently. Perhaps there is still hope."

Liara was practically jumping with excitement.

"This is incredible! An actual Prothean VI and I can understand it!"

"I have been monitoring you communication since you arrived at this facility." Kaidan shuddered. He didn't like the thought of being watched. "I have translated my output into a format you will comprehend. My name is Vigil. You are safe here, for the moment. But that is likely to change. Soon, nowhere will be safe."

Shepard flipped up the visor on her helmet and leaned towards the flickering lights.

"Are you some kind of artificial intelligence?" She asked.

"I am an advanced non-organic analysis system with personality imprints from Ksad Ishan, chief overseer of the Ilos research facility."

"Why did you bring me here?"

"You must break a cycle that has continued for millions of years. But to stop it, you must understand, or you will make the same mistakes we did." The lights flared brightly as Vigil paused. "The Citadel is the heart of your civilization and the seat of your government. As it was with us, and as it has been with every civilization that came before us. But the Citadel is a trap."Kaidan looked at Shepard, her face had gone sheet white. "The station is actually an enormous mass relay. One that links to dark space, the empty void beyond the galaxy's horizon."

"Oh, hell." Kaidan muttered.

"When the Citadel relay is activated, the Reapers will pour through. And all you know will be destroyed."

"Oh hell is a bit of an understatement, Kaidan." Shepard said softly, before turning back to Vigil. "How do the Reapers survive out in dark space?"

"We have only theories. The researchers here came to believe the Reapers enter prolonged states of inactivity to conserve energy. This allows them to survive the thousands and thousands of years it takes for organic civilization to rebuild itself. But in this state, they are vulnerable. By retreating beyond the edges of the galaxy, they ensure no one will accidentally discover them. They keep their existence hidden until the Citadel relay is activated."

"How come nobody ever noticed the Citadel was an inactive mass relay?" Shepard mouth was practically hanging open with shock.

"The Reapers are careful to keep the greatest secrets of the Citadel hidden That is why they created a species of seemingly benign organic caretakers."

"Oh no, the Keepers!" Shepard slapped her hand to her forehead.

"Those creepy bug things?" Kaidan asked, and she nodded.

"The Keepers maintain the stations most basic functions. They enable any species that discovers the Citadel to use it without fully understanding the technology. Reliance on the Keepers ensures no other species with ever discover the Citadel's true nature. Not until the relay is activate and the Reapers invade."

"This changes... everything..." Liara whispered to herself. "I wish I had a datapad to write all this down!"

Kaidan and Shepard stared at her.

"What?" She answered, defensively. "The Protheans are my life's research! This is rather important!"

"The Reapers can wipe out the Council and the entire Citadel fleet in a single surprise attack!" Shepard snapped, then rubbed the back of her neck. Kaidan wondered if she had picked that up from him, or the other way around. "I'm sorry, Liara. This is just a lot to process."

"That was our fate." The VI continued. "Our leaders were dead before we even realized we were under attack. The Reapers seized control of the Citadel and through it, the mass relays. Communication and transportation across our empire were crippled. Each star system was isolated, cut off from the others. Easy prey for the Reaper fleets."

Kaidan reached over and placed his hand on Shepard's arm. She placed her hand on top of his, and smiled gratefully. Liara moved closer, and they stood in a close group as they listened to Vigil speak of the fall of the Protheans. After the tale had ended, Shepard stood at attention, her back straight as if she was being inspected by the Admiral, but she kept her hand on Kaidan's.

"You said you brought me here for a reason. Tell me what I need to do."

"The Conduit is the key. Before the Reapers attacked, we Protheans were on the cusp of unlocking the mysteries behind mass relay technology. Ilos was a top secret facility. Here researchers worked to create a small scale version of a mass relay. One that linked directly to the Citadel, the hub of the relay network."

"The Conduit's not a weapon! Its a back door into the Citadel!" Liara cried out.

"How did you manage to stay hidden?" asked Shepard.

Vigil spoke at length of the secrecy of Ilos, how the records were destroyed during the Citadel attacks. About how the remaining Protheans tried to wait out the invasion in stasis pods, and how the long centuries of the genocide cause Vigil to turn off the life support of "non essential" workers to save the top researchers.

"There were hundreds of stasis pods out there! You just shut them down? You killed them?" Kaidan felt the twinges of anger. He held them back, now was not the time to get emotional.

Apparently, Shepard was not on the same wavelength.

"You were programmed to protect them!" She yelled. "Not kill them!"

"This outcome was not completely unforeseen. My actions were a result of contingency programming entered on my creation."

"I bet they didn't tell the 'non-essential' staff about this contingency." Shepard muttered.

"I saved key personnel. When the Reapers retreated, the top researchers were still alive. My actions are the only reason any hope remains. When the researchers work, they realized the Prothean species was doomed. There were only a dozen individuals left. Too few to sustain a viable population. Yet they vowed to find some way to stop the Reapers from returning. A way to break the cycle forever. And they knew the keepers were the key."

"Aren't they under the influence of the Reapers?"

"The keepers are controlled by the Citadel. Before each invasion, a signal is sent though the station compelling the keepers to activate the Citadel relay. After decades of feverish study, the scientists discovered a way to alter the signal. Using the Conduit, they gained access to the Citadel and made the modifications. This time, when Sovereign sent the signal to the Citadel, the keepers ignored it. The Reapers are trapped in dark space."

"Saren can use the Conduit to bypass all the Citadel's external defenses! Is there any way we can stop them?"

"There is a data file in my console. Take a copy when you go. When you reach the Citadel's master control

unit, upload it to the station. It will corrupt the Citadel's security protocols and give you temporary control of the station. It might give you a chance against Sovereign."

"Saren's got enough of a head start. Kaidan, grab that data file and let's go!"

"The one you call Saren has not yet reached the Conduit. There is still hope, if you hurry."

As Kaidan jogged up to the console to retrieve the data file, Liara stepped in front of Shepard.

"Are you sure we have to leave right away? Who knows how long Vigil will be here! Even now the projection is weak. This might be our only chance to speak with it. Our only link to the knowledge of the Prothean. It is the opportunity of a lifetime!"

Shepard gently put her hand on the Asari's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Liara. We have to stop Saren. Nothing else matters right now."

"You are right. I am sorry. My personal feelings clouded my judgment. We should go."

Kaidan grabbed his OSD as the file finished uploading. He nodded at Shepard, and they ran back to the elevator. As it carried them back to the Mako, he looked down at her out of the corner of his eye. _Nothing else matters? _She glanced up, and elbowed him gently in the side. _We matter. _He smiled, and elbowed her back as the doors opened. The large walls of energy were gone, allowing the Mako to proceed further down the long tunnel.

Liara sighed heavily as she strapped herself into the radar station.

"You okay?" Kaidan asked, seeing the dejected expression on her face.

"All their culture. All their advanced technology. And the Protheans were taken in by the Reapers, as we were. They failed."

"Not entirely." He said as gently as he could, over the rumble of the Mako's engines. "They've given us a weapon. They've given us a chance, if we can get there in time."

Her face brightened slightly, and she turned to gaze at the radar screen.

"Shepard! I'm picking up small groups of Geth ahead!"

"Kaidan, take out as many as you can, but we're just going barrel through. We don't have time to waste picking them off." To prove her point, she slammed the Mako through a group of troopers, taking out half of them before driving on. "Anyway, we are faster than them in this thing. I hope..."

They careened through narrow tunnels for what seemed like an eternity. Kaidan gritted his teeth and focused on picking off troopers as they speed by. _If we survive this, I am never letting her drive anything ever again. _

"What the hell..." Shepard's voice trailed off as a soft blue glow lit up the interior of the Mako. She slammed on the brakes at the top of a long descent into a giant open room. In the center stood a mass relay, a twin to the small statue that stood on the Citadel Presidium.

"The Conduit!" Liara gasped. "It's incredible!"

"We don't have time to admire the view! We have to get through that relay somehow!"

Shepard gunned the engine hard, causing the wheels to spin wildly before they caught their grip and lurched the Mako forward.

"How are we going to get through the relay?" Liara called up to Shepard. Her only answer was to urge the transport to a faster speed. The engine giving off a high pitched whine of protest.

_She's going to take us through in the Mako._

"Shepard you can't be serious!" He yelled up at her. "We're all going to die!"

"It has to work, Kaidan!" She screamed back, the glow of the relay so bright it was almost blinding. "There's isn't any other way!"

They hit the relay. The feeling was a thousand times worse then the first. Kaidan felt like ever cell in his body was stretched to its limit. But before he could cry out in pain, they crash landed at the Citadel.

Kaidan opened his eyes to find the Mako on its side. He carefully unbuckled himself and dropped down. He looked over at Shepard, who was busy disentangling herself from some hanging cables, and Liara, who was on her back, strapped in to what was now the floor. He helped the Asari undo her harness, and they used their combined weight to push open the hatch. They climbed out of the transport, and onto the destroyed floor of the Citadel Presidium. While Liara gaped at the burning ruins, Kaidan turned to watch Shepard crawl out of the Mako. He ran up to her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Are you fucking crazy?" He yelled, shaking her by the shoulders. "You just drove a Mako through a MASS RELAY!" She grinned recklessly as he pulled her in for a tight hug.

"We're okay. It's okay." She said, her voice muffled by his armor. "It's all going to be okay. We're so close now." He released his grip on her slightly, and pressed his helmeted forehead to her's. "You just have to trust I know what I'm doing."

"Always." He let go of her arm, and they looked up at the chaos above them. Geth and Council ships fought desperately before the looming silhouette of Sovereign.

"Oh no." Shepard spun and starting running towards the elevator to the Council chambers. "Letsgoletsgoletsgo." Kaidan and Liara took off after her, letting the sounds of battle and destruction fall behind them. They had to reach the Council chambers before Saren did, or everything would be lost. He looked at Shepard as they waited by the lift. _I have to trust that she knows what we are going to do next. I can't lose her now. _

(A/N 2 Chapters to go! Finishing the main story, then an epilogue. Then on to ME2. Hopefully I will get that one done just in time for ME3!)


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

As the elevator rose, the squad stared through the glass doors in horror at the destruction below them. Debris and ship wreckage floated slowly, fires guttering out as the last of the oxygen burned. Suddenly, the lift gave a jolt, sending Kaidan stumbling up against the wall.

"What the hell was that?"

"The station arms are closing!" Liara shouted, trying to grip onto the railing. "The Citadel is protecting itself!"

"Not fast enough." Shepard's voice was flat. She was pressed up against the doors, her expression invisible behind her helmet. "Sovereign is here." Kaidan and Liara rushed to her side, as the terrible truth unfolded before them.

The Reaper slipped through the arms into the now sealed Citadel, and floated leisurely towards the Council tower. _How many terrified civilians are watching this, thinking that they are about to die? _He glanced down at Shepard and shuddered. Sovereign was reflected on the visor of her helmet, her eyes slightly visible as they focused on her ultimate enemy. Silently, they watched as the Reaper extended its arms and attached itself to the tower. Almost immediately, the elevator screeched to a halt.

"Saren's locked the elevator!" Shepard grabbed her sidearm and stared at it thoughtfully. "Suit up- we're going outside."

"Outside?" Liara stuttered as she locked her visor in place. "What do you mean outside?"

"This." Shepard leaned back and fired at the doors, sending shards of glass floating out into the empty space of the closed Citadel.

Kicking away the last big pieces of glass, Shepard nodded to the squad and leaned out over the abyss. Kaidan held his breath as she stretched out her arms and stepped out. When the magnetic forces in her boots took effect and pulled her back down, he breathed out with relief. He and Liara followed swiftly, and they took a brief moment to look up at Sovereign.

"How are we going to take that down?" Liara whispered over the comms. "Its enormous."

"We have to get the arms open so the fleet can get to it." Shepard said, tilting her head as she stared at the Council tower. "I wonder if the Council was able to get out in time."

"Let's hope so." Kaidan said as they started running. "If they didn't, it doesn't look good."

They made their way down what was once an air shaft, climbing over barriers and through small tunnels. Kaidan was just starting to think they had made it this far undetected when the Geth proved him wrong. An elevator pulled up alongside them, and the glass exploded outwards, followed by several Geth troopers, and one large Geth destroyer.

"Dammit!" Shepard yelled, as they took cover behind a large pillar. "Kaidan! Liara! Overload the big one! I'll take the troopers!" She swapped out her pistol for her assault rifle, and rushed out to meet the Geth. Kaidan leaned out and reached out for the destroyer with his power. Feeling Liara's power mingling with his was unnerving, but he shook it off as they brought the creature down. It's limp form floated past Shepard, who gave it a shove.

"Nice work, you two." She looked at the Geth and sighed. "I guess we need to be stealthy now. The last thing we need is the entire Geth army descending on us. Let's keep the comm chatter to a minimum, in case they are picking up on that."

The air shaft tunnels soon opened to give them a full view of the Citadel. The closer they got to Sovereign, the more the size of the Reaper and the desperateness of their situation became obvious. _Even if we are able to take that one out, there is still an entire fleet of those things waiting for us. _Kaidan felt his stomach drop. Even in his darkest times, he had always tried to hang on to a small glimmer of hope, but at this moment, he wasn't sure what hope there was. _There's Shepard. _As they ran quietly through long corridors, he contemplated the Commander. _She always has a plan, and she's not afraid to take on this impossible task. But she's only human. She's not a god or a superhero. Is this something we can actually pull off? _He shook the doubts aside. _If anyone is going to get us through this, its going to be her._ Their path took them up a small rise, and they found themselves looking out at the whole of the Citadel.

"Drop ship!" Shepard yelled, breaking the silence. "Stealth time is over!"

The large ships that had plagued them throughout the mission seemed miniscule as it sped past Sovereign, and started unloading its cargo of troops.

"We'll never get through all of those troops!" Kaidan waved his arm at the growing army. "We have to get rid of the ship!"

Shepard looked around frantically.

"The tower defense turrets!" She spun to face him, her eyes barely visible. "Kaidan, Liara and I will lay down cover for you if you can get them working!"

He nodded, and they set off for the first turret.

Working frantically to rewire the turret, Kaidan took comfort in the weight of Shepard as she braced herself against him. He let himself get absorbed in his task, trusting that she would protect him as he worked. _Funny how things work out. I set out to be the great protector, and now I'm putting my life completely in the hands of the woman I'm falling for. _He slammed the panel on the turret shut as it sprang into life, sending rockets flying towards the Geth ship.

"I programmed it to take out the ship, then target the Geth!" He said, as they bolted for the next turret.

"Nice work, Lieutenant!" She took up her position by his side as he went to work on the next turret. Now that he knew what he was doing, the rewiring went faster. Part of him wanted to linger, to feel her leaning against him like they were back at the bar and everything was okay. _Dammit, if you don't make it to the Citadel tower and save the galaxy, you will never have a moment like that again. Her bracing herself against you as she kills Geth is going to be the closest you ever get to her again. Pull yourself together!_

The second turret powered on, and started unloading its arsenal on the Geth ship.

"Its retreating!" Liara cried triumphantly. Kaidan stood up and helped his squad mates dispatch the remainder of the Geth forces. He was so used to combat being loud and overwhelming that the silence of open space gave him the chills. Once the fighting was over, Shepard turned to face them.

"Okay, we need to go back to radio silence until we get into the Council Chambers. We are so close, we can't risk the drop ship coming back when we don't have the turrets. So stay low, stay quiet, and keep your eyes open for hatches that will let us in." She gave the signal, and the squad moved out.

As they moved up the tower, Kaidan and Liara went back to their strategy of overloading the smaller groups of Geth. The larger squads they encountered resulted in brief firefights, but the drop ship never returned with reinforcements. Kaidan felt a knot of worry growing as Sovereign loomed over them. _We don't have to take it down ourselves. We just need to get the arms open for the fleet. Stop looking at it, you're just going to freak yourself out. Shepard needs you to have a clear head. _He kicked himself mentally, and watched Liara grab Shepard by the arm. The Asari pointed frantically at the ground, where the handle of a small hatch was visible. Shepard gave her a thumbs up, and wrenched the panel open before dropping inside through the glowing emergency airlock. Kaidan helped Liara climb in, then lowered himself down, closing the hatch behind him.

The hatch lead them to the Council Chambers, near the elevator at the bottom of the long stairwell. Kaidan glanced around at the burning trees, and checked a meter on his armor. There was definitely air in here. He looked at Shepard, and pointed at her head. She checked her own readings, then lifted the visor on her helmet. Her face was grim, determined, but it softened for a brief moment as she looked at him. Then she nodded slightly at him, and took off running through the small garden towards the top of the stairs. As they rounded the last fountain, Shepard picked up speed. Saren stood on the extended walkway, swiftly entering commands on a glowing terminal. Hearing their approach, he growled and stepped off the edge, only to rise a few seconds later on his floating platform. He grinned evilly, and tossed a grenade towards the squad.

Shepard dove to her left, Kaidan was too far away to take cover with her, instead he and Liara took shelter to the right. He cringed as the grenade exploded, showering the Commander in debris.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time, Shepard." Saren's rough voice was mocking.

"In time for what?" She shouted back at him.

"The final confrontation. I think we both expected it would end like this. You've lost. You know that, don't you? In a few minutes Sovereign will have full control of all the Citadel's systems. The relay will open. The Reapers will return." Kaidan peered cautiously over the top of the decorative shrub he was crouched behind. Shepard's only cover was the small planter she sat up against, she was almost completely exposed. If Saren were to hover a few feet higher, he was going to have a clear shot. _I wonder if I can overload his board from here._

"I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve." Shepard said defiantly.

"You survived our encounter on Virmire." Saren glared directly at Kaidan. Liara reached up and pulled him back down, shaking her head. "But I've changed since then. Improved. Sovereign has... upgraded me."

"You let Sovereign implant you? Are you insane?"

"I suppose I should thank you, Shepard. After Virmire, I couldn't stop thinking about what you said. About Sovereign manipulating me. About indoctrination. The doubts began to eat away at me. Sovereign sensed my hesitation. I was implanted to strengthen my resolve. Now my doubts are gone. I believe in Sovereign completely. I understand the Reapers need organics. Join us and Sovereign will find a place for you, too."

Kaidan and Liara stared at each other, open mouthed in horror. They couldn't see Saren at all, and Shepard was barely visible through the leaves of their cover, but Kaidan could practically sense her eyebrows going up.

"Sovereign's controlling you through your implants! Don't you see that?"

"The relationship is symbiotic. Organic and machine intertwined, a union of flesh and steel." Saren spoke calmly, as if he were a professor lecturing a problem student. "the strength of both, the weakness of neither. I am a vision of the future, Shepard. The evolution of all organic life. This is our destiny. Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth!" Kaidan leaned to the side so he could see Shepard clearly. Emotions flashed across her face as if she were making a difficult decision. Finally, she tilted her head back and called up to the rogue Spectre.

"Sovereign hasn't won yet! I can stop it from taking control of the station!" She took a deep breath. "Step aside and the invasion will never happen!"

"We can't stop it! Not forever." Saren's cool exterior crumbled, panic rising in his gravelly voice. "You saw the visions. You saw what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful."

"Some part of you must still realize this is wrong! You can fight this!"

"Maybe you're right. Maybe there is still a chance for... uhh!" Kaidan and Liara both lifted their heads to see what was happened. Saren was clutching his head and groaning, his platform swaying as he lost control over his balance. "The implants... Sovereign is too strong. I'm sorry. It's too late for me."

Shepard stood up and took several running steps towards him. Kaidan noticed that despite her words of peace, she still had her side arm firmly aimed at the Turian.

"It's not over yet! You can still redeem yourself!"

"Goodbye, Shepard. Thank you." Calmness restored on his face, Saren raised his own pistol, placed it against his head, and pulled the trigger. His limp body slumped to the side, and fell off the platform, crashing through glass into the ornamental rock garden below.

Kaidan and Liara ran to join Shepard at the Council controls. He pointed downwards at Saren's crumpled body, and stared at the Commander, but she shook her head, and held out her hand. He handed her the OSD with the Prothean program on it.

"Vigil's data file worked. I've got control of all systems." She turned to face to squad.

"We need to open the station arms. Maybe the fleet can take Sovereign out before he regains control over the station!"

Liara nodded.

"See if you can open a communications channel."

Shepard fiddled with the controls for a moment, and a distant, static filled voice came over the small speakers.

"...The Destiny Ascension! Main drives offline. Kinetic barriers down 40%. The Council is on board. I repeat, the Council is on board!"

"Normand to the Citadel! Normandy to the Citadel!" Joker's voice interrupted the Destiny Ascension. "Please tell me that''s you, Commander!"

"I'm here, Joker."

"We caught that distress call, Commander. I'm sitting here in the Andura sector with the entire Arcturus fleet. We can save the Ascension, just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the cavalry in!"

"Are you sure about this, Shepard?" Liara's voice was soft and thoughtful. "Human casualties will be very high if you send your fleet in now."

"This is bigger than humanity!" Kaidan argued. "Sovereign's a threat to every organic species in the galaxy!"

"The Council must be sacrificed for the greater good. Don't waste your reinforcements. Hold them back until the Citadel arms open up. Save the human fleet to attack Sovereign."

"What's the order, Commander? Come in now to save the Ascension or hold back?"

Shepard looked from Kaidan to Liara and back, then sighed deeply.

"Opening the relays now, Joker. We need to save the Ascension, no matter what the cost."

"The noble choice." Liara looked at Shepard expectantly. "I hope it does not also turn out to be the wrong one."

They stood together by the control panel, listening to the comm chatter.

"Alliance ships move in! Save the Destiny Ascension!" Admiral Hackett made Shepard's decision official. All they could do now was wait. As the room echoed with the faint sounds of battle, Kaidan watched Shepard's face. With each explosion, every scream, her eyes seemed to get darker. She wasn't breathing. _If this backfires and we lose the fleet, she is never going to forgive herself. _He laughed a little to himself. _Luckily that will only be for about twenty minutes. If we lose the fleet, Sovereign's going to kill us all anyway._ After what seemed like an eternity, Joker's voice came back over the radio.

"Destiny Ascension, you are all clear. Repeat, you are all clear!"

Shepard breathed out in a rush of relief. She looked up at Kaidan and grinned wildly.

"The Citadel is opening!" Admiral Hackett took over the comms again. "All ships move in! Concentrate on Sovereign!"

Even though the large window was blocked by one of Sovereign's arms, the squad was still able to catch a quick glimpse of the Normandy fly by. _Everything is going to be okay. We survived. If I wasn't wearing this damn helmet I'd give Shepard a victory kiss. Or something._He stepped up next to Shepard as she looked down at Saren's crumpled body. She turned to look up at Kaidan.

"I'm going to find us a way out of here, you two make sure he's dead."

He nodded, and lowered himself down to the small garden.

Liara approached the body first, and cautiously nudged it with her foot. Kaidan stared down at the gaping hole in Saren's face. For a brief moment he saw Nihlus lying there, but he shook it off.

"You complete bastard." He muttered, pulling out the pistol Shepard had given him. "You almost killed us all." He shot the dead Turian between the eyes, then turned to Liara. "He's definitely dead."

As if the galaxy had one last joke in store for him, Saren's corpse twitched wildly. Red fire and lightning covered the body, and spread across the floor and walls, causing everything to shake violently. Saren's armor exploded, throwing Kaidan and Liara against the wall. The walkway Shepard was standing on cracked and dropped, sending her down through the remaining glass and onto the floor. Kaidan struggled to his feet at the same time as the creature that was Saren. When his armor had exploded, it had taken most of his skin and muscle with it, leaving only bones and hate. The red fire filled its chest and eyes, making it the most demonic thing Kaidan had ever seen in his entire life. He pulled Liara to her feet, and they ran to help Shepard. The thing launched itself onto the ceiling, then back to the far wall.

"I am Sovereign!" A deep, terrible voice came from everywhere. "And this station is MINE."

They struggled in vain to hit the animated corpse, but it moved too fast.

"Get it in the air!" Shepard yelled. "Hold it in a field so I can shoot it!"

Kaidan and Liara both reached out with their powers, Kaidan using everything he had to restrain the undead Saren. The Reaper's powers were overwhelming, and it came close to breaking through their field several times. Shepard ran underneath it, and fired into its head with her assault rifle until it overheated. She threw it down, and shot with her pistol until the red fire vanished from its eyes. Kaidan collapsed to his knees as he released his biotic field, and watched Saren's body fall to the ground and disintegrate.

As Liara and Shepard helped him up, they heard Joker's voice triumphant over the radio.

"Its shields are down! Now's our chance!"

He leaned on Liara as they wearily climbed up the collapsed walkway, and turned at the top to stare out the large window. Shepard was still halfway up the path when a giant explosion ripped through Sovereign, sending pieces of the Reaper flying in all directions. Including straight towards the window, and them.

"GO!" Shepard screamed. They only had time for a few steps before the debris hit, sending Kaidan into nothingness.

He awoke a few minutes later to sharp pain in his head.

"Oh, you're alright!" Liara's face appeared above him, and it took a moment for his eyes to focus on her.

"Yeah. What happened?"

"When Sovereign exploded, several large pieces burst into the Council Chambers." She looked around nervously. "We are currently trapped under one."

Finally taking stock of his surroundings, he noticed the Asari was crouched next to him, unable to stand up. He shifted to lean up against a nearby wall, and noticed an absence.

"Where's the Commander?"

Liara's face fell.

"I do not know. She was behind us. I can see through a small gap that there is a lot of debris, but most of it is on fire..."

"SHEPARD?" He yelled, as loudly as his body would let him. He waited anxiously for a reply that didn't come. "Nononono. You can't do this to me now!" He ripped his helmet off and slammed it down. "Dammit we came so close! Maybe I can move this and get down there!" He used his shoulder to try and move the piece of debris he was leaning against. But he had used all his strength holding back Saren, he had nothing left. He kicked his helmet in frustration, sending it crashing against the wall of their small prison.

"I am sorry. There is a chance she is just unconscious..." Liara removed her own helmet and sat next to him. "I know how you felt about her. How you feel about her." She corrected herself. "There is a good chance she is unconscious as you were. If we wait, we are sure to hear her."

They sat in the silence. With every minute that passed, Kaidan felt his heart get colder. _She can't be dead. Not now. We won. We saved the Citadel. We saved the galaxy. Everything the galaxy threw at her couldn't kill her, and a damn piece of rubble takes her out? No fucking way. I know she's down there. She has to be down there. Oh please don't be dead. Please._ His head shot up as he hear noise, but it was coming from the wrong direction. A few moments later, a piece of debris was moved and a light shined out of the darkness.

"Captain Anderson! We've found them! They're in here!" The med tech crawled in and helped Liara out, as Anderson himself made his way to Kaidan.

"Take it easy, Lieutenant. It's over. You're safe now." He knelt to get close to Kaidan's face. "Where's the Commander? Where's Shepard?"

Kaidan shook his head slowly, and looked through the gap at the burning rubble. Anderson followed his gaze, then looked back at Kaidan.

"Let's get you out of here, Lieutenant. You need rest and medical attention." He offered his hand, so Kaidan took it, and let the Captain pull him to his feet and help him away. He felt numb all over. They had just moved a few feet when Anderson stopped, and practically dropped Kaidan.

He turned slowly to face the ruins of the Council Chamber, half expecting to see the rescue workers carrying Shepard's body. When he saw her climbing over the edge of the large hole in the floor, he gave out an involuntary cry of relief. _That's my girl! _She was holding her arm close to her chest as if it were injured, but she was alive. The hardness and anger that had been building inside him evaporated. She limped towards them, her face breaking out into a huge grin when she saw him. He was trying to muster enough strength to pull her close when he remembered where he was, and who they were with. He steadied himself on Anderson, and gave her a weak salute instead.

"Commander! Its good to see you."

"Likewise, Lieutenant!" She clasped hands with Anderson, then allowed a med tech to help her out of the council chambers.

Kaidan awoke later in the Normandy med bay, He looked around for the Doctor, but noticed Shepard, sitting in the shadows.

"Where's the doctor?" He asked, pulling himself up into a sitting position.

"Sleeping." Shepard pointed to a pile of blankets on a far cot. She then stood up and walked over to him. "I remember you watched over me after Eden Prime. I thought it was only fair to return the favor."

He reached out and took her hand gently.

"Don't you have to report to the Council? They did make it, right?"

She nodded, and laughed.

"Kaidan, you've been asleep for a 36 hours. Debriefings are over. The Council is not only alive, but eternally grateful. They are offering Anderson the position as the first Human Councilor."

"Anderson over Udina?"

"Well... I might have had some sway in that." She grinned again, and he felt all the warmth return to his body.

"We're really alone in here?"

She nodded, and put her finger to her lips.

He let go of her hand, and grabbed her gently around the waist, hugging her against his chest.

"Hey you."

She wrinkled her nose at him, then nestled her head against his collarbone.

"I thought I'd lost you for a minute there." he murmured softly, stroking her hair.

"Can't get rid of me that easily, Lieutenant." She looked up, and butted her forehead against his with a sigh. He leaned forward and kissed her swiftly, letting all of the emotion and tension release. She ran her fingers through his hair, pulling herself in closer. They stayed locked in their embrace until they heard the Doctor start to stir. Springing apart, Shepard jumped up to sit on the cot opposite Kaidan.

"So. Um, where are we going now, Commander?"

"Back to Earth. The Alliance is going to let us have a ceremony for Ashley, then we get a week of shore leave."

"Shore leave, huh?"

She grinned at him, and stood to leave as the Doctor approached.

"We'll talk later, Kaidan."

"I'd like that."

(A/N wow. Can't believe I finished that. Okay, so I am going to write an epilogue chapter for this, so don't go away quite yet. At the same time, I'll post the first chapter in my ME2 story. I'll put the name of it at the end of the ME1 epilogue, so you guys can find it, if you so choose. Thanks for all the support and the readings, and thanks to everyone that has reviewed. And I have no idea how some of my chapters got posted out of order. That's totally wonky. But thanks for the heads up on that!

Can I say thanks a few more times in this note? Geez.)


	21. Chapter 21

EPILOGUE.

Kaidan climbed out of his taxi shuttle, walked across a dirt parking lot, and looked out across the orange landscape of the Palo Duro Canyon. The strong wind whipped the desert dust into the air and picked at the sleeves of his dress blues. After taking a moment to readjust his uniform, he approached an older woman in black, who shared Ashley's strong nose and wide mouth.

"Ma'am." He saluted. "I'm Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. I served with Gunnery Chief Williams on the Normandy." Ashley's mother nodded politely. Her eyes were red, and her lip trembled, but she held her composure.

"Of course." She took Kaidan's hand and shook it warmly. "Ashley wrote us about you. She said you were a fine officer."

"She was a commendable soldier, and a good person. I am going to miss serving with her, and I am very sorry for your family's loss. I also would like to pass on the condolences of Mr. Garrus Vakarian. He served with us as well, but has been reassigned and was unable to attend the services." Garrus had been correct in guessing the alien squad mates would not be invited to the funeral, and Kaidan always kept his promises.

"Oh. Please thank him for me." She turned her head slightly as a man in a suit came up to her, holding a large clipboard. Kaidan stepped back to let her attend to the other mourners, and looked around for other members of the Normandy crew. Captain Anderson was deep in conversation with Doctor Chakwas and Navigator Pressly, most likely about his upcoming transition to Councilor. He didn't recognize a lot of the people in dress blues, he assumed they were Ashley's friends from basic training and her other assignments. As his eyes searched through the sea of blue, the crunch of gravel behind him caught his attention. Shepard was pushing Joker in a wheelchair across the parking lot, and as they came closer, Joker's voice got louder.

"I don't see why you have to push me, Commander! I am more than capable of steering myself."

"No. You ran over my foot at the spaceport, so I turned off your controls." She looked up at Kaidan and smiled. It had only been a few hours since they had seen each other, but he felt like it had been forever.

"Hey, Alenko. Why didn't you take the troop shuttle from the spaceport with us? We had a brilliant time."

"Yes, the Captain threatening to court marshal you was really a highlight." Shepard rolled her eyes.

"What did you do?" Kaidan asked, incredulously.

"Someone wouldn't stop lecturing the driver about his lackluster handling skills and inefficient shifting. The poor man landed in Santa Rosa and refused to go any further. Anderson had to talk him into driving the rest of the way. We had to stick Joker in the back."

"I should have driven. We would have been here hours ago."

"A transport is not the same thing as a warship, Joker."

"Sounds like I missed all the fun." Kaidan laughed quietly. "No, shore leave starts tomorrow, and I'm spending it in Vancouver with my family. But I've been cooped up in space for so long, I thought it would be nice to find my own way up there."

"I know one thing." Shepard said, with an evil smile on her face. "I'm not getting back on that transport. Alenko, as your CO, I'm ordering you to drop me off at the spaceport on your way north."

"Huh. Riiight." Joker said, completely unconvinced by their pretense.

Kaidan was about to snark right back at him, when he noticed the other mourners all heading in a similar direction.

"Looks like its starting. Shepard, you should probably be with the Captain. I'll push Joker." She nodded and trudged across the parking lot ahead of them.

'Don't say anything, or I'll push you into the canyon." Kaidan hissed to Joker.

"Fine." Joker sulked as they rattled across the gravel. "But you guys owe me big for keeping quiet. And saving your asses at the Citadel. Who actually killed the Reaper? Oh right. That was me."

"Yes, yes, you are the big damn hero."

Kaidan pushed Joker's chair onto a small lawn half filled with chairs; Ashley's civilian friends and relatives would sit through the memorial, but the Alliance soldiers were expected to stand for a fallen comrade. They made their way to the front, and took their places behind the Captain and the Commander. As he passed Shepard, he let his fingertips brush across the back of her hand, and without looking at him, she gave a slight smile before putting her Commander face back on. The priest was organizing his notes when Kaidan felt a hand on his arm.

"Help me up." Joker said. "I want to stand. For Ash."

"You'll be okay?"

"As long as I don't bump into anything too hard. And if its a short service. I'll be fine."

Kaidan held his arm steady as Joker used it to pull himself out of the wheelchair. The pilot winced slightly, but got himself standing. He nodded to himself, then leaned over to whisper to Kaidan.

"If I need to, I'll grab your arm. I'm not sitting back down till this is over."

As the priest started the service, Kaidan found his gaze wandering. Protocol demanded he face forward, but he still had a decent view of the area. The small lawn they stood on was situated on the edge of a large cliff, looking out at the sloping walls of the mesa. The late afternoon light caused deep shadows to cut across the canyon floor, stark contrasts to the red of the rocks. Kaidan had never been very religious, so he stared out at the view until the priest actually started talking about Ashley. The nature of her death had naturally not left a body behind, so she was represented by her dress blues, pressed and neatly folded under a large copy of her official Alliance photo. The priest spoke of her love of family, sense of duty, and admiration of honor. _He forgot allegiance to tequila._ Kaidan thought to himself, and had to fight a smile. The breeze picked up, and he watched Shepard's short hair blow around wildy. _That must be driving her crazy. _She had mentioned the day before that she used to keep her hair long and braided, but some kind of mishap had resulted in it getting cut to her ears. The nature of the mishap was still being kept a secret, but her desire to grow it back out was not, she hated her short hair. As the wind blew it in crazy directions, he saw her ears turn red. _She knows I'm looking at her hair. _ He stifled another smile. _I should feel bad for laughing at Ashley's funeral. But she would think it was funny, too._ _She had that wicked sense of humor. _He felt the pangs of guilt hit for the first time since Virmire. He glanced over at her mother and sisters. _If they knew that Shepard had to decide between us, they would hate us forever. _He shook that thought off, and tuned back into the priest. The old man droned on about Ashley as if he were reading her Alliance records, but finally he sat down and one of her sister's took his place. She spoke of of the Ashley that Kaidan knew. All wit and sharp tongue, but a faithful friend to the core. She told stories of their childhood that made everyone laugh, including herself, her face breaking out into the wide grin she shared with her sister. She ended her eulogy by reading Ulysses, Ashley's favorite poem.

"It little profits that an idle king, by this still hearth, among these barren crags, matched with an aged wife, I mete and dole unequal laws unto a savage race, that hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me..." Her voice echoed out into the canyon, Kaidan felt himself relax as he watched the wind carry leaves over the cliff edge. "Much have I seen and known; cities of men and manners, climates, councils, governments, myself not least, but honored of them all; and drunk delight of battle with my peers; far on the ringing plains of windy Troy..." He thought back to the many sides of Ashley he knew. Battle hardened, fierce fighter Ashley. Tequila shooting, elevator dancing Ashley. Snarky, gossipy, good friend Ashley. "Come, my friends, 'tis not too late to seek a newer world. Push off, and sitting well in order smite the sounding furrows; for my purpose holds to sail beyond the sunset, and the baths of all the western stars, until I die..." Kaidan tried not to react to the sound of Ashley's mother sobbing. It was one of the most heartbreaking sounds he had ever heard. "We are not now that strength which in the old days moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are, one equal-temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." She finished the poem, and rejoined her mother and sisters. The priest gave the closing prayer, and Captain Anderson stepped forward and faced the assembled soldiers.

"Marines, Atten-hut!" He called out. They all snapped to rigid attention and saluted. Three Corporals stepped up and fired a three-volley salute over the canyon. Once the echos faded away, Captain Anderson presented Ashley's mother with a folded Alliance flag. She clutched it to her chest and let out another sob. Kaidan winced. "Marines, at ease!" Kaidan let his shoulders relax, and let Joker lean up against him. "Dismissed!" Finally able to move freely, Kaidan turned to help Joker back down into his chair. He pretended not to see the tears welling up in his friend's eyes. Unlocking the brakes, he steered he wheelchair back down to the parking lot, and into the small reception area.

As they made their way to the buffet line, Shepard came up behind them.

"After we mingle for a while, we should head out. I'm really not that good at funerals." Kaidan nodded, and she turned away to speak to Ashley's mother. Joker grabbed two plates and Kaidan loaded them up with food, then wheeled them over to a table in the corner. As they ate in silence, a shadow fell over them. They looked up to face Ashley's sister, the one who had recited Ulysses.

"You must be Kaidan and Joker." She said, standing between them. "I recognize you from the news and Ashley's vidmail. I'm Abby. That's Lynn and Sarah over with Mom." She pointed to two smaller Ashley look-alikes. "Thank you for coming. We really do appreciate it. We all knew this was a possibility when Ash enlisted. I'm just glad to know she had good friends in the Alliance..." She looked up suddenly as her mother called to her. "I have to go, but again, thank you for coming."

Kaidan and Joker looked at each other, then spent the next few hours sitting awkwardly alone at their table. The other marines were all corporals or NCOs, and tended to avoid officers at formal gatherings. Kaidan was secretly glad Ashley's sisters never came back. He would always feel guilt about the way she died. Only the Normandy crew and Kirrahe's men knew about the choice Shepard had made, but he felt like it was a tattoo on his forehead.

"Did you already talk to Ashley's mother?" Kaidan jumped as Shepard snuck up again.

"Huh?" He turned to face her. "Oh, yeah, we spoke before the service."

"Great. I snuck my bags out of the shuttle, and called a taxi to get us back to the spaceport. It should be here in ten minutes. Anderson is distracted, so if we are going to leave, now is the time. I hate to sneak out of Ashley's wake, but if we don't go now, we won't have another chance. Anderson is already suspicious that I'm not taking the transport back." She glared at Joker. "You know nothing, Mr. Moreau."

"Lips are sealed, Commander. But can you send Chakwas over here so I'm not totally bored? I think she has a flask." Shepard nodded, and leaned over Kaidan's shoulder.

"I'll go talk to the Doctor, then I'll meet you at the taxi." She disappeared into the crowd.

"See you next week, Joker."

Joker held his fist up. Kaidan laughed, then bumped his knuckles to his friend's. He quickly glanced around the room, then ducked out a side door. Shepard was walking out the front, and jogged to catch up with him. Their taxi was idling quietly in the parking lot, the driving drumming his fingers on the dashboard as they climbed in.

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"Thought we'd head over to the Pacific Ocean."

"Nice." She laced her fingers through his, and the taxi took off, roaring into the night.

"I'm looking forward to being a normal person for a few days." She said, resting her head on his shoulder.

"How so?"

"I have to be 'Commander Shepard' all the time. I don't get to put my guard down. Even when I'm off duty, I still have to be the Marine, the CO, the Spectre. I have to get the job done. I don't get to be me, I have to take all of the fun things that make up the real Shepard and push them away, deep inside."

"How is the real you different from the Shepard I know?"

Shepard laughed.

"Well, she's a lot louder. She likes really bad jokes, and can barbeque like a champion. Hates moths."

"She sound's like my kind of girl." He frowned. "...Moths? Really?"

The taxi dropped them off at the Spaceport, and Shepard disappeared with one of her bags. Kaidan waited awkwardly near their gate, scanning the thick crowd for her return, and jumped as someone tugged his sleeve. Shepard had snuck around behind him, she had pulled her hair back with a white headband, and changed into a sweatshirt and cargo pants. He had never seen her in any clothes besides hardsuits and various uniforms, and seeing her in civilian clothes was a bit of a shock. As he looked her over, he laughed when he saw her feet. She was wearing a cheap white pair of sandals, exposing her painted toenails. Forgetting he was still in his formal uniform, he picked her up off the ground and kissed her fiercely.

"Isn't that sweet?" A voice said from nearby. Kaidan set Shepard down and they looked around for the source. Two old women had stopped to watch them.

"It's so nice to see young ladies supporting our boys in uniform." One said.

"Oh yes. And he's so handsome. You've got yourself a keeper there, girl!" They laughed loudly, and wandered off into the crowd.

"You should go change before we catch the next shuttle." Shepard said, grinning wildly. "We don't want you getting ogled by more grandmothers." He nodded, and left her with most of their bags to go change. When he got to the small locker room and pulled out his civilian clothes, he laughed to himself. Sweatshirt and cargo pants.

"I think this identifies us a military more than the uniform did." He said when he returned to Shepard. "We obviously don't spring for variety in our fashion."

They grabbed their things, and boarded the next shuttle to California.

After arriving on the coast, they hired one last taxi to take them to their destination. It drove them through a small ocean-side tourist town and pulled up at a quaint bed and breakfast.

"Really?" Shepard said, staring up at the old wooden building as they pulled their bags out of the trunk.

"I had to find a place where no one would recognize us. You, especially, oh great Hero of the Alliance."

She elbowed him in the side, and they walked through the front door.

"How are we going to check in? Obviously if I tell them I'm Commander Shepard, that blows our cover."

"Thought of that, too. Just keep quiet for a minute." He elbowed her back as an older woman walked up to the front counter.

"Hello and good morning!" She said, smiling broadly. "You must be Mr. and Mrs. Verner!"

"What." Said Shepard, glaring at Kaidan.

"Yes, yes. I have it right here. Mr. and Mrs. Conrad Verner, for three days and two nights! You have the end room with the ocean view. Lovely! Right this way!"

"I hate you so much right now." She hissed under her breath. He smiled at her, and hugged her around the shoulders.

"Of course you do, Dear."

They spent their first day lying out on the beach, talking about their lives, or just enjoying each others company in silence. Kaidan tried to nap, but couldn't stop glancing over at Shepard. She lay on her stomach in a black and red two piece, idly reading on a small datapad. _I'm never going to be able to look at her again without picturing her like this. I think my military career is over._ The longer they spent in the sun, the darker his already olive skin became, but Shepard exploded into a galaxy of freckles. Everywhere. He threatened to hold her down and play connect the dots with them, but she punched him in the arm. They grabbed dinner that night at a small restaurant, savoring their food too much to talk. It was the first meal either of them had had in months that hadn't been military rations, or awkward funeral buffet food. They left full and happy, then headed back to their room at the bed and breakfast. That night went much smoother then their first. Shepard wasn't a nervous wreck, facing what seemed like an impossible task, and Kaidan wasn't worried about Joker listening in. Not having a deadline, he took his time, memorizing the way her hair smelled, his fingers learning the curves of her hips, tracing the path of her scars. He only had a few nights with her before they had to go back to the Normandy and separation, he wasn't going to waste them. When they finally fell asleep, satisfied and exhausted, she was nestled against his chest, a small smile on her face.

Kaidan awoke before she did in the morning, and breathed a sigh of relief. Part of him was worried she would be up again, fully dressed and ready to leave. He kissed the top of her head, and closed his eyes, not wanting to spoil the moment. After twenty minutes or so, she gave a small groan and stirred, opening her eyes slowly to look up at him.

"Hi." She said, smiling lazily.

"Hi. Ready for breakfast?" She nodded, and gathered the sheets around her, trying to stand up. "Shepard, what are you doing?"

"Um, getting dressed?"

"What's with the sheet?" She blushed so furiously her new freckles practically disappeared. He decided to let her off the hook. She is still new to all this. _So am I, come to think of it._ "Fine. But you're making the bed later."

Looking over their options for their second day, they decided to explore the small town and the boardwalk. It took them all day, since Shepard stopped and talked to everyone they passed on the street.

"It's nice talking to people who don't automatically assume I want something." She said. "Or want me do do something. Or want to kill me."

"I don't know, that old man over there with the vegetable stand looks rather shifty." Kaidan said, laughing. Spending time with her was making him silly. He was never silly. He walked a few feet down the street before he realized Shepard wasn't with him. She was standing on the corner, staring out at the dunes.

"Hey. What's going on?"

"I want to go talk to that man over there." She pointed at a scruffy looking man in a floppy hat. He was carrying a large walking stick with bells on it.

"Not a problem. You've been talking to everyone. What's so special about this..." He stopped as a small head popped up over the top of the dune. He had goats. "You want to go see the goats, don't you."

"Yup." She called back to him as she walked across the street. He jogged to catch up, and spent an hour watching her be in complete bliss. She obviously still held affection for the small animals, she treated them with as much attention as she gave her arsenal. When the goatherd gave her a small kid to hold, she sat down with it, cradling it in her arms like an infant. _Its so strange to see her in a nurturing role, as opposed to killing everything she sees. I wonder if she'd be a good mother. She'd be hard, but I think she'd do alright._ She looked up at him and grinned. Letting the kid stumble off her lap, she took Kaidan's hand an pulled herself up.

"I really missed those little guys. They were like my family." They set off back into the town. "Did I ever apologize to you and Tali for holding you hostage in the Mako, forcing you to listen to me ramble about goats?"

"It was interesting! We were the first people to find out about your path. Besides, if you were going to apologize for anything, it should be your driving." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Anyway, I did the same thing to you, when you started asking about BAaT. You didn't need to hear all of my pointless ramblings."

"It wasn't pointless. It gave me a lot to think about."

"How so?"

They stepped into a small cafe, and took a seat near a window.

"I knew there was something happening. Between us. But you were so hung up on her. You obviously don't deal well with abandonment." Kaidan opened his mouth to protest, but she held up her hand. "Not rejection, but abandonment. You loved her, and she disappeared from your life without a trace. It practically destroyed you for 10 years. I knew it would be a career risk anyway getting involved with you, but I had to be sure it was something we both wanted badly enough. I couldn't be another woman who walked away from you." She put her hand in his. "I'm not walking away from this. If the Alliance finds out, and transfers one of us, then we'll make that choice together. But I'm not going to abandon you. I'm not going to just disappear."

"I would have never pegged you as a romantic, Shepard." He held her hand tightly in his.

"Don't tell anyone. I have a reputation as a bad ass to uphold." She took a sip of the coffee a waiter had dropped off. "Do you still think about her?"

"Rahna? Not really. The guilt about what happened will always be there, but I think I just needed a good mental kick to get back in gear. I can't believe I spent so long obsessed with finding her." He sighed heavily. "I must have been so whiny. Why was anyone friends with me?"

"It's the hair." Shepard said, and Kaidan's hands instinctively went to smooth it down. She laughed loudly, startling people at other tables. "I can't believe you just did that."

After paying for their coffee, they stopped by another small store to buy dinner to take back to their room.

_It feels so good to be doing normal things. Grocery shopping. Holding hands in public. This can't be the last time we do this. _As they ate their takeout and watched an action vid, Kaidan felt something nagging at the back of his brain. It wasn't until later, when they were in bed, did he figure out what it was.

"Hey, about what you said earlier..."

Shepard rolled onto her side and propped herself up on one elbow.

"When?"

"When we were at the cafe. You said you weren't walking away from this. What did you mean?"

She sighed, but gave him a shy smile.

"I meant... I don't consider this a fling or anything. I know we've not really known each other for that long, but our lifestyle breeds strong relationships. I want this to keep going." She looked him dead in the eye. "I'll be with you as long as you want me."

He grinned and kissed her softly.

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear. I was thinking... Remember Noveria?"

"The stupid bureaucratic snow planet?"

" Yes, that one. You said you never thought about what you wanted to do after the military, since you always planned on dying?"

She raised an eyebrow at him and nodded.

"Well, I was thinking of mustering out in five years when my contract comes up. I'll have saved up enough to move back to Vancouver and get work as a mechanic or something. You should... come with me."

"Muster out? You don't think I should go career?"

"Do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Not knowing if you are going to get shot, or blown up every five minutes? Never having a real family of your own? Not goats, but actual kids?"

She looked thoughtful, staring at the wall.

"I honestly never really thought about it." She said softly. "I guess I do want that. Anderson is career, and has a family, but he's not N7, or a Spectre. I don't know if I can muster out by then, but I'll talk to Anderson. Maybe once we get another human Spectre, I can step down, eventually." She looked up at him. "Will you wait to muster out until I can?"

"Seriously?" He rolled her over onto her back and gave her a deep kiss. "You'll do it? You'll leave the military with me for a life as a civilian?" She nodded, and kissed him back.

"Now sleep, we both have long days tomorrow."

He groaned. The last thing he wanted was to split off from Shepard at the Spaceport and go see his parents. They stared out the window as a storm rolled over the ocean.

"It almost looks like Virmire, doesn't it?" He said, watching lightning jump from cloud to cloud. She nodded, her hair rustling against his chest. "I really thought I was going to die there."

"I wasn't going to let you."

"It's funny. I've always thought of myself as the guy who protects people. Who puts himself out there to keep other people from getting hurt." He sighed and idly twisted a strand of her hair in his fingers. "And how many times now have you saved my ass?"

"Well, its very nice." She grinned up at him wickedly. "You did your fair share of saving, too. There was that fancy trick with the biotics on Therum. That sniper would have shot me through the heart if I didn't have your extra protection, and Eden Prime. You brought me back to the Normandy."

"But Eden Prime was my fault in the first place, so that doesn't count."

"Oh, and that time I broke my nose and couldn't see out of my helmet."

"Yes, you were so delightful."

She wrinkled her nose at him, yawned, then flipped back onto her stomach, and fluffed her pillow into a ball. Slowly, he pulled the blanked down so her back was exposed.

"What are you doing?" She asked sleepily.

"Playing connect the dots." He let his biotics flare, and traced his finger across her back from freckle to freckle. She gave a shiver, and let her eyes close as he drew shapes on her skin with blue lightning.

The next morning, Kaidan made breakfast as Shepard packed their things.

"Alenko, you make a mean omelet. I should fire you as Lieutenant, and just keep you onboard as my personal chef."

"As long as I get to sleep in your cabin."

"So its true. You are using me for my bed."

"Caught again."

They smiled sadly at each other. The odds of them getting breakfast like this again in the near future were slim to none. Once they were back on the Normandy, they were being sent out on long patrols. They wouldn't get another shore leave for at least another year.

After they checked out, they carried their bags into the parking lot and waited for their taxi. They watched as a small boy ran up to various groups of tourists on the beach and the nearby boardwalk, before making his way to them.

"Souvenir picture?" He asked, smiling through missing teeth and waving a large camera at them. "It prints right here, you can take the picture home with you, for only five credits!"

Shepard shrugged at Kaidan, and flipped the kid a 10 credit chip.

"Alright, small fry, but make it quick."

Kaidan put his arm around her shoulder and she leaned her head on him. The camera flashed, and spit out a small holophoto.

"You'd better keep that somewhere safe." Shepard said as their taxi pulled up. "Don't let anyone find it."

"I'll keep it at my parents." He agreed, tucking it into his bag. They climbed into the cab, and watched as the ocean disappeared out of sight.

"The night before Ilos... you were right." Shepard said softly. "Nothing can change. We can't let this get in the way of our duty to the Alliance. We have to keep it secret. If they find out, they'll separate us, maybe even court martial you."

"I know." He said sadly.

As the taxi approached the spaceport, Shepard leaned over and gave Kaidan one last kiss. He pulled her in close, not wanting to lose her softness, but had to let go as they pulled up to the curb.

"You're really going to spend the rest of your shore leave on the Normandy?" He asked, pulling their bags out of the trunk. "That completely defeats the point."

"I have so much paperwork to fill out." She groaned. "Admiral Hackett wants me to go over some of the reports about Cerberus. There is some disturbing stuff going on with that group. I'll see you onboard in a few days." She glanced around at the crowds of people. "Let's make this look official, and not like the depressing thing it is."

Kaidan nodded, and saluted sharply.

"Aye aye, Ma'am. I'll see you when I report back in three days."

She saluted back.

"Enjoy your leave, Lieutenant."

They stared at each other, not wanting to break eye contact, until Shepard grabbed her bags and slipped into the crowd towards the larger space faring ships. Kaidan made his way to the local planet shuttles, and settled into an uncomfortable chair to wait. _I didn't looked at the picture._ He reached into his bag and pulled out the small holophoto. Shepard was laughing, her head resting on his chest, looking at the camera. His eyes were on her, staring down at her, a content smile on his face, even as her hair blew into his eyes. _Five years, and I can put this where everyone can see it. _He sighed heavily. _Five years of sneaking around, fearing for our lives, risking everything we have for everyone else. But we'll make it through. She drove a Mako through a mass relay. If we can survive that, we can survive anything, and in five years, we'll be free. _He tucked the picture back into his bag, and dreamed of his future.

(A/N wow. I cannot believe I finished it! I haven't accomplished something this big in a long time. I waited to post this until I finished the first chapter of my ME2 sequel, which I am calling "Repairing the Present". There is totally going to be a theme. Or motif. Or something. Anyway, I waited to post it so that it is easier to find. I guess if you just click on my lovely user name, it will appear. So yeah. Direct sequel. But I'll post more about it in the note to that story.

I really want to thank everyone who read this. Everyone who subscribed and commented holds a special place in my heart, but all you lovely people who read it are fantastic. I had a creative writing teacher basically tell me I sucked, and would never write anything of note. (she was a horrible teacher.) But I just finished something that over 700 people read. From all over the world. (On that note, hello to the UK, Poland, Australia, Denmark, France, Germany, Hungary, The Philippines, Afghanistan, New Zealand, Hong Kong, The Czech Republic, Finland, Singapore, Italy, Brazil, Switzerland, Japan, Russian, Ukraine, Panama, Sweden, Belgium, Bermuda, Israel, Mexico, The Netherlands, Portugal, Austria, Ireland, Korea, Thailand and Venezuela! And my fellow Americans, and lovely neighbors to the north, Canada! Yes, I geeked out a bit when I discovered that tracker on the website.) But yeah. Thank you all for taking the time to read about the silly things I imagine these characters doing. Bioware told an amazing story, I just wanted to throw in how I saw it. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this, and like my ME2 story. Go find it!

Finally, thanks again for reading, and if you celebrate a mid-winter holiday, I hope it is a wonderful one, and Happy New Year!

-Lara)


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